I Need Some Help

[PokettoKunoichi]

I've recently been having those moments where your spirit starts to cry, and it always gives me the urge to cry physically. I try to keep it inside, but sometimes it escapes. I'm crying from confusion.

You see, my life is really spent on the computer. I know that this will fit in the category of "Sloth" for the Seven Deadly Sins, which is not enjoying God's love and happiness. When God says this, does that mean being social is what truly draws you closer to God? Oh, the reason for this isbecause I only have friends in school, no "best" friends, so there's really no point of me going outside. There are kids in my neighborhood (I'm 13), but they don't share my love for anime. I do want to go outside and have fun and give food to the less fortunate, but the problem is, I'm not really allowed to go out, so I can't do that.

Another problem is is that sometimes I think my life is not good enough for God. Sitting all day and such. And when going outside, all I really do is daydream and just talk to family members. Right now, I'm trying to get myself into the habit of reading through some passages of the Bible every night and praying before I go to sleep and praying in my head throughout the day. I've also found a site where you can click to help stop world suffering, so I try to make it a habit to click those every morning. But then, I think that God will say that I don't spend enough time with him. When you're happy doing godly things, such as having fun in general, being social, helping the poor, and such, does that count as spending time with God as well? I think that God is going to say something about something about not living for him and such, and then I get so worried. I know there's a scripture that says don't worry and just trust in God, for he does not ignore those who depend on Him.

Then I worry that if I do finally gain a social life and have fun all the time, He's going to say that I should be giving to charity instead of that or sitting in my room thinking. I will give to charity once I have money, making it a regular part of life, something weekly or like that. I know that helping those less fortunate also means helping God. But I worry that he'll say that I'm not giving everything which means that I am greedy and selfish, but I try to tell myself at least I'm giving and showing that I care... And would obsessing over anime characters with your friends be sinful? Such as saying so-and-so is so hot, without having lustful thoughts?

If you have this huge hobby, such as cosplaying or roller skating, and doing it all the time, does that mean it rules over God? Or does He mean by following His scriptures and not cursing over everything and just being a godly person in general, though you do this hobby all the time? And how about cursing? I know that The Bible says evil words come from an evil mouth, but what if you're not placing it in random places, or cursing at other people, but instead using it to describe things that are really messed up? Such as describing cruelty to animals?

And how about pride? Is it okay to feel important, but know that you're life is no valuable than others? Such as I feel special when I impress others, but I tell myself my life is no more valuable than theirs.

I'm just so confused!

[Roxas2210]

I know how you feel, and I spend the better part of my day on the computer. I take all my classes online and all my friends are online, so I know how you feel when you dont want to go outside and play with all the other kids your age.

I believe that if you worship Him with all your heart every day, do the right things (like charity and not cursing), and love the people around you and help them when they need it. Call up your friends every once and a while and ask them how everything is going and build strong relationships with them, but having Christ at the head of that. Just remember to put God at the head of everything you do and worship him in all your ways. Read the Bible as often as possible (at home, in school during the appropriat time, with your family and friends).

I probably shouldnt be the one telling you all this because I am far from a godly man, but I try my hardest, even when I slip and fall. God is always there to help me up and brush me off. He will be there for you to help you up when you fall and to brush you off when you are dirty.

I hope my ramblings helped you in any way. Just remeber to keep God at the head of everything you do, no matter what, and you will do the right thing.

Yours

Roxas

[PokettoKunoichi]

Thank you for your help! ^_^ I'm feeling much better now. Instead of sitting in my room all day I went to a place where my family is often at so now I feel much better. Also since I helped them.

[Kunoichi]

Poketto,

while i am far from knowing the answers i can only answer from what i feel is accurate:

Just because you aren't out there saving the world does not mean that God is not smiling on you. In fact, doing the "small hard things" like cleaning your room, obeying your parents, not cursing, not drinking excessivelly and etc. can start to build muscle for those bigger things. So don't think just because you aren't going door to door with the Gospel that God will say that you haven't done anything with your life.

As for being more social, that would depend on you definition. Are you thinking of just making friends (cuz that can be done online as well) or going outside of your house (which is recommended time to time). God will provide chances for you to serve him in your day to day and even in your hobbies (like rollerblading).

You had mentioned that you were concerned that if you had something you were really interested in, if that was putting it above God. In my opinion, its not. In fact, it can be used as a great way to meet ppl you have common things with and be a witness of Christ to them. Hobbies or really anything can turn into an idol and set above God if you let it (I have done that with work to where that was my God. And i was letting God fall to the wayside....praise God not anymore).

God is with you Poketto. As long as you seek him, he will direct your paths. And I think the fact you are reading alittle of his Word each night. Is a great start!

God bless,

PM me if you need anything

Kunoichi

[Sailor Kenshin]

I'm almost there---listing my occupation as Mouse Potato. But the solitary, contemplative life is something God approves of as well.

Is your time spent online wasted, or are you actually a positive influence there? Only you and God can figure that out. Ganbatte.

[Sheenar]

Friends-wise, maybe you can meat some people at your local church?

"That, my dear children is called cannibalism and is frowned upon in most societies." ---Sorry, just had to....

Back on topic, I understand how you feel. I'm kind of a loner sometimes myself.

Meeting people at church is an excellent start. Also, are there any other kids from your school who maybe are loners as well? Maybe you could befriend them--then you both would have somebody (it's summer, I know--but maybe a thought for when school starts again).

I really enjoy just going outside and walking (when the weather permits it). Is there perhaps a local park?

The question of whether you should spend less time online is between you and God. Pray and ask Him to reveal to you the honest truth and to give you the strength to follow through. It may not be immediately, but God will show you what you need to do.

If you ever need/want to talk, feel free to PM me. As a bit of an outsider myself, I understand how lonely it can be sometimes.

[Tsukuyomi]

Sometimes crying is ok ^__^ Maybe crying will help you find what you're crying out for Not sure if that made any sense, but you should try it instead of holding it all inside

As for making friends, I agree, you should just go out and maybe walk around your block You're bound to meet someone on one of those walks

[Sailor Kenshin]

Sometimes crying is ok ^__^ Maybe crying will help you find what you're crying out for Not sure if that made any sense, but you should try it instead of holding it all inside

AMEN!