CAA: Christian Anime Alliance

There's something that's been weighing on my mind for a bit, and by weighing on my mind I mean it's really irritating me.

I'm amazed that people always assume that girls are pure, perfect, and innocent, and boys are not to be trusted. Girls are always innocent, even in the case of pregnancy. The boy is the monster who got her pregnant. It appears that people never stop to consider that it takes two to tango.

Some girls love to throw pity parties when they've just broken up with some jerk, yet they refuse to recognize the shy nice guy who might just treat her better because he's "beneath her, or just friend material, or a creepy nerd." Yet, for guys it is expected that they be some macho cardboard cutout who acts like a bad boy.

Society, you make me angry...

Meh, rewind a bit in history or move elsewhere in the country and you'll find the reverse, where what males do in a relationship is ignored and girls are seen as vile seductresses causing every male to sin with lust. I don't see any reason to be angry at anything like this either since silly things like this always exist in societies and tend to shift back and forth between two or several extremes. So, get over it is what I'm saying.

Peanut (post: 1463523) wrote:Meh, rewind a bit in history or move elsewhere in the country and you'll find the reverse, where what males do in a relationship is ignored and girls are seen as vile seductresses causing every male to sin with lust. I don't see any reason to be angry at anything like this either since silly things like this always exist in societies and tend to shift back and forth between two or several extremes. So, get over it is what I'm saying.

Getting over it is for pansies and people who refuse to rant.

That may be true for Middle Eastern society, but for Western society this seems to have become a norm.

I can get where you're coming from, but don't act like it's always guys who have this trouble, look at the topic of sex for example. A woman has sex with more then one man and she's automactically a whore, if a guy sleeps with several girls he's some awesome stud. Double standards man. Not to mention girls are expected to be some hot super models to. Guess I'm way out of luck there.

TopazRaven (post: 1463525) wrote:I can get where you're coming from, but don't act like it's always guys who have this trouble, look at the topic of sex for example. A woman has sex with more then one man and she's automactically a whore, if a guy sleeps with several girls he's some awesome stud. Double standards man. Not to mention girls are expected to be some hot super models to. Guess I'm way out of luck there.

That's what I was bringing up in my OP(slightly). A girl is expected to be pure while a man is expected to be a man-whore.

Yeah, in my schools, it was the girls who were sluts or whores, the guys were awesome.

Now, the break-up/dating thing..... Yeah. I get that double-standard. I've seen my friends do that to guys who are genuinely awesome. Although I will admit that I turned down a guy that asked me out because he teased and made fun of me very badly when I was younger. Even though he became a tolerable person later on, I just couldn't get over how much he made me cry.

I've also had the experience where I've been out with my friends (who I will totally admit are gorgeous- even at my best, I don't measure up. They look like models.) and will get ignored or passed up by guys. No matter what I have to say or how much I try to engage them in conversation, guys will just give me a kind smile like I'm inconveniencing them and move onto my friend.

Seems also that in a series of failed relationships, the girl is less likely to admit she's the common denominator. No offense, but it appears to be a trend.

Yamamaya (post: 1463528) wrote:That's what I was bringing up in my OP(slightly). A girl is expected to be pure while a man is expected to be a man-whore.

Lol, oh alright. Still Peanut is right though, not much we can do about it anyway. And as a side note, I like nerds! Then again, that's probably because I am one. xD

Atria35 (post: 1463530) wrote:I've also had the experience where I've been out with my friends (who I will totally admit are gorgeous- even at my best, I don't measure up. They look like models.) and will get ignored or passed up by guys. No matter what I have to say or how much I try to engage them in conversation, guys will just give me a kind smile like I'm inconveniencing them and move onto my friend.

Jeez, I know how that feels. Like I was saying above. I'm pretty much ignored, especially around my best friend. I've had like one guy constantly ask me out and I'll admit I keep saying no because I don't like him that way. It doesn't have anything to do with how he looks, he just really annoys me. Especially the way he tries to flirt with me sometimes. I tell him I don't like him talking to me like that and he does it anyway so I kind of have to resist the urge to punch him in the face. -_-

I don't like the term "slut" anyway. It implies a standard ("Women are supposed to dislike/not have sex") that I don't agree with. I've tried very hard to remove that word from my vocabulary, because I feel like I'm promoting sexism when I use it (not saying anyone here is doing that, by the way, it's just my personal feelings when I use that word).

