Lost and Found- my webmanga

[dying2live4Him]

hi Okay I wanted everyone to see my new webmanga and tell me what I need to do.. critique me... please! I want to get good at this

It's called Lost and Found and will have christian undertones

[dying2live4Him]

^^okay above is page 2, page 1 and the front cover (from left to right)

here are the links for page 3 and 4

page 3: http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v319/Follow_His_Lead/Laf2draftrevisd.jpg

Page 4: http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v319/Follow_His_Lead/Laf3.jpg

[uc pseudonym]

Art isn't my thing, but there are some basic suggestions for improvement.

Page 1: This is an unusual way to start something. There's nothing wrong with being avant garde, but why did you choose to do it this way? Also, I believe you have a typo in the lower right bit of text.

Page 2: Did you choose the angle and scope of the second panel because drawing a person falling is hard? That's a fairly common difficulty for artists. If not, though, a panel in mid-fall would make the page read much smoother.

Page 3: This one flows pretty well, actually. I'm not completely certain what you mean by the third panel, which threw me.

Page 4: If the first panel was panned further back it would make the new character's introduction seem more natural. Right now she just appears. The last bit is also paneled a bit odd: I definitely didn't see the "dash" panel until the very end. Try to plan things so that readers' eyes naturally follow the panels in order. This page is fairly entertaining, though. Not too overstated.