Lately when I read arguments about religion and other "hot topics", I always get this strange ache in my body, especially in the heart area, and feel confused or scared. I can't really argue back because I just don't care for arguing about things. It just makes me feel doubtful in my faith and just living in general.
I thought that if I took the Comparative Religions course at my college that I wouldn't be so bothered by it and just hear others opinions without any particular emotion. Although I have gotten a better understanding of other religions, when I'm surfing on the net or a heated discussion arises in a class or among my friends, I clam up and I feel like I'm shrinking. When I think about the situation later on, I just feel like I want to die and get it overwith (not that I'm suicidal or anything. If I die, it won't be by my hands). I don't know if I'm just not strong in my faith or if I'm a pacifist or something.
Well, I needed to get this off my chest. Here seemed as good a place as any.