I r Bak
PostPosted: Sun Nov 06, 2005 4:46 am
Yes, Prance up and down, the almighty Jman has teturned
HS5K: Behold the cave of JMAN!
ASHLEY: Right! Keep me covered.
SHATTERHEART: What with?
ASHLEY: W-- just keep me covered.
HS5K: Too late!
ASHLEY: What?
HS5K: There he is!
ASHLEY: Where?
HS5K: There!
ASHLEY: What, behind the JMAN?
HS5K: It is the JMAN.
ASHLEY: You silly sod!
HS5K: What?
ASHLEY: You got us all worked up!
HS5K: Well, that's no ordinary JMAN!
ASHLEY: Ohh.
HS5K: That's the most foul, cruel, and bad-tempered CAA member you ever set eyes on!
SHATTERHEART: You silly! I soiled my pants I was so scared!
HS5K: Look, that JMAN's got a vicious streak a mile wide! It's a killer!
SHATTERHEART: Get stuffed!
HS5K: He'll do you up a treat, mate.
SHATTERHEART: Oh, yeah?
HS5K: I'm warning you!
SHATTERHEART: What's he do, nibble your leg?
HS5K: He's got huge, sharp-- eh-- he can leap about-- look at the bones!
ASHLEY: Go on, (some random CAA member). Chop his head off!
(SOME RANDOM CAA MEMBER): Right! Silly little bleeder. One JMAN stew comin' right up!
HS5K: Look!
(SOME RANDOM CAA MEMBER): Aaaugh!
[dramatic chord]
ASHLEY: Wow!
HS5K: I warned you!
SHATTERHEART: I done it again!
HS5K: I warned you, but did you listen to me? Oh, no, you knew it all, didn't you? Oh, it's just a harmless little JMAN, isn't it? Well, it's always the same. I always tell them--
ASHLEY: Oh, shut up!
HS5K: Do they listen to me?
ASHLEY: Right!
HS5K: Oh, no...
SHATTERHEART: Charge! Aaaaugh!, Aaaugh!, etc.
ASHLEY: Run away! Run away!
SHATTERHEART: Run away! Run away!...
HS5K: Ha ha ha ha! Ha haw haw! Ha! Ha ha!
ASHLEY: Right. How many did we lose?
SHATTERHEART: we lost two random CAA members
ASHLEY: And (some random CAA member). That's five.
SHATTERHEART: Three, ma’am.
ASHLEY: Three. Three. And we'd better not risk another frontal assault. That JMAN's dynamite.
SHATTERHEART: Would it help to confuse it if we run away more?
ASHLEY: Oh, shut up and go and change your pants.
SHATTERHEART: Let us taunt it! It may become so cross that it will make a mistake.
ASHLEY: Like what?
SHATTERHEART: Well... ooh. We have the Moderator Hand Grenade.
ASHLEY: Yes, of course! The Moderator Hand Grenade of CAA! 'Tis one of the sacred relics Mithrandir carries with him! Mithrandir! Bring up the Moderator Hand Grenade!
CAA MONKS: Pie Iesu domine, dona eis requiem.
ASHLEY: How does it, um-- how does it work?
SHATTERHEART: I know not, my liege.
ASHLEY: Consult the Book of Armaments!
MITHRANDIR: Armaments, chapter two, verses nine to twenty-one. And Saint Attila raised the hand grenade up on high, saying, 'O Lord, bless this Thy hand grenade that, with it, Thou mayest blow Thine enemies to tiny bits in Thy mercy.' And the Lord did grin, and the people did feast upon the lambs and sloths and carp and anchovies and orangutans and breakfast cereals and fruit bats and large chu--
ASHLEY: Skip a bit, Brother.
MITHRANDIR: And the Lord spake, saying, 'First shalt thou take out the Moderator Pin. Then, shalt thou count to three. No more. No less. Three shalt be the number thou shalt count, and the number of the counting shall be three. Four shalt thou not count, nor either count thou two, excepting that thou then proceed to three. Five is right out. Once the number three, being the third number, be reached, then, lobbest thou thy Moderator Hand Grenade of CAA towards thy foe, who, being naughty in My sight, shall snuff it.'
ASHLEY: Amen.
SHATTERHEART: Amen.
ASHLEY: Right! One!... Two!... Five!
SHATTERHEART: Three, ma’am!
ASHLEY: Three!
[BOOM!!!]
