Cacophony Of The Soul: Select Writings Of Zarn Ishtare

Unleash your creative writing skills here.

Postby Peanut » Wed Oct 22, 2008 6:16 pm

I sadly don't have time to go into more detail then this, but I liked this recent piece Zarn...that is all...
CAA's Resident Starcraft Expert
Image

goldenspines wrote:Its only stealing if you don't get caught.
User avatar
Peanut
 
Posts: 2433
Joined: Sun Aug 29, 2004 5:39 pm
Location: Definitely not behind you

Postby USSRGirl » Wed Oct 22, 2008 7:36 pm

Odd use of quotations at the end of the last one. I like the overall feel of "Sojourn" - you capture the emotion of "searching" very well, especially in the line "I find it odd to let things go." That line stands out for me more than the others for a variety of reasons actually. It gives off that "numb" almost anti-climatic sort of feeling of something important passing one by.

I'm not quite sure I like the quote at the end though. It broke the mood a little for me... too "sappy romance." I had been interpretting the "she" as a personification for "wonderment" before that line.
User avatar
USSRGirl
 
Posts: 1266
Joined: Sun Feb 12, 2006 11:14 am
Location: In The Place Where There Is No Darkness...

Postby goldenspines » Thu Oct 23, 2008 2:24 pm

Wow, looooots of stuff to read. That's what I get for having too much homework. Xp
Anyways, beautiful writing as always that continue to impress.
I'd love to comment on all of them personally, but that would take me a good three hours and give you way too much to read, especially of my silly comments. So, I'll select a few that stood out the most to be and make some comments on those.

Going back a little ways to "Abba Father" and "Jesus Savior"; I adore both these poems. So simple, yet some much emotion and elegence in the words.
"Poetry Isn't Visible" has a very nice format and though it's more of an explanation than anything too symbolic, the way of explaining presents the subject in an intriguing way.
And the nameless butterfly poem caught my attention immediately, the imagery is wonderful. The setting in that poem is just beautiful.
And "Listen" was very beautiful as well. It seems I have a trend of liking your shorter poems more than your longer ones. You have a talent for doing so much with so little words, I think.

Keep up the brilliant writing.
Image
User avatar
goldenspines
 
Posts: 4869
Joined: Thu Jan 18, 2007 8:42 am
Location: Up north somewhere.

Postby Zarn Ishtare » Sun Oct 26, 2008 8:59 pm

"An Image"


"Her hands traced idly across the pattern of the stars

until they lay folded in her lap.


her hair ran down her shoulders

a scarlet river bursting from the thaw."
With your doubt, all is comfort
We are all as we appear
No more questions left unanswered
No more wonder, no more fear
Nothing is beauty, nothing's feeling
Blood where there once was a soul
So I ask you, prove yourself
Make me believe that you are whole
Zarn Ishtare
 
Posts: 1295
Joined: Wed Feb 11, 2004 4:23 am
Location: HELL HATH NO FURY, AT ALL.

Postby Peanut » Mon Oct 27, 2008 3:27 pm

I'm guessing "An Image" is a work in progress, so I would just like to say that what you have already completed has some really nice imagery in it and I hope that you are able to finish that poem at some point.
CAA's Resident Starcraft Expert
Image

goldenspines wrote:Its only stealing if you don't get caught.
User avatar
Peanut
 
Posts: 2433
Joined: Sun Aug 29, 2004 5:39 pm
Location: Definitely not behind you

Postby Zarn Ishtare » Mon Oct 27, 2008 4:02 pm

Peanut (post: 1266405) wrote:I'm guessing "An Image" is a work in progress, so I would just like to say that what you have already completed has some really nice imagery in it and I hope that you are able to finish that poem at some point.


I might just leave it as is; short poems are always fun.
With your doubt, all is comfort
We are all as we appear
No more questions left unanswered
No more wonder, no more fear
Nothing is beauty, nothing's feeling
Blood where there once was a soul
So I ask you, prove yourself
Make me believe that you are whole
Zarn Ishtare
 
Posts: 1295
Joined: Wed Feb 11, 2004 4:23 am
Location: HELL HATH NO FURY, AT ALL.

Postby Zarn Ishtare » Wed Oct 29, 2008 4:25 am

"Playing The Tune Of God"





"Tho' hast not heard the Shining Band;

nor ev'ry instrument tha' plays

Harps with strings of moonbeams;

the cymbal made of starlight

Most holy tones from horns of sapphires made.

Yet all this great praise,

Has not encompassed or surpassed

a begger boy, playing "amazing grace"

on a beat-up harmonic harp."
With your doubt, all is comfort
We are all as we appear
No more questions left unanswered
No more wonder, no more fear
Nothing is beauty, nothing's feeling
Blood where there once was a soul
So I ask you, prove yourself
Make me believe that you are whole
Zarn Ishtare
 
Posts: 1295
Joined: Wed Feb 11, 2004 4:23 am
Location: HELL HATH NO FURY, AT ALL.

