Thank you for your input everyone.
Gypsy, that song made me think of another by Sara Groves that goes
"Every time I find healing you're making a new mess
And I am learning the real meaning of forgiveness
And it hurts when you hit at the hearts of the ones I love
When everything you touch is rumble and dust
And it gets so hard to know how to trust
But I will not let that bitter root grow
I will not let it no no"
And between the two songs, yea, that says alot. I don't think I have to trust this person, Alice, forgiviness means forgivness, period, which alone is alot, but it does not mean you automaticly earn back trust or creditability. I will not expect the worst from this person, because that is not giving them a chance, but I will be wary of them all the same. Careful, I guess.
Myoti, I understand. I am very cirtical at times, and I need to watch myself, but I become more aware of how it hurts when I'm on the recieving end, or affected by it, as I am now. The thing is, this person used to be kind to the one they spoke ill of. That is what hurts even more. You would hope that in a healthy relationship you would talk about these things, not back bite.