Operating a PC

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Operating a PC

Postby Furen » Sun Dec 26, 2010 2:38 pm

This is fun, but there's something behind it as well, try to figure it out who did it, and why. (What it is about may be something fun too)

Your New PC
Specifications:
* Standard Input: Bilateral frontal tactile sensor array
* Bilateral adjustable audio dishes (range: 20-20,000Hz)
* Stereoscopic scanning device w/night vision
* VelcroTM flavor sampling device/energy collector
* Odor sampling devices in assorted colors pink, grey and black (2)

Standard Output:
* Internally mounted purr-box
* Single speaker with separate growl mode
* Rear-mounted, fully-jointed semaphore device

Processor:
* Parallel neuron array with Random Access Memory and Autonomic control of system softwarePC, showing byte-to-bit conversion array

Included Hardware:
* Calcium-based skeletal structure
* Byte-to-bit conversion array
* Retractable document shredder/hole-punch
* Paw-pad printer
* Mouse (Standard Catnip)

Also included:
* natural-fiber protective covering in various colors

System software:
* your PC will come preloaded with one of the following:
* DOS (DOmestic Shorthair)
* OS (Other Shorthair)
* MS (MegaSoft, installed in units with fuzzy covering)
* Conversion to UNIX can be done by a simple operation. This is recommended to prevent the proliferation of cheap PC clones.

Bundled software:
(May include the following)

* Mortal Kombat
* Acrobat
* Explorer
* Stuffit Expander

Your PC will automatically convert from laptop to desktop as needed. There are no user-serviceable parts inside.

Operating your PC:
To start up your PC, push the power button (on any electric can opener). Your PC has an energy-saving mode known as Sleep. Your PC will Sleep automatically if unused for a short period of time, or you may invoke Sleep mode by placing your PC in a soft, warm area. To wake your PC from Sleep, you may press the power button as in Start, shake the mouse, or tap any of the PC's input devices (see specs).

To perform a warm boot:
Remove your shoe, then tap the PC gently with your toes.

To perform a cold boot:
Same technique as for warm boot, but leave your shoe on.

To reboot:
Repeat the warm boot.

Cleaning your PC:
Use only mild soap and water, no solvents. Surface wash only. Total immersion is not recommended. If partial immersion is necessary, wear proper hand and face protection and make sure your PC is fully dry when finished.

Compatibility and networking:
Your PC is designed to independently assess compatibility with other PCs. Running UNIX will generally give your PC greater compatibility with other PCs. It may be necessary to install a firewall between incompatible PCs as each may attempt to breach the other's security systems. Compatible PCs may share thermal energy and cleaning tasks and may network for gaming purposes. Please note that your PC will be incompatible with units of type BIRD and FISH unless appropriate security measures (such as a firewall) are installed. Your PC may tolerate one or more DOG units provided they occupy a subordinate position within the hierarchical structure.

Power requirements:
* Alternating supply of canned cat food and dry cat food
* Direct supply of water
* Direct access to solar and thermal energy sources

Troubleshooting:
PC HAS DIFFICULTY EXITING:
Perform a warm boot.

PC SHARES FILES FROM DINNER/TABLE/PLATES WITHOUT PERMISSION:
Boot your PC prior to running food-related software.

PC HANGS UP PHONE DURING CONNECTION TO ISP:
Try invoking sleep mode prior to connecting to ISP. Otherwise, perform a warm boot.

