Attention!! First Ever Inklings Mudsling Showdown!!

[USSRGirl]

I, Temulin, hereby propose to the first ever literary mudwrestling match. It's like the WWF smackdown of literature between two authors. In this case I select J.R.R. Tolkien and C.S. Lewis to compete. Since both authors are technically deceased, I shall serve as Lewis' fan representative and invite someone to volunteer to be Tolkien's (hmm... maybe some snivelling coward with the intials Z.I.???).

This was inspired by my 'I hate Tolkien thread.' It's basically an all-out slugfest between two opposing fans. We will serve tea and biscuits under the dim candle light of an antique bookstore setting for our audience. A mudpit along with chairs, chainsaws, and other props shall be set up in the middle. Each contestant gets one move in which they must first quote a line from a book written by their author before making their move. Contest starts at the sound of the pop-gun and lasts for two days. At the end of two days our non-bias judge will declare winner.

Participants needed (BTW, if this gets too disruptive I shall move it Goof Off):

1. Representative of J.R.R. Tolkien.

2. Non-bias panel of exactly four judges (all judges receive a 50 dollar gift certificate from Temulin! But don't let that influence your opinion at all).

3. Audience!! To cheer and shout and such.

LET THE GAMES BEGIN!!!!!

[Animus Seed]

No bias between Lewis and Tolkein, eh? I'll be a judge, then.

[JasonPratt]

Ditto (no bias here.)

I can't wait for you to marry the match, though. (Since you proposed to it... )

[RedMage]

And now, the results of The Epilogue: God exists by two falls and a submission.

[USSRGirl]

Done.

Animus Seed - Judge #1

Jason - Judge #2

Redmage - Maker of cyrptic and random comments to distract contestants.

Hmph! That weasal Zarn still hasn't showed? Bah. And he calls himself a man. He sends Peanut as a messenger every time he wants to PM me. I'm disgusted. Hmph.

[JasonPratt]

I have to admit, that was a pretty good apparently random comment, though. {g}

[Kokhiri Sojourn]

I think I've got a slight bias, so I should probably sit this one out. But I'll be around.

[meboeck]

It's hard to imagine such a heated debate since the two authors were such good friends. Well, I might as well watch.

[RedMage]

I have to admit, that was a pretty good apparently random comment, though. {g}

Thanks.

It's a Monty Python quote. In one sketch, a minister and an atheist scholar are both appearing on an intellectual talk show called The Epilogue. After the introductions, the host reveals that they'll be settling the issue of whether or not God exists by having a wrestling match over it. At this point, they cut away to the next sketch, and the match isn't mentioned again until the ending credits of the episode, where a voiceover informs us of the results of the contest: God exists by two falls and a submission.

[RedMage]

It's hard to imagine such a heated debate since the two authors were such good friends. Well, I might as well watch.

Tolkein, I've heard, didn't like the Chronicles. He thought they were too allegorical.

[mitsuki lover]

I'm more Pro-Lewis.

[USSRGirl]

Monty Python... hmmm everyone says it's so funny but for some reason I didn't like the movie much. *shrug* I actually had that same idea though. A theology smackdown event in church where two pastors debate on subjects like infant baptism while throwing chairs at each other. ^___^

Still needed!!:

Two more judges (Looks toward Mitsuki and Redmage >.>)

One J.R.R. Tolkien fan tough enough to compete with Temulin!

[RedMage]

Monty Python... hmmm everyone says it's so funny but for some reason I didn't like the movie much.

Which movie? The ones that are collections of sketches are OK, the ones that actually try to have a plot like Monty Python and the Holy Grail are inferior. I'm talking about the original TV series, Monty Python's Flying Circus.

[Zarn Ishtare]

Your the weasel who started the trend.


Forgive me, but I find you an unworthy opponent. Enjoy facing an inferior foe, because I will not be the one taking Tolkiens side.


I will claim, however, to know more about Lewis than you could quite ever possibly grasp.


