Broken Legs of Happiness, Blood Dried Inside

[SnoringFrog]

Glassfull of cheer, chugged without regret
Not a shard of glass in it, no hint of pain here
Perfectly amazing, blood on the rocks bliss
Sucked out of life with scarcely a kiss
Pure ecstasy: pungent and amazing
Hops through veins with rejuvinating movement.

Cool shade of night, always the better--
Piles on the pounds, proverbial fetters
Bring together the best, to rot like a corpse
Where is life in their breasts? Nowhere? Of course...
Hand another the glass: mine crashed in my hand
My own blood just cannot satisfy.

Recoil. Relapse. Reclude somewhere safe
Fails to be help; find another way
No use for the many, with one out--collapse
Time for regret? Heh. Wasted guess.
The Author screams, bleeds, sings,
vomits forth his life through pale skins.

So much vomit, stomach knotted for an era
Almost expected, yet I was still unaware.
Fist to the challenge: it will be summited yet
Return to the vampiric, chugging cheer again.
Selfishly now, glass for my hands alone
'Less shared for sake of union.

----

This is one of my more recent pieces. Felt like posting something to see if I could get a few opinions on it. I won't go into a full explanation of what it's about, but I'd love to hear other people's interpretations of it.

[Zarn Ishtare]

I review you, you review me, aight?


At first glance, I thought that this was going to be a poem about alchohol abuse/drunk driving.The alluding to Vampiric elements threw me off abit; obviously the life has been drained, but who, what, why are all questions I would ask. Perhaps eluding to self-destructive behavior? Not quite suicide, but something in that vein. Experience tells me this is likely deeply personal, though there is always a chance you were inspired by a song, a picture, a book...sources of inspiration are endless.

It flows well, though I haven't seen this structure before. Self made or is it a classical structure I don't know?

[Zarn Ishtare]

Also, it had a feminine feel to it; don't know why.

[SnoringFrog]

Sounds good. I'll try to get to something of yours tonight.

And you were right, it is personal. Honestly, it's not much more than a stylish recollection of a day I had. The structure is self-made, and if I'm remembering correctly I just wrote and the first stanza kind of came together so I tried to stick with that. I don't always try to aim for anything specific; I just write and see what happens. I haven't gotten into trying many classical structures yet, though I am interested to at some point.