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Is it just me. ..

PostPosted: Tue Mar 20, 2007 5:54 am
by bakura_fan
Or is politeness not an issue in our society anymore?
Example: Yesterday i went shopping at wallmart. The lady rang me up, I paid, she bagged everything and walked off. However, she bagged the stuff and left it sitting on the counter. While she talked to the next cashier about when she got off that evening, she watched me put the bags in my own cart. . .lovely eh?
I've dealt with people like this before, but in all honesty it seems that it keeps increasing. Is it like, mandatory to have a rude streak nowadays for you to work somewhere? =_= if that's the case, no wonder I'm not getting a job. . . :bang:

PostPosted: Tue Mar 20, 2007 6:17 am
by Warrior 4 Jesus
Yeah, I've had plenty of that also. It's not cool, but the world's going to crap, it's not a surprise, just really disappointing.
Good to see you back mate!

PostPosted: Tue Mar 20, 2007 6:46 am
by JediSonic
Hey, you're back too? I didnt notice you were gone (go figure)!

Anyway, I certainly hope it's not mandatory! I guess just seek out polite people in life, they tend to be more likable anyhow : )

PostPosted: Tue Mar 20, 2007 9:24 am
by TheMelodyMaker
I tell you, if anyone were caught doing that where I work they'd be given a really stern talking to. What poor customer service! >_<

PostPosted: Tue Mar 20, 2007 9:50 am
by Zarn Ishtare
Dear, do you live in Southern North America? Specifically, away from the cities?

Southerners just don't do that kind of mess. Well, the city-folk do, but that's their problem.

PostPosted: Tue Mar 20, 2007 9:51 am
by The Doctor
The price America pays for becoming a world superpower and the wealthiest nation on earth (the latter soon to be taken by China, me thinks) is that the people who reside in said prosperous nation become lazy and forget about the things that are really important (like God).

Of course, the core problem of everything is sin, but I theorize, and admit that this theory is open to debate and correction, that when America became prosperous parents began doing everything they could to give their children the life they never had.

They gave their kids all their hearts' desires and sheltered them from the harshness of real life, and rarely told their kids no.
The result was spoiled brats who thought only of themselves and despised their own parents.

I'm not saying it's wrong to give your children gifts. God even wants to and enjoys blessing us. But God also knows when to say "no" or "wait" and that's something I think parents have forgotten to say.

I'm also not saying that America becoming a superpower is a bad thing, nor am I saying that us becoming the wealthiest nation on Earth is bad either. If you read the Bible, God raises up the leaders of the world, the superpowers, and He does it all according to His own Will. So the wrong does NOT lie in us becoming great. The error lies in our society's response to God's blessing.

I'm thankful my parents drilled into me politeness. They've done everything they can to give me a good life and mold me into a Godly man. I'm thankful for that, and am sad that most parents do not take that same approach.

PostPosted: Tue Mar 20, 2007 9:54 am
by Fish and Chips
We've traded social politeness for political correctness. Bad move.

PostPosted: Tue Mar 20, 2007 10:49 am
by Kurama
Tell me about it!! o.o We just got a new Wallmart so me and my Mom wnet shopping and at the posta isle, these kids had just dropped a spegetti box and it spilt all over the floor, so the kida started picking them up and the Mom just takes her foot and scoots some noodels under theer isle shelf. I was Furious! Then the kids dropped the noodels they were holding and started pushing them under it as well. I wanted to go up to that Mom and say, "Wow...u did a great job at CLEANING them up!" I begged my Mom to let me clean them up. cuse I know what its like to clean something so big and find messes that were done without thinking about the custodian! >< Drives me insane!!!!

PostPosted: Tue Mar 20, 2007 10:51 am
by The Doctor
Wow...those kids were taught by their own mother not to do the right thing.

Incredible...

PostPosted: Tue Mar 20, 2007 3:10 pm
by Puritan
The Doctor wrote:The price America pays for becoming a world superpower and the wealthiest nation on earth (the latter soon to be taken by China, me thinks) is that the people who reside in said prosperous nation become lazy and forget about the things that are really important (like God).


Meh, I can't say I agree, really. China has a looong way to go, to be honest, they are making money hand over fist in some ways, but they have plenty of problems on their plate. They are about a factor of 6 behind the US in GDP, even with their gigantic population, and they have major problems with graft and poverty to take care of right now as well. As for the US becoming lazy and forgetting about what is important, I can't say I buy into that idea. From my reading of history, the US has changed in religious tone, but I question whether we are seeing an actual change in the number of believers or simply the fading of a nominally "Christian" culture that is more tradition than true belief. As for our laziness, much of that seems to me to be apocryphal rather than actual, our economic output, industrial and scientific innovations, and other aspects of our society do not bear out the idea that we are a lazy nation; quite the contrary, in fact. Our country is steaming full-speed ahead and, while not first in every field, we are a thriving center of global industry, education, and research, hardly an indicator of a lazy nation.

