I wrote this mainly in a couple of nights of depressed inspiration! I had the idea for a long time, though. It's a short side-story to my novel, "Dreamer's Rhlem", but one does not have to have read that to understand this story, I think. I'm still polishing "Dreamer's Rhlem", anyway. I posted the first chapter to it here a while back.
Anyway... this short side-story has one of the main characters, a man who is over three-hundred years old, talking to an immortal character specific to this short story (ie. Ashe' does not appear in the main novel).
Read, review, enjoy?
http://rhlem.net/burdens.html
"Burdens of Immortality"
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"Burdens of Immortality"
"We will never give up and despair, for we are on a mission from God." __ Hellsing, Vol. 2.
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Haibane Shadsie - Posts: 511
- Joined: Wed Oct 08, 2003 10:00 am
- Location: Somewhere in the middle of the desert
I love this! Great work. You're a very talented writer. 
Thanks to doukeshi03 from otakuboards for the banner!
First, Ban all the Trolls. . .
Hey, whatever happened to "thou shalt not steal" anyway?
Guess which bishounen is my avatar.
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MillyFan - Posts: 974
- Joined: Fri May 30, 2003 9:00 am
- Location: El Cajon, California
*clapping* That is the most impressive thing I have ever read from you, Shadsie. I was left breathless by it's deep insight and by your delicate handling of a very personal conversation. I could actually envision the scene as they spoke and their voices, quiet and melancholy.
^_^ Very, very good. Thanks for sharing it.
^_^ Very, very good. Thanks for sharing it.
[size=84][color=seagreen]YOU SEE
You see into the deepest part of me ---
beyond the fog I hide behind.
You cast your light upon the shadows
that stretch like cobwebs in my mind.
You ease the pain when I am hurting,
and morbid visions from my past
pierce into the realm of Reason
as though I danced on blades of glass.
You grant me strength when I have fallen
and, once again, I've lost my way.
You take my hand in Yours and lead me
into the promise of a brand new day.
You bring order to all my chaos,
yet set my well-laid plans awry.
You place me on a firm foundation ---
then give me wings so I can fly.
You sand away my roughened edges
and polish all the dullest parts
until I stand before Your presence...
a newly-sculpted work of art.
You see into the heart within me,
right through my motives and selfish will.
And yet, in spite of all You see
You say You love me even still.
~by D.M.~
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true_noir_chloe - Posts: 3091
- Joined: Wed Sep 10, 2003 12:00 pm
- Location: Where Tex-Mex is the best! ^_____^
Hmm, that was pretty cool, Shadsie. I'm a terrible critic so I'll leave it at that :]
fightin' in the eighties
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ShiroiHikari - Posts: 7564
- Joined: Wed May 28, 2003 12:00 pm
- Location: Somewhere between 1983 and 1989
This was very good ^_^.. you are a very talented writer!
"Why do people not notice until they lose it?
What it is that's truly important...
Although I can't afford to forgive even myself,
Because you were there,
I was able to be myself (Natural).
I want to be honest...I want to be kind...
I want to be the adult I once (in my childhood) longed to be.
I go on fighting against the heart to run away...
I go on fighting against that invisible something!"---
True Navigation: Two MIX
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Mimichan - Posts: 241
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- Location: Somewhere between here and there
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