Metroid: F-Zero Mission

[KagayakiWashi]

Alright, here's a little something I wrote a while ago and have debated on whether or not to post it, but, anyways, here it is. The goal of this story was to make as many references to whatever things I could (Metroid ending pictures, F-Zero special videos, etc.) If anyone can tell me EVERY SINGLE THING I REFERENCE.....you'll get.....a candy (Captain Ginyu grin). Why I wanted to do that, I'm not quite sure. Anyways, I always thought that the F-Zero and Metroid univereses were linked very closely together and being the Nintendo geek I am typed out this story.
I'll give whatever warnings are necessary:

Violence: Some fights ensue, there are explosions, but nothing gory (as in detailed explanations)
Swearing: None, just slang terms that come out as being corny
Sexual content: None really, but Samus is sent to retrieve pictures of herself in swimsuits, and there is an F-Zero swimsuit contest as well as some extremely corny conversations between Samus and other racers.
Drinking: Samus goes to a bar several times, people drink.

Also, Vista is messing around with my document programs, so the easiest way for me to do this is post it chapter by chapter. I'll post the first chapter, and if there's enough interest, I'll keep it going.

Metroid: F-Zero Mission

By
K. Washi

Notice, the characters in this story are owned by Nintendo and are just used by the author for entertainment of the fans of the characters and their respective games. If Nintendo gets a hold of this, please don’t sue me. I like your games…and I’ve already given you enough money…I’m just a fan, so please, don’t sue me.



Chapter One

The galaxy is at peace. The last Metroid has been destroyed. Scientists throughout the galaxy have realized experimentations on Metroids and all related species are dangerous and are not worth the possible outcome. The Phazon incident and its growth of corruption, Dark Samus, have long since been defeated. Furthermore, the entities known as Ridley, Mother Brain and the Space Pirates have been eradicated, thanks to the efforts of Samus Aran and the Galactic Federation. The Galaxy is at peace, and that means Samus Aran, bounty hunter, protector of the galaxy…….is out of a job.
Samus made her way into Galactic Federation Headquarters located on Space Port 99-7X donned in full suit. She had not received a call from General Gunpei since she had dealt the final blow to the Space Pirate base nearly a year ago, and the bounty she had received from that mission had almost been used up.
“Finally. I’ve waited for this,â€

[AJV]

Pretty cool story so far.
Hope to see the rest soon.

[KagayakiWashi]

*Gasp!* I got a response! Thanks for reading! Here's some more:

