The Tale of How I met My Husband
As Told to D. Morris
As Told to D. Morris
The night was crystal clear, and though there was a slight breeze, was for the most part peaceful. Happiness floated on the wind as leaves in fall, and the air seemed filled with love. Why should it not be? This was the Festival of Hearts after all!! My heart seemed to be the only lonely one as I walked the clean and decorated streets. All around me there were people kissing and even the animals had found a special someone with which to spend the evening.
Walking down Main Street, I pretended that I had someone to talk to, just like everyone else. He was tall and handsome, eloquent, and very happy to be with me. . So busy was my mind in creating this fantasy. I didn’t see the mob chasing after a young Elf until I crashed into the elf, causing him to stumble. Soon after he fell, the mob was upon both of us with a vengeance that was more malicious then a murderer who kills for sport. They beat him, berated him, and yelled horrid things about how they would kill him. At first I backed off, not wanting them all to turn on me. But before long I was angry with what I saw, and angry or not I knew that I could take this mob out with a few well placed hits even if I was drunk.
Quietly I walked behind the mob, the echoes of my barely audible footsteps lost in the yelling. Picking one of the ones I thought would be sure to yell like he’d been gored by a bull, a tall skinny one, I leaped with all the grace of a tiger and smashed full power into his posterior, which due to the fact that he was bending over was quite a nice target. True to form he yelled with such a voice that even a siren, which can be heard by all men at all times, would be drowned out. “Ye Stinkin’ Chit!!!! Ye’ve no business here. Be off with ye before I teach ye a lesson ye shall never forget!â€