Postby Zarn Ishtare » Thu Oct 30, 2008 9:27 am

lonely thread bump
With your doubt, all is comfort
We are all as we appear
No more questions left unanswered
No more wonder, no more fear
Nothing is beauty, nothing's feeling
Blood where there once was a soul
So I ask you, prove yourself
Make me believe that you are whole
Zarn Ishtare
 
Posts: 1295
Joined: Wed Feb 11, 2004 4:23 am
Location: HELL HATH NO FURY, AT ALL.

Postby USSRGirl » Fri Oct 31, 2008 3:25 pm

On "An Image" -

I like the running "soft" imagery that stays unbroken through the whole piece. Not quite as much to dig into there as your other pieces, but a nice short.

On "Playing..."

It has this classical European feel for some reason... like wigs and funny hats and King James English. I like the message - good, brief (sometimes a simple punch is better than an overly wordy mash of stuff), strong. I'm not sure about the use of "Amazing Grace" in the last bit... for some reason my first thought was that a real-world hymn felt a little off, then afterwards I was like "eh... actually I sorta like that." *shrug*
User avatar
USSRGirl
 
Posts: 1266
Joined: Sun Feb 12, 2006 11:14 am
Location: In The Place Where There Is No Darkness...

Postby Zarn Ishtare » Sat Nov 08, 2008 7:23 am

"Way"
(The Letters and Liquid all flowing, all swords and all poetry and all art flows...)

Liquid honey and eyes of water

denote the smile as it slips across the face

with eyes like water she looks into the future

a mirror a door a dancing window

flowing away from all possibility

flowing slow, until the faucet stops

and the words drop faster into the pages

racing from thought-form to stains upon the space

left blank

as ribbons of water run upon the sand and

ink drops splatter in casual patterns from a broken pen

the thoughts are swords pointed in every direction

thought flows like fountains to fountains






all air and all light

will vanish tonight and leave us breathless

and without sight



I opened up my thought and the dream came in.
With your doubt, all is comfort
We are all as we appear
No more questions left unanswered
No more wonder, no more fear
Nothing is beauty, nothing's feeling
Blood where there once was a soul
So I ask you, prove yourself
Make me believe that you are whole
Zarn Ishtare
 
Posts: 1295
Joined: Wed Feb 11, 2004 4:23 am
Location: HELL HATH NO FURY, AT ALL.

Postby Zarn Ishtare » Sun Nov 09, 2008 8:51 am

I will tell you now

You are the cause of something new.
With your doubt, all is comfort
We are all as we appear
No more questions left unanswered
No more wonder, no more fear
Nothing is beauty, nothing's feeling
Blood where there once was a soul
So I ask you, prove yourself
Make me believe that you are whole
Zarn Ishtare
 
Posts: 1295
Joined: Wed Feb 11, 2004 4:23 am
Location: HELL HATH NO FURY, AT ALL.

Postby Zarn Ishtare » Sun Nov 09, 2008 9:10 am

the demons of yesternight

roosted in the back of my intoxicated mind

have been driven out by the shining light of morning.

But oh, how their buzzing flight

wounds my tired brain!
With your doubt, all is comfort
We are all as we appear
No more questions left unanswered
No more wonder, no more fear
Nothing is beauty, nothing's feeling
Blood where there once was a soul
So I ask you, prove yourself
Make me believe that you are whole
Zarn Ishtare
 
Posts: 1295
Joined: Wed Feb 11, 2004 4:23 am
Location: HELL HATH NO FURY, AT ALL.

Postby Zarn Ishtare » Sun Nov 09, 2008 9:26 pm

Tell me why

do we build Castles In The Sky?



To watch them dance amongst the clouds

Fortresses drifting in the breeze

Turrets and towers flying in unison


To defy what you call "reality".

To open the doors of possibility

wide open."


end.



These last few posts aren't actually poetry in and of themselves, as I define it...rather, they are fragmentary "mood" pieces that might help set a theme. If you can see a method in the madness, good on you. If not...welcome to my world.
With your doubt, all is comfort
We are all as we appear
No more questions left unanswered
No more wonder, no more fear
Nothing is beauty, nothing's feeling
Blood where there once was a soul
So I ask you, prove yourself
Make me believe that you are whole
Zarn Ishtare
 
Posts: 1295
Joined: Wed Feb 11, 2004 4:23 am
Location: HELL HATH NO FURY, AT ALL.

Postby Zarn Ishtare » Sun Nov 09, 2008 11:09 pm

I am the fire that purred as it died


I am the whirlwind that replied.