Chapter 2

Port Town. You'll not find a more wretched collection of villainy and disreputable types in the galaxy. This was truly the scum bucket of the galaxy….but just that galaxy. There are much worse places in the universe, but in the galaxy….Port Town was truly horrific. It was horrific, not in the fact that it was run down…..on the contrary, it was quite nice. It was horrific because it was part of the F-Zero Circuit. And being part of the F-Zero Circuit, it attracted many, many strange people. People who wore very, very weird clothes that looked almost like superhero rejects. This was the headquarters of Goro Goro, and, upon research done through her gunship’s computer, Samus learned that, coincidentally, the F-Zero Grand Prix would be occurring at the same time she was in Port Town. Upon even more research, Samus found out that both Black Shadow and Captain Falcon were entered in the race at Port Town. Even more research revealed there were two Galactic Federation members entered in the race named Jody Summer and John Tanaka. Deeper research uncovered that Jody was a fighter pilot.
“So, they aren’t ashamed of secretaries or fighter pilots being women….but our top bounty hunter….ohhhhh noooooo! Can’t have that!” Samus said to herself. Needless to say, it was a very long flight from Federation HQ to Port Town. Once Samus arrived in Port Town, she crash landed her Gunship on the outskirts of the city. “I really have to learn how to fly this thing,” she told herself.
Once she made it into the city, she decided she needed a drink. She found the closest bar and went in. There, she found the strangest group of people: a fat man in a skin tight white suit, a lizard who chewed his beer bottles, a pink octopus, and a bartender that had four metal arms.
“What’ll it be?” the bartender asked.
“Bzzzzzzz,” Samus buzzed.
“Don’t understand you there sir.”
Samus, kept her helmet on and pointed to a bottle of “Big Blue”.
The bartender handed Samus the bottle then, examining her helmet asked, “How are you going to drink it?”
No sooner had the bartender asked the question when a familiar voice was heard coming closer. Samus turned around.
“….so then I was like, ‘Falcon PAWNCH! Falcon PAWNCH! Twice! Boy I’m amazing!”
“Even so Falcon, but haven’t you come up with any other moves?” a man in a yellow suit with a red scarf asked.
“Well, I thought about doing a Double Falcon Punch, or a Falcon Karate Chop, but those have too many syllables, and would take too long to perform.”
“Smashing! But if you didn’t say ‘FALCON’ this or ‘FALCON’ that or yell your moves out every time, you’d execute them quicker!”
“Maybe, but I’m all about style Dr. Stewart, an…..wait a minute, what have we here?” Captain Falcon noticed Samus, who quickly turned around, trying to hide.
“Is it? Is it? IT IS! Samus! Hahahahahaha! What are you doing here?” Captain Falcon asked.
Samus ignored him and stared at her bottle of Big Blue.
“I’m talking to you….helloooooo…..” Captain Falcon kept on.
“Samus? As in the bounty hunter Samus? As in….Samus who beat you in the destruction of the dangerous Konga beast?” Dr. Stewart asked Captain Falcon.
“Shut up!” Capain Falcon shouted, “Yes, it is, but that’s beside the point.”
“Thankfully I’m not as well known this side of the galaxy,” Samus thought to herself.
“Soooooo,” Falcon continued, “I ended up getting your latest bounty!”
Samus, who been leaning over, straightened up suddenly and turned towards Falcon.
“That’s right. I don’t know why The Federation would take their favorite bounty hunter off this one….but maybe it’s cause I’m cooler. You know I am.” Captain Falcon pointed both his thumbs at the metal appendages on his chest. Samus got up.
“That is so not cool you loser. You think women like that? You’re sick! I’m taking that bounty back and smearing pwnage all over your face. Hahaha I can say all this stuff to your face and I can sound as retarded as possible because you can’t understand me! Nya Nya!” Samus told Captain Falcon through her helmet, which just came out as a bunch of buzzes. Captain Falcon just looked at her.
“Whatever. I would ask you what you’re doing here, but you obviously have a speech impediment!” Captain Falcon laughed.
Samus took her bottle of Big Blue and cracked it on the counter, spilling the contents all over the place. She pointed the bottle towards Captain Falcon.
“Ooooo I’m scared! Hahaha. Let’s go Dr. Stewart. It stinks in here! Besides, I gotta go get used to the track if I’m going to be Black Shadow tomorrow,” Captain Falcon told Dr. Stewart.
“Right-o chap,” Dr. Stewart responded as they made their way out of the bar.
“Hey man, you’ve got that huge gun on your arm, why bust a perfectly good bottle of Big Blue?”
Samus turned and pointed her plasma cannon at the bartender.
“Ok….Ok….I get the idea!”

[AJV]

Yeah I know how you feel...
Anyway, it's looking good so far.

[KagayakiWashi]

Thanks for reading, here's some more:

