Dedecor Occultus (poem)

[Bobtheduck]

Chink chink chink, my chain keeps creaking
Need to patch up 'cause my boat keeps leaking
No need to hide 'cause I saw the proof
There's a lot that hurts more than the straightforward truth

Don't try to protect me. Don't try to ignore.
I don't need your sympathy, it just makes me sore.
Don't try to stay balanced, to just stay aloof.
There's a lot that hurts more than the straightforward truth

Forever... It's just the same story
Over and over and over
I'm tired... I never see reprieve
The same old (stuff) with brand new faces

I just want something, different from now
I don't care much where it comes from or how
But that's just a lie, 'cause I've said it before
I'd just be a liar all the way to the core

I'd been given a task, so the trusting ones thought
Inside it's exact, and for all I have fought
If I let myself down to be what I avoid
Then that old wooden plank won't quite fill in the void

And so, I resign, and give room to the stream
I just wish for one day to wake from this dream
I repeat the lesson I've learned from my youth
There's so much more painfull than the uncensored truth.

(if I didn't conjugate those words right, or put them in the right order, I'm sorry, I had to use latin-english dictionary)

[Anna Mae]

What was that about the latin-english dictionary?

This is a good poem. You make good use of imagery, and your cadence is quite effective. I especially like the reocurring line about truth. The metaphores of which you make use sound authentic, yet suitably esoteric. Oh, and your title is also fitting.

I would be curious as to what prompted the writing of this poem.

[Bobtheduck]

Thanks for your comments!

This was sparked by dealing with something other than the truth, as you might imagine... I wanted someone to be direct and honest, and they were neither and it lead to me finding things out through another person...

[creed4]

Good poem, I noticed the AABB rhyme structure, keep it up

[Bobtheduck]

Good poem, I noticed the AABB rhyme structure, keep it up

Thanks... I'd rather not keep up what prompted this poem... Hopefully a happy one next time ^_^;

I almost consider this a failure because I wanted to write a song when I started, but I couldn't think of a good bridge or chorus (you may see where I attempted to write a bridge) That's usually what I do when I'm feeling upset, I write what I would intend to be song lyrics, but they've never been put to music. I actually wrote a very violent scene in my book today based on similar inspiration...

I have written things when I've been happy, too, but I've been more numb than upset, and more upset than happy, so to see the songs in and of itself is a rare thing, and to see a happy one is rare indeed. I really want to make another happy song. Or a happy moment in my book...

[Magekind]

Aye, the happy ones are hard to come by. But try this: Find something in your life that does please you. Or, envision something that would be pleasing. Usually, if you have the kind of imagination I'm seeing in this poem, you will be able to see and feel the things you're imagining, enough to write a poem.

Don't read life. It's a sad book. WRITE it. That's a much better book.

[Bobtheduck]

Don't read life. It's a sad book. WRITE it. That's a much better book.

That sounds like a quote, and if it's not you're a genius... You may still be even if it is, but hey that's a great quote.

[Dunedan]

Great poem/song... I say so because it does sound like a song to me... I only started taking Latin, um, two days ago? but as far as I know word order usually doesn't matter in Latin. Conjugating does but I have no idea how to do that...

I usually find that writing that comes from inner conflicts create stronger creative works... anger, despair, rejection, heartache, whatever... and usually I can't even write anything unless I'm in a blue patch. But if there exists a place for creative wonders to be made without tragedy and discord, I hope you find it. Then send me a map to it. Or even Mapquest me the address.

-I agree. Great quote Magekind.