I am.
With your doubt, all is comfort
We are all as we appear
No more questions left unanswered
No more wonder, no more fear
Nothing is beauty, nothing's feeling
Blood where there once was a soul
So I ask you, prove yourself
Make me believe that you are whole
Zarn Ishtare
 
Posts: 1295
Joined: Wed Feb 11, 2004 4:23 am
Location: HELL HATH NO FURY, AT ALL.

Postby Zarn Ishtare » Fri Nov 14, 2008 11:24 am

Lonely writers thread bump.
With your doubt, all is comfort
We are all as we appear
No more questions left unanswered
No more wonder, no more fear
Nothing is beauty, nothing's feeling
Blood where there once was a soul
So I ask you, prove yourself
Make me believe that you are whole
Zarn Ishtare
 
Posts: 1295
Joined: Wed Feb 11, 2004 4:23 am
Location: HELL HATH NO FURY, AT ALL.

Postby Zarn Ishtare » Tue Nov 18, 2008 6:59 pm

So, is my thread over? I think...all my reviewers are gone....
With your doubt, all is comfort
We are all as we appear
No more questions left unanswered
No more wonder, no more fear
Nothing is beauty, nothing's feeling
Blood where there once was a soul
So I ask you, prove yourself
Make me believe that you are whole
Zarn Ishtare
 
Posts: 1295
Joined: Wed Feb 11, 2004 4:23 am
Location: HELL HATH NO FURY, AT ALL.

Postby Peanut » Tue Nov 18, 2008 7:16 pm

"The Way" was rather interesting and I enjoyed how the images came togethere and the way you did your lining for it. Your shorter "these aren't really poems but poetic thoughts" were, again, rather odd but I guess that's the point...again, I would like to see some of them expanded in the future...though not all of them...
CAA's Resident Starcraft Expert
Image

goldenspines wrote:Its only stealing if you don't get caught.
User avatar
Peanut
 
Posts: 2433
Joined: Sun Aug 29, 2004 5:39 pm
Location: Definitely not behind you

Postby Photosoph » Sun Nov 23, 2008 7:25 pm

T_T It's so disappointing... I thought I'd commented on quite a few poems a while ago, but apparently the comment didn't come through. ~_~" I think I must've logged out by spending too long without moving about the site. >_<

So I'll start again, though there's a lot to comment on so sorry if I keep my responses short. ^_^"

"Where the
Winds of Fate Go
So Goes
The Stormcrow


Riding
On a Black Cloud
With His Lightning
Right Beside Him


One Day
No More Storm Crow
Bringing Dark Vows
And Black CLouds

One Day
No More StormCrow
Just a Small Bird
With a Small Smile...

I really like this. The last line is really nice, especially with the added ellipsis. It makes me wonder if you'r talking about war here -with the dark clouds etc. But it also makes me recall that I read something with similar imagery to the 'lightning right behind him' in psalms... I believe it was something about the lightning being in his right hand. Maybe not, I don't remember it word for word. But I also recall a psalm where it talked about God coming down to rescue the psalmist, where it talked about God riding on the clouds, his eyes blazing, etc. So this poem reminds me of that a little. :)

Pray consider

how the trees wither

And understand

this hand

will write no more

of the sacred land

until poetry

becomes reality.-"Thought On A Tree

I love how here, and elsewhere with your poems too, the titles themselves almost become part of the poem: they add extra depth to what's written, or bring a new insight -as in here, 'thought on a tree'. I don't know why, but it makes me think of this poem as something that has been carved into a tree trunk... don't know if you intended that or not but it makes for a cool mental picture. :D
'Write no more of the sacred land...' that reminds me of another psalm... where the captors of the people of Israel asked them for songs Zion but they wouldn't sing because their city was destroyed... or was it just that they were far from home? I think at that point Zion may have been in ruins though.
Very nicely written though; love the brevity of the lines which just gives space and accentuates the words, which the rhyme helps with also. ^^

"Rath"





"As I lay dying in Aedan's Field

Body broken and fading alone

My eyes a terrible vision beheld

wings of fire and wings of stone

The Chimera moved with a screaming song

from place to place in the swarthy fog

And every dark temptation was echoed in its call...


There was a boy not half a man

dreaming angry tearing dreams

but when he awoke only a child was he

(Musical Interlude)

Musical interlude... with that added it makes me be able to imagine this as sung by a musician in an older century (in an older century more so because of the more complex words you've used, and the turn of phrases -'only a child was he'). Not in a bad way, it's just a slight impression I get. ^^. Maybe referring to a chimera and the repetition of 'wings' works towards that image as well.
In fact that was one of the things I really liked: when I read that line with 'wings of fire and wings of stone'... I'm not sure how to say it, but it was just 'satisfying' somehow to read the second 'wings'. Gives a beautiful picture too -wings of fire and wings of stone.

