CAA: Christian Anime Alliance

Last night I beat Kingdom Hearts 2 again and realized that... the realm of darkness is actually loniness itself. For some reason I was really out of it and emotional. For some reason I was all... teary eyed. Not becasuse of this realization, but just because.

Haven't you ever felt so alone even when you're surrounded by others? It's like, they're right there in front of you but they seem so far away. It's like, you're watching them from a distance. Just like Sora and Riku was when they were on the beach in the realm of darkness. The realm of light was right there, but they couldn't reach it. Man, who knew a game could have so much impact eh?

Yeah it does loneliness is one of the human condition that cause us pain however unlike the game we are never alone for our Lord God our Father in Heaven, Lord Jesus Christ, and Holy Spirit are always with us even til the ends of time.

I have felt that way, yes. For me it is most often because I am drastically different from the surrounding people. I am usually left studying human encounters with curiosity.

Yeah, but that's just kinda sad y'know. It's like one of the dreams I had. For some reason I was just hanging out in my garage while everyone was insde the house having fun. For some reason I wouldn't/couldn't go in. When I finally did they were all about to leave.

Another thing is about the game I realized was about memories. It's so sasd to think of all the friends you met in the past and how you've forgotten them. It's true, you meet new friends and creat new friendships, but... it's still kinda sad y'know. I guess that's where they got "Chain of Memories" from. As our old ones are severed we create new ones, and hopeluflly we can reconnect those ones to (smile). Hmm, maybe I'm overthinking everything again.

It's a state of being for me. I was the guy was always there but rarely noticed. I never stood out or spoke up much. I'm still that way. I'm always the guy who is alone in a crowded room. It’s hard for me to spontaneously start a conversation. Come to think of it, that’s probably why I don’t start many threads here, either.

I don't really consider myself to be lonely, though. At least not anymore. Probably a product of being this way for over 30 years, but I really don't want to be the center of attention. It's nice to be noticed, but I'm fine with out it.

Hehehe, me to. I don't like to much attention. I don't know, maybe I'm jsut paranoid like that eh? It just made me sad, becuase I could imagine me sitting alone in the dark realm. It was like,"Whoa, I feels like I've been there before."

Coincidentally, my men's group discussion last night touched on this issue. One of the guys said there are three basic types of personality pitfalls that most people are likely to fall into:

1. The people who are driven to succeed. They believe that the way to win approval and acceptance is to be the very best at everything they do. They will mold and shape themselves into whatever they believe will win them success and praise. These are the type of people who volunteer for everything and never seem to slow down. I believe the Sabbath was created as a law specifically to force people like this to slow down and rest. Business leaders, politicians, and preachers/ministers typically fall into this category.

2. The people who rebel against the norm to attract attention to themselves. Where Excellers seek approval and praise, these folks simply seek attention. Many people who fall into this class were at one time Excellers. They either failed to succeed (and thus failed to get praise) or they did succeed and learned that no level of success/praise is ever enough and became disillusioned with the whole process. Since getting praise has failed them, they now look simply for attention

3. My category – the people who do not attract attention to themselves. These people like to be noticed (everyone does) but lack either the drive or the talent to win praise and don’t like the kind of attention those who rebel get. They are too shy/introverted or just simply dislike tooting their own horns to win the kind of praise or attention the other types seek. Many people in this category would like to be category 1 types, but have no idea how to go about doing it. Others admire the traits of the category two types but are afraid of the repercussions associated with sticking out too much.

I don’t think anyone choose their category. Instead, the choices they make and the feedback they receive shape them into a category. There’s really nothing wrong with any of the categories. Or at least, it is not better to be one than another. Honestly, those who exemplify these categories – who fit these categories too well - are usually very unsatisfied with their lives. No one can ever get enough praise/attention to be satisfied. The problem with all of these traps is that the focus is all wrong. The people who exemplify each of these categories all have one thing in common – their focus is on themselves. In order to break the cycle and be comfortable in your own skin, your focus needs to be on God.

That’s the gist of our discussion, anyways. I’m sure it falls a little shy of covering all of the bases, but it was pretty thought provoking to me so I thought I’d share it here.

I'm category #3 actually. I'm not shy if I've known someone for about a week and spent a lot of time with them, but I have a lot of trouble starting conversations.
And I'm just not into doing things for attention. I have nothing against those kind of people -Unless they do stupid things for attention-, it's just not the type of person I am.
Now I'm going to go buy a PS2.

I'm shy to an extent. If I were to meet one of you on the streets I'd prolly could start a conversation with you like that, but it's true... I don't like tooting my own horn. I'd rather get the attention of those who wants to give it to me. Not because I want it y'know.