Chuck Norris wrote:Have you heard of the "Chuck Norris Facts"?
There are more than 50,000 jokes making their way around the Internet that purport to be "facts" all playing off my movie roles as a "tough guy" and my history as a martial arts champion. But they aren't "jokes" to those who spread them – they're "facts."
Here are a few of my favorites:
"When the Boogeyman goes to sleep every night, he checks his closet for Chuck Norris."
"Chuck Norris doesn't read books. He stares them down until he gets the information he wants."
"Outer space exists because it's afraid to be on the same planet with Chuck Norris."
These "facts" have become a phenomenon – a fad spread mainly by young people of high school and college age. It's hard to explain why these things happen – how they take on a life of their own.
Naturally, over the past couple years as this wildfire has been raging, people have asked me, "What do you think of all this?"
My answer is always the same: Some are funny. Some are pretty far out. And, thankfully, most are just promoting harmless fun. (But be careful if you go searching for "Chuck Norris Facts" on the Internet, because some are just not appropriate for kids.)
Being more a student of the Wild West than the wild world of the Internet, I'm not quite sure what to make of the craze of "Chuck Norris Facts." It's quite surprising. I do know that boys will be boys, and I neither take offense nor take these things too seriously. I'm so grateful for my fans. Who knows, maybe these one liners will prompt some one to seek out the real facts about me and the beliefs that have shaped my life and my career.
While I have as much fun as anyone else reading and quoting them, let's face it, most "Chuck Norris Facts" describe someone with supernatural, superhuman powers. They're describing a superman character. And in the history of this planet, there has only been one real Superman. It's not me.
Let me illustrate using a few of the claims being made about me in the various lists of "Chuck Norris Facts":
Alleged Chuck Norris Fact: "Faster than a speeding bullet ... more powerful than a locomotive ... able to leap tall buildings in a single bound... yes, these are some of Chuck Norris' warm-up exercises."
I've got a bulletin for you, folks. I am no superman. I realize that now, but I didn't always. As six-time world karate champion and then a movie star, I put too much trust in who I was, what I could do and what I acquired. I forgot how much I needed others and especially God. Whether we are famous or not, we all need God. We also need other people.
If your whole life is spent trying to make money and you neglect the people important in your life, you will create an emptiness deep in your heart and soul. I know. I fell into that trap. I dedicated my whole life to fame and fortune. I had a huge hole in my heart and was miserable until I met my wife, Gena, who brought me back to the Lord.
Alleged Chuck Norris Fact: "There is no theory of evolution. Just a list of creatures Chuck Norris has allowed to live." It's funny. It's cute. But here's what I really think about the theory of evolution: It's not real. It is not the way we got here. In fact, the life you see on this planet is really just a list of creatures God has allowed to live. We are not creations of random chance. We are not accidents. There is a God, a Creator, who made you and me. We were made in His image, which separates us from all other creatures.
By the way, without him, I don't have any power. But with Him, the Bible tells me, I really can do all things – and so can you.
Alleged Chuck Norris Fact: "Chuck Norris' tears can cure cancer. Too bad he never cries. Ever."
There was a man whose tears could cure cancer or any other disease, including the real cause of all diseases – sin. His blood did. His name was Jesus, not Chuck Norris.
If your soul needs healing, the prescription you need is not Chuck Norris' tears, it's Jesus' blood.
Again, I'm flattered and amazed by the way I've become a fascinating public figure for a whole new generation of young people around the world. But I am not the characters I play. And even the toughest characters I have played could never measure up to the real power in this universe.
Chuck Norris is a columnist?
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Chuck Norris is a columnist?
This is for real. I have the URL but I will only give it via PM because the source of the column is from a very politically oriented website.
Job 7:16
I loathe my life; I would not live forever. Let me alone, for my days are but a breath.
I loathe my life; I would not live forever. Let me alone, for my days are but a breath.
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Ingemar - Posts: 2244
- Joined: Sun Mar 28, 2004 12:43 pm
- Location: A Dungeon
I had heard about that, but never read it. I think it's cool that he gives all his credit to Jesus. The only thing I don't get is where he got the idea that those jokes started as facts? I'm pretty sure they were always just jokes. . .
