CAA: Christian Anime Alliance

Not one of my normal poems, to be sure.....

"Of Peace"


A little land of dreams awaits.
In it you doze and configure
The length of the stars,
the memories of the past.
Lying there, helpless,
Yet enjoying one moment
Of peace.

Peace leaves your little hand,
And a nightmare ensues,
Bringing with it chaos,
Explosions,blood,death,
Screams of pain, of danger,
Bad weather and bad neighbors.
You grasp for what had once
Been peace.

Now pain is numerous, little sands
Of burning passion gone wrong.
No longer asleep, the dream
Is a dream, the nightmare,
A reality of desperate pleas
For help, for comfort, for saving.
Stripped, cold, and naked,
You wish you were alone.
But evil still lingers all over,
And you are still lying there screaming
For peace.

-Crash Metallium
6-19-06

A sad message. Nevertheless, you describe it well. I have one question. When you say

Now pain is numerous, little sands
Of burning passion gone wrong.
Are you referring to grains of sand?

yes. why?

I would suggest saying "grains of sand" instead of "little sands" so that your meaning is more clear and flows better.

but then it wouldn't fit the word scheme of the first two stanzas

I assume that you mean the rhythm, in which case I would say that the second stanza does not quite fit.

Lol.