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Parents... to clingy?

PostPosted: Tue Jan 17, 2006 4:36 pm
by Artist4Jesus89
Ok yeah i love my grandma :hug: (i consider her my parent since she is raising me) she knows i do but the second i mention that i will ever move out she starts to freak out i want to have a good relationship with her ya know but i dont know how she will react when i get married and move in with my husband i brought up this subject and i kinda think she wanted to move in with me whoever my future husband is i mean that will be ok and all but she cant stand me being away for 4 days then again i do start to miss her if im gone a long time but still i was just wondering is anyone elses parent/gaurdian this way or am i alone in this lol does anyone have any advice? :grin:

PostPosted: Tue Jan 17, 2006 4:39 pm
by Mr. SmartyPants
One sound peice of advice: You're 16 =D Don't be worrying about it now!

PostPosted: Tue Jan 17, 2006 5:07 pm
by Puguni
Wow. If you went to this summer camp I went to for three weeks without any real contact except through snail mail...

But anyway, no, my parents aren't like that. The example being the camp mentioned above. Sometimes I wish they were on that side a little; I think they are, they just don't express it. :O I keep asking my mom if she's going to cry when we go to my college orientation. XD

With your grandma, if you're going to miss her so much, it's a good thing we have awesome communications technology.

PostPosted: Tue Jan 17, 2006 5:33 pm
by Puritan
My parents made it clear that unless I was going to college or had a job and was working hard to get my own place, I was out of their house after high-school. Not that they wanted to get rid of me, but they thought it was really important I not stay at home the rest of my life. I love my parents, but I wanted to leave as well.

However, your situation doesn't seem too unusual to me, expecially if your Grandmother is alone. My mom would probably be the same way if my Dad died, she'd be reasonable but really want to be near my sister and/or myself. Your grandmother will probably get used to the idea as you get older. Finally, Mr. Smarty Pants has a good point, you likely have at least a couple years before this is a concern, so why worry about it now?

PostPosted: Tue Jan 17, 2006 5:43 pm
by Artist4Jesus89
well for the fact that i mean in 2 years ill be 18 and i dont know i might end up going to college in Japan and that will be hard for the both of us but mainly her i dunno time goes by so fast -_-'

PostPosted: Tue Jan 17, 2006 5:50 pm
by Mr. SmartyPants
Not to be offensive >_> But I find a lot of people saying they want to go to college in Japan and stuff. And I think a lot of people need to think twice when saying that.

Maybe its something you want to do, but is it what you were called to do? Is that God's plans for you?

PostPosted: Tue Jan 17, 2006 5:58 pm
by Yojimbo
Mr. SmartyPants wrote:Not to be offensive >_> But I find a lot of people saying they want to go to college in Japan and stuff. And I think a lot of people need to think twice when saying that.

Maybe its something you want to do, but is it what you were called to do? Is that God's plans for you?


Yeah I'd have to agree. I find most people who say that really haven't looked into it that much. I mean besides the matter about God's calling for you and all that it really would be quite difficult.

PostPosted: Tue Jan 17, 2006 7:02 pm
by Artist4Jesus89
i know im called to be a manga artist i have gotten many comformations on that i mean i just said i might be going to college there then again i dont know if i will be going to college at all i have to pray about that first but that would be my first choice

PostPosted: Tue Jan 17, 2006 7:08 pm
by Puritan
One piece of advice fraulein, you should go to college if at all possible. Even if you can't do so in Japan, find a good college in the US. The training is invaluable for any field of study, but especially so for people who want to go into relatively popular careers such as manga artist. I wish you the very best in your endeavors, and hope your Grandmother learns how to deal with your enevitable departure well.

PostPosted: Wed Jan 18, 2006 6:24 am
by EricTheFred
On your original subject, I think you need to realize that when you are sixteen, we parent/guardian types are first confronting the reality of you leaving. Your GM will have grown a bit more by the time you are ready to go.
Regardless, you need to realize she is also confronting her own age. And considering the possibility that with you gone, she may have no one taking care of her later. No matter what you do, take care to stay in contact with her, hear her concerns both for you and for herself, and make those part of your decisionmaking process. But don't make them the only thing! As my pastor likes to say, "Prayerfully consider" what you must do.
My biggest regret in life is my limited contact with my grandparents after I left home. It's too late to do anything about it, now. Stay in contact with her.

PostPosted: Wed Jan 18, 2006 6:25 am
by Aka-chan
I agree with pretty much everything said here. Also, even if the parent/grandparent/guardian seems too protective and clingy, you'd be surprised how well they can take something like a college separation. Not that it isn't hard, but it isn't always as bad as you'd expect. I've seen it happen.

PostPosted: Wed Jan 18, 2006 10:19 am
by Wild Eagle
I made a promise to my parents that when I get married and have a family, they will live with me.

I guess I'm the one that's too clingy. ^_^;

PostPosted: Wed Jan 18, 2006 11:04 am
by Yumie
There are a lot of options that could keep you close to your grandmother in the future without her actually having to LIVE with you. I mean, when you think about it, when you're a newly-wed you're probably not going to want to have your grandmother in the house with you :-P

For instance, you could try to buy a large lot with a house on it and build a smaller house by it for her to live in. That way you'd be really close, but she wouldn't have to be in your house. And she could come over and hang out a lot with you all. But, since all this is so far off, for now, I would make sure not to worry her. She may feel apprehensive about the future without you, so if you ease up to it and worry about it later it'd probably be easier on her. :thumb: