The Rabbit Hole

Unleash your creative writing skills here.

The Rabbit Hole

Postby Mithrandir » Mon Aug 04, 2003 9:23 am

Hey All,
This is a sci-fi book I thougth I'd take a stab at. For those of you who get confused, I'll break up the posts such that each post is a differnt scene change. Let me know what you think (or don't, I guess it doesn't really matter that much).

The Rabbit Hole
By: OldPhilosopher
Part I

There was no warmth that morning cycle. The absolute vacuum of space extended for unfathomable distances in every direction. The polished synth-steel hull would have appeared to hang motionless in an abyss of nothing, had there been any observers to witness its plight. A single blinking symbol projected above the command console gave the lone shred of evidence that the ship was indeed moving. The alien symbols reported in immaculate detail each reply from the innumerable queried sensors. Data to numerous for any one being to comprehend scrolled continuously across the 56 screens placed in a perfect circle surrounding the primary display. The ring of seats slowly rotated around the circumference of the circle, and the holographic behemoth followed them in perfect harmony. Above the ring of seats an enormous throne dominated the upper deck. Countering it’s towering bulk toward the back of the deck, the floor at the front of the deck had been assembled from precisely cut synth-diamond to allow an un-obstructed view of the display. Normally the command center would be teaming with life as hundreds of sets of feet swept across the floor, carrying commands and questions from every corner of the vessel. But this morning, all was silent. There was no motion, no sound, no life. A second blip appeared on the screen, signaling something of monumentous import was transpiring 25 floors away.
In the farthest depths of the bowels of the ship, two translucent domed-prisms lay sill atop two brushed steel tables. Their edges aligned perfectly with the walls of their small room, the result of years of trained military service and utter lack of imagination. Next to each two-meter container, haphazardly sprawled atop the table, a sleek black panel reflected back the pulsing light that suddenly filled the room. Slowly the timing of the pulsing grew in intensity, until at last if flickered into a cool, steady bluish glow. The panels blinked once, and the domed tops of the containers slid back with a barely audible hiss of hydraulics and escaping gas. The contents of the cases were meager. Two human figures, measuring just under one-meter tall reclined in forced slumber cradled in the soft cushions, which resembled nothing more than an average coffin. Dazed from nearly a half a millennium of cryo-sleep, two sets of eyes slowly blinked open. Sensing motion and life signs, the sleeping ship sprang to life, filling the occupied space with warmth and light.
User avatar
Mithrandir
 
Posts: 11071
Joined: Fri Jun 27, 2003 12:00 pm
Location: You will be baked. And then there will be cake.

Postby Mithrandir » Mon Aug 04, 2003 9:24 am

The Rabbit Hold
By: OldPhilosopher
Part II

Lt. Philips sat upright at his terminal, his eyes and posture a studied example of how to sit at attention during the monotony of a typical morning shift. He hated the first shift after a sleep cycle, and sulked once again. “UWS regulations be damned,â€
User avatar
Mithrandir
 
Posts: 11071
Joined: Fri Jun 27, 2003 12:00 pm
Location: You will be baked. And then there will be cake.

Postby Mithrandir » Mon Aug 04, 2003 9:27 am

The Rabbit Hold
By: OldPhilosopher
Part III

The two figures huddled together in an empty corner of the white room. They were shivering from hibernation poisoning, though neither of them were aware of it. They held each other and stared blankly at the sarcophagi they had so recently occupied, incomprehension obvious in their otherwise hollow eyes. Struggling valiantly against the sheer panic that gripped them, one figure extracted himself from the others clutches and stood slowly to his feet. His befuddled mind reeled, searching for any information he could process. There were no memories. There were no answers. Only feelings flooded through him, and without any experiences to filter them, they coursed through him with unbridled, unchecked fury. He grabbed at the first on he could identify, and instinctively gave voice to it. His tongue felt as though it occupied his entire mouth as he struggled with speech.
“Pain.â€
User avatar
Mithrandir
 
Posts: 11071
Joined: Fri Jun 27, 2003 12:00 pm
Location: You will be baked. And then there will be cake.

Postby Mithrandir » Mon Aug 04, 2003 10:02 am

The Rabbit Hole
By: OldPhilopopher
Part IV:

User defined a AHSU (All Hands Status Update) as a suspension of ongoing tasks and reporting any inconsistencies or unusual occurrences during a shift. Lt. Philips leapt into action. Tapping the light brought up a log of every system status update for the shift. Other than a brief background radiation spike from Ultra Deep Space in the center of Gamma-2749, there was nothing whatsoever on the list. He briefly considered ignoring the data; it was obviously a fluke. He sighed. All information must be reported, he reminded himself. If someone was going to make a decision to act on readings like this, it was their career on the line. He quickly highlighted the sensor logs and attached his badge number to the reporting algorithm. He did not hit the submit button immediately. He was smarter than that. If you submit your log data to quickly, you are usually accused of not sufficiently processing the data. A little bit of idleness goes a long way toward advancing up the chain of command; Philips had made a career out of knowing when to submit status reports. The moments ticked away, and he re-configured his control panel; it was something to do when one needed to pass the time.
The panel was a single sheet of transparent crystal-steel, the images of the buttons projected from below by a laser, which excited the crystal components and created the images; the panel was also touch sensitive. This combination allowed the UWSE to customize the panel to each user, officially because they wanted to make the screens as intuitive as possible. At each shift change, the biorhythms of the replacement personnel were check as soon as they sat down, and the control panel rebuilt to their exacting preferences. Upon leaving, the panel was completely redrawn for each staff member. Philips, however, had long ago realized that he could customize the system himself, and look busy doing it. He knew the system was capable of withstanding a staggering amount of force, and he secretly suspected that the system was also capable of withstanding anything he could spill on it. And right now, he wanted to spill coffee on it. Anxious to be off, he checked the time stamp. It flipped the 5th ITU, and right on schedule his replacement walked through the bridge security sensor security checkpoint.
The security officer on duty checked him in, filing the proper reports and checking for contraband. No one would ever dream of breaking the rules, but it was something he rather enjoyed doing. It gave him the sense that every member aboard was answerable to him. Well, at least everyone but Fleet Admiral Spencer IV. No one in their right mind would question anything he said. He had personally fought in over 100 skirmishes with the Cru’ixa and earned his admiralship from the bottom up. He was a hard-fighting, hard-hearted fighter - one who tolerated no disrespect. It was rare that he was seen on the bridge for more then a few minutes. His normal routine was to wonder around a few times, barking orders to any one near, his voice nearly drowned out by the sounds of people looking for any excuse to get out of his way. But FA Spencer IV was not on the bridge at the moment, and the security guard waved Philips’ replacement through with only a moderately concealed yawn of boredom. Philips stood up and shook his replacements hand, aware that the man was not remotely interested in talking to him.
A minute later, he was heading out the checkpoint and off to the galley for his daily shot of caffeine. He had escaped just in time, he realize as the admiral rounded the corner of the main bridge access way. Philips walked with his head down, apparently in deep concentration. When he judged the distance was appropriate, he looked up with an expression of feigned surprise. Quickly, he snapped to attention and saluted. The admiral scowled and offered only a brief, curt nod as he continued toward the bridge. It was rare to see the Admiral hurry, and Philips was relieved he has spent enough time on his uniform this morning to forgo the usually rebuffing. The bridge door slid shut behine him, and he finally dropped out of attention. He continued on his way, the admiral as well as the status report forgotten. Forgotten, and unsent. It was a mere fluke that the log data was routed to the main office, and Lt. Philips’ replacement was responsible. Distracted by the pretty petty officer next to him, he accidentally dropped a book onto his control panel before being seated. It fell squarely atop the submit button just before he slid into the chair. The sensor reading data responsible for alerting Fleet Admiral Spencer IV to the greatest discovery in the history of Earth was sent to forensics only by dumb luck, and the massive weight of the United World Space Exploration Regulation’s Manual.
User avatar
Mithrandir
 
Posts: 11071
Joined: Fri Jun 27, 2003 12:00 pm
Location: You will be baked. And then there will be cake.