Chapter 3

“I gotta come up with a plan,” Samus thought to herself, “but what?”
Samus had returned to her gunship and was analyzing the data on Captain Falcon, Black Shadow, Jody Summer, John Tanaka, and the F-Zero track itself.
“I could go after the Goro Goro HQ first….but I don’t want to call attention to myself…well…more attention than a little tussle at a bar. But how to get Black Shadow? Hmmmm….I don’t have to go in as Samus Aran, bounty hunter for The Galactic Federation….heh heh heh. Well, I barely get to use my feminine charms,” she looked at the picture of Black Shadow, “He’s a hulking brute. He’s sure to have a weakness for women. Stupid men. I’ll go after him first. This won’t be hard. He’s sure to be around the track since the race is tomorrow. Now, let’s see,” Samus brought the track info up on the screen. “It’s not to far from here. The Federation officers will recognize my uniform. Gah, what horrendous uniforms we have. Looks like someone’s bad idea of yucky pajamas. I’d get some new clothes but I don’t usually bring money on my missions and I forgot my Federation credit card. Ugh. Why do I get myself in these messes?”
Then, a commercial popped up on the gunship’s display. On the display was a man with pink goggles.
“Attention ladies of Port Town! This is your favorite F-Zero Announcer, Mr. ZERO! Tomorrow is the big race, and you know what that means, it’s the annual Ms. (or Mrs.) Port Town beauty contest! Feeling lucky? Want to win money? Then come out down! All we need is you and a bathing suit!”
Samus remembered that she still had the swimsuits from her photo shoot in the gunship.
“That’s it! I’ll win some money there, get some clothes, and then take care of Black Shadow!”
Samus quickly changed into the black swimsuit she had and made her way to the race track where the contest was going to be held. Once there she made her way to the registration computers.
“Name please,” the contest’s entrance computer asked Samus.
“Oh crap,” she thought, “Uh…..Zamus.” she answered.
“Last name?” the computer asked.
“Just…..Zamus. I don’t have a last name.”
“Figures,” the computer answered.
As Samus made her way to the judging platform she heard someone mention the name “Jody Summer”. She looked behind her and there was Jody Summer as well as some dirty blonde with sun glasses.
“Mrs. Arrow! Are you entering? It looks like it! I don’t think I’ll win now!” Jody told the dirty blonde.
“Yeah, I haven’t in a while. Thought I’d still give it a shot…hahaha.”
“So that’s Mrs. Arrow. I saw Super Arrow’s name in some of Black Shadow’s profile details. That’s his wife. Good grief….she’s got some muscules…..
almost…inhuman for a woman…these F-Zero people are weird,” Samus thought to herself.
“Next contestants please!” Mr. ZERO announced, “Jody Summer, Zamus, and Mrs. Arrow!”
At the name of Mrs. Arrow the crowd went wild, especially a man dressed in an eagle outfit. “Yeah baybee!” he yelled, “Whoo hooo whoo hoooo!”
“Would someone please restrain that…..oh it’s you Super Arrow! My bad! Continue!” Mr. ZERO exclaimed.
Super Arrow continued hooting and hollering. Samus rolled her eyes and sighed.
“Ladies and gentlemen!” Mr. ZERO announced, “Mrs. Arrow has entered the competition! She wins by default!”
The crowd cheered. Samus was startled. “What the heck?” she thought, “Just because her husband is an F-Zero legend? This is so wrong!” Samus clinched her fists and closed her eyes. The crowd cheered on. Then Samus exploded. “This is so wrong!” she yelled to the crowd who started to quiet down at her interruption, “How can you let her win? Just because she’s Super Arrow’s wife, she shouldn’t be allowed to win! I mean look at her! She’s some sort of muscular freak!!!!”
“It seems one of our contestants has never been in a competition before!” Mr. ZERO told the crowd, “If Mrs. Arrow doesn’t win, then Super Arrow will play his guitar for us all and we don’t want that!” the crowd agreed at this statement. “Besides,” Mr. ZERO continued, “with the inclusion of Mrs. Arrow, this contest becomes a ladies’ strength competition, and we all know that none of the contestants here are half as strong as her. Just look at those muscles!” Mrs. Arrow flexed. Super Arrow went crazy once again.
“I beg to differ,” Samus said.
“Who do you think you are, scrawny?” Mrs. Arrow asked Samus.
“Scrawny? Me…..scrawny? How dare you!” Samus yelled as she ran over to a parked Zero machine labeled “02”.
“Hey…..wait a minute….what are you doing?” Jody Summer asked.
“Can you do this? HUH?” Samus lifted the Zero machine over her head and threw it towards an empty space, totaling the machine. The crowd was stunned.
“Umm……” Mr. ZERO said.
“My machine!” Jody Summer cried.
At that instance, a man came running from the crowd yelling Jody’s name. It was John Tanaka.
“You’re under arrest by order of the Galactic Federation!” John Tanaka told Samus.
“I can handle this, John!” Jody told him.
“No! You don’t have any weapons on you!” he responded.
“Oh yeah. Hee hee,” Jody laughed.
John pulled a laser gun out and pointed it at Samus. “Resist and I’ll shoot!” he said. Samus looked at him, put her arms down by her side, and rolled her eyes. “Ah, great,” she thought, “how do I accomplish the mission now? Well….he’s a Galactic officer…so…..”
“Alright. Parlay,” Samus told Tanaka.
“Par—what?” he asked.
“PAR-LAY. You can’t kill me now….by orders of the Galactic Federation Code. I’m to remain a prisoner and alive until I talk to a class 3 officer,” Samus explained to Tanaka.
“Is this true?” Tanaka asked Jody.
“Yes. Don’t you ever study your handbook?” Jody asked Tanaka as he rolled his eyes, answering, “No.”
“Alright, come along, hands on your head,” Tanaka told Samus as he led her to an exit, “Continue!” he told Mr. ZERO.
“But….if this is a strength contest, Mrs. Arrow loses!” Mr. ZERO told Tanaka.
“Mrs. Arrow cannot lose!” Super Arrow shouted, “Give her the win or I play my guitar!” Mr. ZERO paused.
“OK! Zamus loses by forfeit. The winner is Mrs. Arrow by default!” Mr. ZERO told the crowd. There was an explosion from the crowd as well as the hooting and hollering done by Super Arrow.
“Can I at least have some clothes?” Samus asked Tanaka, who continued to lead her to the exit.
“Is that part of parlay?” he asked her.
“No,” Jody, who had joined them answered, “but we’re decent people. We’ll give you some clothes.”
“Thanks,” Samus said, still pondering how to complete her mission, though a solution was forming in her mind.





