Virgin over 18? Do they still exist?

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Postby Saint Kevin » Sat Feb 21, 2004 11:21 pm

You are not alone. I am a virgin as well and will remain so until marriage. It's good to be reminded sometimes that even though you might feel like it, you are not alone. Perhaps that's why I like this site. Anyway...

I have to agree with Orange and the others who say that we should not condemn those who have sinned sexually and repented. We are all ashamed of the many sins we have committed, and long to forget them. The last thing we need is condemnation from other believers for something we settled with God long ago.

God says that when we repent, He will remember our sins no more. In this respect, we are all newly purified by the blood of Christ each time we repent and accept His forgiveness. For this reason, we should strive never to condemn other believers for their sins after they have repented. However, to those who know Christ and continue in sin (e.g. being a Christian and having extra or pre-marital sex), whether their sins are sexually or otherwise, confrontation (in love, in humility, and in secret) is an absolute must. That is why our Lord told us to rebuke those who sin against us, but to never withhold forgiveness from them if they repent.

For this reason, I can say that I am open to marrying a woman who is not a virgin, provided she has repented of her sins and accepted Christ as her savior. Our primary concern should not be our past sins, but our present relationship with Him.
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Postby Fsiphskilm » Sat Feb 21, 2004 11:39 pm

Seriously though, I'm so happy to see that so many people value their virginity. I do too. It's the only thing I have to myself, that I know I have complete control over. I agree with Orange Kitten's statements. When choosing a spouce it's not very polite to ask them face to face wheather or not they're a virgin. But on the other hand you do deserve to know. But then again what's the point of knowing? Is it going to make a difference in your relationship? If loosing your virginity(before marrage is a sin and it's been forgiven for. Then shouldn't it be kept only between the sinner and God, no one else?

The thing here is. That it's a sin to sleep with two different people. Adultry it is called. Technically I don't think (i'm not sure) The reason why Marrage is so important to a sexual relationship is that it acts as a contract. A bond between two people, a promice that they will remain true and loyal to each other only and no one else. So if you sleep with your marital spouce and then run off sleeping with another, You've broken that promice. And your spouce is entitled to leaving you. And if your spouce finds another and sleeps with them Technicalled it wouldn't be adultry, you've broken the contract and they have the right to leave you. Same goes if you die, the contract of marrage no longer goes and you are free to find another.

Same goes for Ipickyerbrain. I don't think we should condem her for sex before marrage. Technically she hasn't done anything wrong. She's loyal to her one partner. But If anything were to happen and the marrage was called off, and she finds someone else later in life wouldn't that be considered Adultry? Becasue she wasn't protected by marrage with her first partner? That's why sleeping with your love even the night before you two are married is dangerous because you don't know what will happen the next day. Until you get that ring onyour finger and you've made that promice I wouldn't feel so prevelaged. Anything can happen.
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Postby Saint Kevin » Sat Feb 21, 2004 11:49 pm

From my understanding:
Adultery=extra-marital sex
Fornication=pre-marital sex
Both are explicitly condemned in scripture
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Postby Mave » Sun Feb 22, 2004 5:37 am

While everyone is celebrating their V-status, I don't think virginity always mean sexual purity.

Remember how Jesus raised the standard of adultery? If you look at a woman and lust after her, you're sinning. I don't know how everyone is defining virgin in their mind but I'm guessing the most common is "I haven't done it" in a physical sense. I may pass in the physical sense but I've fallen in the mind aspect.

I think it's brave of IPIckYerBrain to share. I wish you two a wonderful marriage this year or the divine strength to abstain from it until marriage.

Volt, couples should be honest about their past relationships for better understanding and trust. If your partner really loves you, he/she shouldn't be unforgiving of what you've done before. It's like "I know about your past. Let me take care of your future."
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Postby DrNic » Sun Feb 22, 2004 6:30 am

Im 16, still a virgin.
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Postby JediSonic » Sun Feb 22, 2004 7:12 am

Well I'm 14 now, and willl definitely stay a virgin until AFTER marraige.

You know, up till now I thought you had to be female to be a virgin. I guess you learn something new every day, when you have dictionary.com :lol:
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Postby Link Antilles » Sun Feb 22, 2004 7:53 am

I'm 17 and still 'am a virgin. I have sworn to be until I marry that special lady.
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Postby Hitokiri » Sun Feb 22, 2004 9:31 am

Thats a intresting thought Mave. That if you thought lustfully of a person of the opposite sex, that's adultery. In that sense, I'm as guilty as charged unfortuantly. It's hard but God will help you walk through it if you allow him to.

I think it's a honor to prclaim yourself a vergin. Cause 1) you're bieng a light for Christ to other people 2) you're showing others you have self control and 3) you honor yourself and your future spouse.

I don't know who God has chosen for me to marry and I don't even know if I will get married. If it's God's will, as much a si proably won't like it, i have to follow it. But if it's a female who did lose her virginity, I will love her as God loves her.

