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Ok... I just wanted to know if this has happened to anyone else...

Ok, so this guy I liked...and I thought liked me...actually liked my best friend..and came to ME for advice on how to ask her out. I lied and mocked happiness and told him to just ask her. He did and when she told me I was like "OH AWESOME!" While this tiny voice inside was like, "NOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" but all I really want is for them to be happy, but right now..I feel...horrible. I want them to be happy, still..but..yeah.. I am just feeling down...

any ideas on how to get over this stupid crush thing? LOL.

Yeah, that pretty much happens to everyone. It stinks. What's even worse is when a guy expresses interest in you, but when you can't be involved with him that way and don't move fast enough for him, he goes on to your flirty arch-enemy. So much drama.

Pray about it. Honestly that's all I could do when it happened to me. It's too hard to handle otherwise.

Sorry dear!

I've seen this scenario play out, and it does stink. I'm very sorry you're having to struggle with it.

If you were really serious about "how to get over stupid little crushes", I do have a few tips that I've had to use on myself many a time. They're 63% effective in my experience. Well. . . not really, but the statistics sounded good. XD

First, don't indulge the feelings of being wounded. A lot of girls, after being hurt this way, find book and songs that feature feelings like their own, and they completely submerge themselves in their angst and anger. It doesn't help. If you have a song that makes you want to shout "All men are scum bags" from the roof tops-- don't listen to it. Refusing to do what feels natural here is going to help you more than I can even say.

Next, if you don't think the relationship is going to work out, consider letting it go. If you're sure it's not going to work out, decide to let it go. I know you can't turn off your feelings, but you can short cut the effects of those feelings. You know, don't try your first name with his last name anymore. That kind of stuff. Don't let your heart strings get tangled up when you can see the knots starting to form. I had a "would-be-relationship" that I had to fight against for quite some time. Ever so often, my mind would start straying to him, and I would tell myself "No, I'm not going there." The more I did it, the less and less the temptation presented itself. After a while, I could actually come to terms with the whole situation and I could get on with my life.

That's my two yen.

pray about it, give the situation to God, let Him work it out.

you're probably hurt by this so dont be afraid to get that out so you can heal. just take it a day at a time, it's not going to magically poof and be all better, but you will get over it and you will heal, if you let yourself.

Mangafanatic wrote:I've seen this scenario play out, and it does stink. I'm very sorry you're having to struggle with it.

If you were really serious about "how to get over stupid little crushes", I do have a few tips that I've had to use on myself many a time. They're 63% effective in my experience. Well. . . not really, but the statistics sounded good. XD

First, don't indulge the feelings of being wounded. A lot of girls, after being hurt this way, find book and songs that feature feelings like their own, and they completely submerge themselves in their angst and anger. It doesn't help. If you have a song that makes you want to shout "All men are scum bags" from the roof tops-- don't listen to it. Refusing to do what feels natural here is going to help you more than I can even say.

Next, if you don't think the relationship is going to work out, consider letting it go. If you're sure it's not going to work out, decide to let it go. I know you can't turn off your feelings, but you can short cut the effects of those feelings. You know, don't try your first name with his last name anymore. That kind of stuff. Don't let your heart strings get tangled up when you can see the knots starting to form. I had a "would-be-relationship" that I had to fight against for quite some time. Ever so often, my mind would start straying to him, and I would tell myself "No, I'm not going there." The more I did it, the less and less the temptation presented itself. After a while, I could actually come to terms with the whole situation and I could get on with my life.

That's my two yen.

Speak the truth, sista!

No, but seriously now, this is true, I can't believe I didn't think of it because I've said it many times before. I have a friend who broke up with someone ages ago and still isn't over it because she encourages those feelings of self-pity in herself. You don't want to do that, believe me, it makes you miserable.

Thanks everyone for their advice.. I think I will be alright.. given time anyway..

It's not like I am UBER sad. To be honest, a part of me is relieved..I wasn't sure about his relationship with Christ.

ChristianRonin wrote:It's not like I am UBER sad. To be honest, a part of me is relieved..I wasn't sure about his relationship with Christ.

That is always definately the most important aspects of things. Don't keep your expectations low. Keep them waaaaay high. Because God, with all his powers and awesomeness and such, will exceed your expectations by miles.

Mr. SmartyPants wrote:That is always definately the most important aspects of things. Don't keep your expectations low. Keep them waaaaay high. Because God, with all his powers and awesomeness and such, will exceed your expectations by miles.

Much agreed. If you're patient enough to wait for the guy he's got for ya

Hey Im single! Seriously though Ive been down this road before and I know it hurts; but the only thing you can do is pray for peace and give it time. And don't date anyone to get over the first person either. Itll only multiply your problems.

Oh man, I've had that EXACT same thing happen to me... T_T

No.

I mostly remember the one occasion this happened. It somewhat broke my heart 'coz I couldn't help wondering "What does that girl have that I don't?" "If only I was prettier or more friendly?"

