A novella or s.s.? - "The Werewolf of Tupelo"

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Postby Rachel » Thu Jan 15, 2004 5:25 pm

undefinedhey. i've been meaning to read this for a while now since jonny told me that it was really good. i must say that i agree with him. for once. hehe. please write more.
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Updates soon

Postby true_noir_chloe » Thu Jan 15, 2004 10:59 pm

I've been getting nudged to write more from the wolf. :hug: So, I will paste more in a day or two. There needs to be a few more hours added to the day.:lol: I have two other projects I'm in the middle of, and my kids school takes more of my time with each day.

Thanks for reading this convoybutterfly. I'm glad you liked it. I will be sending it around for publication eventually. This was started so long ago and I enjoy writing it. It started as an experiment, since I have a California accent. My sister, however, lives in Tupelo, Mississippi. And, at one time I wanted to be a linguist and can imitate accents very well. It might have something to do with my musical ear.:P

[size=84][color=seagreen]YOU SEE


You see into the deepest part of me ---

beyond the fog I hide behind.

You cast your light upon the shadows

that stretch like cobwebs in my mind.

You ease the pain when I am hurting,

and morbid visions from my past

pierce into the realm of Reason

as though I danced on blades of glass.

You grant me strength when I have fallen

and, once again, I've lost my way.

You take my hand in Yours and lead me

into the promise of a brand new day.

You bring order to all my chaos,

yet set my well-laid plans awry.

You place me on a firm foundation ---

then give me wings so I can fly.

You sand away my roughened edges

and polish all the dullest parts

until I stand before Your presence...

a newly-sculpted work of art.

You see into the heart within me,

right through my motives and selfish will.

And yet, in spite of all You see

You say You love me even still.


~by D.M.~

[/color][/size]
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Location: Where Tex-Mex is the best! ^_____^

Happy Birthday, Eirewolf! ^_^

Postby true_noir_chloe » Wed Jan 28, 2004 3:04 am

New installment in honor of Eirewolf's birthday. :) :hug: Hope it came out all right. Let me know if it needs work, okay wolfie?:grin:

Continuation and end of Chap. 10: Junkyards

To my surprise, old Mr. Cummings home was clean and tidy. I wasn’t really sure what I expected; maybe junk laying around his interior the way it lay around his exterior. I had never really spoke with Mr. Al Cummings or Jarrett Cummings and had only heard stories of how old Mr. Cummings wife died two years ago of cancer and then that Jarrett’s wife left him and their son six or so years ago. I only knew them by rumors, but my daddy every so often helped Jarrett with stuff around his business. One of the only jobs my daddy had.

Mr. Al Cummings walked out with two mismatched glasses of iced tea. He handed me one.

I pressed my left hand down onto the brown cloth chair I was sitting in, and then took a sip of the tea in my right hand. It was real warm. I looked over at the other furniture, all brown and cloth, circa 70s with tan laced arm covers, probably embroidered with designs his wife had made.

Mr. Cummings sat down across from me, placing his glass on the coffee table.

[size=100][font=Times New Roman] “Thank you,â€

[size=84][color=seagreen]YOU SEE


You see into the deepest part of me ---

beyond the fog I hide behind.

You cast your light upon the shadows

that stretch like cobwebs in my mind.

You ease the pain when I am hurting,

and morbid visions from my past

pierce into the realm of Reason

as though I danced on blades of glass.

You grant me strength when I have fallen

and, once again, I've lost my way.

You take my hand in Yours and lead me

into the promise of a brand new day.

You bring order to all my chaos,

yet set my well-laid plans awry.

You place me on a firm foundation ---

then give me wings so I can fly.

You sand away my roughened edges

and polish all the dullest parts

until I stand before Your presence...

a newly-sculpted work of art.

You see into the heart within me,

right through my motives and selfish will.

And yet, in spite of all You see

You say You love me even still.


~by D.M.~

[/color][/size]
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Postby EireWolf » Wed Jan 28, 2004 5:41 pm

:jump: Yay! :jump:

Thanks, chloe, that's a cool birthday present. :grin:
"All we have to decide is what to do with the time that is given to us."
[indent]~~Gandalf, in Fellowship of the Ring[/indent]
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Postby Icarus » Wed Jan 28, 2004 6:31 pm

*As a little kid* Wow! Neato! You get the best presents, EireWolf.
The Forsworn War of 34

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Postby true_noir_chloe » Wed Jan 28, 2004 7:55 pm

:hug: You're welcome. Hope you had a great birthday.:)

[size=84][color=seagreen]YOU SEE


You see into the deepest part of me ---

beyond the fog I hide behind.