Postby Mithrandir » Mon Aug 04, 2003 11:02 am

The Rabbit Hole
By: OldPhilosopher
Part V

The next door was unexpected. They had traded sitting for standing, and were now waiting for something to happen. The walkway was obviously heading somewhere, and they were content to wait for it to arrive. They talked little, content to reflect on their situation in silence. After what seemed like hours, they caught sight of it. A highly reflective ebony scar running perfectly perpendicular across the otherwise white expanse, it was visible for quite some time before they could ascertain its function. When the moving walkway approached it, they stepped off; the walkway went still. They walked up to the door expectantly, but it did not open. Instead, it beeped. The sound was so startling that they both gasped and went still, every muscle in their bodies tightening involuntarily. It hummed for a moment, then went still. Suddenly it opened. The stood staring into the tiny room, then slowly looked inside. It was barely one meter deep and two meters across. The walls were the same white as everywhere else, but there was one panel just inside the doorway. The floor was the same black material as the stripe in the middle of the floor, leading them to believe it might move.
They took one hesitant step into the room, but nothing happened. They took another, and the door closed behind them. With a startled cry, Five spun around. He stepped quickly to the door, but it did not budge. He touched it lightly, and then began to strain against and pound on it. It did not budge. They were trapped! A pulsing light on the panel to the right of the door caught his eye, and he turned to examine it. The panel consisted of five columns of alien characters, each with 5 rows. The last character in the last row was blinking. He reached out is hand and touched it. The door popped open. Four slipped silently beside him and peered around his shoulder at the panel. Curious, she touched the next character up. Instantly the door slid closed and the floor began to shake. There was a gentle hum and their stomachs felt as though they were attempting to reach the floor without them.
Five grabbed her and pulled her away from the panel, looking around for any sign of danger. But the humming and moving soon stopped, and their stomachs felt as though they had been returned to the proper location. The door popped open and they stepped out quickly. They stood staring at the hallway. It was no longer white. It was no longer a hallway.
User avatar
Mithrandir
 
Posts: 11071
Joined: Fri Jun 27, 2003 12:00 pm
Location: You will be baked. And then there will be cake.

Postby Mithrandir » Mon Aug 04, 2003 4:00 pm

More to come when I get the muse...
User avatar
Mithrandir
 
Posts: 11071
Joined: Fri Jun 27, 2003 12:00 pm
Location: You will be baked. And then there will be cake.

Postby EireWolf » Mon Aug 04, 2003 10:11 pm

:)
User avatar
EireWolf
 
Posts: 2496
Joined: Thu Jun 26, 2003 12:00 pm
Location: the forests of northern California

Postby EireWolf » Sat Aug 09, 2003 3:39 pm

Okay, now that I read it while completely awake, I understand it better! :)

It's good! It needs a few minor edits, but of course that's what you keep me around for. :thumb: I want to read more! :jump:
User avatar
EireWolf
 
Posts: 2496
Joined: Thu Jun 26, 2003 12:00 pm
Location: the forests of northern California

Postby uc pseudonym » Tue Aug 12, 2003 5:17 pm

This is really quite interesting. As has been said, a wee bit of editing would be a good thing, but you certainly have the feel for sci-fi. And in a genre like this one, that's what really matters.

You have a lot of description, which is fine, given the feel of the story. Goings-on with fleet rules and positions is interesting. I'll be interested to see where this goes.
User avatar
uc pseudonym
 
Posts: 15506
Joined: Tue Jun 10, 2003 4:00 am
Location: Tanzania

Postby EireWolf » Thu Aug 14, 2003 10:53 pm

*sits back on haunches and waits to see what will happen to Four and Five*
User avatar
EireWolf
 
Posts: 2496
Joined: Thu Jun 26, 2003 12:00 pm
Location: the forests of northern California

Postby EireWolf » Mon Sep 08, 2003 9:02 pm

*thumps tail on the ground, still patiently waiting for more*
User avatar
EireWolf
 
Posts: 2496
Joined: Thu Jun 26, 2003 12:00 pm
Location: the forests of northern California

