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Girl I like(but don't plan to date) want some advice
PostPosted: Thu Feb 01, 2007 5:28 pm
by heero yuy 95
Hey, kiddos. I want some advice. There's this girl I kinda like at school. She's a senior, so she's a grade ahead of me, but i dunno, there's just something about her. She seems so level-headed and she's always optimistic, and i've already admitted my feelings to her, which she apprecitaed my honesty, but here's the catch. She's not a Christian, she's an agnostic. Now don't get me wrong, I'm taking it easy from hardcore relationships. let's face it, for the most part, they're not worth it in high school. Anywho, she says she wants to start coming to church again, and i've talked her into coming to mine. I've already explained to her why i can't date her(she's not a christian, duh), and she totally understands. She says she's not entirely sure how she feels about me, but would like to get to know me better. So this is a kinda tricky issue, i want her to start coming to church and ultimately get saved, but i don't wanna do it just so I can date her, that'd be a selfish motive and just no good. but well, what i'm getting at, i guess i talk alot, but what do you guys think if i take her to the prom just as a friend? ya know, nothing romantic, probably chill with some of my crew along the way. what do you guys think? P.S. i know there's a bible verse about this that says something about "others of unequal yoke" if one of y'all could find it, i'd be most grateful. thanks!
PostPosted: Thu Feb 01, 2007 5:32 pm
by K. Ayato
It's found in 2 Corinthians chapter 6, starting at verse 14, I believe.
Just be her friend. I'm sure it's ok if you both attend prom, but probably not with you being her escort, you know? Explain to her that you don't want anyone to get the wrong impression, and you don't want to unknowingly "play with fire" by taking her as your escort to the prom, even though you're just friends.
Kudos to stressing that you want her to be saved 'cause she's lost, not 'cause she's cute and you'd probably want to date her in the future.
PostPosted: Thu Feb 01, 2007 5:36 pm
by heero yuy 95
It's found in 2 Corinthians chapter 6, starting at verse 14, I believe.
Just be her friend. I'm sure it's ok if you both attend prom, but probably not with you being her escort, you know? Explain to her that you don't want anyone to get the wrong impression, and you don't want to unknowingly "play with fire" by taking her as your escort to the prom, even though you're just friends.
Kudos to stressing that you want her to be saved 'cause she's lost, not 'cause she's cute and you'd probably want to date her in the future.
Hey, thanks! wow a reply already! I guess threads like this attract peoples' attention. XD Btw, so you're saying i should accompany her to the prom, but not just one-on-one?
PostPosted: Thu Feb 01, 2007 5:40 pm
by K. Ayato
Yep. Group thing.
PostPosted: Thu Feb 01, 2007 5:44 pm
by heero yuy 95
Yep. Group thing.
yeah, i see where you're coming from. I've been looking for friends to jazz along with me. But is it all good if i still go with her in my car? like, and have some crew follow along?
PostPosted: Thu Feb 01, 2007 5:46 pm
by K. Ayato
*Shakes head* No going one-on-one period. That's the last thing you'd want. Especially if you're attracted to her. Have at least one extra person in the car with you, if it boils down to that.
PostPosted: Thu Feb 01, 2007 6:06 pm
by heero yuy 95
*Shakes head* No going one-on-one period. That's the last thing you'd want. Especially if you're attracted to her. Have at least one extra person in the car with you, if it boils down to that
.
Well, it's an el camino, so there really wouldn't be room for another person. Hmm, i spose i could tag along with a friend. thanks though. i can see where you're coming from. I guess the fact that i like her really factors into this.
PostPosted: Thu Feb 01, 2007 7:54 pm
by Mr. SmartyPants
Well I can say you're off to a good start. I'd invite her to church and stuff, and obvious let her get to know you. That way you can seriously have discussions about faith and such.
PostPosted: Thu Feb 01, 2007 7:57 pm
by carneman
hey man, if all else fails you can ride with me to prom. i got the people-mobile suv, remember?
PostPosted: Thu Feb 01, 2007 8:03 pm
by heero yuy 95
hey man, if all else fails you can ride with me to prom. i got the people-mobile suv, remember?
heh, thanks man
PostPosted: Thu Feb 01, 2007 8:56 pm
by Mangafanatic
I gotta be honest with you. I think this is a bad set up all around.
The truth is that people do some crazy stuff for love. My friend Jenny's mother was a devoted Christian when she met her husband, an unbeliever. When she told him "Look, I can't be involved with someone who's not a Christian" he started coming to church with her and "got saved." After they got married, she never heard another word about his so called "conversion." In a situation from my own life, when I was 16, there was this fantastic Christian guy I knew who I had been interest in since I was ten (we were childhood friends) and he was so serious about his faith. I knew he would never compromise by dating a girl who was not a strong believer, so, although I didn't clearly see that that was my motivation at the time, I read my bible every day for several months, in hopes that I would "deserve" him.
When you look for someone to be in a romantic relationship, you're not looking for a Christian. You're looking for a desperate lover of Christ. You're looking for someone who loves Jesus more than she loves you. The truth is, it will probably be years before she'll be in that position-- if she ever is. With that said, I commend you to guard your heart against romantic feelings until you can truly say that, and, until you tell yourself that you will not entertain those feelings, you should distance yourself from her. "Getting to know her. . ." I think is probably a bad idea. I hate to say that, because, I mean, if you really could "just" be friends, that'd would be okay. But so rarely can a girl and a guy, especially when the guy already knows he's interest in the girl, REALLY be only friends. So, as much as I hate having to give advice like this, I suggest that you keep her at arm's length. Or, two arm's lengths, just to be sure. I know that's hard to take, but it's the only thing I feel I can tell you in good conscience.
PostPosted: Thu Feb 01, 2007 9:53 pm
by Mr. SmartyPants
While I think it is perfectly healthy and good to invite her to Church and get to now her better, I will say that Mangafanatic's post should be taken into great consideration. What she says is very important and should not be taken lightly.
PostPosted: Fri Feb 02, 2007 9:07 pm
by heero yuy 95
Mangafanatic, I take no offense to your advice, to the contrary, I appreciate it. There are times in life when ya can't get ahead of yourself and hold too much confidence in your ability to master your feelings(i.e romantic feelings for a girl). I can honestly tell you I will take great consideration to your advice, I also still feel kinda torn on this subject, know what i be saying? I like talking to her, and i'd love to just have a good female friend, but yeah, romantic feelings, especially infatuation, can really get a hold of ya easily(something i've been thinking about) I'd like to continue knowing her better, but i really need to think it through. Your advice isn't exactly reassuring, but it's blunt, and beleive me, sometimes that's the best kind. One thing i know for sure is that a dating relationship is outta the question. But as for how well i get to know her, i'm still torn on that. well, one thing i know for sure is this calls for some praying with the Lord. Thanks, guys.