PC IS FROZEN:
PC is probably scanning for small life forms. Reboot until it responds.
And this I pray, that your love would abound still, more and more with real knowledge and all discernment. Be prepared to preach the gospel at a moment's notice. Do you know the gospel well enough to do so yourself? Be ready.
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Postby Rusty Claymore » Sun Dec 26, 2010 2:46 pm

Haha, that's neat! XD
Proverbs 31:32 "...when she watches anime, she keeps the room well lit and sits at a safe distance."
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Postby Furen » Sun Dec 26, 2010 2:47 pm

d'ja figure it out?
And this I pray, that your love would abound still, more and more with real knowledge and all discernment. Be prepared to preach the gospel at a moment's notice. Do you know the gospel well enough to do so yourself? Be ready.
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Postby Rusty Claymore » Sun Dec 26, 2010 3:04 pm

Yup. I own three. n.n/)
Proverbs 31:32 "...when she watches anime, she keeps the room well lit and sits at a safe distance."
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Postby Furen » Sun Dec 26, 2010 3:23 pm

So guess who put it on the web?
And this I pray, that your love would abound still, more and more with real knowledge and all discernment. Be prepared to preach the gospel at a moment's notice. Do you know the gospel well enough to do so yourself? Be ready.
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Postby Rusty Claymore » Sun Dec 26, 2010 3:26 pm

Did you?
Proverbs 31:32 "...when she watches anime, she keeps the room well lit and sits at a safe distance."
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Postby MomentOfInertia » Sun Dec 26, 2010 3:30 pm

It's a cat.


Do you have any more?
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Postby Furen » Sun Dec 26, 2010 3:38 pm

Correct, no I don't have any other ones...

I found this on a Christian site (Link here)
it was made for people trying to learn about their newly acquired PC (and not ***** cat this time) to stumble on it and maybe look around for a bit.
And this I pray, that your love would abound still, more and more with real knowledge and all discernment. Be prepared to preach the gospel at a moment's notice. Do you know the gospel well enough to do so yourself? Be ready.
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Postby Warrior4Christ » Sun Dec 26, 2010 4:17 pm

Clever.... but the audio range is wrong. That's the human hearing range (which confused me at first). The cat's range is 55Hz to 79,000Hz (according to Wikipedia).
Everywhere like such as, and MOES.

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Postby Furen » Sun Dec 26, 2010 4:28 pm

Oh thanks I'll fix that
And this I pray, that your love would abound still, more and more with real knowledge and all discernment. Be prepared to preach the gospel at a moment's notice. Do you know the gospel well enough to do so yourself? Be ready.
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Postby mechana2015 » Sun Dec 26, 2010 5:02 pm

Some of these also operate as laptops.
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Postby Furen » Sun Dec 26, 2010 6:57 pm

mechana2015 (post: 1446725) wrote:Some of these also operate as laptops.


yep, you are correct

Your PC will automatically convert from laptop to desktop as needed. There are no user-serviceable parts inside.
And this I pray, that your love would abound still, more and more with real knowledge and all discernment. Be prepared to preach the gospel at a moment's notice. Do you know the gospel well enough to do so yourself? Be ready.
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Location: Mostly at my PC, but meh, I can be wherever.

Postby mechana2015 » Sun Dec 26, 2010 9:26 pm

Furen (post: 1446755) wrote:
Your PC will automatically convert from laptop to desktop as needed.


They are transformers in disguise.
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Postby Furen » Sun Dec 26, 2010 9:27 pm

mechana2015 (post: 1446794) wrote:They are transformers in disguise.


I always thought there was more than meets the eye...
And this I pray, that your love would abound still, more and more with real knowledge and all discernment. Be prepared to preach the gospel at a moment's notice. Do you know the gospel well enough to do so yourself? Be ready.
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Location: Mostly at my PC, but meh, I can be wherever.

Postby ChristianKitsune » Mon Dec 27, 2010 11:12 pm

I own a reFURbished PC. She doesn't process the way other PCs do, but she's still a very good laptop. :3
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Postby Furen » Mon Dec 27, 2010 11:27 pm

ChristianKitsune (post: 1447020) wrote:I own a reFURbished PC. She doesn't process the way other PCs do, but she's still a very good laptop. :3


We just recently got our two reFURbished.
And this I pray, that your love would abound still, more and more with real knowledge and all discernment. Be prepared to preach the gospel at a moment's notice. Do you know the gospel well enough to do so yourself? Be ready.
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Joined: Mon Jul 26, 2010 9:39 pm
Location: Mostly at my PC, but meh, I can be wherever.


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