But, really, what does this have to do with etiquette? That is something that comes and goes, really, and varies greatly from region to region. I've lived in very polite and friendly regions (Wisconsin, Florida, and North Carolina) and not-so polite and friendly regions (New York and Pennsylvania), and my understanding of history indicates that society has gone in phases, with etiquette having been a large part of some societies and not such a concern in others. It's easy to get a mental image of the past having been polite, but really, parts of it were and parts weren't, just as today parts of our society are less concerned (and becoming ever less concerned) about etiquette, while other parts retain their concern or are developing a new-found concern for etiquette. These things come and go, and while I value etiquette highly and will attempt to cultivate it in my children, if I ever have children, the lack of etiquette than can be seen in some areas is more irritating to me than a sign of societal decline. It is a problem, but a reoccurring one rather than something new.

PostPosted: Tue Mar 20, 2007 5:00 pm
by JediSonic
I think i rather agree with Puritan here.. my famous AP US History teacher, Mr. Ed Dravecky, tell us some very interesting stories of a less-than polite past, featuring Andy "By God" Jackson, (by God!) Also, a comparison between New York slums and Victorian-era English aristocracy will show that wealth and outward politeness sometimes come and go together.

PostPosted: Fri Mar 23, 2007 5:15 am
by bakura_fan
>_> just the other day I came across a worker I wanted to ask a question to. . .but they just gave off the "if you talk to me, I will make your life miserable" look. =_= I dunno. I get scared around people like that.

and I too have watched parents not take care of their children. >_> It's sad really. . . .

PostPosted: Fri Mar 23, 2007 11:01 am
by Stephen
With larger stores IE Walmart, they don't care so much about customer service. I work at a smaller store, and lemme tell ya. If I got caught doing that...I would probably be at least yelled at. Maybe even fired.

PostPosted: Fri Mar 23, 2007 12:39 pm
by Gypsy
bakura_fan wrote:Or is politeness not an issue in our society anymore?
Example: Yesterday i went shopping at wallmart. The lady rang me up, I paid, she bagged everything and walked off. However, she bagged the stuff and left it sitting on the counter. While she talked to the next cashier about when she got off that evening, she watched me put the bags in my own cart. . .lovely eh?



HAHAHA!!! THAT WAS ME!! Actually, no it wasn't but that would have been pretty funny if it was, since we haven't met yet. :P Yeah, there are a lot of rude people working in public these days. Back when I used to cashier at a grocery store (I repeat, that wasn't me!) I would get in trouble if I was having a chit chat with coworkers and ignoring a customer - they even made me watch videos of what was considered unprofessional behaviour and such - although it was all common sense stuff. I guess they don't make people watch those corny training videos anymore. o.O

PostPosted: Fri Mar 23, 2007 3:42 pm
by Zilch
Oh, no, those videos are alive and well, trust me. Staples still uses them with a vengeance.

If a manager had caught me doing that, my butt would have been fried and fired.

PostPosted: Sat Mar 24, 2007 1:02 am
by Hakaii
bakura_fan wrote:Or is politeness not an issue in our society anymore?
Example: Yesterday i went shopping at wallmart. The lady rang me up, I paid, she bagged everything and walked off. However, she bagged the stuff and left it sitting on the counter. While she talked to the next cashier about when she got off that evening, she watched me put the bags in my own cart. . .lovely eh?
I've dealt with people like this before, but in all honesty it seems that it keeps increasing. Is it like, mandatory to have a rude streak nowadays for you to work somewhere? =_= if that's the case, no wonder I'm not getting a job. . . :bang:

So if I understand this correctly, she did everything except putting the bags in your cart for you?... And you care?

Honestly, there are times where I will bag my own stuff while the cashier is still ringing up my items just because it saves both of us some time. Obviously, it didn't really hurt you to lift those bags yourself. And on top of that, I can understand someone forgeting to do something if it's towards the end of their shift. I remember working 16 hours in a single day multiple times while working when I was a teen. If someone has actually been working hard during one of those long days, exhaustion can certainly set in.