Otherwise, overall, this poem is a hard one to grasp. It feels as though someone is talking (or singing) of an experience of himself or someone else, relaying important information in a veiled guise. With the last line ('only a child was he') it makes me think perhaps the man died and awoke to find himself in heaven.

Oh yes, one more thing -'Aedan's Field'; I think I may be missing a reference here. Does this refer to something that I don't know, perhaps a place in history or literature?

"En Viel" by
Sasserone



Take these eyes and paint them black

now you see as I see

take this heart and break it apart

now you bleed as I bleed



Every time I hear that name

Razor wire on my skin

Every time I see your face

All I think about is sin...


I cannot take what has been claimed

cannot call what has been named

I'm left here trying to play the game...

Wow. Hope you don't mind me saying, but this seems an even more personal poem. Especially the way it's sort of left with a hanging feeling at the last line. To me it speaks of pain and betrayal, and I'm sad if that's so, for it means you must be writing of something very painful.
It's a beautiful poem but I'm aware that it may have been born of some very personal memories/experiences, which makes me rather not reply with so many words. I don't want to glory in your pain... if that makes sense.
My mind's been 'foggy' lately so if what I write is jumbled or doesn't quite flow, I apologise. I just hope you can understand what I'm trying to say. ^_^"
(0)>
((_\//
mm

[Quote=Photosoph]Well, t'was a good deduction, Mr. Holmes! *salutes Mr. Myoti Sherlock Homes* [/QUOTE]
Myoti wrote:Elementary, my dear Watsoph. XD

\(^_^)/
Still in rest and recovery mode. Posting may be sporadic at times. :pinned:
User avatar
Photosoph
 
Posts: 1528
Joined: Tue Jan 11, 2005 8:32 pm
Location: Kiwiland... fighting for mankind in the battle of human vs. sheep.

Postby Photosoph » Sun Nov 23, 2008 7:39 pm

"Rules On A Theme"



Measurements and headspace

Final Fires and muzzle velocity

let me tell you about signs and numbers

let us go on about calling for shift fire

and the Mass Effect

Of a Catastrophic Kill on a Vehicle...Vehicycle...Bibble...


This is what happens when you go on Libo

You stop making sense and start singing sea shanties

and motivating cadences

Because its good motivating trash you understand?!?

AAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHA




Ot
s fo

Deedeeedeeeeee


I'm

soRry Ahm hav1n 2 m00ch FuN.

I get the sense of fragmented thoughts (yeah, I'm sorry, I'm commenting on something obvious X3) which you've used some neat devices to achieve -changing quickly from idea to idea. Also I'm wondering if it speaks of your experiences as well -'muzzle velocity', 'shift fire'. And actually, the last bit -'I'm sorry I'm having too much fun' seems to be more of a sarcastic or rather 'lie' of a reply -as in not telling the truth. For the whole thing seems to tell of overwhelming experiences, 'madness' of the mind and a breakdown at the end.
Very effective poem Zarn -I like how you use so many 'tools' to achieve different effects and give different impressions. X3

Oh SLEEPER!



dreaming in great peace

you...you don't know, why the flowers grow or the weepings cease..




OH GOOD LORD.



I'm sorry about that, ladies, gents. Just alittle craziness. Trying to find my inspiration again, ja?

Haha, no problem. ^^ I have to say, the last line doesn't really fit with the former... I really liked the first bit; it has a nice flow to it... but the last line interrupts it. XD Takes away the seriousness, you know? ^^

I put some bricks upon my window I
Didn't want to look outside
I thought a girl would walk by and then
I would have to say something polite
And I just didn't feel like being a gentleman today. Because, To be perfectly honest

I miss

Love. I mean, Stars above, friends, whats a world without love? Of course you know what I mean, you lucky men, lying in the arms of your wives. And you, dear sisters, the delight of my brother's eyes! But I

Well...

I'm alone tonight. Walking down the city street,
Watching the people smile It's a good feeling
But its hollow inside.

I'd like to call this girl I know But she's otherwise engaged
Maybe I'll call my brother Ask him how the Party Life is going not that I would know.

So can you just hook me up? I mean,
It's not like I'm looking for Romance. Well, Perhaps I am
but you shouldn't hold it against me. Because I've sang songs in empty rooms
always singing to my "wife"

But HOW can I keep singing to her

When I haven't found her?


I guess I'll just smile, nod, and go back to my room

Read a book, sweep
And right before I go to sleep

I'll be thinking of love, and how to get it. Okay?



"I'm Not A Lonely Man"
Shane.

