Sexality is something that in modern times has been glorfied and shown off as something natural and acceptable in media all over the world. The question is, is this really true? After all, the bible outright says it is a sin. Here is my beliefs on the matter. I remember when I was in high school sex seemed to be what was on everyone's mind. Personally, I didn't get it. I was the awkward, mildly nerdy anti-social kid who hardly ever talked. I had very few friends and was unfortunate enough to have almost no classes with any of them. Lunch time was always the worst for me. I'd have to pathetically squeeze in at the edge of some table and hope the other people there would take pity on me and leave me alone. If I couldn't find a seat or felt bullied I'd quickly escape to the peace of the school library. I remember in my junior year I was lucky enough to make friends with a girl in my gym class. I finally had a place to sit at lunch! Unfortunately, there where some other not so nice people at this particular table. There where two Spanish girls who once spent an entire lunch period asking me the same question over and over again. Everyone seemed to know what they where asking but me, they all giggled and snickered but didn't let me in on what was so funny. I'm honestly not very good at understating accents and theirs was a bit thick. What where they asking? "Are you a virgin?" The answer was obviously yes, but when I finally understood what they where asking I asked them in return, "why would you want to know?" They just laughed and left.
I still to this day don't understand what the point of that was, but it seemed throughout high school people seemed to know even if they didn't know me personally. It was like I was wearing a huge, "I am a virgin!" sign on my forehead or something. I felt ashamed and embarrassed. I was the only one out of my friends who was a virgin, I'd never even had a boyfriend before. In fact, I've still never had a boyfriend. I still remember in freshman year, I was walking down the hall with two of my friends and they told me how they lost their virginity. I was 16, they where 15 if I remember right. I was horrified inside. I felt so awkward, I didn't want to know this. They both seemed to have lost it to their boyfriends, both which they broke up with soon afterwords. I always felt like they might have judged me because I had not had an experience like this myself. They acted like it was normal. My best friend lost her virginity to her first real boyfriend when she was 16. He cheated on her not to long later and broke her heart. Why are young teenagers willing to so easily give it up? Look at the pain it causes! I think I understand why God has listed pre-marital sex as a sin. He's trying to protect us. There are many terrible consequences. Unwanted pregnancy, STDS as well as heart break and emotional pain. I have a friend who has been through two abortions in the past two years and an older half-sister who had one.
Sex is so glorified in media, nobody ever really stops to think about the consequences. Regardless of wither they are a virgin or not, some people will go at it upon just meeting! The fact that sex has been turned into something purley for pleasure is indeed sickening. People using each other for their own satisfaction. Yet, and you may not agree with me as is your right, I do think in a way sex is a natural desire. Wither we want to admit it or not, we are animals. As animals we do then have animal-like urges from time to time. What is the difference? Unlike a cat or a dog, we know right from wrong and we have, for the most part I believe, a higher understanding of things. So people claiming to have random sex just because it is a natural desire and that they should give into their feelings rather then deny them are in my opinion, just making up excuses. Am I giving off mixed signals here? Probably. I do not think promiscuity is acceptable in the least. However, sex within a loving and committed relationship, where you truly think this is the person you want to spend your life with (regardless if you are married or not) with protection, is acceptable in my book. Many of you will disagree with me. That is fine. Emotion and intimacy play a big part in sex. Which is why often when people are in love they want to be able to share in this special type of bond and emotion. It is not something I can ever hope to fully explain or understand because I have never felt it, but I can understand others who have.
My choice for myself? I'm waiting for marriage, but I don't judge others who choose not to wait. Why am I picking this particular choice for me? Many reasons.
1. ) Even at 21 years of age I am in no way possible ready for sex. The thought honestly horrifies me. It scares me out of perhaps the selfish fear of pain, not only physically but emotionally. And also the worry of unplanned pregnancy or disease. I'm no where near ready to be a mother either.
2.) Nothing in my life has ever happened to make me this way, but I am a very untrusting and paranoid person prone to much worry.
3.) Because I am so untrusting I would need to meet a man who would be willing to be patient with me and understand my beliefs which is why if I ever do go on a date someday I plan to tell him of my views right off the bat.
4.) If I love him and know he truly loves me and he is kind and patient with me then I will know we are meant for each and to me, that calls for marriage.
5.) Sex is not a top priority in my life. I think I could go through life and never have it. Sometimes I do yearn to be with someone, but not in a sexual way. I've always considered myself a non-romantic person, but sometimes I find myself daydreaming about how nice it would be even to just be in the presence of someone I care about and who cares about me in return.
Mind you, I'm not all innocent. No one is reallt are they? I will not lie and say I have never read a sex scene in a novel or a fanfiction, but I do not feel as if it has corrupted my mind. I am no longer ashamed of my virginity, but instead rather proud of it. Of course, I do not let this pride get to my head though.
I know what I want for myself in the future as far as a relationship goes and stubborn as I am I'll hold on to it for dear life. Lord help the poor man who has to put up with me. Not only am I untrusting, I can be quite pushy and moody at times to. Besides, I might be able to read sex, but I could never watch it, if that even makes sense. The thought kind of grosses me out. Why would you want to watch two random people going at it? I don't believe in porn. The things those people must go through every day is enough to turn me away from it besides the fact that I don't want to see it. I had the misfortune of my friend dragging me through a store called Spencer's yesterday which pretty much has 'adult' items everywhere and she kept trying to show me stuff well...shaped like the male reproductive organ. I could not look I was so embarrassed! My friends all think me a prude. Though really I'm kind of far from it. I'll admit it. Let God have mercy on me, because I think it's just a part of my personality now. It's strange isn't it though? I have no interest in having sex myself, but I'm kind of a pervert. What in the name of potatoes? Still, feel no need to see naked bodies! Do not want! Lol, by the way the anime review section has been very helpful to me on that category. I like to avoid anime (or anything really) with full on nudity. So thanks to anyone who has ever written an anime review on here!
So my question to you all is, how do you feel about the matter? What do you believe? Do you think me sinful for my veiws? I have been told a few times now that, because I have a few different beliefs, that I am not a real Christian and have brought God's wrath upon me. I love God, I believe Jesus Christ died on the cross to cover our sins and that he is our savior and I study the bible. Plan to read it every day. Just started in Genesis yesterday. Do not these things make me a Christian? Yes, perhaps not a real Christian, but I would still like to think of myself as one. Now, once again, I hope I have not angered or offended anyone! I now bring this to a close! God bless you all and have a nice night!