I think the one thing that really helped me to get over it is keeping myself busy doing God's Work and trusting Him that He'll take care of me in the relationship department. Once you keep your eyes on the purpose God has in mind for you, things like this will no longer bother you.

I guess I had something similar done to me many years ago.
The girl I was dating was a co worker of my brother and she had been dating a friend of mine and my brother when we were all members of the same volunteer fire dept.
Well it took awhile to figure out after a year she was using me to keep tabs on my buddy because when I attend a dept function she was my date and he would also be there, but he had broke off from her because he had found someone else to date and then married.
When he got married I attended the wedding and reception and she didn't. Well right after that she broke off from me and dated someone she was working with and married. But I learned later she broke up with her husband and lives by herself.
I been single since then even thou I dated someone after that for a few years and then they moved out of the area.

Ashfire, I hope you find somebody one day

And Mave, I totally know that same feeling. I'd find myself asking "what do THEY have, that I don't?"

Then other questions pop into my head, such as "What do I have that they don't" (in a nonprideful manner) that tends to help me calm down, by focusing on who God made me as, and what type of young gal will fall for a guy like me =D

Thanks Buddy. I do hope I will before I get any older.

Seeing as how you are 17, I won't lecture you on dating, however...I'd stay away from it. It's rough, and it has far reaching consequences. Is the pain, sadness, and little joy that you are likely to feel worth it? Can you seriously consider marrying the person you are dating? If not, then you are just playing with their heart.

Mr. SmartyPants wrote:That is always definately the most important aspects of things. Don't keep your expectations low. Keep them waaaaay high. Because God, with all his powers and awesomeness and such, will exceed your expectations by miles.

Exactamundo!

Never had that exact scenario happened to me, but I have had girls I crushed on for a while hook up or become interested in somebody else. It's a yucky feeling at the time, but now that I look back on it, those relationships never would have actually worked anyways. So I was actually spared, to be honest.

Jesus. Halo. In that order.

Anyway, seriously, crushes aren't easy to let go of. Trust me, I know. But things do heal over time, even if it feels like your skins being scraped off in the burn unit, you'll get new skin, that'll probably be better.

...if you get my mildly disturbing parallel...

He sounds like a tiwit anyway if he lead you on like that.

LOL Thanks guys... Your advice really helps..

Now if only my friend would stop talking about him so much....>.> <.< ^^;

Nope, because most guys I liked either hated me or considered me as just a friend, right now, I'm happy with my boyfriend, and I'm slowly showing him what Christ is all about and he respects my fact that I love Christ(not to mention a few aniome bishies) before he came into my life, and I've been taking him with me to church, and hope he lets down some of what his point of views, who knows? Maybe he'll be saved, and that will be 2 souls I've saved so far^.^

No, that's never happened to me.

lol, something like that. I used to have a crush on this sweet guy friend. Unfortunately it was very unmutual and rather he was in love with my good friend! LoL so yea, life can be interesting. however, they're getting married in a few months and enough time has passed that i dont care anymore. it makes me happy

another frurstrating thing is when guy friends decide that they want to ask their girl friends for romance ADVICE. I tell you, the male species has rocks for brains sometimes! (especially if said guy KNOWS you like him, and yet insists on asking advice anyway. *shakes head*

FadedOne wrote:lol, something like that. I used to have a crush on this sweet guy friend. Unfortunately it was very unmutual and rather he was in love with my good friend! LoL so yea, life can be interesting. however, they're getting married in a few months and enough time has passed that i dont care anymore. it makes me happy

another frurstrating thing is when guy friends decide that they want to ask their girl friends for romance ADVICE. I tell you, the male species has rocks for brains sometimes! (especially if said guy KNOWS you like him, and yet insists on asking advice anyway. *shakes head*

Lol. Generally we do have rocks where squishy material should be. I know if i girl liked me she'd have to sideswipe my face to get it through.

I think our denseness comes from not partaking in romantic war games. I believe you ladies understand my meaning .

That's kinda what happened to me FadedOne....^^;

mm.. i've had a couple of similar situations happen to me, kinda. The first was that i liked this girl at the church and just as i was getting up enough courage to ask her out another of her friends started to set her up with this other guy. ultimately i asked her out only to find out that a couple of days before she'd started dating the other guy.

the other time was a girl at my work taht i had a big crush on but i really didn't know if we were too different etc. and kept putting off asking her out, and i ended up putting ot off for that long that she ended up dating this other guy from her church. i was gutted, i still can't believe how stupid to keep putting it off.

i jsut seem to have no luck with women, sigh.

i can empathise with your situation, if he knew that you liked him, and he did that thats kinda cruel.. but he could have been clueless, i know i've seen people who you would think would pick up on stuff like that, but ended up being oblivious so, you never know he amy well have been clueless.