Creed4 Poems

[faithfighter]

wow creed awesome job! I really like The Path to Life!! so true and so wonderfully put!
God bless
~Zooky~

[creed4]

thanks

[creed4]

Here a recent one I wrote it after hearing a Michael Card song on the radio


Until the Heart Quakes

Until the Heart Quakes
At the sound of His voice.
Until the heart breaks,
To let the King enter.
Until the heart opens
And the King comes in
One can not hear
The song began.

Silent our voice
Sounds as we rage
Silent the song
As we run away
Silent we stay
Till we look His way.
For the song does not start
Till the King has his say.

Once the King has come
The Son takes his first cord.
Once the King starts
The cord takes to life
Once the King enters
Freedom begins
And the song of joy
Real life begins.

[Anna Mae]

"Once the King has comes"
Subject-verb agreement.

"The son takes its first cord."
As in Jesus?

Good poem. I especially like the first stanza's emphasis on brokenness and humility.

[creed4]

thanks

[creed4]

I've always loved the idea of the lighthouse, this is a recent attempt at putting it to words


Lighthouse

The traveler at sea
Lost in the night
Headed for shore
Fearful of rock
That will lead him athunder.
Then out of the mist
A blast of pure light
Illuminating the path
Guiding him home.

King of all time
You are the one
Whose light leads us home
Illuminating the shore
So we can sail safely on.
Like the lighthouse of old
You are our beacon
Leading us to the Father.
Shining the path, leading on
Safely to the harbor of the Lord.

[Anna Mae]

I can perfectly see this on a Hallmark card with a picturesque painting/photo in the background.

[creed4]

Is that good or bad?

[Anna Mae]

Good.

[creed4]

Thanks, sorry I ask there are different opions on halmark. I'm gald you like it.

[Anna Mae]

Do you dislike Hallmark?

[creed4]

No, but there has been debate to weather people like it or not

[creed4]

Here is another peom

What Did I Hear

What did I hear?
Is that you coming near
What did I see
A blast from east to west
You coming for me.

I look to the sky
Dwelling on that moment
When the sky opens
And you step through
Taking men home

What did I hear?
Is that you coming near
What did I see
A blast from east to west
You coming for me.

Ever since the day
You died, hand nailed wide
And you rose again
You set a place
For me and all I bring
I look for you to come


What did I hear?
Is that you coming near
What did I see
A blast from east to west
You coming for me.

I wait for you
An Expecting heart,
for you to come.
And take me there
I look to the sky
And be gone in a twinkling of the eye
Forever by your side.

[Anna Mae]

What Did I Hear

What did I hear?
Is that you coming near
What did I see
A blast from east to west
You coming for me.

I look to the sky
Dwelling on that moment
When the sky opens
And you step through
Taking men home

What did I hear?
Is that you coming near
What did I see
A blast from east to west
You coming for me.

Ever sense the day
"Since"

You died, hand nailed wide
And you rose again
You set a place
For me and all I bring
I look for you to come


What did I hear?
Is that you coming near
What did I see
A blast from east to west
You coming for me.

I wait for you
Expecting heart, for you to come.

The way you have it here makes it sound like Jesus is the expecting heart. I presume that this is not what you intended.

And take me there
I look to the sky
And be gone in a twinkling of the eye
Forever by your side.

Consider adding more punctuation to clarify your message and make the poem more readable. Also think about revising some of your tenses.

This poem is interesting whether read with the assuption of your death or with some current Revelation theologies.

[creed4]

Maranatha! What a Glorous Day
When He cames
To Reign
The Curse Will end
And We'll Glorify Him
The Lord Of All
The King.
Matanatha!
Come Lord Jesus

[creed4]

Thank you, I'm sorry I replied with a poem, It all that could burst from my heart for a second. I put some changes in.

[Anna Mae]

That's perfectly alright. Sometimes spontaneous poetry is some of the best.

[creed4]

Thanks. I love to write spontanously.

[creed4]

I'm going to yall a sample from one of my longer pieces about the prodigul son. This is part one. tell me what ya'll think

The Son’s Rebellion

I can’t bare
this misery
stifled by these
surroundings.
Longing from this place
to leave.
Yet trapped in this travesty
A slave to my father hand,
and nothing to this land.
My heart long to leave,
from my
captivity.

I know what I must do,
take what’s mine, and
leave.
And go to where
they will accept me.
So to my father
I will go
Demand my inheritance
and leave.

[creed4]

This is one of my long poem It was written when I was in High School I hope Ya'll Like it

What I have to say
I said it a long time ago
I said it when
I started down this road.
Back then I was hurting
I was in pain
But when I said I'll follow
I found a way
Through the pain.