A thought came to me that a group of people that most people forget to rememebr and pray for. The women (or guys) who sells thier bodies or display them for viewing. As much as we dislike thier behavior, thier morales, and what they are doing. We can't condem them just cause they ar eliving a life full of sin. God still loves them so we still have to too.
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Postby bemanisuperstar » Sun Feb 22, 2004 9:51 am

There is still free will.

Maybe we are on our Own when it comes to love......
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Postby Shinja » Sun Feb 22, 2004 10:18 am

i think virginity is important , premarital sex is forgiveable like all other sin, but sexual sin can mess some one up really fast, so "dont have sex before marriage" is not a comand for us to judge others by, its one we should listen to personally, sexual sin can leave lasting scars and hurt your future relationships. sex is ment for marriage and i believe this is the only way sex can prperly exist.
as far as lustfull adultry, that can be just as bad, epescily through the almost ever present presintation of porn that exist today. personally anything to do with sex is best left post marrage, the bible says, all other sins are outside the body but to sin sexually is to sin aginst yourself.
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Postby Ashley » Sun Feb 22, 2004 10:19 am

Maybe we are on our Own when it comes to love......


Scripturally I wouldn't think so. Two verses come to mind:

1 Corinthians 6:13-20 wrote:The body is not meant for sexual immorality, but for the Lord, and the Lord for the body. 14By his power God raised the Lord from the dead, and he will raise us also. 15Do you not know that your bodies are members of Christ himself? Shall I then take the members of Christ and unite them with a prostitute? Never! 16Do you not know that he who unites himself with a prostitute is one with her in body? For it is said, "The two will become one flesh."[2] 17But he who unites himself with the Lord is one with him in spirit.
18Flee from sexual immorality. All other sins a man commits are outside his body, but he who sins sexually sins against his own body. 19Do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit, who is in you, whom you have received from God? You are not your own]

That deals very specifically with sexual relations and what the Lord expects of us.

Also consider this verse as well:
1 Thessalonians 4:3-8 wrote:It is God's will that you should be sanctified: that you should avoid sexual immorality] in a way that is holy and honorable, 5not in passionate lust like the heathen, who do not know God; 6and that in this matter no one should wrong his brother or take advantage of him. The Lord will punish men for all such sins, as we have already told you and warned you. 7For God did not call us to be impure, but to live a holy life. 8Therefore, he who rejects this instruction does not reject man but God, who gives you his Holy Spirit.


I think these--and the other multitude of verses dealing with sex and sexual temptation--make it very clear what the word of God has to say about the subject.
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Postby bemanisuperstar » Sun Feb 22, 2004 10:56 am

Shinja wrote:i think virginity is important , premarital sex is forgiveable like all other sin, but sexual sin can mess some one up really fast, so "dont have sex before marriage" is not a comand for us to judge others by, its one we should listen to personally, sexual sin can leave lasting scars and hurt your future relationships. sex is ment for marriage and i believe this is the only way sex can prperly exist.
as far as lustfull adultry, that can be just as bad, epescily through the almost ever present presintation of porn that exist today. personally anything to do with sex is best left post marrage, the bible says, all other sins are outside the body but to sin sexually is to sin aginst yourself.


Yeah I'm guilty of The Pr0n viewing but last night I pretty much said enough
time I could be spending looking for that right girl for me.
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Postby NightHedgehog » Sun Feb 22, 2004 11:32 am

There is actually not a human alive that has never lusted after another person. It's human nature, nothing to really be ashamed of because you can't help it, especially in your teen years. As there is no man alive that can honestly said he has never done another thing.

Anyway, I believe that if you have sexual intercourse, you should think about consequences first. Most importantly would be pregnancy since that is more likely to happen. Intercourse is meant to be something between a man and a woman to show thier love for each other, not a random feeling of pleasure.
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Postby cbwing0 » Sun Feb 22, 2004 11:36 am

I am a virgin, and plan to remain so until I am married.

"You have heard that it was said, 'Do not commit adultery.' But I tell you that anyone who looks at a woman lustfully has already committed adultery with her in his heart" (Matthew 5:27-28).

This is especially difficult in today's culture, where sexual images and immoral dress are endemic; However, it is still possible to keep the biblical standard of purity if you are determine to follow it. That is the key: you must want to commit yourself to purity with all of your mind, body, and heart.

