Well that’s encouraging :( advisen needed

[White Raven]

Here I am working so hard to try and keep up with my work and everything else that needs done.
And for the last five months I have been trying to lose some weight. Not a lot, just some. Maybe about 15lbs.

I walk to work as much as I can, I watch what I eat if I have a choice. Then I take my dog for a walk at night.
But I have only been staying the same weight . It just seems like no matter what I do it’s the same.

And now with all the stress at work it makes my stomach hurt if I eat anything raw like carrots or apples.

I had just started excepting that I’m not going to ever be under 160 again, when tonight Jeremy’s mom asked “Are you pregnant?â€

[ChristianKitsune]

first off, 160 isn't fat.. My goodness I wish I was that skinny again. I have been over 200 since I was like 14... =_= (I hate genetics)

ANYWAYS I would take your fiance's advice, still that's a bit annoying. Maybe you could try talking to her?

I wish I could help more.. I guess all you can do is pray for her?

[White Raven]

first off, 160 isn't fat.. My goodness I wish I was that skinny again. I have been over 200 since I was like 14... =_= (I hate genetics)

ANYWAYS I would take your fiance's advice, still that's a bit annoying. Maybe you could try talking to her?

I wish I could help more.. I guess all you can do is pray for her?

I'm sorry I guess it sounds dumb for me to be upset over this.

[Yumie]

No no no, it's not dumb. What's dumb is what your fiance's mom said. It's never anyone's place to say things like that. I'm sorry she doesn't realize that. It's sad that she doesn't understand how destructive her words are, because you're going to be a precious part of her family soon and she's ruining a possibly sweet friendship with you for stupid reasons.

First, I would suggest trying as hard as you can not to let what she says bother you. Because YOU know you're trying, and that you're certainly not getting any "fatter" as she says you are. What does she know anyways? It's not her place to judge you. You just do the best you can.

Then, have you consulted a dietician about your efforts to lose weight? I don't know much about it, so I don't know what that would cost or how troublesome it might be or anything like that, but I do know that often times we don't understand enough about how our own bodies work to regulate our diets in such a way that we actually lose weight. I know there have been times where I've put on a few pounds and I can't figure out why, and other times when I've thought I should be putting on weight only to find out I've been losing it. Bodies are weird like that. So maybe if you talked to an expert he could really help you know what to do to start losing the kind of weight you're hoping to lose. (Also, you might want someone to help you figure out why your stomach hurts when you eat raw fruits and veggies. That doesn't sound good.)

The last thing I thought I'd just point out is that it's possible you're not taking muscle mass into account when you're looking at how much weight you're losing. I mean, if you've really been walking a lot, it's possible your leg muscles have bulked up a little, which could account for some of your weight. Just a thought.

Good luck achieving your goals, girl!

[Fish and Chips]

[quote="White Raven"]This is the second time she has put me down about my weight and I just don’t know what to do. Jeremy just says to ignore her and that she doesn’t mean to hurt my feelings, but how could she not?

I know she what so would say if I called her on it “Well it’s the truth, and the truth hurts don’t it?â€

[Mave]

1) I use BMI as a general guide as it takes your height into account. Some ppl have heavier bone or muscle mass. I have friends who are "heavy" but man, they look just fine. So, I cannot judge where you stand by your weight alone.

2) Some ppl have to work harder than others to lose weight. That's just how the body functions. Take my example: The only way I can lose/maintain weight effectively is to replace my oil/carb intake with more protein/fruits/veggies, and to exercise quite a bit, which is (~400 calories per gym session, 3 times a week). I admit I feel quite cheated and a little bitter because I have to WORK in order to obtain what the average woman may be born naturally with. GAH. So, don't feel bad that your efforts aren't working....sometimes, it's just more difficult than expected. And that's OK. You're not alone.

Oh yeah it takes about 2 weeks before one starts noticing a major weight loss so don't give up! The most important thing for you is understand your body (like what Yumie said) and to feel good about yourself by your own set standards. Once you've established your standards, stand by it, irrespectively of what others think.

3) If this individual was a stranger, I would have been quite upset and rude. I have told ppl (guys mainly) straight off the bat in the line "Shut up, look at the mirror first. As if you're ~that~ good-looking. *rolls eyes* So get off my case, already. If you're Brad Pitt/Angeline Jones [insert hot looking celebrity] then, MAYBE I'll consider your comment. "

Erm....ok, that is quite rude but I honestly cannot stand ppl who condemn others for being fat without even trying to help in some other way. Some ppl are spiteful and use this to make themselves feel better so there's no way I'll give in to these ppl by being polite. Grrrrr..........

I hope you'll have the courage to tell her the truth and be firm about it. If she doesn't seem to care about your feelings and brings out that whole "truth being painful" lecture, then I would have one last say and ignore her useless comments from then on. After all, Jeremy doesn't agree with his mother, right?

