i've got this girl i like who (heaven forbid) lives in a different state

[K. Ayato]

As others have already addressed, you are too young for a relationship. Would it literally kill you to wait another year or two before starting one with this girl?

[Raiden no Kishi]

A more correct analogy would be Russian Roulette with five bullets and only one blank.

Nein, my friend. Five bullets and one rubber bullet.

.rai//

[Mr. SmartyPants]

Nein, my friend. Five bullets and one rubber bullet.

.rai//

Haha okay you win.

[heero yuy 95]

Listen, it seems you just made this thread to prove a point and disagree with everyone who tried to give you advice. But heed my words as well as the words of others. IF you go through with this, you're on the way to a world of hurt. But perhaps the hard way is at times the most effective way to learn

[seventh circle]

You need to realize we are trying to give you advice for YOUR benefit. Look at Kaemmerite's age. He is 26! He's almost a decade older than you, and certainly more wiser than you or I.

If you still disagree with us, you are acting just like this girl you presumably love. You give her advice right? And she tries to disagree with you? Am I correct? Sound familiar? That's also you right there, ignoring our advice to you because you don't think it will benefit you. However there are people more mature on these forums who say these things to benefit you. And if you disagree, well you'll probably realize the truth later after heartbreak.

i would also like to remind you of ur age smarty. again I say just cause u haven't experienced love at first site doesn't mean it doesn't exist. I'm not trying to argue with you. I'm trying to get u to see my side. And no offense to Kaemmerite, but age does not nesesarily mean you know better in every case and situation. I g2g i'll be back on tomarow.

[Mr. SmartyPants]

Not to mention, if she really DOES love you, why is she still with her previous boyfriend? Her criteria in choosing boyfriends seems pretty faulty. That shows a lot on what kind of person she is if she's also willing to go fast in a relationship.

i would also like to remind you of ur age smarty. again I say just cause u haven't experienced love at first site doesn't mean it doesn't exist. I'm not trying to argue with you. I'm trying to get u to see my side. And no offense to Kaemmerite, but age does not nesesarily mean you know better in every case and situation. I g2g i'll be back on tomarow.

You clearly ignored what I said. I pointed our your hypocrisy, so you should explain yourself further.

I may be your age, however you are certainly not acting your age.

There are plenty girls I've been attracted to at "first sight". However I am mature enough to recognize this is nothing but infatuation and should not be taken too seriously and developed hastily. Judging from your posts. You on the other hand do not seem to be able to differentiate infatuation from true love.

[Nate]

But perhaps the hard way is at times the most effective way to learn

I can vouch for that, but man, that's a way you do NOT want to travel.

I'm trying to get u to see my side.

Except your side is more than likely going to lead to intense emotional pain for you, and we're trying to HELP you, not hurt you. I really wish you could see that.

And no offense to Kaemmerite, but age does not nesesarily mean you know better in every case and situation.

Truly the words of a teenager who has little experience in life.

[heero yuy 95]

i would also like to remind you of ur age smarty. again I say just cause u haven't experienced love at first site doesn't mean it doesn't exist. I'm not trying to argue with you. I'm trying to get u to see my side. And no offense to Kaemmerite, but age does not nesesarily mean you know better in every case and situation. I g2g i'll be back on tomarow.

Lol, how much ya wanna bet ten years from now he's gonna be giving some young buck the exact same advice?

[K. Ayato]

You seem bent on following through with your impulsive decisions. If you pursue them, that's your choice, not ours. We're just trying to help you see it might not be the best thing to do right now.

By the way, age may not have any connection with how much you know, but coupled with experience (which a few of us in here have had), it speaks out pretty loud.

[Raiden no Kishi]

i would also like to remind you of ur age smarty. again I say just cause u haven't experienced love at first site doesn't mean it doesn't exist. I'm not trying to argue with you. I'm trying to get u to see my side. And no offense to Kaemmerite, but age does not nesesarily mean you know better in every case and situation. I g2g i'll be back on tomarow.

Yeah, he's your age. Your point? Where's your evidence that this "love at first sight" is anything but stupid juvenile lust? You are trying to argue. You are not taking advice properly. Have some humility.

.rai//

[K. Ayato]

Here's something to chew on. I thought what was going on between me and the guy I dated was love at first sight. There is no such thing. Period. There is, however, lust at first sight. I hope you have the sense to see and know the difference.

[Radical Dreamer]

Ok, first off, I'd like to point out that, though wisdom may not come with age, it does come with experience--something you don't seem to have, but something that Kaemmerite DOES have. I suggest you heed his advice.

Secondly, there is NO such thing as love as first sight. Like K. Ayato said, 1 Corinthians 13 mentions nothing about the subject, and the things it does mention can only come through time. You can't say you're in love with someone after knowing them for five minutes; as a girl, I'd say that's darn near offensive. And it's this girl's choice if she wants to break up with her boyfriend--not yours. I'll echo what the others have said when I suggest that you pray that God would do His will in this situation. If you start asking that she break up with him and start "dating" you, it's just being selfish.

