Dragonslayer

Unleash your creative writing skills here.

Postby Razgriz » Mon Dec 08, 2003 6:23 pm

Much thanks, I appreciate it. : D
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Postby Mimichan » Mon Dec 08, 2003 9:10 pm

very cool!...I think you the concept you have is very creative. If only we could turn it into a video game--I would love to play this! *shrugs* maybe it's just me..but I think it'd make a cool first person type game..like Deus ex or Half Life..hmm.....with multiplayer option for those who want it. Of course, the Dragon Slayer would be the "BAD" guy *ahem* -_-
Anyway, great job. I'm looking forward to reading more soon.
Image


"Why do people not notice until they lose it?
What it is that's truly important...
Although I can't afford to forgive even myself,
Because you were there,
I was able to be myself (Natural).
I want to be honest...I want to be kind...
I want to be the adult I once (in my childhood) longed to be.
I go on fighting against the heart to run away...
I go on fighting against that invisible something!"
---

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Postby Razgriz » Mon Dec 08, 2003 9:24 pm

Thanks : D...Though it was designed to be more of an anime, but could also work as a manga I guess.
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Postby Lochaber Axe » Tue Dec 09, 2003 4:25 am

Maybe I should write a story about Nether?


I do need to finish Meledriel first, however.
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Postby Razgriz » Tue Dec 09, 2003 8:35 am

Starting on Nether's story will be quite fascinating, I think it'll be interesting to see the world that he's in.

I'd want you to finish Meledriel first because you've already started on it, I want to see it resolved, can't leave it hanging. :thumbs:
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Postby Danyasaur » Tue Dec 09, 2003 10:34 am

Iesu_no_Senshi wrote:If only we could turn it into a video game--I would love to play this! *shrugs* maybe it's just me..but I think it'd make a cool first person type game..like Deus ex or Half Life..hmm.....with multiplayer option for those who want it. Of course, the Dragon Slayer would be the "BAD" guy *ahem* -_-
Anyway, great job. I'm looking forward to reading more soon.


YEA! it could play like Metroid Prime! :sweat: exept with katanas and guns!
[color="DimGray"]I don't believe that I would die if I saw you face to face;
but that my spirit would become so alive it took my body's place.

- Danya[/color]
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Postby kaze » Tue Dec 09, 2003 6:48 pm

Great story! the action is really clear and exciting, and i like the script format. I'd definately want to see an anime version also. ^^

lol Victoria Degretti is cool, she likes ramen...*goes off to look for miso ramen*
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Postby Razgriz » Tue Dec 09, 2003 7:02 pm

Thanks, : D an anime version would be cool, time to invest in some really expensive software, lol.

Miso ramen...never tried it before, lol. I've never played Metroid Prime either, don't have a GC, lol
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Postby Icarus » Tue Dec 09, 2003 8:39 pm

Sangoku wrote:. I've never played Metroid Prime either, don't have a GC, lol


This is beside the point, but Metroid is one of the reasons that I want a Game Cube.

Cool story.:thumb:
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Postby Razgriz » Tue Dec 09, 2003 10:21 pm

Icarus wrote:This is beside the point, but Metroid is one of the reasons that I want a Game Cube.

Cool story.:thumb:


Thanks, I'm probably going to get a GC for Baten Kaitos...as well as Metroid of course, lol. : D
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Postby Danyasaur » Wed Dec 10, 2003 5:40 pm

don't forget smash bros, and soul calibur, and joe sombody, and animal crossing, and. . . . . . ^_^" heh, heh, sry for the rambling, continue.
[color="DimGray"]I don't believe that I would die if I saw you face to face;
but that my spirit would become so alive it took my body's place.

- Danya[/color]
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Postby Razgriz » Thu Dec 11, 2003 11:30 am

*****


Four Lockheed Martin “Blue Eagleâ€
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Postby Razgriz » Thu Dec 11, 2003 11:30 am

*****

Zeriel: Huaaaaaa!!!

Geist: Zaaaahhhhhh!!!!

The two warrior’s swords clashed with fury as they met each others blades several times before Zeriel delivered a roundhouse kick to Geist’s stomach, sending it stumbling back. The kick did only agitate Geist as it countered by sword rushing Zeriel with its other hand pushing on the spine of the blade. This caused a tremendous amount of force to be produced, and when it was blocked by Zeriel with his katana, he flew back into a hard landing on the ground.