I'd suggest just doing as much of the work yourself as possible. I love those stores that have machines instead of cashiers. I can usually get what I need in half the time when I use them. I'll admit it... I'm impatient. I'd either do the bagging myself or just leave my items there if it's more of a hassle than the items are worth. Whether the employee gets fired (because their boss may have observed me doing either of those) or not, It's nothing personal.

And this is not the first Thread I've seen where someone complains about how an employee/customer acts in some store. Is there a good deal of grocery/wal-mart-ish store employee's on CAA? If so, you may want to consider this... If you can competantly interface with an online forum like this. Then you probably have enough skills with a computer (i.e. knowing HTML, PHP, IMG, etc.) to posess a potential to do more advanced things with computers as a career. The jobs are out there! Just because your still in high school, jsut out of high school, or working towards an associates degree, doesn't mean you can't work smarter rather than harder!

Long story short.. people get lazy. People get tired. People get impatient. But if it isn't really hurting you, cowboy up and do it yourself if your not happy with what other people do. You can't discipline the People, you can only discipline yourself.

PostPosted: Sat Mar 24, 2007 4:26 am
by Nate
Hakaii wrote:Obviously, it didn't really hurt you to lift those bags yourself. And on top of that, I can understand someone forgeting to do something if it's towards the end of their shift.

1. It doesn't MATTER whether it hurt her to lift the bags herself or not, the point is bagging groceries and putting them in the cart is the cashier's JOB. If the cashier can't do her job, she shouldn't HAVE her job. I understand your point, but your job is your job. How would you feel if you took your family out to eat and the chef leaned back on the wall and said, "Cook your own food?" It's the same thing.

2. She didn't FORGET. Did you read bakura_fan's post? Did you somehow miss the part where she said:
While she talked to the next cashier about when she got off that evening, she watched me put the bags in my own cart. . .

Meaning the cashier not only didn't do her job, she showed distinct indifference while the customer DID HER JOB FOR HER. Again, you don't bring the food to your own table, the waiter does it, because it's the waiter's job. It's the cashier's job to bag the groceries and put them in the cart. Not the customer's.
Whether the employee gets fired (because their boss may have observed me doing either of those) or not, It's nothing personal.

Wow. What a great Christian attitude. "If I get you fired, it's not my problem."
If you can competantly interface with an online forum like this. Then you probably have enough skills with a computer (i.e. knowing HTML, PHP, IMG, etc.) to posess a potential to do more advanced things with computers as a career.

Uh, I'm sorry, but it takes zero knowledge of HTML, PHP, or any coding to come on a forum and type: "ZOMG IUNYASA IZ TEH GRATEST ANIME EVAR!!!111!!!!!11"

Heck, my mom is a member of an online forum and couldn't tell you what HTML was.
doesn't mean you can't work smarter rather than harder!

Wow! I didn't know people could become smarter just by WANTING to! I'll increase my IQ right now! *concentrates* Whoa! Suddenly I can speak Latin!

You know what the funniest thing is? She posted a thread asking if politeness in our society was dead, and you gave her a rude response. I just find that amusing for some reason. I don't know why.

PostPosted: Sat Mar 24, 2007 5:12 am
by Fish and Chips
Hakaii wrote:So if I understand this correctly, she did everything except putting the bags in your cart for you?... And you care?

Nate said it first and better, but allow me to tack this on.

When your job relies heavily on customer relations and interactions, you'd better believe their satisfaction comes before your own, Hakaii; a self-evident truth of most jobs, but particularly these sort. I've worked in some media services before, and when that door opens and somebody needs projector equipment, laptops, CDs, you're on their time now, not yours. That's why they pay you.

PostPosted: Sat Mar 24, 2007 4:02 pm
by Puritan
Hakaii wrote:And this is not the first Thread I've seen where someone complains about how an employee/customer acts in some store. Is there a good deal of grocery/wal-mart-ish store employee's on CAA? If so, you may want to consider this... If you can competantly interface with an online forum like this. Then you probably have enough skills with a computer (i.e. knowing HTML, PHP, IMG, etc.) to posess a potential to do more advanced things with computers as a career. The jobs are out there! Just because your still in high school, jsut out of high school, or working towards an associates degree, doesn't mean you can't work smarter rather than harder!


Alright, I don't want to beat up on you, Hakaii, but I would ask you think before saying things like this. Nate has a point, but I want to take it a little further. There is no shame in any honest work. None. Whether a person wants to become an engineer, scientist, or programmer or work at Wal-Mart, McDonalds, or doing janitorial work is entirely their business. There are many reasons for people working in particular jobs besides money, and people are called to many vocations at different times in their life. To make the statement that people should do other work is, honestly, boorish and unkind. I understand the sentiment that people could make more money in other jobs, but it really isn't your place to make a blanket statement telling people they are working in an inferior job and should "work smarter" and get a different job, this is something for the person themselves to think about and to discuss with friends or mentors.