Be Thou my Vision, O Lord of my heart;
Naught be all else to me, save that Thou art
Thou my best Thought, by day or by night,
Waking or sleeping, Thy presence my light.
Be Thou my Wisdom, and Thou my true Word;
I ever with Thee and Thou with me, Lord;
Thou my great Father, I Thy true son;
Thou in me dwelling, and I with Thee one.
Be Thou my battle Shield, Sword for the fight;
Be Thou my Dignity, Thou my Delight;
Thou my soul’s Shelter, Thou my high Tower:
Raise Thou me heavenward, O Power of my power.
Riches I heed not, nor man’s empty praise,
Thou mine Inheritance, now and always:
Thou and Thou only, first in my heart,
High King of Heaven, my Treasure Thou art.
High King of Heaven, my victory won,
May I reach Heaven’s joys, O bright Heaven’s Sun!
Heart of my own heart, whatever befall,
Still be my Vision, O Ruler of all.
Naught be all else to me, save that Thou art
Thou my best Thought, by day or by night,
Waking or sleeping, Thy presence my light.
Be Thou my Wisdom, and Thou my true Word;
I ever with Thee and Thou with me, Lord;
Thou my great Father, I Thy true son;
Thou in me dwelling, and I with Thee one.
Be Thou my battle Shield, Sword for the fight;
Be Thou my Dignity, Thou my Delight;
Thou my soul’s Shelter, Thou my high Tower:
Raise Thou me heavenward, O Power of my power.
Riches I heed not, nor man’s empty praise,
Thou mine Inheritance, now and always:
Thou and Thou only, first in my heart,
High King of Heaven, my Treasure Thou art.
High King of Heaven, my victory won,
May I reach Heaven’s joys, O bright Heaven’s Sun!
Heart of my own heart, whatever befall,
Still be my Vision, O Ruler of all.
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Yumie - Posts: 1939
- Joined: Sat Apr 09, 2005 12:00 pm
- Location: In a house
I had read a portion from that article several months ago, but I didn't know there was a full article about it. I think it's cool how humble he is, though, giving all the credit to God. But yeah, I agree with Yumie, I'm pretty sure they always have and always will be "jokes". XD
[color="DeepSkyBlue"]4 8 15 16 23[/color] 42
[color="PaleGreen"]Rushia: YOU ARE MY FAVORITE IGNORANT AMERICAN OF IRISH DECENT. I LOVE YOU AND YOUR POTATOES.[/color]
[color="Orange"]WELCOME TO MOES[/color]
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Radical Dreamer - Posts: 7950
- Joined: Sat May 28, 2005 9:00 am
- Location: Some place where I can think up witty things to say under the "Location" category.
Now that I see the article, I think that I have seen portions of it quoted in different contexts in the past. Interesting to read all of it, and I suppose it is good that he is unashamed of his faith.
I believe he only meant that they are generally given as if they were facts.
Yumie wrote:The only thing I don't get is where he got the idea that those jokes started as facts? I'm pretty sure they were always just jokes. . .
I believe he only meant that they are generally given as if they were facts.
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uc pseudonym - Posts: 15506
- Joined: Tue Jun 10, 2003 4:00 am
- Location: Tanzania
Wow, that awesome!
And I thought part of the joke was that they were called 'facts'.
And I thought part of the joke was that they were called 'facts'.
Everywhere like such as, and MOES.
"Expect great things from God; attempt great things for God." - William Carey
"Expect great things from God; attempt great things for God." - William Carey
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Warrior4Christ - Posts: 2045
- Joined: Sat Aug 20, 2005 8:10 pm
- Location: Carefully place an additional prawn on the barbecue
Warrior4Christ wrote:And I thought part of the joke was that they were called 'facts'.
That's right, their being called 'facts' is just part of the joke.
This article's awesome. I like how he integrated the "Chuck Norris Facts" fad intoa way to tell people about Jesus.