Not wasting a second, Geist followed up with a jump towards Zeriel and spun his sword in his hand to make the blade face the ground. Zeriel’s eyes went wide as he saw Geist coming down toward him. Turing his head slightly to the side, Zeriel evaded the sword as it stabbed through his silver hair and into the ground next to his face, causing a few flakes of his hair to float in the air.

Zeriel blasted himself off of the ground with his Aeon power and spun like a huge buzz saw blade with his katana, slashing through the air. Unprepared by Zeriel’s sudden move, several sword slashes made its mark in Geist’s chests with illuminating sparks, and created deep gashes. Landing on his feet, Zeriel charged towards Geist, swiping his sword from right to left, and left to right, with Geist parrying both times. Geist retreated back as Zeriel continued his assault with right to left, left to right, and 360 degree spinning slashes. The attacks started to deteriorate Geist’s technique as he parried, causing it to lose balance. Needing a different change of tactics to gain the advantage, Zeriel brought his sword behind him and launched a devastating downward chop with his katana following a spinning slice. Unfortunately, the attack missed as Geist dodged aside, the katana biting into a giant metal support beam instead.

Geist immediately turned the table on Zeriel and slashed, causing Zeriel to release his grip on the stuck katana in order to dodge the blade. Seeing that Zeriel is weaponless, Geist launched his offensive, spinning his sword in a forward figure-eight in one hand, charging with blaring speed at Zeriel. Zeriel retreated and tried to defend himself by using a telekinetic blast with his Aeon powers, but to no avail, Geist was too concentrated in its efforts to be knocked off balance, and his relentless assault with his ninja-to caused a few cuts on Zeriel in the process. Seeing that Geist allowed no opening, Zeriel took a risk.

Timing just after Geist finished one of his sword spin, Zeriel countered with a spinning backhand punch. The attack connected on its face and sent Geist disoriented for but only a second, and that second was all that Zeriel needed. Jumping into the air, Zeriel executed a perfect back flip kick with both of his feet on Geist’s jaw, sending Geist arcing its torso back from the force of the blow. Then, Zeriel blasted himself off of the ground even further with his powers, and kicked off of one of the support beams behind him, diving past Geist and to his sword. Ripping his katana out of the support beam, Zeriel spun around to face Geist and stepped back into a tail stance with his sword down at his side, the blade diagonally pointed toward the ground behind him. Geist turned around nonchalantly and spun his ninja-to in his hand, showing off.

Geist: “You’re good, Dragonslayer, but it’s too late…they’re already here.â€
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Postby Razgriz » Thu Dec 11, 2003 11:36 am

Lockheed Martin Aerial Armored Personnel Carrier (AAPC or APC)
Primary Function: airborne armored personnel carrier
Secondary Function: support gunship
Speed: 450 mph
Ceiling: 25,000ft
Crew: 2 (pilot/gunner and co-pilot/gunner)
Transportation space: 1 fully equipped platoon (30-40men)
Weaponry: (2) M60 machine gun (nose, built in), wing mounted hardpoints (4, 2 on each wing. Capable of carrying bombs, missiles, rocket pods, fuel pods, gun pods, etc)
Range: 480miles
Date deployed: 2147


Dimitri Luchenkov
Age: 49
Hair: short white
Eyes: light brown
Height: 6'
Profession: Commander of the Federal Police Agency, precinct 118
Description: A tall and well built man with a grey moustache, wearing typically his blue FPA uniform.
Equipment: Anything he wants from the precinct
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Postby Danyasaur » Thu Dec 11, 2003 11:54 am

*clap, clap, clap* oooooooo yes! I must know what happens next!
[color="DimGray"]I don't believe that I would die if I saw you face to face;
but that my spirit would become so alive it took my body's place.

- Danya[/color]
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Postby true_noir_chloe » Thu Dec 11, 2003 6:39 pm

I'm glad I finally read this section. I like Degretti. I hope you did't kill her off already. *sad face*

I also had a comment on her gun. I'm not sure if you meant for her to really be toting a Heckler & Koch USP .45. All the female cops I've known carry 9mm or .40's. It's only because women's hands are smaller. When I used to shoot at a range my hand could no way handle a .45. Just a comment for you. Also, you should write it, H&K USP .45. I'm knit-picky about weapons, sorry. ^^ And, I've never seen a G36K Assault Carbine. Where'd you find your weapons? Because I'm always open to finding new helpful sites.

