CAA: Christian Anime Alliance

i found this on a web site it did not really happen to me

We don't know how much something means, until we lose it.


I have a boyfriend who grew up with me. His name is Jin.
I always thought of him as a friend until last year, when we went to a trip
from a club. I found that I fell in love with him.
Before that trip was over, I took a step and confessed my love for him.
And soon, we became a pair of lovers, but we loved each other in different ways.
I always concentrated on him only, but by his side, there were so many other girls.
To me, he was the only one, but to him, maybe I was just another girl...
"Jin, do you want to go watch a movie?" I asked.
"I can't"
"Why? You need to study at home?" I felt disappointment grabbing me.
"No... I am going to meet a friend..."
He was always like that.
He met girls in front of me, like it was nothing.
To him, I was just a girlfriend.
The word 'love' only came out from my mouth.
Since I knew him, I had never heard him say 'I love you' before.
To us, there weren't any anniversaries at all. He didn't say anything from the first day and it continued till 100 days...200 days...
Everyday, before we say goodbye, he would just hand me a doll, everyday, without fail. I don't know why...
Then one day...
Me: Um, Jin, I ...
Jin: What...don't drag, just say..
Me: I love you.
Jin: ......you....um, just take this doll and go home.
That was how he ignored my 'three words' and handed me the doll.
Then he disappeared, like he was running away.
The dolls I received from him everyday, filled my room, one by one. There were many...
Then one day came, my 15th year old birthday.
When I got up in the morning, I pictured a party with him, and stranded myself in my room, waiting for his call.
But... lunch passed, dinner passed... and soon the sky was dark... he still didn't call.
It was already tiring to look at the phone anymore.
Then around 2 am in the morning, he suddenly called me and woke me from my sleep. He told me to come out of the house.
Still, I felt joy and I ran out happily.
Me: Jin...
Jin: Here...take this...
Again, he handed me a little doll.
Me: What's this?
Jin: I didn't give it to you yesterday, so I am giving it to you now. I'm going home now, bye.
Me: Wait, wait! Do you know what today is?
Jin: Today? Huh?
I felt so sad, I thought he would remember my birthday.
He turned around and walked away like nothing had happen.
Then I shouted...
"Wait..."
Jin: You have something to say?
Me: Tell me, tell me you love me...
Jin: What?!
Me: Tell me
I put my pathetic self behind and clung on to him.
But he just said simple cold words and left.
"I don't want to say...that I love someone so easily, if you are desperate to hear it, then find someone else."
That was what he said. Then he ran off.
My legs felt numb...and I collapsed to the ground. He didn't want to say it easily...
How could he....
I felt that...
Maybe he is not the right guy for me...
After that day, I stranded myself at home crying, just crying.
He didn't call me, although I was waiting.
He just continued handing me a little doll every morning outside my house.
That's how those dolls piled up in my room... everyday
After a month, I got myself together and went to school.
But what made the pain resurface was that... I saw him on a street...with another girl...
He had a smile on his face, one that he never showed me...
as he touched the doll...
I ran straight back home and looked at the dolls in my room, and tears fell...
Why did he gave these to me...
Those dolls are probably picked out by some other girls...
In a fit of anger, I threw the dolls around.
Then suddenly, the phone rang. It was him.
He told me to come out to the bus stop outside my house.
I tried to calm myself down and walked to the bus stop.
I kept reminding myself that I am going to forget him, that... it's going to end.
Then he came into my sight, holding a big doll.
Jin: Jo, I thought you were mad, you really came?
I couldn't help hating him, acting like nothing had happen and joking around.
Soon, he held out the doll as usual...
Me: I don't need it.
Jin: What....why...
I grabbed the doll from his hands and threw it on the road.
Me: I don't need this doll, I don't need it anymore!! I don't want to see a person like you again!
I spitted out all the words that were inside me. But unlike other days, his eyes very shaking.
"I'm sorry" He apologized in a tiny voice.
He then walked over to the road to pick up the doll...
Me: You stupid! Why are you picking up the doll?! Just throw it away!!!
But he ignored me and just went to pick the doll.
Then...
Honk~ Honk~
With a loud honk, a big truck was heading towards him.
"Jin! Move! Move away!" I shouted...
But he didn't hear me, he squatted down and picked up the doll.
"Jin, move!"
HONK~!!
"Boom!" That sound, so terrifying.
That's how he went away from me.
That's how he went away without even opening his eyes to say one word to me.
After that day, I had to go through everyday with guiltiness and the sadness of losing him...
And after spending two months like a crazy person...
I took out the dolls.
Those were the only gifts he left me since the day we started going out.
I remembered the days I spent with him and started to count the days... when we were in love...
"One...two... three..."
That was how... I started to count the dolls...
"Four hundred and eighty four... four hundred and eighty five..."
It all ended with 485 dolls.
I then started to cry again, with a doll in my arms.
I hugged it tightly, then suddenly...
"I love you~, I love you~"
I dropped the dolls,shocked.
"I....lo..ve...you??"
I picked up the dolls and pressed its stomach.
"I love you~ I love you~"
It can't be!
I pressed all the dolls' stomach as it piled on the side.
"I love you~"
"I love you~"
"I love you~"
Those words came out non-stop.
I...love you...
Why didn't I realize that...
That his heart was always by my side, protecting me.
Why didn't I realize that he loves me this much...
I took out the doll under the bed and pressed it's stomach,
that was the last doll, the one that fell on the road.
It had his blood stain on it.
The voice came out, the on that I was missing so much...
"Jo...Do you know what today is? We've been loving each
other for 486 days. Do you know what 486 is? I couldn't say I love you.... Um... since I was too shy...
If you forgive me and take this doll, I will say that I love you... everyday... till I die... Jo... I love you..."
The tears came flowing out of me. Why? Why? I asked God, why do I only know about all this now?
He can't be by my side, but he loved me until his last minute...
For that... and for that reason... to me... it became courage... to live a beautiful life...