So I said I'd follow
Till my dying day
That what I plain to do
Till God takes me away.
I will follow Jesus
Till my dying day.

So choose this day who will you serve
Will it be the world
Or will it be the
Lord most High.
But as for me
I will take my stand
I will serve
The Lord most high.
I will follow Him,
Follow Him forever
Through a darken land.
That's what I
Have to say.

I started down this road
Many years ago.
A young lad I was,
All I cared about was me
But when God touch my heart
I found a different me
Now I was
Full of love
Now I was full of Joy
And a peace
A peace so large
It passes
All I could conceive

Now I say dear Lord Jesus
Take my soul
Take my heart as well
Take control of my mind
Fill my thought with you
Till you is what they see
See in this wretch of a man
Now take my life
Let it be used
Used to show you.
These thing that I've have kept
Close to me
Are no longer mine
They are yours Jesus.

Now I see people hurting
I see how much they
Need his love.
So then I must go
To these hurting hearts.
Armed with God's love
To show them a better way,
I work to meet their need
To show them what
Love can do
When a heart is open
To allow him
To move.

I go through the land
With a servants heart
As a messenger I go
To tell them
Of the Gospel
The good news of grace
Of the love in the heart
Of a loving God
What he did for a sinful race
Who did not seek his face.
It's a message of peace
It's a message of grace
It's love's message
God's gift to you.


Now time is running out.
The sand is almost gone
The spring is winding down
Soon we will be call into the air
We will be with Christ
For all Eternity.
But before I go out
I want to bring as many as I can with me.

[Anna Mae]

The Son’s Rebellion

I can’t bare
this misery
stifled by these
surroundings.
Longing from this place
to leave.
Yet trapped in this travesty
A slave to my father hand,
and nothing to this land.
My heart long to leave,
from my
captivity.

I know what I must do,
take what’s mine, and
leave.
And go to where
they will accept me.
So to my father
I will go
Demand my inheritance
and leave.

Interesting. I look forward to part two.

[Anna Mae]

What I have to say
I said it a long time ago
I said it when
I started down this road.
Back then I was hurting
I was in pain
But when I said I'll follow
I found a way
Through the pain.

So I said I'd follow
Till my dying day
That what I plain to do Ixnay on the "i" in "plan"
Till God takes me away.
I will follow Jesus
Till my dying day.

So choose this day who will you serve
Will it be the world
Or will it be the
Lord most High.
But as for me
I will take my stand
I will serve
The Lord most high.
I will follow Him,
Follow Him forever
Through a darken land.
That's what I
Have to say.

I started down this road
Many years ago.
A young lad I was,
All I cared about was me
But when God touch my heart "touched"
I found a different me
Now I was
Full of love
Now I was full of Joy
And a peace
A peace so large
It passes
All I could conceive

Now I say dear Lord Jesus
Take my soul
Take my heart as well
Take control of my mind
Fill my thought with you
Till you is what they see
See in this wretch of a man was the repetition of "see" intentional?
Now take my life
Let it be used
Used to show you.
These thing that I've have kept
Close to me
Are no longer mine
They are yours Jesus.

Now I see people hurting
I see how much they
Need his love.
So then I must go
To these hurting hearts.
Armed with God's love
To show them a better way,
I work to meet their need
To show them what
Love can do
When a heart is open
To allow him
To move.

I go through the land
With a servants heart
As a messenger I go
To tell them
Of the Gospel
The good news of grace
Of the love in the heart
Of a loving God
What he did for a sinful race
Who did not seek his face.
It's a message of peace
It's a message of grace
It's love's message
God's gift to you.


Now time is running out.
The sand is almost gone
The spring is winding down
Soon we will be call into the air "called"
We will be with Christ
For all Eternity.
But before I go out
I want to bring as many as I can with me.

Very good. I love the attitude that it expresses! Those last couple of sentences are thoughts that I've been having recently. "Where am I going? Heaven, and I'm taking as many people with me as possible." I really like this poem. I can connect with it.

[creed4]

Thank you
Here is part two of the Prodical Son Saga


The Father’s Tears

I stare down,
this road ahead,
longing for the face of one
who left
long ago.
My heart breaks, the farther he runs.
when will he come home.

The tears fall
as I wait.
My son come home.
My longing is intense.
My heart long-suffering.
I cry the longer your gone.
Where are you my son?
I don’t care where you’ve been.
I’ll forgive the wrong.
I love you more
then these pains.

As I stare down
the road ahead
my longing grows
Son, come home..........

[creed4]

Here is part three, and most likely the oldest part

The Prodigal

I am the prodigal son
I wondered far from my home.
I am the prodigal son
oh why oh why did I roam!