I'll be awaiting your next installment. Awesome story. ^_^

[size=84][color=seagreen]YOU SEE


You see into the deepest part of me ---

beyond the fog I hide behind.

You cast your light upon the shadows

that stretch like cobwebs in my mind.

You ease the pain when I am hurting,

and morbid visions from my past

pierce into the realm of Reason

as though I danced on blades of glass.

You grant me strength when I have fallen

and, once again, I've lost my way.

You take my hand in Yours and lead me

into the promise of a brand new day.

You bring order to all my chaos,

yet set my well-laid plans awry.

You place me on a firm foundation ---

then give me wings so I can fly.

You sand away my roughened edges

and polish all the dullest parts

until I stand before Your presence...

a newly-sculpted work of art.

You see into the heart within me,

right through my motives and selfish will.

And yet, in spite of all You see

You say You love me even still.


~by D.M.~

[/color][/size]
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Postby Danyasaur » Thu Dec 11, 2003 6:57 pm

O_O, WOW, where did you learn so much about wepons Chloe?
[color="DimGray"]I don't believe that I would die if I saw you face to face;
but that my spirit would become so alive it took my body's place.

- Danya[/color]
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Postby Razgriz » Thu Dec 11, 2003 7:12 pm

Thank you both : D

I had originally thought about using the 9mm, but I changed it to the .45 cal because of the high stopping power. This was associated with the FPA being a police organization that used military weapons, they needed a pistol that could act offensively in that it could stop a person with one shot. Thus, the FPA have adopted arguablly the best pistol in the world (the USP) for their organization. For Degretti, I think she can handle it....lol, seriously though, from the pictures the USP doesn't look too incredibly big but I haven't seen one in real life and could very well be wrong about it.

Don't worry about being nitpicky, I used real world weapons to give it an accurate (hopefully) and realstic feel to it, instead of it just being an "assault rifle."

The G36K assault carbine is also an H&K gun. I've got a picture of it below with its stock folded, and I get my info from this website. http://www.world.guns.ru/main-e.htm
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Postby Danyasaur » Thu Dec 11, 2003 7:15 pm

Sangoku wrote:I used real world weapons to give it an accurate (hopefully) and realstic feel to it, instead of it just being an "assault rifle."


lol! that's probably what you'd see me doing!
[color="DimGray"]I don't believe that I would die if I saw you face to face;
but that my spirit would become so alive it took my body's place.

- Danya[/color]
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Postby Mimichan » Sat Dec 13, 2003 9:26 pm

:thumb: Sugoi Sugoi Sugoi!! I love it!!...and I know nothing about guns so no comments about weaponry from me...;) keep up the good work!..:jump:
Image


"Why do people not notice until they lose it?
What it is that's truly important...
Although I can't afford to forgive even myself,
Because you were there,
I was able to be myself (Natural).
I want to be honest...I want to be kind...
I want to be the adult I once (in my childhood) longed to be.
I go on fighting against the heart to run away...
I go on fighting against that invisible something!"
---

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Postby kaze » Mon Dec 15, 2003 6:08 pm

subarashi!!! that last fight scene was great! :D
visit my DA and SA pages please~

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Postby true_noir_chloe » Mon Dec 15, 2003 11:18 pm

Thanks for the site, Sangoku. ^^ I'm glad you use H&K, since they're used by the FBI and the CIA - I think. It's been a while since I studied or shot guns. I'll have to go take a refresher course for this next story I'm writing, so I appreciate your site a bunch.

Anyway, I can hardly wait for your next installment. The last scene was really well done.

[size=84][color=seagreen]YOU SEE


You see into the deepest part of me ---

beyond the fog I hide behind.

You cast your light upon the shadows

that stretch like cobwebs in my mind.

You ease the pain when I am hurting,

and morbid visions from my past

pierce into the realm of Reason

as though I danced on blades of glass.

You grant me strength when I have fallen

and, once again, I've lost my way.

You take my hand in Yours and lead me

into the promise of a brand new day.

You bring order to all my chaos,

yet set my well-laid plans awry.

You place me on a firm foundation ---

then give me wings so I can fly.

You sand away my roughened edges

and polish all the dullest parts

until I stand before Your presence...

a newly-sculpted work of art.

You see into the heart within me,

right through my motives and selfish will.

And yet, in spite of all You see

You say You love me even still.