[seventh circle]

Not to mention, if she really DOES love you, why is she still with her previous boyfriend? Her criteria in choosing boyfriends seems pretty faulty. That shows a lot on what kind of person she is if she's also willing to go fast in a relationship.

You clearly ignored what I said. I pointed our your hypocrisy, so you should explain yourself further.

I may be your age, however you are certainly not acting your age.

There are plenty girls I've been attracted to at "first sight". However I am mature enough to recognize this is nothing but infatuation and should not be taken too seriously and developed hastily. Judging from your posts. You on the other hand do not seem to be able to differentiate infatuation from true love.

first: I did not start this thread to get critisized for being in love with a girl. I started it to find out some ways to help her realize this guy is really bad.

second: The only reason she is still with this guy is because she doesn't want to hurt him

third: I did not ignore what u said. I am indeed not a hypocrit as u so distastefuly tried to say. from now on I will explain my self more.

fourthly: Just by trying to prove my side does not make me imature. I am and have listened to everything everyone has posted and in fact have taken it all into weather or not i truly love this girl. and to show you that i am acting more mature than this ocasion requires. Last night i was about to start yelling, but i kept calm and debated this like a real man would.

fifthly: yes just cause u may be atracted to a girl at first site doesn't mean ur in love, but it also doesn't mean ur not in love either. I have a question for you smary. What makes you think u can defferentiate between infatuation and true love better than me? As far as the experience thing goes I have quite a bit of experience. Probably more than i should and more than i would have liked so i do have some idea how to descerne true love from lust.

finaly: I have examined not only myself and my reasons for believing i am in love, but hers as well. I am not dismissing anyone's experience i'm just examining it more indepthly than some.

[seventh circle]

[quote="Radical Dreamer"]Ok, first off, I'd like to point out that, though wisdom may not come with age, it does come with experience--something you don't seem to have, but something that Kaemmerite DOES have. I suggest you heed his advice.

Secondly, there is NO such thing as love as first sight. Like K. Ayato said, 1 Corinthians 13 mentions nothing about the subject, and the things it does mention can only come through time. You can't say you're in love with someone after knowing them for five minutes]
ok. Dreamer. Once again just cause one chapter of the bible doesn't mension love at first site doesn't mean that it doesn't exist. And the bible doesn't say love at first site doesn't exist either. Agreed? The bible doesn't mension computers and yet they exist.

For all to read. I knew her alot longer than '5 minutes' before i finaly determined that i love her.

Now lets examine love for just the slightest chance that i'm wrong on how much I love her.

Jesus said in all four gospels that he loved the 12 desciples and the rest of the world so right there we see that love doesn't have to mean romanticaly because I can garauntee that Jesus didn't love them in That way. He loved them as he would his mother, broters, and sisters.

I would really apreciate if u actualy read more than just one chapter or book of the bible for a subject before you start trying to preach to some one on that subject and act as if that one verse/ chapter/ book is all that ever says anything on the subject. I can garantee that love is mensioned in well every book of the bible except for mabe one or 2.

And i believe (I could be wrong) that Ruth fell in love at first site. She went to the relative's fiel for her mother-in-law and instantly fell in love with the man.

[Mr. SmartyPants]

As far as the experience thing goes I have quite a bit of experience. Probably more than i should and more than i would have liked so i do have some idea how to descerne true love from lust.

Apparently not.

Look seventh circle, we (In fact, a lot of us in this thread) did our best to try to explain to you this is not the correct path to go. Most of us here are talking from persona experience (Such as K.Ayato and Kaemmerite, and to an extent myself)

We already said it a BUNCH of times. Nowhere in 1st Corinthians 13 mentions "Love at first sight" In fact it says "Love is Patient". And love at first sight is anything but patient.

You choose to disagree with us. Okay then, you reap what you sow. I hope that you learn from your mistakes, just like we have. Sometimes the hardest path is the best path to learning. What hurts you makes you stronger. As they say: No Pain No Gain.

[Nate]

I have a question for you smary. What makes you think u can defferentiate between infatuation and true love better than me?

Probably because he's read the Bible. Let's see if the Bible's criteria for love can be accomplished in two months:

Love is patient - You already said you've known her for two months and want to date her NOW. That doesn't sound patient to me.

love is kind - You can be kind to someone in two months, so that's an easy one.

It does not envy - I can't speak to this one.

it does not boast - "I know I'm in love with this girl and you guys don't know!" I'd say that's boastful.

it is not proud - I can't speak to this one either.

it is not rude - Ditto

it is not self-seeking - You seem to be doing decent on this one, at least.

it is not easily angered - How many disagreements have you had? I'm sure you haven't had many in two months. You already said last night you started getting angry, over things total strangers are posting on the internet. That implies you are easily angered.

it keeps no record of wrongs - How many times has she wronged you? How many times have you wronged her? If the answer to these is zero, you have no idea whether or not you're fulfilling this one. This one only comes with time when one of you has done something stupid to make the other angry. Until this happens, you CANNOT say you are in love.

Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth.

It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. - And you're in a different state than her, so you haven't had very many chances to protect her, and trust is a scary thing to have over the internet. Believe me, the other night in the CAA chat I pretended to be a girl, and a new member thought I WAS a girl. He probably trusted me. His trust was misplaced. Until you've been out and about a few times, you can't trust her, sorry, you can't.

Love has to meet ALL of these requirements. You cannot have met them all in the span of two months having never met her in person.

In closing, WE are not saying you're not in love with her. THE BIBLE is saying you're not in love with her. Is that bad? No, love comes with time. Your relationship with her CAN turn into love. But it's going to take TIME. Love is PATIENT. Not snap decisions or "I need to take a chance on this now."

EDIT:

The bible doesn't mension computers and yet they exist.

Ooh, a straw man argument. Computers don't have anything to do with faith and morality. Love does. The Bible is here to tell us about God, not the world.

[K. Ayato]

Pwned.

[jon_jinn]

I need help to convince her to dump him and be my girlfriend, which once she dumps him she has said she would be my girlfriend.

first of all, you're trying to help her do something for your own selfish reasons. if she really wants to dump him, then let her do it herself.

second, why are you getting mad at people who are trying to give you advice? you're basically destroying the whole point of this thread that you started, if there even IS a point. third, aren't you getting a little TOO excited about this. you've never met her in person and have you even met her parents? you're seriously sticking your nose in an issue that is not to be tampered with since it has nothing to do with you, except that you like this girl. if you really want to do something, why don't you pray about it? but then again, it's sorta useless to pray about selfish motives and how are you sure God wants you to get involved in this?

[Mr. SmartyPants]

how are you sure God wants you to get involved in this?

That's a very good point jon_jinn. I haven't thought of that. Seventh Circle, what does God tell you in this type of situation?

[K. Ayato]

Not only that, but are you 100% sure this is God's perfect will, or His permissive will? Trust me--and the word of others who've gone through this--you don't want to end up with the permissive will.

[seventh circle]

1) love is patient doesn't mean it can't be found instantly, but that it transends all wrong doings.

2) I never said that and would apreciate u not putting words in my mouth

3)yes i do have an anger problem, but i am working on it and she knows it. as far as wrong doings she hasn't really done anything to me, but thats more because i Love her so much that nothing she does really is considered wrong by me. I have wronged her though. I yelled at her when i shouldn't have and i feal really bad about it.

4) I may not be able to physicaly protect her from where i'm at but that doesn't mean i can't do anything to prevent her from being hurt emotionaly.

5) u ignored what i said about the bible and preaching

[seventh circle]

you are now all insulting me. None of you actualy read through all of my posts completely. I have stated multiple times that this thread for people to help me help her. I've said i don't care if she and i get together as long as she's no longer being hurt by this scum bag.

[Mr. SmartyPants]

It all ties down to one thing seventh circle. Is it God's will? That is, undoubtedly, the core of this discussion. Is it his will for you? Go search for that answer.

Edit: On the contrary, I am reading your posts. In fact, a great number of us are. I didn't notice a transition between "I want to be with this girl" to "I want to protect her from this scumbag". In my eyes, it appears that both topics are the central focus.

[samuraidragon]

There is a lot of good discussion going on here, but I have this feeling it's falling on deaf ears (or blind eyes XD). As much as you don't agree with what they're saying Seventh, just make sure it's not because you don't want them to be right. It can be hard to listen if whats being sad isn't what you want to hear, so just make sure you can see the discussion from both sides.

[seventh circle]

ya know smarty. I have to thank you for that post. That is the most mature and most considerate of all the posts here. thank you

[seventh circle]

There is a lot of good discussion going on here, but I have this feeling it's falling on deaf ears (or blind eyes XD). As much as you don't agree with what they're saying Seventh, just make sure it's not because you don't want them to be right. It can be hard to listen if whats being sad isn't what you want to hear, so just make sure you can see the discussion from both sides.

I am trying to see both sides. its just verry hard when they all narow their minds down to one single thing thats against me. Mabe if they knew the situation more and used more of the bible than just one chapter to show me this shouldn't be i wouldn't be arguing/ debating.

[Mr. SmartyPants]

I am trying to see both sides. its just verry hard when they all narow their minds down to one single thing thats against me. Mabe if they knew the situation more and used more of the bible than just one chapter to show me this shouldn't be i wouldn't be arguing/ debating.

It's arguable that you're being narrow minded as well; but I won't go further on that topic.

[seventh circle]

[quote="Mr. SmartyPants"]It's arguable that you're being narrow minded as well]
please do. If i'm being more narow minded than the rest of you I wish you would show me how so that i may fix it.

[Link Antilles]

Ok, I'm locking this thread down. I can only see this spiraling into an endless debate and not ending well. Please take this to Private Message.

[seventh circle]

it seems to have stopped to me, but ur the admin