You cast your light upon the shadows

that stretch like cobwebs in my mind.

You ease the pain when I am hurting,

and morbid visions from my past

pierce into the realm of Reason

as though I danced on blades of glass.

You grant me strength when I have fallen

and, once again, I've lost my way.

You take my hand in Yours and lead me

into the promise of a brand new day.

You bring order to all my chaos,

yet set my well-laid plans awry.

You place me on a firm foundation ---

then give me wings so I can fly.

You sand away my roughened edges

and polish all the dullest parts

until I stand before Your presence...

a newly-sculpted work of art.

You see into the heart within me,

right through my motives and selfish will.

And yet, in spite of all You see

You say You love me even still.


~by D.M.~

[/color][/size]
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true_noir_chloe
 
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Joined: Wed Sep 10, 2003 12:00 pm
Location: Where Tex-Mex is the best! ^_____^

Postby Mimichan » Wed Jan 28, 2004 10:33 pm

Hey wow! an update...woohoo!! I love this story. Glad to see more of it ^_^
Image


"Why do people not notice until they lose it?
What it is that's truly important...
Although I can't afford to forgive even myself,
Because you were there,
I was able to be myself (Natural).
I want to be honest...I want to be kind...
I want to be the adult I once (in my childhood) longed to be.
I go on fighting against the heart to run away...
I go on fighting against that invisible something!"
---

True Navigation: Two MIX
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Postby EireWolf » Thu Jan 29, 2004 11:47 pm

Icarus wrote:*As a little kid* Wow! Neato! You get the best presents, EireWolf.


:grin: You wanna share? :angel:
"All we have to decide is what to do with the time that is given to us."
[indent]~~Gandalf, in Fellowship of the Ring[/indent]
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Postby Da Rabid Duckie » Tue Feb 10, 2004 7:02 pm

<-- check the profile, as it says I'm from Tupelo. I've lived here for almost 24 years. I usually don't enjoy admitting it, though since it'd be useful to someone for the moment I'm claiming it.

All in all, I have to say this was a very well-written story. I've got a few comments though, and this is all to help you out.

Now that that's out in the air, I was impressed by the use of dialect, and it is fairly accurate to that of Tupelo. However, from just the dialect alone I thought the story was set in the mid 30's. When I read about the Marriot though, and the IHOP I was astonished because they've only been here no more than five years apiece. I guess what I'm trying to say, is that there are two distinct accents around here. You nailed the way the older people speak to a T, though its not often that the youth speak like that until they're much older (and lazier... the southern drawl simply comes from just not wanting to pronounce certain syllables). I was greatly impressed though by your mentioning the Battlefield memorial and Brice's Crossroads (the latter actually being in Baldwyn, and not Tupelo). I think I live about two miles away from the Battlefield Memorial.

All in all, I want more!! Much more!! And hey, if you need help with anything concerning locations, people, or historical events just ask!!
Da Rabid Duckie -- Taking Over Your Country In Three Posts Or Less.

Join the Proud Nation of Temuoplis! Koei, Temuoplis!

Law of Japanese Animation #11 (Law of Inherent Combustibility)
Everything explodes. Everything.

In both real life and video games,
anything can be solved through the mass application of explosives. -- The Duck


Da Rabid Duckie, concerning Gypsy wrote:Gypsy doesn't realize this, but she's ditching whomever she's with and we're getting married. Uh huh. Yeah. Lil bro Zilch can be the best man, it'll be an explosive ceremony. Everyone is invited! We'll serve poutine at the reception, Straylight can DJ, and Shatterheart can start a mosh pit!
Gypsy, in acceptance wrote:Explosives and poutine? Alright!
Hey... she said it... :p
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Postby true_noir_chloe » Tue Feb 10, 2004 8:34 pm

Thank you so much for your comment, Mr. Rabid Duckie. I don't know if you could tell, but I've never been to Tupelo and it's very fortuitous that you happen to be from there. I've always wanted to go and visit my sister there. I really based it in Tupelo because the title sounded better than the "Werewolf of Dallas" or the "Werewolf of Ventura County, California," or something. *hehe* "The Werewolf of Tupelo" just rung a bell. So, I read Eudora Welty and other southern writers and watched movies, usually black and whites, that had a Mississippi location to get the dialect. I also called a hotel there and listened to the woman speak. I tend to pick up accents rather easily. The lady at the hotel must have been older.