Nate (post: 1463535) wrote:I don't like the term "slut" anyway. It implies a standard ("Women are supposed to dislike/not have sex") that I don't agree with. I've tried very hard to remove that word from my vocabulary, because I feel like I'm promoting sexism when I use it (not saying anyone here is doing that, by the way, it's just my personal feelings when I use that word).

I actually completely agree.

I hate sexism when it is applied to women. I hate it more-so when it is applied to men.

I would be biased of course, but I guess that makes sense...

I really need my meds increased today, I had a bad thunderstorm dream and KNEW this was going to happen this week. Hopefully the next part of the dream is true also.

Nate (post: 1463535) wrote:I don't like the term "slut" anyway. It implies a standard ("Women are supposed to dislike/not have sex") that I don't agree with. I've tried very hard to remove that word from my vocabulary, because I feel like I'm promoting sexism when I use it (not saying anyone here is doing that, by the way, it's just my personal feelings when I use that word).

This. I don't like the word whore either, but I was trying to make a point above, so yeah.

Yamamaya (post: 1463518) wrote:There's something that's been weighing on my mind for a bit, and by weighing on my mind I mean it's really irritating me.

I'm amazed that people always assume that girls are pure, perfect, and innocent, and boys are not to be trusted. Girls are always innocent, even in the case of pregnancy. The boy is the monster who got her pregnant. It appears that people never stop to consider that it takes two to tango.

Some girls love to throw pity parties when they've just broken up with some jerk, yet they refuse to recognize the shy nice guy who might just treat her better because he's "beneath her, or just friend material, or a creepy nerd." Yet, for guys it is expected that they be some macho cardboard cutout who acts like a bad boy.

Society, you make me angry...

I think you are assuming people think that girls are pure, innocent etc. To be honest I've seen it as a female that girls are anything but. In fact, I was pressured and made fun of in middle school (called a dike etc) because I hadn't had sex with anyone. This was by other girls.

My sister became pregnant when she was 17. It was viewed as being both her and her boyfriend's decision rather than one or the other. My family did not see it as the evil boyfriend's fault but rather that they both knew the risks of no protection etc.

For myself, all boyfriends I did eventually date were what would be considered "nerds" - they all worked or ran for computer companies. Which wasn't on purpose but odd in itself. My current boyfriend is a techy as well.

The only thing I see in this is to be cautious of generalizing. While yes we all see contradictions within our society and how people assume one thing or the other. Its also easy to generalize that all people feel this way rather than to see it as a person's personal decision.

Just my opinion.

TopazRaven wrote:I don't like the word whore either

I'm slightly more lenient regarding that word, because it's a profession...granted, it's an insulting, negative way to describe that profession, but still. I wouldn't want someone to call a woman that, but at any rate, it's not like people use the word correctly anyway so I guess it's a moot point.

Girls are not innocent victims! In fact, they're often the cause of the problem. Sheesh, we live in such a pathetic society which is too concerned about sexism.

I think we're not concerned enough about sexism. Or racism. People like to dismiss them as "not problems" which is in itself sexist and racist.

aliveinHim (post: 1463569) wrote:Girls are not innocent victims! In fact, they're often the cause of the problem. Sheesh, we live in such a pathetic society which is too concerned about sexism.

Uh...... What?

Please clarify this statement, as I have a bajillion things I'd like to say to that.

Nate (post: 1463565) wrote:I'm slightly more lenient regarding that word, because it's a profession...granted, it's an insulting, negative way to describe that profession, but still. I wouldn't want someone to call a woman that, but at any rate, it's not like people use the word correctly anyway so I guess it's a moot point.

I can see what you're saying, I just only ever heard it used to hurt someone and that includes me or my friends so I suppose I'm a bit sensitive.

aliveinHim (post: 1463569) wrote:Girls are not innocent victims! In fact, they're often the cause of the problem. Sheesh, we live in such a pathetic society which is too concerned about sexism.

