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*deep sigh*

Postby CobaltAngel » Thu Oct 30, 2003 7:37 pm

Er... I might post so chapters of an original story I've been working on for serval years now, and I wrote a couple chapters last year. But they're not very good. And I'm working on the next chapter right now. But its going slow. I don't have as much free time as I did when I was in middle school.
:rant:

So, my question is: would you guys mind that the first chapters aren't very good as long as I promise to work very, very hard on the newer ones?
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Invisible Children || Justice For Children






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Postby Lochaber Axe » Thu Oct 30, 2003 7:52 pm

How are we supposed to now if they are good or bad if you don't post them? If you would like someone to proofread them for you, I could be of assistance.
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Postby true_noir_chloe » Thu Oct 30, 2003 7:53 pm

Of course, please write. If you've been working on it for several years you need to start writing, let the muse take control. (I don't really believe in muses, but it sounds good. ;) )

[size=84][color=seagreen]YOU SEE


You see into the deepest part of me ---

beyond the fog I hide behind.

You cast your light upon the shadows

that stretch like cobwebs in my mind.

You ease the pain when I am hurting,

and morbid visions from my past

pierce into the realm of Reason

as though I danced on blades of glass.

You grant me strength when I have fallen

and, once again, I've lost my way.

You take my hand in Yours and lead me

into the promise of a brand new day.

You bring order to all my chaos,

yet set my well-laid plans awry.

You place me on a firm foundation ---

then give me wings so I can fly.

You sand away my roughened edges

and polish all the dullest parts

until I stand before Your presence...

a newly-sculpted work of art.

You see into the heart within me,

right through my motives and selfish will.

And yet, in spite of all You see

You say You love me even still.


~by D.M.~

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Postby ShiroiHikari » Thu Oct 30, 2003 7:58 pm

Post some stuff! ^_^ I'm not a very good critic but I'll do what I can...
fightin' in the eighties
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Postby CobaltAngel » Fri Oct 31, 2003 3:59 am

Yes, any help for revisions would be great. *crosses fingers* Here goes...
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