Schwoo, there is actually a Marriott and an IHOP? That was a guess on my part after looking up the Tupelo Chamber of Commerce website. I thought over, after having travelled and staying in hotels, what kind of pamphlets would be in a hotel and also the general layout of most major cities I've been to.

I would love to talk to you about Tupelo if you're available. I did have some questions for you if you wouldn't mind. I'll definitely be pm'ing you.

Thanks again for your comments. I really appreciated them. ^_^

[size=84][color=seagreen]YOU SEE


You see into the deepest part of me ---

beyond the fog I hide behind.

You cast your light upon the shadows

that stretch like cobwebs in my mind.

You ease the pain when I am hurting,

and morbid visions from my past

pierce into the realm of Reason

as though I danced on blades of glass.

You grant me strength when I have fallen

and, once again, I've lost my way.

You take my hand in Yours and lead me

into the promise of a brand new day.

You bring order to all my chaos,

yet set my well-laid plans awry.

You place me on a firm foundation ---

then give me wings so I can fly.

You sand away my roughened edges

and polish all the dullest parts

until I stand before Your presence...

a newly-sculpted work of art.

You see into the heart within me,

right through my motives and selfish will.

And yet, in spite of all You see

You say You love me even still.


~by D.M.~

[/color][/size]
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Postby EireWolf » Tue Feb 10, 2004 8:41 pm

... and I thought you might've updated. :waah!:

Just kidding; I'm glad to see you have another "source!" :thumb:
"All we have to decide is what to do with the time that is given to us."
[indent]~~Gandalf, in Fellowship of the Ring[/indent]
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Postby Mave » Wed Feb 11, 2004 12:48 pm

wow wow wow!!!

Chloe, I'm so impressed! How did you get the dialogue to sound so authentic(hope I'm using the right words)? The accent and slang really stands out. I kinda felt like I was transported back to the 30s or another culture altogether. I love the storyline and it's very attention grabbing, even for someone who rarely reads like me.... :lol: Great job! :hug: I'm so proud of you! I think I'll visit the Writing Forum more often!
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Postby true_noir_chloe » Wed Feb 11, 2004 1:42 pm

I'm definitely finding out more about the dialogue of modern Tupelo. :red: Thanks Mave and Eire, I'll update after I get the dialogue worked out. This story actually takes place nowadays; otherwise there probably wouldn't be an IHOP, Marriott or an Elvis Park, which was built recently. I thought only the mom had poor grammar, not my other characters; but, I've fixed that with my new edits, since she has two educated siblings, I thought I shouldn't dumb her down quite as much as I did. Sorry.:waah!: I promise I'll fix my attempt at southern Tupelo speak. Again, the story does not take place in the 30's.:eyeroll:

I'd just like to say that I appreciate you guys who have to stuck to reading this. :hug: I need to remind all that I wrote this on a whim, a whim, as an exercise of me trying out a dialect far removed from my own, since I have a very distinct California accent and I talk a mile-a-minute and too much. Hum, kind of like the way I write - waaaay too much.:shake: This was originally an 8,000 word short story that was a study on a disease I originally researched for a murderer in my crime novel that I wrote in 95' or 96'. Thanks to Eirewolf, it is now nearing 100 manuscript pages. This SS has now become a very enjoyable novella to work on.

Anyways, for those who are still reading, I'm sorry I spent so much time explaining the birth of "Werewolf." :grin: And, as I've said, it's only in Tupelo, because it sounded good in a title. Tupelo is just a really cool sounding city name.

[size=84][color=seagreen]YOU SEE


You see into the deepest part of me ---

beyond the fog I hide behind.

You cast your light upon the shadows

that stretch like cobwebs in my mind.

You ease the pain when I am hurting,

and morbid visions from my past

pierce into the realm of Reason

as though I danced on blades of glass.