please i beg you dont make this mistake. live your life to the fullest

Man, that made me cry. Is that a true story?

This made me cry...thank you Ani-chan...

It's not often that reading something brings tears to my eyes...

Is that a true story???

I don't like stories like those T__T they make me really sad

I like happy endings, not sad ones

i found it on a website. ravenswift-rainbow.net or some thing like that. i dont know id have to ask her. but if i didnt happen to her she might have been fowarded it

I almost cried, although it takes of lot of something to make me cry. And I agree with MSP ; stories should have happy endings, not sad ones.

I felt sick. I felt like crying but mostl just burned and sad in the heart. Thanks AM.

AnimeMute wrote:i found it on a website. ravenswift-rainbow.net or some thing like that. i dont know id have to ask her. but if i didnt happen to her she might have been fowarded it

I doubt it's real... a lot of these kinds of stories go around the net

Mr. SP has a good point.
But even as a fictional story it was very deeply emotional. *sob*

Hmmm, about a month or two ago this would have made me really sad and stuff, but recently I've been going through a lot of teenage drama with a lot of my friends, and I'm just kind of tired of teenage romance in general, lol. But it's still a sweet story, I just wish my opinion of it wasn't shaded like it is. I also wonder if it's a true story or just something someone made up. More than likely its made up, but you never know.

So is Jin an engineer or something? Where did he get all those materials... is his dad an importer/exporter for China or something?

I felt the ending was rather contrived. It could have been a beautiful story, but the author had to ruin it with a death.

Aww that was a really sweet story. But very sad.

i mainly posted in hopes someone would not make a horrible mistake like that

[quote="stories should have happy endings, not sad ones.[/QUOTE"]
life is not happy!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! sorry for the outburst but it gets on my nerves when people think every thing is nice and happy and full of rainbows and crap

im not saying you think that. its just that americans are desensitized

But...but I love happy and rainbows!

Seriously though...I dont think all people in America are desensitized. I just think people would prefer for things not to end so unhappily. People dont like pain and whether physical or emotional they tend to want to avoid it at all costs. Thats just the way humans are. Not just in America but all over the world. Unfortunately there are many unhappy endings and a vast amount of unhappiness in general in this world. Its just part of life. Because man sinned there is unhappiness in the world. But we still have hope. Thank goodness for Jesus eh?

let me refrase that. there are quite a few americans who are desensitized.

Eh. I dunno, man. I kind of doubt this is true. And also...it didn't really affect me emotionally because it sounded so much like one of those chain emails.