Now the reply to THIS was one of the ones I'm really so annoyed to have lost last time. >_< Because I really liked this poem, and it spoke to me... anyway I'll try to type anew how this spoke to me.

I feel like I can really indentify. I mean, for me it tells of that feeling of 'wistfulness', but in a way that has a lot more impact than that word 'wistfulness' itself. That sort of feeling I get when I see people joyful in love, or remember old crushes, or start wondering about these sort of things... it's hard because I'm the sort of person who's really waiting for the 'right one' for me; I haven't actually gone on a real date before. ^_^"
So for me I guess it speaks of that feeling of feeling wistful as I look around. I don't want to be paired up or just go out like those other people, but it's a little sad waiting for that right one; or rather, it's that strange slightly lonely feeling as you just kinda smile, knowing it'll probably all be all right, and not worrying about that... but just feeling a little sad/wistful all the same, wondering when you'll find that person.

Anyway, sorry, won't comment on too much more right now, I need to get onto some thigns that I really need to finish. X3 But I'm glad you've written more Zarn, and I look forward to commenting on it in the future. ^^
(0)>
((_\//
mm

[Quote=Photosoph]Well, t'was a good deduction, Mr. Holmes! *salutes Mr. Myoti Sherlock Homes* [/QUOTE]
Myoti wrote:Elementary, my dear Watsoph. XD

\(^_^)/
Still in rest and recovery mode. Posting may be sporadic at times. :pinned:
User avatar
Photosoph
 
Posts: 1528
Joined: Tue Jan 11, 2005 8:32 pm
Location: Kiwiland... fighting for mankind in the battle of human vs. sheep.

Postby Zarn Ishtare » Tue Nov 25, 2008 7:26 pm

An Age Of Romance

"Wedding Night"




"Carry me gently over the grass" she breathed to me
it's no mystery, we're fulfilling our love


her cheeks like dove wings shot through with roses

the blossom of her blush a bouquet

flowing from her throat

the moonlight flowing like teardrops, clinging to her hair
that shown in the pale moonlight.


the grace of her lace spread out before me

under the eyes of the stars...




...Tonight is ours.
With your doubt, all is comfort
We are all as we appear
No more questions left unanswered
No more wonder, no more fear
Nothing is beauty, nothing's feeling
Blood where there once was a soul
So I ask you, prove yourself
Make me believe that you are whole
Zarn Ishtare
 
Posts: 1295
Joined: Wed Feb 11, 2004 4:23 am
Location: HELL HATH NO FURY, AT ALL.

Postby Photosoph » Tue Dec 02, 2008 4:22 pm

What would I do


to forget the demon


as I lay cradling

the rose of Sharon

The shadows fall around me

don't crush the petals

clinging to tightly

will I be able to hold on after all?


All the bloody trails those kisses left

thorns on my head, thorns in my hands

Make me wake up to the sounds of weeping

but in your eyes I see

a world with no shadows

because you are my Light

Gloriously Bright


Burn out my eyes with beauty

the last thing I saw was your face bent to kiss me

and eyes brimming with crystal tears

showing me a road with no stop-signs

nothing to keep me from coming back

from this place with no windows, and no doors

and creaking floors that hide rust and frustation

but in this humble house I can still break the silence

I'm coming closer to the life I broke into

when I stole all your love

Why did I give it all back

with such foolish generousity?



The tides come

the tides go out again

when daylight dies

your heart will be in love again

with me.



Wow; so beautiful. It speaks really profoundly of love... don't hold too tight to the fragile rose, cradling it... it's really beautiful. I love the last stanza too; it finishes beautifully.
Very well crafted; feels very... hm... what's the word? ...'Polished'... er, no not that. But it just all flows so well from start to finish, beginning, expanding and then finishing. Very beautifully written. A sense of sadness, and uncertain hope is what I get... still can't get rid of a feeling of hope though. :)

"Aleleluia,


This is for the people

who still cry in church

Who stand at the altar and confess

Those who shout for joy

at the saving of a soul

and pray nightly

for wandering souls and weary hearts.


Hallalujah

This is for the Mercy Seat

from which a river of Blood flowed

"Shall we gather at the river?"

To wash away our sins

and all our shame




Abba Father


This is for the longing heart

that hears you, and believes

and daily waits upon your Voice

to speak from Heaven

to call us home




Jesus, Savior

my heart of shut doors

and empty rooms

I give to you.

A thousand nights of shame,

A million words of pain

I surrender to you, Jesus.

Wow. You know, when I read this through it made me think of something I've thought about and talked about before: how even though there are many who just go to church out of ritual or for another reason, there are still those who truly seek God with hearts that yearn and cry for them. Amongst a world and people who have hearts that are closed, too, they cry and weep for those in pain. Those who live the real life.
And the way you end it too... with a pray for the opening of a heart 'of shut doors'... surrending pain and shame to Jesus.
Very beautiful. :) ^_^ So good! I love the theme of this one.