In addition, there is much to be learned from these types of jobs. I learned a great deal from my work in food service, lessons about hard work, etiquette, interpersonal relationships, and more, and these lessons put me in good stead when I moved on to other jobs. You can learn valuable things from less prestigious positions, and there are times when these jobs are the best place for someone to be. Please don't knock them or just tell people to do something else. And not only that, but every job is needed to make society run. From the lowest to the highest, we need people who can and will do every type of job. Society, like the Church, is really a body, needing many parts to function correctly, so we need people in all sorts of positions.

PostPosted: Sat Mar 24, 2007 8:21 pm
by Stephen
Nate really said everything I would have said to you Hakaii. I don't know what to say to you dude. I promised myself I would stop reading your posts after some of the stuff you have said in the past...but I feel compelled to read them as part of my job as a mod. Not taking into consideration some of the "advise" you have given before...this may quite possibly be the most ignorant and rude post I have ever seen a single nontroll member of CAA ever write. If you meant to or not, acting like anyone working for a grocery store or whatnot is an idiot was out of line. In the future, if you decided to attack how fellow Christians are making a living or making ends meet....do us a favor...and just keep your mouth shut. I am done with this thread. If it continues in its current line...I am sure it will end up locked. I hope it can go back to a discussion on politeness in the workplace and whatnot. But somehow, I really can't see threads outside of "ZOMG VASH IS HOTZORS" lasting more than 2 days on CAA anymore.

PostPosted: Sat Mar 24, 2007 9:57 pm
by Mithrandir
... moving on ...

The worker was clearly not doing their job, but you may not know the full story.

When stuff like this happens to me, I tend to try and think about things from their perspective. I worked food service, and I know when I had a bad day that the customers suffered. One time I was in a restaurant about a day after hearing a sermon on grace - undeserved favor, shown for no reason. The waiter was rude, and my coworkers were being mean about it (not to his face, but mean nonetheless). I decided I needed to stand up for the rude waiter. "I wish I had a life like yours. Apparently you've never had a bad day, or heard such bad news that you couldn't concentrate." This specific coworker still teases me about standing up for the waiter, but a few of the other coworkers who were there saw a small bit of Christ that day.

That being said, I realize that my personality type is very forgiving, and that I'm probably in the vast minority. I guess the only thing I can say is, "You can't control how other people treat you - only how you react."

PostPosted: Sun Mar 25, 2007 3:10 pm
by Hakaii
Just so you know, I was trying to point out the fact that they are capable of getting jobs that are better than they think. A lot of people who are in high school or just graduated, are under the misconception that they can only get a tedious job like working at a grocery store. I once worked at a job like that while I was in high school and my bosses treated me like dirt. I've heard of other people being treated as such in other minimum wage jobs and I just thought I'd point it out to some of our younger members that their time is worth more than they think it is. And about my posts being rude, I find it far more offensive if someone suger coats what they say to me because their afraid of hurting my feelings. Yes I can be blatantly honest, even rude. But sometimes, people NEED to hear things like that or they'll just blow it off. Look, I'll try to be more nice. However, sometimes, people need a reality check. So I appologize for the way I worded my post but not for my message.

Uh, I'm sorry, but it takes zero knowledge of HTML, PHP, or any coding to come on a forum and type: "ZOMG IUNYASA IZ TEH GRATEST ANIME EVAR!!!111!!!!!11"

Heck, my mom is a member of an online forum and couldn't tell you what HTML was.

Well, sorry for assuming that everyone on CAA was rather intelligent and for trying to encourage everyone to think of themselves as being worth more than what other people say they are.


Wow! I didn't know people could become smarter just by WANTING to! I'll increase my IQ right now! *concentrates* Whoa! Suddenly I can speak Latin!


What I was trying to imply by saying "work smarter not harder" is that working hard at whatever job you can get isn't always the best thing for everyone. You'd be surprized by what jobs are out there if you look.