I'm really sorry to hear about this situation. It's very sticky but I hope you feel better knowing that you have the right to be upset and there are others who feel the same for you.

[ChristianKitsune]

AWW White Raven, noo...please don't think you were being stupid!! I know I would feel like crap after someone told me this!!


I guess what I am trying to say is 160 isn't unhealthy or anything...so I guess i was trying to be encouraging?

I am soo sooory she is that mean...you don't deserve to be treated that way..

but like Yumi said... I bet you just gained some muslce or something...also, I have heard that it's best to look at you size and not your weight, when you are trying to lose it.. ^^; Weights can fluctuate too can't it?

I think Stress also increases weight...

[Etoh*the*Greato]

I'm sorry I guess it sounds dumb for me to be upset over this.

It's not dumb at all. My fiancee gets that kind of thing from her mom a lot (by the way, 160 is not nearly approaching fat). My usual advice is a kind of half joking, "give her a charlie horse" thing. Only half joking. No violence, though. It doesn't win points for the wedding.

I just started working out at the Gym to take care of my lovehandle situation (I'd like to be a little more aerodynamic) and was told that with a certain amount of workout, you have to change your diet or else you'll reach a plateau and kind of not make any progress. The trick is to ensure that you're consuming at least five hundred callories less than you're burning in a typical day. Also, apparently building up muscle increases your metabolism. Brilliant news to me. I would've been a body builder all along!

[White Raven]

Thanks peeps for all the encouragement.

To Yumie. Thank you for your concern. I did see a doctor about two years ago when I was having a lot of problems with my stomach. It’s because I get nervus very easy, and when I do, my stomach makes a ton of acid. If I eat something that’s not easily digestible it only makes the acid worse. Thus it gives me a stomach ache that feels like have eaten tacks. On stressful days I’m stuck only eating dry toast and taking antacid.

I’m 5 ft 6 in so I think that 160 is fairly acceptable, but all of my fat is on my tummy so it makes most pants uncomfortable. And it’s not because I have them to tight. All my pants slide off because I don’t have enough rear or hips to hold the dang things up. So then I have to have a belt and it hurts my stomach.

I didn’t have this problem when I was only 145, my pants stayed up, and didn’t have to squeeze myself with a belt to keep them up.

I wish I had the money to go to a doctor about me losing weight but right now I don't have any insurance.

Thank you all, for your advice, I think I will just try and not let Fay make me feel bad..

Love, Tammi.

[K. Ayato]

Ever tried doing sit-ups? I don't mean crunches, mind you. I'm 5'4" and currently at 151. My aunt asks me "How'd you get your stomach flatter?" and that's my answer. Sit-ups. You can do them once every 2 days. It'll work.

[White Raven]

Ever tried doing sit-ups? I don't mean crunches, mind you. I'm 5'4" and currently at 151. My aunt asks me "How'd you get your stomach flatter?" and that's my answer. Sit-ups. You can do them once every 2 days. It'll work.

Humm I thought it would only make my tummy fatter looking because it would build muscle.
I will have to try that.

Thanks.

[soul alive]

I'm kind of in the same situation, White Raven, only the comments come from my own mom. I seem to have a genetic predisposition for maintaining weight and not being able to loose easily; the fact that I've been taking 19 or more credits the last three semesters, and have been to busy for anything other than work and school doesn't help either. *sigh*

Don't feel dumb about being upset about something like this, especially since it's something obviously important to you. There is no call for people to say things like that, and don't hurt yourself further by trying to laugh it off.

One of the main reasons that my mom is always hurting me verbally is because she recieved similar abuse from her own mother. She's apologized before and said she realizes how much it hurts and would stop, and then make another comment not an hour later. She has her own physique issues, and vents the frustration on me. I've realized this, and now I just ignore her on the subject, manuever the conversation so that the subject doesn't come up, or call her out on it when she starts to put me down.

You might ask Jeremy if his mother has any similar history that would be causing her to feel a need to put you down. If she puts you down again, don't try to laugh it off. Look her in the eye and inform her that you know full well that you have an issue in that department, but that you are making attempts at changing yourself for the better. And if she persists, leave, and inform her why you are leaving - that you feel no need to subject yourself to her abuse. Whether she is putting you down consciously or unconsciously, she needs to know that she is hurting you, you are not going to sit there and meekly take it.

[Raiden no Kishi]

Humm I thought it would only make my tummy fatter looking because it would build muscle.

It is really hard to build abdominal muscle mass, and even more so to build muscle mass in general for girls. Don't worry about that. However, a good weight training regimen will help you lose weight and keep it off. If you lift weights, you will add more muscle, which requires calories just to live. If your intake stays the same, your demand will be higher and excess weight will drop. Cardio will help you burn calories quickly ~ but walking, I'm afraid, won't do it very quickly. The trick is to get your heart rate up.