You grant me strength when I have fallen

and, once again, I've lost my way.

You take my hand in Yours and lead me

into the promise of a brand new day.

You bring order to all my chaos,

yet set my well-laid plans awry.

You place me on a firm foundation ---

then give me wings so I can fly.

You sand away my roughened edges

and polish all the dullest parts

until I stand before Your presence...

a newly-sculpted work of art.

You see into the heart within me,

right through my motives and selfish will.

And yet, in spite of all You see

You say You love me even still.


~by D.M.~

[/color][/size]
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Joined: Wed Sep 10, 2003 12:00 pm
Location: Where Tex-Mex is the best! ^_____^

Postby EireWolf » Wed Feb 11, 2004 2:10 pm

true_noir_chloe wrote:Thanks to Eirewolf, it is now nearing 100 manuscript pages.


Really?? You're blaming it on me???! COOL!!!! :cool: hehehe

When I read it, I didn't feel like it was in the 30s, just... in the South. Of course, I've never been to the South, so don't take my word for it. :sweat:
"All we have to decide is what to do with the time that is given to us."
[indent]~~Gandalf, in Fellowship of the Ring[/indent]
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Postby true_noir_chloe » Wed Feb 11, 2004 2:15 pm

>>Really?? You're blaming it on me???! COOL!!!! :cool: hehehe<<

Yes, all of it, you wolf muse!!! *hahahaha* *hugs*

[size=84][color=seagreen]YOU SEE


You see into the deepest part of me ---

beyond the fog I hide behind.

You cast your light upon the shadows

that stretch like cobwebs in my mind.

You ease the pain when I am hurting,

and morbid visions from my past

pierce into the realm of Reason

as though I danced on blades of glass.

You grant me strength when I have fallen

and, once again, I've lost my way.

You take my hand in Yours and lead me

into the promise of a brand new day.

You bring order to all my chaos,

yet set my well-laid plans awry.

You place me on a firm foundation ---

then give me wings so I can fly.

You sand away my roughened edges

and polish all the dullest parts

until I stand before Your presence...

a newly-sculpted work of art.

You see into the heart within me,

right through my motives and selfish will.

And yet, in spite of all You see

You say You love me even still.


~by D.M.~

[/color][/size]
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true_noir_chloe
 
Posts: 3091
Joined: Wed Sep 10, 2003 12:00 pm
Location: Where Tex-Mex is the best! ^_____^

Postby Da Rabid Duckie » Wed Feb 11, 2004 4:22 pm

true_noir_chloe wrote:Tupelo is just a really cool sounding city name.

Just make sure that you pronounce it correctly ^_^

It's too-pehlo, not tup ello (like the tup in tupperware). I wouldn't ever recommend saying it the wrong way if you call someone here... they get mean. It's weird.
Da Rabid Duckie -- Taking Over Your Country In Three Posts Or Less.

Join the Proud Nation of Temuoplis! Koei, Temuoplis!

Law of Japanese Animation #11 (Law of Inherent Combustibility)
Everything explodes. Everything.

In both real life and video games,
anything can be solved through the mass application of explosives. -- The Duck


Da Rabid Duckie, concerning Gypsy wrote:Gypsy doesn't realize this, but she's ditching whomever she's with and we're getting married. Uh huh. Yeah. Lil bro Zilch can be the best man, it'll be an explosive ceremony. Everyone is invited! We'll serve poutine at the reception, Straylight can DJ, and Shatterheart can start a mosh pit!
Gypsy, in acceptance wrote:Explosives and poutine? Alright!
Hey... she said it... :p
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Postby true_noir_chloe » Wed Feb 11, 2004 5:14 pm

Schwoo, I've been pronouncing it correctly. ~-^ Thanks.

[size=84][color=seagreen]YOU SEE


You see into the deepest part of me ---

beyond the fog I hide behind.

You cast your light upon the shadows

that stretch like cobwebs in my mind.

You ease the pain when I am hurting,

and morbid visions from my past

pierce into the realm of Reason

as though I danced on blades of glass.

You grant me strength when I have fallen

and, once again, I've lost my way.

You take my hand in Yours and lead me

into the promise of a brand new day.

You bring order to all my chaos,

yet set my well-laid plans awry.

You place me on a firm foundation ---

then give me wings so I can fly.