I just finished talking to you
And I'm sad your voice has gone away
I'm waiting for you to come back like you always do
I wish so much that I had more to say

And it's like a winter day
When you're curled up by the fire
A day so cold but you're warm inside
For once not stressed or tired

And a boy cries out to the night
Wishing someone could be there
Wondering when someone will hold him tight
And appreciate how much he tries to care

I just finished talking to you
And I admit, I'm a little scared
Afraid I'll wake up tomorrow morning
And you won't really be there

And it's like a spring evening
When the sun is shining just right
And you sit so close together
Peaceful in the fading light

And a boy stares up at the stars
Wondering if one is for him to keep
Trying not to wish but wishing so hard
For someone to hold him as he falls asleep

I just finished talking to you
And I wait so long for you to reply
It feels like I'm waiting for years and years
When only seconds have gone by

And it's like a summer storm
When you're scared but someone holds your hand
Inside you feel so nice and warm
Like sinking your toes in the sand

And a boy doesn't know what to say
Does he just want the love of anyone?
He's terrified it will fade away
And he's not the only one

I just finished talking to you
And I never knew one could understand
The silent words I keep inside
But you're leading me gently by the hand

And it's like the Autumn leaves
As they fall softly to the ground
I know you'll catch me if I fall
Keep me safe and sound

And a boy has been waiting far too long
For the words he wishes to hear
Words that could finally melt his heart
Words that he could hold dear

I just finished talking to you
And more than anything I think you should know
That when I'm silent what I really mean
Is I love you, I love you so

And a girl is looking up at the stars
Wondering the very same thing
Waiting quietly in the falling snow
To see what tomorrow may bring


This was so touching. Seriously. The examples you use to explain the feelings, of being warm inside on a cold day, sitting with someone on a spring evening... (for me I think of Autumn more, when it's warm but not too hot, but eh. XP You can get those days in Spring too I suppose ^^)... they really describe so well those different feelings.
And I could feel my eyes starting to go a bit 'prickly' (almost at tears but not quite) at this stanza:
"And a boy has been waiting far too long
For the words he wishes to hear
Words that could finally melt his heart
Words that he could hold dear"


So beautiful! T__T
(0)>
((_\//
mm

[Quote=Photosoph]Well, t'was a good deduction, Mr. Holmes! *salutes Mr. Myoti Sherlock Homes* [/QUOTE]
Myoti wrote:Elementary, my dear Watsoph. XD

\(^_^)/
Still in rest and recovery mode. Posting may be sporadic at times. :pinned:
User avatar
Photosoph
 
Posts: 1528
Joined: Tue Jan 11, 2005 8:32 pm
Location: Kiwiland... fighting for mankind in the battle of human vs. sheep.

Postby Zarn Ishtare » Tue Dec 02, 2008 7:20 pm

I'm so sorry, I seriously thought I'd mark that as not being mine! It's actually a VERY precious poem one of my dearest, sweetest friends wrote to me, I didn't actually have the honor of writing it.
With your doubt, all is comfort
We are all as we appear
No more questions left unanswered
No more wonder, no more fear
Nothing is beauty, nothing's feeling
Blood where there once was a soul
So I ask you, prove yourself
Make me believe that you are whole
Zarn Ishtare
 
Posts: 1295
Joined: Wed Feb 11, 2004 4:23 am
Location: HELL HATH NO FURY, AT ALL.

Postby Photosoph » Mon Dec 15, 2008 5:49 pm

"If my heart has grown cold,

heat it.

If perchance my anger has raged too hot, cool it.

If I have overreached,
return me to where I must be.

But let me speak to her.

that is...all I ask.

Very simple... well I mean in terms of being brief and not going into long descriptions; but has a subtle but firm passion. Nice.

'Underneath' was very good too, but confused me... at 'absent from the body, present with the Lord' I thought I'd understood what the subject of the poem was, but the last verse stumped me. :P Not a bad thing though. XD

'Meath' ...o_O Seriously beautiful. I love the descriptions, and the overall feel of it. Very, very well-written Zarn!
Especially this verse... it has to be my favourite ^^ :
The trees of obisdian and green

are bronze pillars

without eyes

where the gentle breeze

retreats back to the sky

the pine needles also breathe


'Poetry is not a Visual Art'
I liked this -gave me a laugh with 'easy as... quantum mechanics. XD
But you've got a lot of good points there. It's really less of a poem as more 'prose', I believe it's called... but it's good prose. ^^

Ah yes, like you commented at the end of that post, it IS prose. ^^

The second, Notes in Arizona, gives a lot to think about too. I haven't done a long journey in the car, a long drive... especially not through the Arizona desert. It's interesting to learn a bit about how that feels, from what you've written.
And I think you're right, a sense of peace or at least having thought through something and come to a conclusion that takes some of the niggling anxiety away seems to come though. :)

"Okay, I think it's time to get down"
The title at the end... that's great. An excellent way to lift the sense of sadness at the end with a note of humour. Er... not sure if you intended it that way or not, but that's how I saw it.
Amazing, actually. First I was caught by the awe and wonder, and then you so quickly changed to a more sad approach -unable to change things. Very well done.

