MSN Faith-Dating Advice

[Kunoichi]

I found this interesting and wanted to know what you guys would advise to this gentlemen. Being somewhat in the same situation, I would also find it helpful.

http://msn.match.com/msn/article.aspx?articleid=9499&menuid=8&lid=428

[Nate]

That link doesn't work for me, so I don't know what I'd advise 'cuz I can't read it. XD

[Sheenar]

I don't want to go into theological territory --so I'll just say that I don't agree with what Margot and "Boo" advised this man --it just doesn't sit right with me.

I'd advise him to keep praying for her and to be counseled by their pastor together. And leave the rest to God --her walk with God is between her and God --all he can do is pray --and not try to force things on her--but treat her with compassion as someone struggling.

[Yuen Fei Lung]

Hm, it's an interesting article but I also can't say I agree with it.

*nods* I agree with Sheenar. Really all you can do is pray for those who have lost faith and leave the rest to God.

I can tell you from personal experience though that for me, dating someone who is a non-Christian just did not work because it caused so many problems and conflicts. For example, I've found that many non-Christians support things like abortion, homosexual marriage, legalization of drugs, ect. So for me personally, it just caused way too many conflicts (and I'm a pretty non-confrontational person).

I think that in the end it totally depends on the two people involved. If you love a person, really all you can do is pray that they will find God and stick by them. However, if you feel that it causes too many conflicts within the relationship and is making you second guess being with the person; perhaps it's better to to take a step back and just be friends (depending on the level of commitment you have in your relationship of course).

May God bless you Kunoichi. I hope this helps.

[Tsukuyomi]

That link doesn't work for me, so I don't know what I'd advise 'cuz I can't read it. XD

Here you go, Nate ^^
[quote]Dear Margot,
How do you handle a partner who isn’t living for the Lord at the moment? She says, “It’s a blank wallâ€

[Yuen Fei Lung]

I think what you said makes perfect sense Tsukuyomi. ^^ Nothing came out wrong. I think that sometimes people do dwell on such issues too much in a relationship.

But I also think that for some people having similar beliefs is important when it comes to relationships in some ways. That's not to say that everything has to be the same... I mean, differences are good (if I met a girl who was exactly like me, I'd be scared! *L*). But I think a lot of times when people are in a long-term relationship they begin to think "how would this work if we got married". A lot of times whether a person is a Christian or not has a huge effect in the way they'd raise a family. But perhaps I'm straying from the topic at hand too much?

I'm hoping what I wrote above made sense... I'm finding it rather hard to articulate what I want to say tonight.

[Tsukuyomi]

I think what you said makes perfect sense Tsukuyomi. ^^ Nothing came out wrong. I think that sometimes people do dwell on such issues too much in a relationship.

But I also think that for some people having similar beliefs is important when it comes to relationships in some ways. That's not to say that everything has to be the same... I mean, differences are good (if I met a girl who was exactly like me, I'd be scared! *L*). But I think a lot of times when people are in a long-term relationship they begin to think "how would this work if we got married". A lot of times whether a person is a Christian or not has a huge effect in the way they'd raise a family. But perhaps I'm straying from the topic at hand too much?

I'm hoping what I wrote above made sense... I'm finding it rather hard to articulate what I want to say tonight.

No no, it all made sense It's perfectly understandable . Opposites do attract, but at least have your beliefs the same. It's just.. to bad there isn't an "in between", you know? I've heard about some friends being in that situation before, and all that came out of it was break up and heart break. I'm not saying to not get into that type of relationship at all, but.. it would spare you of heartbreak in the end.. wouldn't it?

[Yuen Fei Lung]

Thanks. ^_^

I really think not getting into a relationship with someone who has different faith is best. I mean, I'm not saying it couldn't work if you had two people who really cared for each other and were very understanding about each others viewpoints but from my own personal expierance dating non-Christians just hasn't worked out. There again, love is just so complex no matter who you date these days no matter what their background or religion is.

[NekoChan_C]

Well, I have to say that as a woman in a situation that is only a few steps removed from the one written about, I actually agree with a great deal of what "Boo" said.

There is always a line that we have to draw for what is acceptable in out lives and what isn't. And faith and the practice of faith seems to be very important to this guy, Martin. Now, it could be that he discovered God after committing to this relationship (one that I am going to suppose isn't a marriage, given his wording) then he wasn't seeking to be with a non-believer when they got together. However, if he knowingly began dating a woman who had fallen from her faith, I think he made a gross misjudgment.

The Bible says "Do not be unequally yoked" and for GOOD reason... There are a number of issues and conflicts that arise when one partner is a Christian and one is either agnostic, atheistic or "backslidden"...

Personally, if he has invested a long time in the relationship and his girl is open to renewing her relationship with Jesus, I say pray and stay!
If she flat out doesn't want to be "bothered" by his "religion", then he may need to back off of the romantic aspect and be her friend, and still PRAY.
Either way, it isn't his responsibility to save her... It is his responsibility to live as a witness for the glory of God and not be a stumbling block to her.

solo mi dos centavos...

[Kat Walker]

I get the feeling that the person in the original MSN article is just a lapsed Christian, not really a non-believer. In that case, I suppose there's more potential to work with.

But even if the person believes, it is possible to be 'unequally yoked'. For example, a new Christian with a more experienced one. Or one that has a stronger faith with one who believes but is more prone to temptation/doubt/etc.

In cases like that, patience is needed if you choose to continue the relationship, but it isn't completely hopeless. But just pray God will not allow you to marry someone that is not right for you.