CAA: Christian Anime Alliance

Have you ever noticed that if you look a person in the eyes, both people instinctively look away. It's like it's taboo to look someone in the eye unless you're flirting or trying to intimidate someone. XP lol

Well, it kinda feels taboo. I often look strangers in the eyes without thinking, then instinctively look away because I know that I have not learned that much about them and that I do not know if I can trust them with my eye contact.




W00t! 2,300th post!

I is stealing ur sowl!!! I dunno, when I talk to people I maintain eye contact. But with ranom passer's-by it's a little to engaging to lock deadlights. That preceds action, so when no action is natural awkwardness ensues. o_0

Men tend to look away more than women do. Women are more intentional and tend to make more eye contact. Next time you notice this, try to keep note of what sex they are.

I tend to look away a lot, but probably because I'm a shy person by nature. Also, I sometimes do that when someone's talking to me to sort of snap me back into focus as I tend to drift off a bit after too long!

If I'm trying to bring a point across, or noticed that I'm looking away, then I will intentionally look people in the eye or meet their gaze.

However, among my friends, we all look eachother in the eye, no problem. Maybe not with extended gazes- that's taboo- but it's not an issue.

I typically look someone in the eye the entire time they're talking. But I break eye contact every so often. Otherwise, it's just awkward-feeling.

I don't like making eye contact with people I don't know. I'll usually just kind of look in the general direction of their face. But with people I know very well, I will make eye contact while talking to them. I don't hold their gaze constantly though-- that just feels weird.

Men tend to avoid eye contact as prolonged eye contact is considered to be some kind of challenge. It's considered a threat.

They also avoid eye contact with women unless they're already talking to them as they think of this as being flirtatious or creepy.

I really can't make eye contact with almost anyone :/ maybe I'm like a guy then? lol I only can if I am trying to make a good impression but then I find myself laughing because I smile too much when I'm nervous lol

When I was in sixth grade and bored with whatever the teacher was talking about, I made up a game where I would try to see how long I could keep eye contact with someone, be it the teacher or another student. If they broke eye contact first, I won (double win if I was looking at the teacher and they thought I was really listening to what they were saying XD), and if I broke it first, they won. The best part about this game is that I was the only one who knew it was being played, and I'm pretty sure I weirded a few kids out when I was staring at them intently from across the room until they broke eye contact. XDD I distinctly remember this one girl trying to figure out what I was looking at, and when she silently asked me during the class, I just shrugged and kept staring. It was awesome; also, I was a weird kid. XDD

Needless to say, I only keep eye contact when necessary these days. XD Usually if I make eye contact with someone on the street or something, I just smile and then continue going about my business. XD

The unspoken rules about eye contact are complete mysteries to me. I have no clue how to do it 'right'. With strangers I probably stare too much, but when I try to correct that I end up acting more nervous than I already am. B(

I'm not sure how I do it with most people I know, but I with my dad (and my mom, when she's saying something important or answering a question), I rarely break eye contact.

In my opinion, people should always be able to look each other in the eyes. Though I know it makes some people uncomfortable, I make a point of doing so. I've noticed self-conscious and shy people tend to avoid eye contact. I feel like people aren't being honest with me if they aren't having eye contact with me. XD Of course, that's just my opinion.

Due to my past, I am uncomfortable with direct eye contact. It feels threatening to me unless I know the other person well. So I look at the other person's forehead or their cheek or their nose.

Shy people don't avoid eye contact out of dishonesty. We're just nervous and kind of frightened.

Usually I like to make eye contact alot during a conversation, but it never seems to last more than a few seconds unless I conciously continue to look into their eyes. Also, out of conversation it just feels like if you look into their eyes for too long that you're being creepy or suspicious.

I was always taught that direct eye contact is respectful, so I always maintain direct eye contact, even with people who scare me.

For many autistic people (and Aspies like myself), eye contact is actually difficult. However, my mother (who at the time she raised me didn't know what Asperger's was) often insisted that I focus on her, so I learned it from her. In fact, I kinda outgrew the eye contact problem.

A lot of this is probably cultural.

Midori (post: 1481795) wrote:A lot of this is probably cultural.

I've been told this as well. Personally, eye contact is really hard for me. It always has been. But it never really was an issue until we came here, or at least not that I knew of. When we moved to the US, people (teachers, coaches, etc) commented it. No one else had before that to my knowledge, aside from my parents.

Midori (post: 1481795) wrote:A lot of this is probably cultural.

Yeah, I was thinking about that earlier, in regards to this thread. XD I think a lot of it depends on how people interact with one another in a culture. I've heard that in some cultures, you avoid eye contact with people you don't know, and in others, eye contact may be encouraged, depending on the amount of space people put between one another when talking. Some of it may have something to do with a person's personality, but I'm sure a lot of it is due to cultural norms, as well.

Darth_Kirby (post: 1481594) wrote:Have you ever noticed that if you look a person in the eyes, both people instinctively look away. It's like it's taboo to look someone in the eye unless you're flirting or trying to intimidate someone. XP lol

Hmm:)? What country?

Yeah, here in Japan eye contact with strangers is pretty rude. And knowing that makes it REALLY uncomfortable/hilarious for me when people stare on the train or in restaurants and stuff.

Self conscious for me, any time I'd had tried to see how long I could look at someone in the eyes, they'd as quick as they could turn away, so I felt bad...

Tigerchu (post: 1481847) wrote:Hmm:)? What country?

In the USA. At least in California.

I think it is very much a cultural thing. For instance, here in the US, if you're in an interview and you don't look your interviewer in the eye they'll think you're lying or trying to hide something. Also if someone's talking to you and you don't look at them, they might think you're not paying attention to them. However, like Yuki mentioned, in other countries, like Japan, it's considered rude to look directly into someone's eyes, especially if you're not close to them.

I also thing there's a difference between looking people in the eye, and staring uncomfortably at their eyes. XD I mean, when you're having a normal conversation with someone, you do glance away occasionally, but you're still looking directly at them for the majority of the time. If you were to stare straight forward, directly into their eyes the entire time, then yes, it would get very awkward.

I think maintaining eye contact is important.. Thought i guess it's just me

rocklobster (post: 1481778) wrote:For many autistic people (and Aspies like myself), eye contact is actually difficult. However, my mother (who at the time she raised me didn't know what Asperger's was) often insisted that I focus on her, so I learned it from her. In fact, I kinda outgrew the eye contact problem.

I have Aspergers.........well a bit but I find it extremely difficult to look people in the eyes. even when I'm comfortable its kinda annoying >.< because everyone thinks I'm lying or nervous all the time lol

Makachop^^128 (post: 1482016) wrote:I have Aspergers.........well a bit but I find it extremely difficult to look people in the eyes. even when I'm comfortable its kinda annoying >.< because everyone thinks I'm lying or nervous all the time lol

lol yeah, my mom thinks me and my brother might have a very mild case of Aspergers. But I'm not so sure. Though I have to admit I'm usually the first person to look away in a conversation.

Darth_Kirby (post: 1482019) wrote:lol yeah, my mom thinks me and my brother might have a very mild case of Aspergers. But I'm not so sure. Though I have to admit I'm usually the first person to look away in a conversation.

yea same here, I have a mild case but its just enough that I alot of times just glance up at the person other then that I look around or at the ground its really embarrassing. I wish there was a way to stop that.