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Does this series have potential???

PostPosted: Fri Apr 05, 2013 4:08 pm
by Red_web_city
As children play the game "Red light, green light, 1, 2, 3" they ran in the playground of a school yard where what appears to be a drunken homeless man sleeping on one of the benches. He was holding what appeared to be an empty bottle in a brown paper bag, and his arm dangled almost letting go of it. " Red light, green light, 1, 2, 3 a child yells, and as he turned around to see who he could spot moving the bottle fell from the mans hand, and all of a sudden it stood still in mid air. What was even more strange was that everything else around the school yard appeared to remain still as if frozen, even the birds in the air. At that very moment a strong wind passed swishing the dead leaves around, and what appeared to be the sky opening up above the children made a thundering noise. What looked like a body made of a bright light suddenly jumped down, and what appeared to be a red light blinked on his metallic green helmet. He appeared to have been chasing someone, and when he ran towards the homeless man, a dark shadowy figure jumped out of the bottle, and began to shrink as it ran away from the hunter. It appeared the closer he got to the shadowy creature the smaller it became until he made a circular gesture with his right hand, and a what appeared to be a portal releasing flames opened up on the ground before the shadow could run any further. The creature stood crying in as if pleading with the hunter, and the hunter rebuked it with words in a mysterious language. " Be cast down!!!", he shouted after he pointed his finger towards the ground. The shadow instantly vanished as if teleported downward into the fiery realm. As the portal closed up he moved like a breeze towards the homeless man, and gently touched his forehead as his hand glowed brighter. He then slowly looked up towards the sky as his forehead shone a white light that appeared to have opened up the portal above the children, and he ascended into the portal as it closed up behind him. As soon as it closed all the children, birds, and gym teachers began moving again as if nothing ever occured.

Re: Does this series have potential???

PostPosted: Fri Apr 05, 2013 4:14 pm
by Red_web_city
Heres how the hunter looked
https://www.evernote.com/shard/s279//sh ... eb0e4075df

Thank you for your honesty

Re: Does this series have potential???

PostPosted: Fri Apr 05, 2013 4:23 pm
by goldenspines
Everything has some sort of potential, it all depends what you do with it.

Since you seem to be a rather prolific writer, it may be best to keep all your works organized and less confusing for people trying to read and comment on them. Currently, they are scattered everywhere in the writing forum and take on the appearance of spam because there are so many threads with similar names. I suggest just having one thread for yourself in the writing section from now on to update with all your writing works. Either that, or stick with one project to ask for feedback on because everything you are posting is way too overwhelming to expect feedback on all or it.

Re: Does this series have potential???

PostPosted: Fri Apr 05, 2013 4:53 pm
by Red_web_city
Sounds reasonable, thanks