~by D.M.~

[/color][/size]
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Postby Razgriz » Wed Dec 17, 2003 4:40 pm

domo arigatou gozaimasu Kaze san!

thank you very much Chloe and Iesu.

I'm glad all of you enjoyed the last scene, I'll have more up very soon.
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Postby Razgriz » Wed Dec 17, 2003 5:14 pm

*****

She was afraid…her vision was black…but she was still conscious. Then, there was a light…faint at first, but it grew bright, and brighter, and brighter. There was also a voice. She struggled to listen…but she could barely make it out.

Capt. Degretti: “Wha?â€
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Postby Razgriz » Wed Dec 17, 2003 5:26 pm

~Scene 2: The Lady in Red~

Zeriel sat silently in front of a blank computer screen, contemplating. The botched operation he performed still haunted his mind….

It took but a second, and his entire vision was flooded with fire, like that of a dragon’s breath. Though he activated his Aeon power to create an electric field to protect himself, the blazing heat saturated his body, and left a lasting impression in his mind. He didn’t know what became of the FPA officers that were with him…whether they made it…or not…he didn’t care. He was surprised that he was able to channel the power necessary to create a field that was powerful enough to sustain such an awesome blast. The question that lingered in his mind was…why did he feel so down? He lived to fight another day, and that was all that mattered…but he also felt sympathy for the FPA officers that are probably dead. Sympathy…he quickly shrugged the thought from his mind, and turned to a more important task.

Zeriel turned on the computer screen, and went back to the document. An opportunity presented itself…and opportunity that could be a trap again, but also a chance to end it all. Quinton Velmach, the leader of the Hydra Syndicate, and the CEO of the Syntech Foundation, was to make a speech at town hall to glorify his own company. This would be a perfect opportunity to take the head dragon out.


*****

It has begun to snow, the ground was covered with a carpet of white, and the cool night air floated tiny white specks. A black Lincoln limo pulled up in front of a high end restaurant, with classical music emanating from the interior. The chauffer exited the front of the limo and walked to the back. He opened the door, and a blonde-haired woman with her hair up in a bun, a red dress, and black eye liner stepped out of the limo.

Deluris walked out of the front, wearing a black suit and a red tie, followed by half a dozen Syntech Security; wearing the same.

Deluris: “Miss. Degretti, welcome.â€
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Postby true_noir_chloe » Wed Dec 17, 2003 9:53 pm

The plot thickens and it's getting even more "edge of my seat." I can't wait to find out what happens. ^^

[size=84][color=seagreen]YOU SEE


You see into the deepest part of me ---

beyond the fog I hide behind.

You cast your light upon the shadows

that stretch like cobwebs in my mind.

You ease the pain when I am hurting,

and morbid visions from my past

pierce into the realm of Reason

as though I danced on blades of glass.

You grant me strength when I have fallen

and, once again, I've lost my way.

You take my hand in Yours and lead me

into the promise of a brand new day.

You bring order to all my chaos,

yet set my well-laid plans awry.

You place me on a firm foundation ---

then give me wings so I can fly.

You sand away my roughened edges

and polish all the dullest parts

until I stand before Your presence...

a newly-sculpted work of art.

You see into the heart within me,

right through my motives and selfish will.

And yet, in spite of all You see

You say You love me even still.


~by D.M.~

[/color][/size]
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Postby Icarus » Wed Dec 17, 2003 10:28 pm

I would compose a haiku, but it's your thread. My reaction: :evil::rock:
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Postby Mimichan » Wed Dec 17, 2003 10:44 pm

*claps* oooh..its just getting better and better...it's like Gundam Wing and Deus EX..and a bunch of other stuff all rolled into one great story! HUZZAH!
Image


"Why do people not notice until they lose it?
What it is that's truly important...
Although I can't afford to forgive even myself,
Because you were there,
I was able to be myself (Natural).
I want to be honest...I want to be kind...
I want to be the adult I once (in my childhood) longed to be.
I go on fighting against the heart to run away...
I go on fighting against that invisible something!"
---

True Navigation: Two MIX
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Postby Razgriz » Wed Dec 17, 2003 11:19 pm

Thank you all! *bows low*
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Postby Danyasaur » Thu Dec 18, 2003 9:36 am

*CLAP CLAP!!!!* oooooooo!! O_O!! this is geting better!!!!
[color="DimGray"]I don't believe that I would die if I saw you face to face;
but that my spirit would become so alive it took my body's place.

- Danya[/color]
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