Sorry if I've been kind of brief; I want to read through and comment on your poetry and prose, but can't do it all at once and I've also been kinda stressed today, which doesn't help. ^_^" But it was great to read through some more of your writing Zarn; it was excellent, as expected. ^_^
(0)>
((_\//
mm

[Quote=Photosoph]Well, t'was a good deduction, Mr. Holmes! *salutes Mr. Myoti Sherlock Homes* [/QUOTE]
Myoti wrote:Elementary, my dear Watsoph. XD

\(^_^)/
Still in rest and recovery mode. Posting may be sporadic at times. :pinned:
User avatar
Photosoph
 
Posts: 1528
Joined: Tue Jan 11, 2005 8:32 pm
Location: Kiwiland... fighting for mankind in the battle of human vs. sheep.

Postby Zarn Ishtare » Sun Dec 21, 2008 11:56 am

Old Words, Old Worlds, take One.


"Mordred"
"I am a lone king, but the princess of Midcourt is a fine lady, and close to my heart.


Southcourt is a faded kingdom...I weep for its passing. The broken crown is there, and the sisters two.


Westcourt is a place for the lone king, the claiment to the High Kings throne, but the High King shall not surrender his crown to the golden one.


Othercourt is the dwelling place of the Empress, and we do not speak of her in this life.


In midcourt, the kingdom is only a hearth and a home..


and in Northcourt is the Cold King, and the Cold King alone.


Mordred... "





"Winter Bard"

There was once a bard beyond compare.


As he composed epic verse, only one Phrase escaped his tearstained lips.


"God Almighty, Let Me Rest!" The frost connected in smiles along his cheeks, as he sang to the cold, cold world.

Wrapped in fur and met in frost, he fell asleep, and was no more.
With your doubt, all is comfort
We are all as we appear
No more questions left unanswered
No more wonder, no more fear
Nothing is beauty, nothing's feeling
Blood where there once was a soul
So I ask you, prove yourself
Make me believe that you are whole
Zarn Ishtare
 
Posts: 1295
Joined: Wed Feb 11, 2004 4:23 am
Location: HELL HATH NO FURY, AT ALL.

Postby Zarn Ishtare » Sun Dec 21, 2008 11:57 am

"breathing"

Breathe in...

start the day anew.


Breathe out....

let it go again.


Breathe in....

feel the wind of my spirit escape my lips.


Breathe out...


release the things which bind me.



Breathe in...

And start everything anew.

Ok, start, Reset, begin again, do it over, restart, finish, final, over, edit, copy, done.


And then begin again.
With your doubt, all is comfort
We are all as we appear
No more questions left unanswered
No more wonder, no more fear
Nothing is beauty, nothing's feeling
Blood where there once was a soul
So I ask you, prove yourself
Make me believe that you are whole
Zarn Ishtare
 
Posts: 1295
Joined: Wed Feb 11, 2004 4:23 am
Location: HELL HATH NO FURY, AT ALL.

Postby Zarn Ishtare » Sun Dec 21, 2008 3:16 pm

Old Words, Old Worlds, Take 2.


Did you pass each other on the way
The day that you went by?
or did you save it for another day
when you crossed beneath the sky?

Did you you hear the lies
the darkness used to say
or did you smile and stay awhile
As you saved the day?

I don't know what to think of you
my oldest, dearest friend
Are you an angel or lycanthrope
Or a companion till the end?

You see I heard him calling you
somewhere from beyond the blue
His eyes were fire and your desire
for him, it seems so true!

So hears to you, crazy friend
and let this much be true
You'll never know a better friend
then the one sitting next to you.
With your doubt, all is comfort
We are all as we appear
No more questions left unanswered
No more wonder, no more fear
Nothing is beauty, nothing's feeling
Blood where there once was a soul
So I ask you, prove yourself
Make me believe that you are whole
Zarn Ishtare
 
Posts: 1295
Joined: Wed Feb 11, 2004 4:23 am
Location: HELL HATH NO FURY, AT ALL.

Postby Zarn Ishtare » Tue Dec 23, 2008 4:19 pm

"The ripples of light across the water


A candle burns warm and lonely in my hand

Dim against a pale sunrise.