My suggestion: DDR! The more recent Dance Dance Revolution games have a Workout mode where you can set a certain amount of calories to burn [among other things] and it will calculate how much you're burning. Plus, it's all sorts of fun. I used to religiously get up and dance off a few hundred calories every day ~ in fact, you've inspired me to get up and do that again, since I also need an incentive to get up earlier. Thanks! ^_^

You should definitely have a heart-to-heart with Jeremy about his mom. That's a rude, hurtful, nasty thing to say about anyone. Believe me, I know about it.

Your best bet is to get a friend or two to work out with [I work out with my dad] ~ it helps with discipline if you both make each other work hard.

Good luck!

.rai//

[Lady Macbeth]

First off, don't let your clothing size be a downer for how you think your body could/would/should be sized. My level point (where I usually weigh) is 133lbs, and I'm 5'3" - try finding clothing for that size body! ALL pants that fit my hips are too long - I have never, not even in the "petite" section of any store, found pants that fit my hips and are the right leg length. A recent trip to Wal-Mart netted a new discovery - when I'm up to 135 (my size fluctuates each month due to bloating) there is not a size of jeans that fits comfortably. Tried on a size 6, and it was too small. Tried on a size 8 (same manufacturer and style) and it was too big. (Yes, I checked the tags to make sure that it wasn't just Wal-Mart mislabeling them on the hanger.) Found a manufacturer who makes size 7 jeans and...they were smaller than the size 6 - I couldn't even get them up over my knees. The clothing in my closet ranges in size from 4 to 10, and only a couple of items don't fit properly.

It's just a sad fact at the moment that the social and political atmosphere in our country keeps women's clothing manufacturers from simplifying the sizing standard. When I buy men's jeans, I don't have any problems - I wear a 29-30, same as my dad.

(If there are any clothing manufacturer's on the board, here's a secret - women didn't start wearing men's jeans during the 80's to be more "man-like" or for that "low slung" look we get from men's jeans. We started wearing men's jeans because it was easier to know what size fit and they were usually cheaper than women's jeans on top of it.)

One "secret" to weight loss that a lot of women don't realize is as simple as changing what you drink. The American people have a huge addiction to soda. Dentists rally against it because of the damage it does to teeth - but it also does damage to your internal organs (not nearly as quickly as to teeth, but the negative effects are still there) and it encourages your body to pack on the pounds. If you're active, you don't even have to cut back the amount you drink - just change from soda to tea, juice and milk. If you're a big soda drinker, there's a good chance you'll find that you're unconsciously not drinking as much tea (or juice, or milk) as you drank of soda - this becomes an added benefit of switching.

If you're a college student and live on or near campus (within a few blocks), walk to campus instead of driving or riding bike. If you have a large campus, walk from class to class instead of driving/riding. (Biking is fine, normally, but a lot of people get into the habit of "coasting" a good portion of the way for an easier trip. That defeats the purpose as far as exercise goes.) In buildings with multiple floors, take the stairs instead of the elevator. Even though you're not "working out" in the gym for any of these activities, you are still upping your endurance, burning calories, and toning muscles.

It also helps to remember that as long as you're involving your entire body in an activity, it does burn calories and it does contribute to muscle development and maintenance. Ten minutes, three times a day, should not be out of reach for the average person, but our "get there faster" and "use as little effort as possible" society has put that idea out the window. Scrub your floors by hand instead of spraying some "magic" cleaner down and then wiping it away in 20 minutes. Wash the dishes by hand instead of throwing them in the dishwasher. Stretch your arms and legs and do brief exercises during commercial breaks instead of channel surfing only to return to what you were watching when the commercials are done.

Sometimes the simplest solutions are what we overlook the most.

[Alice]

I started losing weight when I added organic, cold-pressed Coconut Oil to my diet. It was an amazing side effect.

Coconut oil has MCT (Medium Chain Triglycerides) in it, a rare and good fatty acid.

I think it adjusted my metabolism and helped me burn fat better, because I also started feeling less cold. (Once upon a time, I had to wear gloves in the house in winter, because I got so cold.)

I have a 'sit up' sort of machine that, when I use it regularly, helps flatten my tummy.

As for how to deal with those hurtful comments, I wish I could help, but I'm not very good at it myself. Just please know our thoughts and prayers are with you, and you shouldn't believe what she says.

[Puguni]

Maybe you should try to turn those comments around. Why not give her a nice smile and say, "How do you think I should lose weight?" And if she's a little on the heavy side, why not suggest that you both take some program together? I'm sorry that your in-law is giving you heartache though. :<

As for losing weight, I'm starting to take a brisk walk about 4-5 times a week for 40 minutes, and it seems to be working. I recommend to others who aren't looking for a long workout.