So that is my defence of what I posted. I was not rying to insult ANYONE just doing my best to get them to think from another point of view for a few seconds. Bakura_fan, yes, I completely agree that the world is rude and that it is getting worse. But just think, there is nothing that we can really do about it. Even if a forum of over 20,000 people and everyone they know were to suddenly be more polite on a 24 hr basis, being rude is something that is just going to happen. All you can do is figure out a way to fight it to a degree that you can live with. For me, It doesn't bother me anymore. I live in what could be considered the "ghetto". When 2 men walk past each other in my neighborhood, we don't say "hi", we just eye each other to see where the other guys hand is. What I'm trying to say is, since you can't change other people, adjust to your surroundings. If someone is being rude to you, don't take it personally. Believe me, I once took just about everything personally and became nearly paranoid. It gave me high blood pressure. Now, not so much. Just... relax. It could be worse.

PostPosted: Sun Mar 25, 2007 3:13 pm
by Mr. SmartyPants
Didn't.... Mithrandir just tell everyone to stop arguing and move along?

PostPosted: Sun Mar 25, 2007 8:07 pm
by Hakaii
Mr. SmartyPants wrote:Didn't.... Mithrandir just tell everyone to stop arguing and move along?

Sorry, I just wanted to clarify and apologize since people seemed pretty upset. Those are my last words on that matter. And I was trying to move along by mentioning that Bakura_fan (and others) not take rudeness so personally.

Which by the way, there are some times that complaining to someones supervisor may be needed. I'm not saying that it's always good to ignore the way people treat you. But ignoring these things is often the only way to move on to other things in life. We can't always take the time to cry foul when someone upsets us. If we did, we'd never accomplish anything. Like i said earlier, another individuals behaviour is not my problem. I'm not God so I'll leave His judgement to Himself. All I can do is give my own advise from personal experiance.

Just think about it. The Bible tells us that the world is going to get a LOT worse one day. And really, I can see that in a lot of cases, rudeness is unacceptable. But sometimes, it's just not worth my time to care about how someone, whom I don't know, treats me.

PostPosted: Mon Mar 26, 2007 9:25 am
by Kaligraphic
You know, back in the day when everybody was polite, you could end up in a duel for insulting somebody. Personally, I think that dueling should be reinstated. I mean, sure, we'd have some fatalities, but my groceries would be in the cart, gosh darn it!

PostPosted: Mon Mar 26, 2007 2:54 pm
by Puguni
Kaligraphic wrote:You know, back in the day when everybody was polite, you could end up in a duel for insulting somebody. Personally, I think that dueling should be reinstated. I mean, sure, we'd have some fatalities, but my groceries would be in the cart, gosh darn it!


XD FTW.

It's true, but I think it depends on where you go. Where I live, people act like you owe them something, which can be exasperating. But I've been to places where everyone is so polite and smiling. I think that's beautiful. Having one place like this is enough to make the world go 'round.

PostPosted: Mon Mar 26, 2007 8:25 pm
by Alice
Well, I know that when employees are polite at a store, it really does encourage people to shop there.

My mother and younger brother stopped at a new store recently for a special on sandwhiches, and the checkout lady was so nice they went back again next week and shopped there.

PostPosted: Tue Mar 27, 2007 12:51 am
by bakura_fan
ok. since I havn't been on in awhile, I think I should clarify. 1) I wasn't saying that I was mad about her not bagging. I was upset that she watched me do it.
2) she walked away while I was still putting my credit card in my purse. I was nopt standing by.
3) what she did does not bother me anymore. I was just curious if others have had to deal with this stuff.
4) I did not go to the management because i didn't want her to get into trouble. She has a job, I don't., I've been trying since january to get one. I say more props to her for having one.
5) If I saw her again, I wouldn't be mad. I don't hold grudges,
6) I like doing my own bagging too. So, again, this had nothing to do with the bagging. I typically help when my hands are free*like I said, I put away my credit card while they are taking care of stuff, and what's left over I typically grab*

Anyway. I'm sorry that this topic caused so much arguing. >_> as others have put it, I hope it can stay as a discussion, not an argument or a debate.

I also think that places that have a welcoming atmosphere gather more attention than one's that don't. I know that it all depends on the employee, but I figure the more people that can show a positive attitude at work, will make a difference. Not saying people don't have their ups and downs, just saying that the overall effect does matter. :jump: If I get a job around people, I'm going to try my best to have a positive attitude.

PostPosted: Tue Mar 27, 2007 6:04 pm
by EireWolf
Alice wrote:Well, I know that when employees are polite at a store, it really does encourage people to shop there.

Yes it does. I switched from one grocery store to another, even though it's a bit farther away, mainly because the workers at the 2nd store were actively helpful.

There was a bagger at the first store that kinda' scared me every time I went in, because he was so sullen all the time. He kinda' gave off a "don't even look at me" attitude.