You sand away my roughened edges

and polish all the dullest parts

until I stand before Your presence...

a newly-sculpted work of art.

You see into the heart within me,

right through my motives and selfish will.

And yet, in spite of all You see

You say You love me even still.


~by D.M.~

[/color][/size]
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true_noir_chloe
 
Posts: 3091
Joined: Wed Sep 10, 2003 12:00 pm
Location: Where Tex-Mex is the best! ^_____^

Postby Rachel » Fri Feb 13, 2004 4:59 pm

i can't believe i didn't notice that there was more! i feel so stupid! but yes, it is awesome! sorry. i'm kinda hyper right now.
:rock: I mourn for those who never knew you



Click here for kick booty music!!

American by birth, Texan by the grace of God


This is where you can find me if I'm not on for a while
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Postby Kokhiri Sojourn » Fri Feb 13, 2004 5:15 pm

Hey Chloe - I just wanted to let you know that I've been cutting and pasting this entire thing into Word so I could print it out and read it. I have wanted to for a long time, but I know that it is relatively long, and considering my classes and work, I don't know if that will be sooner, or later. It may be a while until I get to this, but I just wanted to let you know that I'm going to read it as soon as I can.


:jump:
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Need more

Postby PanZ » Mon Sep 27, 2004 7:17 am

I am not one of these types of people who just pick up books and novels and just start reading them. I actually don't read a whole lot but for some unexplained reason i was really drawn to keep reading this story *tries to fight force :bang: uh...uh...uh...just gives in*.This story is really good i am obviously not a critic because i don't read enough but i had no problems with it but that is probably because you have already fixed any errors you may have found.I have been reading all of this in one night. I can't stop and yet you have stopped writing.Need.......more...... :evil: Please write more when you get the chance. Thank you.
Kill the spiders
To save the butterflies
It's rational until you realize
That by striving for it
You become a spider yourself
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Postby true_noir_chloe » Mon Sep 27, 2004 2:22 pm

I am mainly curious, PanZ, how you found this thread? Wow, O_O I haven't paid attention to this thread for a bit. The last post has February on the date, before you came along *heh*.

Thank you so much, however, for your comments. *hug* ^____^ I'm glad it kept your interest so that you want to see how it ends.

Actually, I had let this thread die as I wrote a re-edit and began sending out the manuscript to publishers, because I didn't want it to be on a forum if it was bought. However, if the Lord wills for this to be published one day I will be letting everyone here know about it. *hehe* ~_^

[size=84][color=seagreen]YOU SEE


You see into the deepest part of me ---

beyond the fog I hide behind.

You cast your light upon the shadows

that stretch like cobwebs in my mind.

You ease the pain when I am hurting,

and morbid visions from my past

pierce into the realm of Reason

as though I danced on blades of glass.

You grant me strength when I have fallen

and, once again, I've lost my way.

You take my hand in Yours and lead me

into the promise of a brand new day.

You bring order to all my chaos,

yet set my well-laid plans awry.

You place me on a firm foundation ---

then give me wings so I can fly.

You sand away my roughened edges

and polish all the dullest parts

until I stand before Your presence...

a newly-sculpted work of art.

You see into the heart within me,

right through my motives and selfish will.

And yet, in spite of all You see

You say You love me even still.


~by D.M.~

[/color][/size]
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true_noir_chloe
 
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Joined: Wed Sep 10, 2003 12:00 pm
Location: Where Tex-Mex is the best! ^_____^

Thanks

Postby PanZ » Mon Sep 27, 2004 11:19 pm

I was actually looking for a thread on the flash video "I miss you daddy" and all those words were in this thread so it found this and i am glad it did. I wish you could keep posting but i understand. I really hope that it gets published. I will get a copy when it does. Thanks again for writing it. I will share this thread with all of my friends. Thanks again.
Kill the spiders
To save the butterflies
It's rational until you realize
That by striving for it
You become a spider yourself
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Postby Rachel » Wed Sep 29, 2004 3:44 pm

Darn it! I thought you had written more. *pouts* Hehe. Well if you ever do write more of it, I will be here waiting. And so will Jon-boy probably.
:rock: I mourn for those who never knew you



Click here for kick booty music!!

American by birth, Texan by the grace of God


This is where you can find me if I'm not on for a while
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