CAA: Christian Anime Alliance

Ok my outreach pastor has been coming to my youth meetings at school and preaching and i have enjoyed it but that is just it ... nobody else has they would rather me speak like i used to because they feel uncomfortable about it and i had like 3 people David, Cooper, and Jamie say they would come if i started talking again and i have been praying they would ... my friend Shandel doesnt feel comfortable... we are pentecostal/Assembly of God and we lay hands and stuff when we pray but she isnt used to is and she thinks it is fine as long as its not a guy because she was raped as a little girl (not to little but still you get the picture) and i want to start preaching again however i dont want Delbert to think that i am trying to get rid of him you know?
I dont know what to say what should i do??
I am going to talk the first wednesday after we get back from break but i need to devise some way of telling him during Christmas break and i dont know how to.
Its not just that but i ahve felt i need to speak myself because i mean after all its my Youth Group and stuff and also i am called to be a youth pastor (as well as an artist) so i need all the practice i can get you know?
What should i do?
Should i let Delbert just keep coming?
Should i tell him not to and if so how?
I want him to but i want David and Cooper and Jamie to get saved you know so what should i do?
Ok anyways thanks PLEASE GIVE ADVICE!!! im really desperate!

I have NO idea what you just said. Please clarify, and then I'd be happy to offer any other advice.

simply put...

My Outreach pastor... Delbert... has been coming to my schools youth group i started.
My friends do not feel comfortable when he speaks or prays for people because when he prays he lays hands on people as i gues syou would call a point of contact... my friends who are unsaved and i wrote about before.... told me today that they would come ... but i ahve to be the one talking not Delbert.
I dont know how to tell Delbert about this situation or how to even start...

Is Delbert easily offended? Even if he is, these are people's souls on the line. If simply the touching makes them uncomfortable, maybe you should ask him to refrain for now, unless it's a total given for him. You don't want to scare your friends off from seeing the Light, so I think giving into their requests, unless they ask you to do something really non-Christian, is reasonable. There's more than one way to pray, no?

Maybe Delbert can be sitting on the sidelines and helping you talk.

While I agree it is good to be concerned about people's souls, I want to tone things down by pointing out that it is GOD who saves people, not us. We can talk to them and even know everything about anything and still not be able to save them. It really is by God's work that people are saved. They can be saved even without talking to a Christian, by finding a Bible on a street.
So don't stress out too much.

That said, I think it is a valid concern that the people of your youth group are being put off by what your pastor is saying. Perhaps one thing that would be worth clarifying would be WHY they were offended by your pastor.

If the only issue is the laying on of hands, then I think it is probably important to notify your pastor that these people are very uncomfortable with that. If you are able, mentioning why - as in the girl's instance - could be helpful in helping him to understand.

If they are offended by what he is saying, then what sorts of things were they offended by? If they were offended by the truth, then in my opinion you could suggest he phrase it differently but God's truth is Truth and should not be altered.

If they were offended by something else, I can't really offer advice because I don't know what that might be. ^^"

Whatever the scenario, I believe it would be good to talk with your pastor. Whatever the scenario, I believe it would be even better to talk and pray with him. Don't stress out or get worried: God is in control and he has a long term plan that goes beyond this uncomfortable time.

As for what you should say to your pastor - the best policy is to be honest. If you think its going to offend him, tell him that. Be honest that its stressing you out and how you feel worried about approaching him about it. People in leadership really, really need to know if they've done something wrong or if there are problems. They are not finished and perfect and need to know where to improve or change just like the rest of us. They have a lot of responsibility and when we are honest with them it benefits both us and them.

In terms of how you say what you are going to say - do your best to relax and unworry. Pray and get at peace as best you can. Because when we're worried and full of emotions we can often misinterpret things and can generally make the communication proccess harder.

I can tell you are doing your best not to hurt anybody. That is great, and good. But even with all your best efforts there may be some hurt or embarrassment - for you, your friends or your pastor. These things too will pass, and if you work through them you will be stronger. I'm sorry that this is such a tough situation for you and I hope this has helped even a little. If you (or anyone else) disagree in any way with what I've said please tell me so that I can learn from what you think.