Toodles!


With Love,

Zarn.



P.S. Furthermore their is no basis for this sort of arguement. Tolkien helped Lewis towards Christianity; they were good friends for many years. They have different writing styles, different techniques; Tolkien was much more Epic with LOTR and Lewis was much deeper with Screwtape. In the end, C.S. was more prolific, but he never quite captured the truly legendary like Tolkien. And don't say the Chronicles is as good as LOTR; it was written for a different audience in a different theme all-together. To compare the two is like comparing dry wall and music; there is no basis for it.


Now let some lucky mucker come and try to build an argument out of THAT!

[Animus Seed]

This judge will declare Zarn the winner unless Temulin can make a come back in 10...9...8...

[USSRGirl]

Hmmm... is it me... or is Zarn suffering from an extreme case of ignorance? He likes to talk big and boast about 'knowing more about Lewis than anyone' yet I've yet to see him post in the Lewis thread or make so much as a comment above monkey-level. FURTHERMORE... anyone who can not see that a thread titled 'Inklings Mudsling Showdown' is intended for humorous irony of two old, mild mannered British authors duking it out WWF style. YES Zarn... I know that Tolkien and Lewis were friends and Tolkien helped convert Jack to Christianity... this is no revelation for me. I'm not going to jump up, bow down, kiss your toes (UGH! God forbid lest I may contract the ignorance that appears to spreading!) and say 'THANK YOU FOR THAT PIECE OF INSIGHT, GREAT ONE!!! And here I thought the Inklings spent their meetings throwing chairs at one another and snorting in a rather barbaric manner disturbing the rest of the pub's patrons. I could have sworn Lewis' nickname was 'The Rock' and not Jack.'

I'm very busy today and not posting much, but it seems to me that Zarn is desperately starved to assert himself as intelligent, yet lacking the intelligence to see a simple joke. The fact that he signs of 'with love' is down right eerie. :: Grabs a can of pepper spray ::

[mitsuki lover]

I declare Charles Williams the winnah!

[USSRGirl]

I declare Charles Williams the winnah!

Naaah... he doesn't have enough fan support. Wait until he at least gets a movie out filmed in New Zealand.

[Zarn Ishtare]

My dear, you forget, I don't have to prove my intellectual chops: I'm a psuedo-intellectual.

[USSRGirl]

:: Sprays pepper spray in Zarn's eyes ::

Call me "dear" again and thou shalt be regret it eternally.

Your intellect extends about as far as what can be quickly looked up on Wikipedia and MS Word's handy-dandy thesaurus, my 'dear' Wormwood.

[Zarn Ishtare]

I loathe, and I mean, LOATHE wiki and MS word.


All my psuedo-knowledge is accomplished through two semesters of college study, listening to smarter people, online message boards, the hordes and hordes of books that have assaulted my mind over the years, the great amount of intellectual Email I am sent by my betters, and a random smattering of websites that have sharpened my intellect far beyond what I deserve.

Pascal is your Wiki/MS word guy.

[USSRGirl]

o.O So... basically... what you're saying is....

You parrot others?

Hmm... and they teach you big words to say, yet you lack the ability to think outside the mainstream on most anything?

So... if your acknowledged 'betters' tell you Tolkien is brilliant and the mainstream thinks he is... then it must be true right?

Like the parrot-boy/token propaganda puppet of Claptrap before Reason cut his leader to shreds causing a bit of a short circuit. People like you make commies like me happy campers.

[mitsuki lover]

See this is why more people ought to read Charles Williams.

[Zarn Ishtare]

Do not all intellectuals (or Psuedo-Intellectuals) parrot the views of others, the views they are taught are right, or come to by their own conclusions?? Your assertion has no basis in reality, and thus, no meaning. Just another slander tactic.


Please Temmy, stop jumping to conclusions because you enjoy the place of an intellectual sniping at another. I am not an idiot, nor are you. So why the unpleasant attitude?