My wandering, Has left me empty,
My friends left me broke,
Broke and abandoned,
now all the clothes I have are rags.
Pigs are my friends,
Their slop is my food
oh why do I
Live like this,
when my father’s servants
get much better than this.
I know what I must do
I will return to my father’s house
and ask to be his slave.

Yet as I came down
the road to home
a great distance I was
I saw him running towards me
This is the first time I ever saw him run.
I fell to my knees
and cried out to him.

[Anna Mae]

The Father’s Tears

I stare down,
this road ahead,
longing for the face of one
who left
long ago.
My heart breaks, the farther he runs.
when will he come home.

The tears fall
as I wait.
My son come home.
My longing is intense.
My heart long-suffering.
I cry the longer your gone. It should be "you're" as in "you are."
Where are you my son?
I don’t care where you’ve been.
I’ll forgive the wrong.
I love you more
then these pains.

As I stare down
the road ahead
my longing grows
Son, come home..........


Very good. I feel that it portrays God's longing 'to gather his children like a hen gathers her chicks under her wings' well.

[Anna Mae]

Here is part three, and most likely the oldest part
What do you mean by that?

The Prodigal

I am the prodigal son,
I wondered far from my home. "Wandered" instead of "wondered"
I am the prodigal son,
oh why oh why did I roam!

My wandering, Has left me empty, Any particular reason that you have 'has' capitalized?
My friends left me broke,
Broke and abandoned,
now all the clothes I have are rags.
Pigs are my friends,
Their slop is my food
oh why do I
Live like this,
when my father’s servants
get much better than this. Punctuate this with a question mark instead of a period.
I know what I must do Punctuation here would be good.
I will return to my father’s house
and ask to be his slave.

Yet as I came down
the road to home,
at great distance I was,
I saw him running towards me.
This is the first time I ever saw him run.
I fell to my knees
and cried out to him.

Good. The switch in perspective from the father to the son is interesting. I especially like the end when the son falls on his knees and cries out to the father.

[creed4]

That was the first part of the pome I wrote. I wrote the Prodigal First, Then I wrote The Son's Cry which is next and The Father's cry which would be part five. Then a few years later I added the frist two parts and after urging from my mom I wrote a part for the older brother and a responce by the father bringing this to a seven part poem.

[creed4]

Here is part four

The Son’s Cry

Didn’t you say
this road I chose
would only lead to pain
Didn’t you say
This path I’m going on
would only lead to death and gloom
Didn’t you say
leaving home
would only leave me broken
and destroyed

Now I am kneeling before you
asking to be your slave.
Now I stand alone and afraid
the one who has wronged you
deserving nothing
crying before
make me your servant.

But what do you do
you pick up my head
hold me in your arms
I told you so
is what I expected
but what I heard is the last thing
I could Imagine
would come from your lips.

You cried son Welcome home.
You threw me a party
I cry, No don’t give me this honor
I disobeyed, I squandered your wealth.
All you say is
Son you’re still my son
no matter what you have done
I still love you.
--------------------------------------
So what do people think about these poems I would love to hear some input, on any way I could make them better.

[creed4]

This is part 5 of the prodigal saga
Please if you have some thoughts tell me, I am trying to impove these poem any comment will help.

The Father’s Cry

Son why do you ask
to be my slave
when your my son forever
Don’t you know that
every moment you were gone
you were dead, to me
and every night you were gone
I go to my room
I shed tears for you.
But When I saw you coming down the road.
The dead man inside this shell
returned to life
for now the son I have lost
is now here
before me
and now what is there left to do
except rejoice
For now the son who was dead
has returned to life
The past is now gone
it is behind us
For what you done
can never change
the love I have for you
Oh yes it can never change
the love

[Anna Mae]

I must apologize for my long absence. The place where I got my internet access has blocked everything that has anything to do with anime, so I am really struggling to get on CAA.

The Son's Cry is good, but more punctuation would make it flow more easily. I like the way you portray the sorrow, the amazement, and the humility of realizing that we don't deserve God's grace.

The Father's Cry
More punctuation would improve this one as well.

Son why do you ask
to be my slave
when you're my son forever
Don’t you know that
every moment you were gone
you were dead, to me
and every night you were gone
I went/would go to my room
I shed tears for you.
But then I saw you coming down the road.
The dead man inside this shell
returned to life
for now the son I have lost
is now here
before me
and now what is there left to do
except rejoice
For now the son who was dead
has returned to life
The past is now gone
it is behind us
For what you done
can never change
the love I have for you
Oh yes it can never change
the love

Good conclusion. I like how it ties the works together and ends with what everything is all about- love.