I stand upon the shore

the water laps at my feet

my eyes had stared at the sea for hours

Like a broken tower cast upon the sand

Unmoving, standing in silent demand

until a sudden shadow was cast upon the shore.



Then and There did the undefeatable quake


There and then did a heart brake


as the tremors of the candle-flame quietly shake.



tears of hidden grief; relief


looking into the light, I sank to my knees

at that holy and unalterable sight



the Light!

His holy face of White!

Open palms of crimson bright!

His smile, His face of love

That wakes my heart's delight!





the shadows and the light...
the softness and the night.
With your doubt, all is comfort
We are all as we appear
No more questions left unanswered
No more wonder, no more fear
Nothing is beauty, nothing's feeling
Blood where there once was a soul
So I ask you, prove yourself
Make me believe that you are whole
Zarn Ishtare
 
Posts: 1295
Joined: Wed Feb 11, 2004 4:23 am
Location: HELL HATH NO FURY, AT ALL.

Postby Zarn Ishtare » Mon Dec 29, 2008 10:49 am

Old Poetry:
"Prison of Thought"

"This mind is a prison of thought...
I cannot escape it.
Logic defends me from faith, Reason protects me from kindness.
Walls of Rhetoric surround me, built by bricks of raw emotion.
Nerves of Steel that were never mine bind me to my chair as A shock of light runs through my brain. Holiness slays me, Goodness kills me, me, this prisoner of dreams. Brilliant truth blasts holes through my Illiterate soul, unable to read the words of Light. Every neuron, every brain cell, every bond of reason, sense, and logic ties me to my chair,
And I am dead.
The body moves, but I am dead.
The mind thinks, but Death reigns.
And Lonliness is the last feeling before falling into the dark abyss of night.

Disconsolation.
Darkness.
Black...

And I am still....alone."

"Black"

Black.
Night is black.
My room is black.
My heart, is black.

Darkness is the ruler, while light plays puppet to a fool, who's gone away. Night conquers all, love falls short of glory.
Can't you see the Fortress of the tainted Spirit?
Don't you know the Fallen reign while the righteous die?

NO!!!!
A Cry from the Heavens, from the Holy Of Holies!
NO!
I will not serve blackness, Night is not my master!
Light will destroy you, Satan!
Your heart will not be heard among the saints,
Tainted song of Devils shall not be sung!

I will fight!
Fight!

FIGHT!!!!

End.
With your doubt, all is comfort
We are all as we appear
No more questions left unanswered
No more wonder, no more fear
Nothing is beauty, nothing's feeling
Blood where there once was a soul
So I ask you, prove yourself
Make me believe that you are whole
Zarn Ishtare
 
Posts: 1295
Joined: Wed Feb 11, 2004 4:23 am
Location: HELL HATH NO FURY, AT ALL.

Postby Zarn Ishtare » Mon Dec 29, 2008 10:49 am

"Solitude" By Sophrem.
(Or, Confessions of a man when dieing.)

Solitude.
I am surrounded, but alone.
Reminence.
Remembering love and its bounties.
Disconsolation. Rememnering anew the pain of my lost heart.
The wolf cries alone, heeding only the pale disc which hangs above.
Mother, I am blinded by my love, my vision has been stolen by love.
Am I condemned to walk the lonely road? Love walks behind me....yet should I turn my eyes from the path, should I try to catch a glimpse of love before its time, it will dissapear like water, evaporating in the noonday sun. The Stars burn bright as the sleepless dead tread on roads build on their own shattered dreams.
and still I am alone. I miss you...my heart, my love.
Goodbye and Goodnight,
Tai.

I was one the Crying lone wolf, before this misery.
Now I am the Dieing lone wolf, and I have come to see
That destiny does not make children, but gives only orphans who bleed.
With your doubt, all is comfort
We are all as we appear
No more questions left unanswered
No more wonder, no more fear
Nothing is beauty, nothing's feeling
Blood where there once was a soul
So I ask you, prove yourself
Make me believe that you are whole
Zarn Ishtare
 
Posts: 1295
Joined: Wed Feb 11, 2004 4:23 am
Location: HELL HATH NO FURY, AT ALL.

Postby Zarn Ishtare » Sat Jan 10, 2009 11:03 am

it's very quiet here...
With your doubt, all is comfort
We are all as we appear
No more questions left unanswered
No more wonder, no more fear
Nothing is beauty, nothing's feeling
Blood where there once was a soul
So I ask you, prove yourself
Make me believe that you are whole
Zarn Ishtare
 
Posts: 1295
Joined: Wed Feb 11, 2004 4:23 am
Location: HELL HATH NO FURY, AT ALL.

Previous Next

Return to Writing

Who is online

Users browsing this forum: No registered users and 46 guests