See, I'm sorry, but to often I see the girl blamed to often for things. I literally came across a few sites that said if premarital sex ever happens it's the girl's fault, because guys can't control themselves once they're turned on. Please spare me. I'm not a guy, so I can't really know, but if sex happens at all it's a two person decision, not one (unless it's rape or something, but that's a different subject then what I'm talking about here). When it comes to other areas, both men and women can 'cause trouble.' You get it in every gender. Not just one.

I just wish my insurance payments weren't high simply because I am male.

I think you're assumption on what people think about girls is flawed. Girls (just like anybody) can be nasty and vile and I've seen it. Furthermore you're probably around people in their late teens-early twenties. Generally speaking, not everyone has matured at this point. While age doesn't always correlate to maturity, it often does and what you're talking about doesn't happen as often around people who have aged more.

Sure, not everyone is willing to take responsibility and other people will defer blame. So what? That's on them. It's nothing for you to get worked up about. You're letting yourself get angry.

And lastly, yes it's nice and boosts our ego when other people validate and affirm us. But that works best when supplemented on top of your own self-respect. Work to become a healthy and wholesome individual and surround yourself with other healthy and wholesome people.

Rusty Claymore (post: 1463583) wrote:I just wish my insurance payments weren't high simply because I am male.

Uh.... On one hand I can see your point, but on the other, I think a little more goes into it than the insurance companies thinking 'hey, we can milk more cash outta men, so let's raise their prices!'.

Rusty Claymore wrote:I just wish my insurance payments weren't high simply because I am male.

While I understand (and agree!) this isn't really a double standard.

Yamamaya (post: 1463518) wrote:...they refuse to recognize the shy nice guy who might just treat her better because he's "beneath her, or just friend material, or a creepy nerd." Yet, for guys it is expected that they be some macho cardboard cutout who acts like a bad boy.

It really is less about being a bad boy and more about being an assertive masculine man. The biblical role of a husband is to be a leader -- being shy and nice generally boils down to avoiding confrontation, people pleasing, and minimal risk taking.

They refuse to recognize the shy nice guy because being a spineless yes man is not an attractive quality.

I really don't think being a "nice guy" makes you spineless.

While I understand (and agree!) this isn't really a double standard.
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It isn't a double standard, but it certainly qualifies as prejudice. They are judging my driving nature to be aggressive without even meeting me. You shouldn't be able to say, "your male you pay more, hello female we like you come over here for the discount rate". When you start driving, there should be a flat rate for everyone - if you get caught driving aggressively, whether you're male or female, your rates should go up the same (and the weight of other future statistical aggressive drivers should fall on their end of the bill... if you want to drive aggressively you can pay through the nose in insurance. Nobody wants you on the road anyways). It would be just as wrong to judge people on the basis of their skin color by bringing up statistic about people being, black, white, asian or latino.

You can't choose your skin color and you can't choose your gender, and making assumptions about the personality of a person on the basis of those qualities is wrong.

Roberts wrote:being shy and nice generally boils down to avoiding confrontation, people pleasing, and minimal risk taking.

I don't see how any of these things are negative qualities.

Nate (post: 1463597) wrote:I don't see how any of these things are negative qualities.

That really doesn't surprise me.

I'm pretty sure most girls wouldn't want to date a confrontational, inconsiderate, or generally reckless guy.

Roberts wrote:That really doesn't surprise me.

...because...?

Roberts (post: 1463594) wrote:It really is less about being a bad boy and more about being an assertive masculine man. The biblical role of a husband is to be a leader -- being shy and nice generally boils down to avoiding confrontation, people pleasing, and minimal risk taking.

They refuse to recognize the shy nice guy because being a spineless yes man is not an attractive quality.

Being nice or shy doesn't make you a spineless coward. Just saying. I've known plenty of shy, kind people who knew how to speak up for themselves and others when the time was needed. Personally I really find the whole macho, agressive, dominant alpha male bit highly annoying.