Postby Kaligraphic » Mon May 14, 2007 11:37 am
As a new iPod owner, you will need to take note of the care and feeding requirements of your iPod. To this end, I offer some useful tips:
1: iPods are allergic to water. If your iPod is thirsty, give it electricity, not water. iPods are picky in what they drink, so be sure to give them the right kind of electricity. A computer or iPod charger should be able to provide the correct kind of electricity.
2: iPods are also picky eaters. Do not feed your iPod dog or cat food, as this can upset its delicate stomach. Likewise, table scraps and other pet foods are not recommended. iPods eat music files. These files can be obtained by "ripping" CDs*, or through services such as Apple's iTunes Store. Some musical groups even release some music files for free, as advertisement.
3: If you are the sort of person who buys dog and cat clothing, you should be aware that there also exists clothing for the iPod. Various cases, covers, and clips are available to tell the world that you are an iPod-sweater-buying type of person.
4: iPods have a naturally sedentary lifestyle. Do not expect your iPod to run and jump like a dog. This is just begging for disappointment. Despite this, if you provide the motive power, your iPod will happily accompany you on walks and trips in your hand, pocket, case, cup holder, or other method of carrying.
5: Use of iPods to steal software or music is considered iPod abuse, and is frowned upon by the American Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to iPods. Likewise, using your iPod as a weapon to beat to death family members, friends, acquaintances, or strangers is not advised. Not only would such an attempt be likely to incite action by the ASPCI, but it can damage your iPod.
[size=75]* "ripping" a CD is a figurative term, referring to reading the CD and creating music files from the music stored on the CD. It is a non-destructive process, and does not involve physically ripping the disc."
The cake used to be a lie like you, but then it took a portal to the deception core.