I give up...
PostPosted: Tue Jan 31, 2006 2:26 pm
I finally did it (I think), I'm giving up on the one guy that I've liked the longest in my life.
Brief background story:
2004
-he liked me during various times of the year but we were friends, he was younger than me and I didn't know him THAT well as a good friend either
-round Sept I finally started liking him, and I knew he liked me already
-round Nov he liked me again (or still did?) and then I finally told him, makign it easy since I knew he already liked me. then we went out
2005
-at the end of Jan. (28th to be preceise actually) he broke up to me for reasons unknown (which he even forgets why to this day)
-throughout the year it's been so hard, only ONCE (in May) did he say he liked me again but I didn't know what to do
-kept thinking to myself that I only liked him as a friend and left it at that, yet I'd still end up liking him from time to time cause I was just lying to myself
-round July he moved to a town just over an hour away, and the phone convos started
-ended up havign sleep overs at my house (as friends and all) and even over the phone I REALLY started liking him again... but then found out he still did like other people...
2006
-stayed at his house on new years and he just stayed the weekend. I confessed I really did like him and he said he knew cause it was obvious I did. but, never gave me a precise answer to it but that he was "confused about relationships"... never know what it meant but now I think I finally figured it out...
He lives there, I live here but the distance has nothign to do with it. I know there will always be the girls over there he'll like and I will probably only EVER be concidered that "good friend". Sure there still might be the sleep overs and so forth, but now I won't expect ANYTHING from him. I'm convinced now he's only confused cause he doesn't want to be more than friends with me... we're so very close as friends that I really think that it would work out if we were more but... unlike 04, he doesn't and probably won't like me like that again, even though we still chat on the phone more than his bro and his bro's g/f (who have an hour away relationship too).
I just cna't do this anymore... liking someone so one-sided and thinking to myself that it just may work one day... I just can't! It's so hard all of this for me though. Then again I have NO idea what God has planned for me, but I still wonder what the purpose of all this hardship is sometimes. Thinking about that "can guys and girls just be friends" topic, yeah it's true. He doesn't want to be more than friends with me. He probably just wnats that really good girl friend AND a g/f (which I myself find werid cause it almost makes more sense to go out with your good friend and all). But yeah...
Sorry this is so long, prayer would be nice too^^ I've just had over a year of tears and I just can't do it anymore... (Ironically enough at this moment one of my guy friends likes me that I am not really interested in >_< Things just keep getting worse by the minute it seems...) Never know if it'll NEVER happen for sure, but I'm just gunna give up with "the chase". If he ends up liking me one day, I'll decide what to do then. Hard enough too since I don't see "Mr. Nice" walking down my street any time soon >_< And being close enough friends with the other guy already, it's hard enough to think about being that close to another guy too.
Brief background story:
2004
-he liked me during various times of the year but we were friends, he was younger than me and I didn't know him THAT well as a good friend either
-round Sept I finally started liking him, and I knew he liked me already
-round Nov he liked me again (or still did?) and then I finally told him, makign it easy since I knew he already liked me. then we went out
2005
-at the end of Jan. (28th to be preceise actually) he broke up to me for reasons unknown (which he even forgets why to this day)
-throughout the year it's been so hard, only ONCE (in May) did he say he liked me again but I didn't know what to do
-kept thinking to myself that I only liked him as a friend and left it at that, yet I'd still end up liking him from time to time cause I was just lying to myself
-round July he moved to a town just over an hour away, and the phone convos started
-ended up havign sleep overs at my house (as friends and all) and even over the phone I REALLY started liking him again... but then found out he still did like other people...
2006
-stayed at his house on new years and he just stayed the weekend. I confessed I really did like him and he said he knew cause it was obvious I did. but, never gave me a precise answer to it but that he was "confused about relationships"... never know what it meant but now I think I finally figured it out...
He lives there, I live here but the distance has nothign to do with it. I know there will always be the girls over there he'll like and I will probably only EVER be concidered that "good friend". Sure there still might be the sleep overs and so forth, but now I won't expect ANYTHING from him. I'm convinced now he's only confused cause he doesn't want to be more than friends with me... we're so very close as friends that I really think that it would work out if we were more but... unlike 04, he doesn't and probably won't like me like that again, even though we still chat on the phone more than his bro and his bro's g/f (who have an hour away relationship too).
I just cna't do this anymore... liking someone so one-sided and thinking to myself that it just may work one day... I just can't! It's so hard all of this for me though. Then again I have NO idea what God has planned for me, but I still wonder what the purpose of all this hardship is sometimes. Thinking about that "can guys and girls just be friends" topic, yeah it's true. He doesn't want to be more than friends with me. He probably just wnats that really good girl friend AND a g/f (which I myself find werid cause it almost makes more sense to go out with your good friend and all). But yeah...
Sorry this is so long, prayer would be nice too^^ I've just had over a year of tears and I just can't do it anymore... (Ironically enough at this moment one of my guy friends likes me that I am not really interested in >_< Things just keep getting worse by the minute it seems...) Never know if it'll NEVER happen for sure, but I'm just gunna give up with "the chase". If he ends up liking me one day, I'll decide what to do then. Hard enough too since I don't see "Mr. Nice" walking down my street any time soon >_< And being close enough friends with the other guy already, it's hard enough to think about being that close to another guy too.