Chapter 4

Once aboard the Galactic Federation cruiser stationed at the Port Town Space Port, Tanaka and Jody took Samus to the brig, still believing her name to be “Zamus”.
“Thanks to you I can’t use my custom vehicle tomorrow!” Jody told Samus.
“Thanks to you I can’t complete my Galactic Federation mission,” Samus told Jody and Tanaka.
“What?” Tanaka asked.
“That’s right. My name is not Zamus, it’s Samus. Samus Aran: top bounty hunter of the Galactic Federation, and I was on a mission that you’ve botched up. Look my info up,” Samus told Tanaka.
Tanaka touched the wall next to the cell Samus was in and after punching a few buttons found the data on Samus.
“You don’t look anything like this,” he told Samus, “you look a lot better in real life.”
“That’s because I’m not in my Varia suit!” Samus shouted.
“You can’t possibly be part of the Federation!” Tanaka said.
“Why not?” Samus asked.
“Because you’re not Miss Galactic Federation, Jody is!” Tanaka said.
“And what are you implying by that?” Jody asked.
“I…er….nothing,” Tanaka answered, turning red.
“I was probably saving the galaxy on one of my missions! Besides, my true identity is kept sort of a secret. The Federation doesn’t want my face all over magazines and stuff,” Samus explained.
“Sure,” Jody said.
“Fine. Then how do you explain my super strength? It was my Chozo infused blood! Look that up, Dexter!” Samus told Tanaka.
“Mmm….that matches up. But I can’t let you go on that. Explain the nature of your mission,” Tanaka said.
Samus paused and thought for a second. “There is a building I need to bomb. The F-Zero race is my alibi. I was going to race in it tomorrow,” Samus explained.
“Then why weren’t you with us?” Jody asked.
“I’m not part of the normal fleet. I’m a hired bounty hunter,” Samus explained.
“Still why weren’t we informed?” Tanaka asked.
Samus paused again. “The Federation wanted to keep it secret!”
Tanaka sighed. “They’re always keeping secrets from us,” he said, “The Federation must think F-Zero pilots are weird or something. Alright, we’ll provide a vehicle for you, but we still need to know one more thing,” Tanaka told Samus.
“What?” she asked.
“Why do you need us to provide you with clothes?”
“Because all I have is my Varia Suit, a few swimsuits and those dreadful Federation Zero suits!”
“Oh, you know the Zero suits too, huh? You must be from The Federation!” Tanaka concluded, “Well, I don’t really have anything to do in this race. You can take my spot, and machine,” he told Samus.
“Thanks!” she thanked Tanaka.
“What about me?!” Jody asked furiously.
“Oh…heh…well, uh….you can use the spare!” Tanaka said.
“Jee….thanks,” Jody walked off.
“Promise me this, Mr. Tanaka,” Samus said as Tanaka opened her cell, “This is a secret. This whole mission. No one is supposed to find out about this.”
“Yes Ms. Aran!” Tanaka saluted.
“I have to return to my ship to get the explosives and plant them at the target. I’ll return for the Zero machine tomorrow before the race,” Samus said as she walked out of the cell.
“But, Samus…have you ever piloted an F-Zero machine?” Tanaka asked.
“Hey….it’s ok. I’m Samus Aran…..I can do anything….”