The question is, are you ready to put this aspect of your life under the authority of God's will?
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Postby Toki-chan » Sun Feb 22, 2004 12:30 pm

yeah, I want to wait till I find the one right one...(forgot to add and get married :red:) Today at chuch we even just had a day where the youth come out and affirim that they will stay a virgin till marrige, and that helped me so much in confendance that I would be able to stand up under pressure!! :grin:
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Postby DrNic » Sun Feb 22, 2004 1:29 pm

I dont see whats so bad about having sex only after marriage. Just proves you have a strong character and dont give in to temptation easily. If you think sex is the most important thing EVER then you'll just waste your life trying to satisfy something thats impossible to satisfy i.e lust! Am I right or am I right?
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Postby CDLviking » Sun Feb 22, 2004 1:29 pm

I am 21 and plan to remain a virgin for the sake of the Kingdom. I would also agree that we should forgive those who have had sex in the past, but have repented. Actually I would say that we must forgive them, for that is what Christ has commanded us to do, and what he himself did.
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Postby cbwing0 » Sun Feb 22, 2004 1:33 pm

DrNic wrote:If you think sex is the most important thing EVER then you'll just waste your life trying to satisfy something thats impossible to satisfy i.e lust! Am I right or am I right?

It is a substitute for what we really need (i.e. love, self-esteem, etc.), so the sinful desire will only increase with time, unless met with their proper object. It's kind of like drinking saltwater when you're dying of thirst: it will only make your more thirsty.
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Postby CDLviking » Sun Feb 22, 2004 1:36 pm

I have to disagree with nighthedgehog. Lust is a sin, and a sin is something that we choose over God. Since we choose it, it is something that we can avoid. You may be right that there are no men left alive who have not lusted, but I choose to have hope that there are still people in this world with a pure enough heart to see each other in the image of God instead of sexual objects.
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Postby bemanisuperstar » Sun Feb 22, 2004 4:18 pm

Well since it is out in the open that I am a single virgin (and loveable loser)

Any girls here lookin for a boyfriend ;^)
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Postby Ashley » Sun Feb 22, 2004 4:20 pm

just be careful about online stuff...whether you are serious or not, it's still quite the sensitive issue. And remember don't solicit personal info...

just a reminder from your friendly neighborhood admin.
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Postby NightHedgehog » Sun Feb 22, 2004 4:29 pm

I hate to disappoint you, but people didn't just turn perverted in a matter of decades. The only reason people say it's like it now was because of the fact it's more out in the open, not in the mind of the individual. The only thing stopping it from becoming public back then was the threat of not getting married or being killed.
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Postby cbwing0 » Sun Feb 22, 2004 4:36 pm

NightHedgehog wrote:I hate to disappoint you, but people didn't just turn perverted in a matter of decades. The only reason people say it's like it now was because of the fact it's more out in the open, not in the mind of the individual. The only thing stopping it from becoming public back then was the threat of not getting married or being killed.

So are you saying that it is ok not the be pure, or at least to stop seeking purity? I would have to argue with you there. And the fact that it is now "out in the open," does in fact make it worse, because when such things get so much exposure, they become accepted; in addition, the more you see it, the more likely you are to think about it, thus making it worse.

Granted, most, if not all of the stuff we see today was present in some form in biblical times (just look at Corinth), however, that does not mean we should accept the status quo, or buy into the notion that lust is unavoidable. Of course everyone stumbles, but that does not mean that no one is pursuing purity and growing in holiness in this respect.
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Postby NightHedgehog » Sun Feb 22, 2004 4:41 pm

I was just addressing the idea that the "good ol' days" were so pure and good that it could be on channel 2 in the mornings. I wasn't trying to go against people being pure of heart.
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Postby cbwing0 » Sun Feb 22, 2004 4:44 pm

Ok...I would still say that some things (internet porn, for example) are worse today than they were in "the good 'ol days," but thanks for clarifying.
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Postby Hitokiri » Sun Feb 22, 2004 5:33 pm

Lust will always and forever be in the minds of human biengs until the coming of God and his estblishment of his Kingdom on Earth. From the time that Adam and Eve took the bite from the apple to then, we will always have a natural sex drive. It's a fact of life. I'm not saying every single person thinks bout sex 24/7. What I'm saying is that people in general do have sexual thoughts at one time or another.

Of course with God you can help i guess..control that drive but that sin is still there and that thought of lust is always around you. Several people have control over what they think and do while other's have no control on it.

Our youth group is going to view a movie called "Sex has a Price" so when we do watch it (and if this thread is still going on and not closed or neglected), I will post what was on the movie, unless someone else has seen it.
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Postby mechana2015 » Sun Feb 22, 2004 7:45 pm

19 and keeping virgin 'till marriage.
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Postby CDLviking » Sun Feb 22, 2004 7:49 pm

Our natural sex drive is not equivalent to lust though. It is a result of God's first command, "Increase and multiply, and fill the earth."
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Postby JediSonic » Sun Feb 22, 2004 7:56 pm

To a point.
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Postby Ashley » Sun Feb 22, 2004 8:44 pm

Our natural sex drive is not equivalent to lust though. It is a result of God's first command, "Increase and multiply, and fill the earth."


Take that command in context though. God was speaking to the first married couple, thus putting sex and it's proper function into perspective. Adam and Eve weren't teenagers in love; they were man and wife and a perfect, model couple before God (well, save the whole sinning thing)
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