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mastersquirrel - Posts: 696
- Joined: Thu Oct 07, 2004 10:55 am
- Location: I saw a squirrel! ...... It was going like this!!!
uc pseudonym wrote:I believe he only meant that they are generally given as if they were facts.
Aaah, that makes a bit more sense.
Be Thou my Vision, O Lord of my heart;
Naught be all else to me, save that Thou art
Thou my best Thought, by day or by night,
Waking or sleeping, Thy presence my light.
Be Thou my Wisdom, and Thou my true Word;
I ever with Thee and Thou with me, Lord;
Thou my great Father, I Thy true son;
Thou in me dwelling, and I with Thee one.
Be Thou my battle Shield, Sword for the fight;
Be Thou my Dignity, Thou my Delight;
Thou my soul’s Shelter, Thou my high Tower:
Raise Thou me heavenward, O Power of my power.
Riches I heed not, nor man’s empty praise,
Thou mine Inheritance, now and always:
Thou and Thou only, first in my heart,
High King of Heaven, my Treasure Thou art.
High King of Heaven, my victory won,
May I reach Heaven’s joys, O bright Heaven’s Sun!
Heart of my own heart, whatever befall,
Still be my Vision, O Ruler of all.
Naught be all else to me, save that Thou art
Thou my best Thought, by day or by night,
Waking or sleeping, Thy presence my light.
Be Thou my Wisdom, and Thou my true Word;
I ever with Thee and Thou with me, Lord;
Thou my great Father, I Thy true son;
Thou in me dwelling, and I with Thee one.
Be Thou my battle Shield, Sword for the fight;
Be Thou my Dignity, Thou my Delight;
Thou my soul’s Shelter, Thou my high Tower:
Raise Thou me heavenward, O Power of my power.
Riches I heed not, nor man’s empty praise,
Thou mine Inheritance, now and always:
Thou and Thou only, first in my heart,
High King of Heaven, my Treasure Thou art.
High King of Heaven, my victory won,
May I reach Heaven’s joys, O bright Heaven’s Sun!
Heart of my own heart, whatever befall,
Still be my Vision, O Ruler of all.
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Yumie - Posts: 1939
- Joined: Sat Apr 09, 2005 12:00 pm
- Location: In a house
dude... chuck norris' cooless just jumped through the roof. my friends and i have joked about those, but seeing him use those jokes in such a way makes him even cooler.
Jesus gives you wiiings!
I find your lack of faith disturbing... -Darth Vader, Star Wars A New Hope
^_^x Who loves Rurouni Kenshin?
(O-O) <-----glasses pride
I find your lack of faith disturbing... -Darth Vader, Star Wars A New Hope
^_^x Who loves Rurouni Kenshin?
(O-O) <-----glasses pride
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carneman - Posts: 85
- Joined: Thu Jun 16, 2005 8:37 pm
- Location: a guest on earth for my home is in hevan
I think I have been around Temmy too much here as I first thought it was:
Chuck Norris Is A Communist!
Bad USSRGirl...Bad!
Chuck Norris Is A Communist!
Bad USSRGirl...Bad!
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mitsuki lover - Posts: 8486
- Joined: Sun Oct 03, 2004 12:00 pm
mitsuki lover wrote:I think I have been around Temmy too much here as I first thought it was:
Chuck Norris Is A Communist!
Bad USSRGirl...Bad!
That's how I read it first, too. I was like... 'What the heck...?!!!'
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Azier the Swordsman - Posts: 3109
- Joined: Sat Oct 11, 2003 10:00 am
- Location: Earth
Chuck Norris is so cool that they even mentioned his show on Buffy,The Vampire Slayer.It was the episode where Xander ends up hanging around the zombie jocks.
In one scene after one of them is raised from the dead the first question he asks is if his friend taped Walker,Texas Ranger.I guess even zombie jocks need their
Walker fix!
In one scene after one of them is raised from the dead the first question he asks is if his friend taped Walker,Texas Ranger.I guess even zombie jocks need their
Walker fix!
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mitsuki lover - Posts: 8486
- Joined: Sun Oct 03, 2004 12:00 pm
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