Postby Mimichan » Mon Sep 08, 2003 10:35 pm

Yes, more please...*sits down and waits expectantly*.
I like this story!^^
Image


"Why do people not notice until they lose it?
What it is that's truly important...
Although I can't afford to forgive even myself,
Because you were there,
I was able to be myself (Natural).
I want to be honest...I want to be kind...
I want to be the adult I once (in my childhood) longed to be.
I go on fighting against the heart to run away...
I go on fighting against that invisible something!"
---

True Navigation: Two MIX
User avatar
Mimichan
 
Posts: 241
Joined: Sun Aug 10, 2003 4:00 am
Location: Somewhere between here and there

Postby Michael » Tue Sep 09, 2003 2:16 pm

It's a lot like Heinlein. I like.
[font="Times New Roman"][SIZE="4"]S.D.G.[/SIZE][/font]
User avatar
Michael
 
Posts: 1233
Joined: Tue Aug 19, 2003 7:03 pm
Location: Why can't I select 'blue' for my gender?

Postby Razgriz » Tue Sep 09, 2003 2:52 pm

Michael wrote:It's a lot like Heinlein. I like.


Yeah, I agree.
Razgriz
 
Posts: 1186
Joined: Wed Aug 06, 2003 10:00 am

Postby Mithrandir » Tue Sep 09, 2003 4:37 pm

It's probably best I have no idea what Heinlein is. That's the best way to steer away from plagurism I know! OK, I've got the next segment in the works. It's about the FA. I've been really busy, what with the start of the semester and all, so forgive me if it takes a few days...
User avatar
Mithrandir
 
Posts: 11071
Joined: Fri Jun 27, 2003 12:00 pm
Location: You will be baked. And then there will be cake.

Postby Michael » Tue Sep 09, 2003 6:23 pm

Robert A. Heinlein.

He wrote:
Starship Troopers (Which is 10 billion times better than the movie)
Podkayne of Mars
The Rolling Stones
Starbeast
and a bunch of others.
[font="Times New Roman"][SIZE="4"]S.D.G.[/SIZE][/font]
User avatar
Michael
 
Posts: 1233
Joined: Tue Aug 19, 2003 7:03 pm
Location: Why can't I select 'blue' for my gender?

Postby shooraijin » Tue Sep 09, 2003 6:52 pm

> Starship Troopers

"Would you like to know more?"
"you're a doctor.... and 27 years.... so...doctor + 27 years = HATORI SOHMA" - RoyalWing, when I was 27
"Al hail the forum editting Shooby! His vibes are law!" - Osaka-chan

I could still be champ, but I'd feel bad taking it away from one of the younger guys. - George Foreman
User avatar
shooraijin
 
Posts: 9928
Joined: Thu Jun 26, 2003 12:00 pm
Location: Southern California

Postby Mithrandir » Tue Sep 09, 2003 8:22 pm

I SAID I DIDN'T WANT TO KNOW MORE!!!

*Sigh*

Now I'm gonna get sued.

j/k. Maybe I'll post more tomorrow evening.

And Shoob: "In AD2001 War Was Beginning."

Sorry. I couldn't help myself.
User avatar
Mithrandir
 
Posts: 11071
Joined: Fri Jun 27, 2003 12:00 pm
Location: You will be baked. And then there will be cake.

Postby Mimichan » Tue Sep 09, 2003 11:05 pm

Hey, don't forget "Stranger in a Strange Land"!!
That's where the term 'grok' came from^_^

Starship Trooper...giant bugs...blech!!!! *grabs Industrial sized can of insect repellent and her handy-dandy Turbo Swatter<with manual or automatic swat , bug sensor alert, and 5 speed control options>.*
Image


"Why do people not notice until they lose it?
What it is that's truly important...
Although I can't afford to forgive even myself,
Because you were there,
I was able to be myself (Natural).
I want to be honest...I want to be kind...
I want to be the adult I once (in my childhood) longed to be.
I go on fighting against the heart to run away...
I go on fighting against that invisible something!"
---

True Navigation: Two MIX
User avatar
Mimichan
 
Posts: 241
Joined: Sun Aug 10, 2003 4:00 am
Location: Somewhere between here and there


Return to Writing

Who is online

Users browsing this forum: No registered users and 170 guests