I'll be praying for you, A4J.

Just wondering, have you tried talking to Delbert about the fact that your friends are uncomfortable with him laying hands on them?

If you reason with him by not saying that it's his fault, but just that his friends are uncomfortable with physical contact, maybe he can compromise in this aspect and meet your friends on their terms?

Laying hands on them isn't necessary. So just tell him not to do it. Praying with them is sufficent enough.

Everyone's put up some great advice, and I agree with it. If your youth pastor is at fault in any way, please don't be afraid to politely tell him you disagree with his methods and to explain that he's making these folks uncomfortable.

Yeah but its not only that they just dont like him and how he preaches or so they say im honestly thinking its cause they want to try to prove me wrong when i preach because i dont know that much or as much as i should but i dont know i know God will give me the wisdom to answer their questions

I also go to an Assembly of God church, and I know how awkward it can be for people who don't understand it. My suggestion would be to sit down with your youth pastor and just have a little talk about how things are going with your school group. I think you should explain to him that you feel called to lead the group and that people feel comfortable with you leading. Don't focus on why he shouldn't be leading, focus on why you think you should. Maybe you could try setting up a week or two where he would come to the group but you would speak. If he prays about it and sees that you are doing a good job with it, I am sure he would be happy to step back and let you lead.

If that's the case, just do your best to teach the truth. Learn as much as you can from the Word and go from there.

We can't answer everyone's questions, especially if they're determined to prove us wrong. Our duty isn't to convince them. We can never know the answers to every question but we have to leave it in God's hands, because we cannot do it by ourselves and we have to rely on God to save them. We just do the part God has given us to do.

We don't know what goes on in the hearts of humans, but God does. Perhaps when they are along at night and struggling with the questions of existance they will remember the things that they heard and that you said and did and call out to God.

(Again, if anyone disagrees or sees that I am wrong on some points, please let me know). I'm not saying all this because somehow I've got it all down pat, but because I'm trying to work through these things, too, and I hope it helps you.

I'm sorry that you are struggling, but don't give up. God's grace is there. Look to him and walk forward in whatever light you've been given - whatever you can do. Leave God with the rest because the fact is without him we really can do nothing. But with Him, he turns times of trouble, failure and pain into victory.

I'll talk to you on YiM about it.

I can't believe your Youth Pastor name's Delbert=Dilbert.Sorry that just came to mind.
As far as it goes,I would think the best thing to do is to politely ask him not to come for a couple weeks so that you can ask your group how they honestly feel about the situation and take a vote.If they vote that they don't want him to come back again be honest and let him know how the group feels.It may not have anything to do with how they feel about what you believe but rather the way he conducts himself.So he may have to either tone it down or else be asked not to come back.
And yes,even some guys are a bit skittish when it comes to someone touching us.
I know I am.

mitsuki lover wrote:I can't believe your Youth Pastor name's Delbert=Dilbert.Sorry that just came to mind.
As far as it goes,I would think the best thing to do is to politely ask him not to come for a couple weeks so that you can ask your group how they honestly feel about the situation and take a vote.If they vote that they don't want him to come back again be honest and let him know how the group feels.It may not have anything to do with how they feel about what you believe but rather the way he conducts himself.So he may have to either tone it down or else be asked not to come back.
And yes,even some guys are a bit skittish when it comes to someone touching us.
I know I am.

No its not a youth pastor my youth pastors name is Michael he is my outreach pastor... his sons name is elmer XD!!!

well, in my oppion, God gave you the position that you have. if your Youth Group is not comfortable with this guy. then it is your JOB to relay that to this guy. you are a voice for them and a leader and you should treat yourself as such. be diplomatic about it (by the way, I like the other things people above have said) but also, when you talk to this person (especially about the laying on of hands) talk to him with the assumption that you have some authority. just remember, no matter how you handle the situation, HAVE CONFIDENCE IN YOUR DECISION!! AND IN YOURSELF!