Gashapon Hero

[Fireproof]

Gashapon Hero is actually a bit of a project, rather than just a story. I'll be adding regularly to what I have here, but I'm also looking for someone to make some sketches for me, as to augment the story with a trickle of manga-style drawings. If anyone would like to help me by making a sketch or tow, that would be very helpful! Here's the story so far...

GASHAPON HERO
by fireproof

Masato put in a 100 yen coin into the large machine. Hoping for something good, he eagerly turned the large plastic crank. He loved the feeling of the white plastic on his hand and the mechanical noises the machine made as it dispensed his prize. As the machine clicked and clanked, a small, opaque plastic capsule fell into the opening below. Snatching up the small capsule, Masato popped it open as if he were unlocking a treasure chest, waiting for great riches within.
Masato looked in awe as his prize stood before him, a small plastic figure of a knight, glimmering in the dimly lit corner of the store. Masato picked up the figure from the capsule’s base and grabbed the coin sized plastic disc beneath it. Spying the disc, Masato gasped and nearly fell over. This figure’s power stats were among the highest of the game. Flipping the coin over, he heard his treasure’s name for the first time: Dragon Hunter. Masato’s hopes soared. This figure could mean victory for him the next time he played. He was ready to play, and even more ready to win.

[Fireproof]

Time to give all of you some background information:
Masato is living in Tokyo in the year 201X. He lives with his family in a small neighboorhood near a large shopping mall. The newest gaming craze is a game called "Portal Warriors." The game uses small capsule toys, also known as gashapon. Each piece costs 100 yen, and comes with a highquality miniature toy, and a stat disc with a microchip in it. Using these figures and pieces, you can play a strategy game on a chess-board like structre, known as a Portal Arena. Portal Arenas are equipped with microprocessors that keep track of each piece and its stats. Masato started teh game when he played with a couple of friends after Church, but now, he's becoem a serious tournament player. Although he doesn't have the best miniatures or teh msot organized startegy, Masato is determined to win, and his unstopable spirit is just the thing to help him do so.

[Fireproof]

[indent]Masato quickly reassembled his treasure and slipped it into his pocket. With a feeling of pride, he strutted out of the gahsapon corner of the hardware store into the main area, filled with aisles which contained mechanical and electronic doodads and thingamabobs.

On his way out, Masato was stopped by a familair old voice. "Get anything good, Masato?" the voice asked with a nearly joking inquisitive tone.

"Yes, Mr. Iino. I got a very rare figure." Masato siad, turning around to greet the old man behind the counter. Quickly opening the capsule, he showed Mr. Iino his new "treasure."

"A good one, eh?" Mr. Iino said, craning his neck to view the small plastic figure. "That's good. Now, go win some games with that thing." Mr. Iino said in an encouraging tone.

"Don't worry, I will!" Masato said, snatching up the figure and returning it to his pocket. Heading for the door, he waved goodbye to Mr. Iino. Bursting through the old glass door, Masato walked into his home away from home, Portal Alley. Sandwiched between two large buildings, Protal Alley was one of the most popular places in all of Tokyo to play Portal Warriors.

[true_noir_chloe]

Great idea, Fireproof! ^____^ Your first section had better writing than this last installment. Did you edit it more? Anyways, this last one was dialogue, and everyone struggles with dialogue. But, I think you have a great idea for a story, so keep writing. Also, try and seperate the paragraphs - it makes for easier reading.

[Fireproof]

Thank you! I'll run through the second post and fix it up. The reason I can't get the paragraphs to work is that I'm having trouble witht he indent command. But I think I have ti figured out now. Expect another paragraph or two soon.