[Puritan]

Oi, we need to be slightly more couth, people, there's no reason to get angry. Someone dislikes an author and another likes them. I happen to like "Miss Manner's Guide to Excruciatingly Correct Behavior" but that's no reason to get angry at people who find this behavior odd, nor is like or dislike of Tolkien grounds to snipe at each other. Let's just agree to disagree and discuss things on literary merits or move on.

[USSRGirl]

>.>;; I belive Zarn started the name calling to compensate for his lack of anything better to contribute. He turned this thread into a go-for-the-jugular slug-fest instead of an amusing fan face-off (sound like Stan Lee, don't I?). I feel the need to respond.

"Do not all intellectuals (or Psuedo-Intellectuals) parrot the views of others, the views they are taught are right, or come to by their own conclusions?? Your assertion has no basis in reality, and thus, no meaning. Just another slander tactic."

I never said I agreed with 'pop' intellectuals as I call them. Yes, many lemmings learn from other greater lemmings, and learn to parrot their views and gibberish to gain respect and self-affirmation by others. Hmmm... I'm not very concerned with the views the world tells me are 'right' as you put it, or what is commonly taught by the world to be right. That's just plain humanistic rubbish (...had a different word in mind). Truly great minds fight the tide and form their own beliefs, not starvingly seeking the approval of others as you seem to. So... if the mainstream says a blank canvas is wonderfully evocative art... then you'd pretty much go along with it just to parrot your pseudo-intellectual friends? Hmmm... exactly like the 'Clevers' of Pilgrim's Regress.

[JasonPratt]

Oi, we need to be slightly more couth, people, there's no reason to get angry. Someone dislikes an author and another likes them. I happen to like "Miss Manner's Guide to Excruciatingly Correct Behavior" but that's no reason to get angry at people who find this behavior odd, nor is like or dislike of Tolkien grounds to snipe at each other. Let's just agree to disagree and discuss things on literary merits or move on.

(Actually, they're doing it for fun. I think. )

This judge would be inclined to give Zarn the edge at least on rhetoric ('comparing dry-wall to music!'), except that the mud-slinging has long since moved away from the actual topic into attacks on each other. FOOLS! YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO BE CRITIQUING THE AUTHORS UNDER THE GUISE OF AMUSING HYPERBOLIC BANTER! {balefulling glaring with full balefulness!}

I think the main problem is that no one is going to want to crit Lewis at the same level as Temmy's original crit of Tolkien (outside LotR). Even Zarn's put-down (dry-wall is kind of a put down {g}) was delivered in the context of the pointlessness of comparing two completely different things.


Besides, no crit of Tolkien's work (in LotR or out of it) could be as devestating as the Inklings' themselves, who reportedly got _very_ tired of it (except for Lewis). Hugo Dyson was reportedly wont to snarl, "Oh, f---, not another elf!"

[USSRGirl]

O.O My, my. And I thought these were proper critics!! Hugo appears to be one step above mudslinging himself (Really. WHAT WOULD YOUR MOTHER SAY?!).

And the communist party scoffs at your baleful glares of balefulness. At least I'm keeping within using Lewis reference is my all-out verbal strike on Ishtare. Of course, Zarn would never crit Lewis as harshly as I did Tolkien. He's too much of a wimp to have a strong opinion on anything. :: Throws a chair at Zarn ::

[mitsuki lover]

I'm not voting for anyone until either one states wheter or not they've read any
Charles Williams.

[Animus Seed]

As per usual, I agree with Mr. Pratt. As for the Inklings' criticism of each other, Tolkien himself didn't care for Narnia, either. Tolkien hated allegory.

But I digress...

*blows judge whistle* double-foul, Temmy and Zarn. This is supposed to be Tolkien vs. Lewis. You guys can fight in the Goof-off forum. Besides, there's not really that much of a point in personal attacks yet when we don't actually have anyone officially representing Tolkien. ^_^