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Goodbye to goodbye threads...

PostPosted: Fri Oct 21, 2005 6:18 pm
by Zilch
Plain and simple. I'm just sick of 'em. Yes, this is a rant. No, I don't care if you think I'm an angsty teenager looking for ways to vent his pressure.

What do you want, people to bring out the tissues, get addresses? How about a casket? Sorry, but honestly, most people don't care (if they were honest). Leave your email and IM addy, and let us get on with our lives.

And for the sake of Pete, don't reply to one of your goodbye threads! That screams "Give me attention!".

Yeah, I had a goodbye thread before. But I also didn't reply to it. If I leave CAA again, I'm not going to leave a goodbye thread, because if people wonder where I went, they'll email me through the site. Simple as that.

So if you want attention, find a grandparent.

Sorry if I come across as harsh. I'm just bored with the entire idea.

PostPosted: Fri Oct 21, 2005 6:22 pm
by Locke
Some people need attention, some people dont.
Personaly I like people telling me if they are dropping fromt the face of the earth.

My .2 cents and a nickle for fun.

PostPosted: Fri Oct 21, 2005 6:35 pm
by rii namuras
(Beware, for I am a homeschool debater.)

(Well, for those of us whose only communication is through the forums... Goodbye threads are pretty much essential. Because some of us have parental rules that forbid the leaving of emails and IMs.)

(That's good and fine if you don't want to leave one. But some of us like to know when people have left or are leaving for a small while or for a while. Sure, we could just tell the person or few persons that know personally, and then they could tell everyone else. But if there were no goodbye threads, then they'd have to wait to be asked. And what are the chances that these people would be asked? For most users, slim.)

(To sum up, you can not leave one if you want, but some of us need them. So stop complaining.)

(And no offense was taken or meant. As I said above, I'm a veteran debater and have a tendacy to make an argument that would normally be a few sentences into a whole speech.)

PostPosted: Fri Oct 21, 2005 6:42 pm
by Ingemar
You could just ignore them </problem solved>.

PostPosted: Fri Oct 21, 2005 7:02 pm
by Mangafanatic
In the same breath, I agree and disagree. I agree that rant/hate leaving threads are pointless. On the other hand, I'd want to know that members I really liked were leaving. Like Coby-chan, maybe she thought goodbye threads were dumb too? But no one knows where she is, and I, for one, would like to.

I think goodbye threads, done properly, can be good.

PostPosted: Fri Oct 21, 2005 7:11 pm
by Debitt
*shrugs* I don't particularly see the point in good-bye threads. I took a break once and just PMed my closer friends - if anyone else really expresses any concern about where I'd gone off to, I'm sure someone would say something.

At any rate, it is a bit annoying having the General forum filled with good-bye posts. Not that I don't care if someone is leaving, but I don't particularly like wading through all the angst either.

PostPosted: Fri Oct 21, 2005 7:31 pm
by Shao Feng-Li
Ingemar wrote:You could just ignore them </problem solved>.

*nod*

PostPosted: Fri Oct 21, 2005 8:03 pm
by JediSonic
I'd say goodbye threads are justified if you really are leaving (like Volt did). But if you're coming back, save some space and dont make a thread about it :thumb:

PostPosted: Fri Oct 21, 2005 8:34 pm
by Warrior4Christ
I think goodbye threads are a very good idea. Much better than the pointless "how will the person below you die" -that's just stupid and morbid.
Goodbye threads are there for a reason. Just ignore it if you don't like them.

PostPosted: Fri Oct 21, 2005 8:53 pm
by Scribs
I too dislike most goodbye threads, however some like volts are not bad. If a person is actually leaving, for good, no way they are going to stay, I think a goodbye thread with one post by the leaver is appropirate. The threads that drive me crazy are the ones that are like "I am leaving in two weeks for a one week vacation! I am going to miss you all so much! By the time the two or three people who actually post on the thread have stopped spamming with messages like "Omg! I will miss Randommember so much!" and "yeah me too!!!" and "well at least we have eachother" and then "yay I am back" and then the others will go on for at least another page about it. I mean come on! If the person had not posted that thread noone would even have noticed they were absent for a week! Sometimes these threads are made for weekend absneses. WEEKEND ABSENSES FOR GOODNESS SAKE!

I think that there should be an official "temporary absenses thread", so that we are not swamped with all these useless wastes of thread.

Another thing that bugs me is when a person announces that they will permanently leave the site in x number of days, they make a big fuss and to do, about it and then when the date of departure comes, they dont leave! If you are going to make us all sit through days of anticipation, the least you could do would be to acctually have the decency to leave when you say you will.

Well thats my rant for the month.

PostPosted: Fri Oct 21, 2005 8:59 pm
by Warrior 4 Jesus
Yes, I meant the permanently (or very long term) threads are a very good idea. But the whole leaving for several days goodbye threads are a bit pathetic and pointless really.

PostPosted: Fri Oct 21, 2005 9:44 pm
by Warrior4Christ
Warrior4Christ wrote:I think goodbye threads are a very good idea. Much better than the pointless "how will the person below you die" -that's just stupid and morbid.
Goodbye threads are there for a reason. Just ignore it if you don't like them.

Just for the record, that was Warrior 4 Jesus, not me.

PostPosted: Fri Oct 21, 2005 9:54 pm
by Orange Kitten
I don't see the point of goodbye threads either. It's not like you physically LIVE here and when you move you're gone...this is the INTERNET. Can't just not sign on?

PostPosted: Fri Oct 21, 2005 9:57 pm
by the_lizardqueen
Scribs wrote:The threads that drive me crazy are the ones that are like "I am leaving in two weeks for a one week vacation! I am going to miss you all so much! By the time the two or three people who actually post on the thread have stopped spamming with messages like "Omg! I will miss Randommember so much!" and "yeah me too!!!" and "well at least we have eachother" and then "yay I am back" and then the others will go on for at least another page about it.
I must confess that I've posted one or two 'going away for two weeks, etc.' threads, although that was during the summer when I was typically logging on several times daily, and I was working on some delayed art requests. So maybe that justifies it, I just hate to suddenly dissapear altogether without notice :sweat:

But I really, really do like Scrib's suggestion about an official 'temporary absenses' thread. (sorry if I'm meandering off topic)

PostPosted: Fri Oct 21, 2005 10:08 pm
by Scribs
yes, I too am guilty of making a temporary absence thread, though I did try to discuise it as a poll on what people think of the state of virginia.

PostPosted: Fri Oct 21, 2005 10:25 pm
by Joshua Christopher
I just like to leave and not tell anyone. More fun. Because I'm the villain.

PostPosted: Fri Oct 21, 2005 10:53 pm
by ~Natsumi Lam~
i say if you have a problem with them.... dont post on them.

~NL~

PostPosted: Sat Oct 22, 2005 12:18 am
by Stephen
I don't like the threads much myself to be honost. I feel like if you actaully care about someone, or people in general...you will take a step past a generic "I am leaving" thread...and email people. *shrug* If its a serious one, like Volts. Thats fine. If its a "I am going to the bathroom" sort of thing....(yes thats sarcasm folks) Then I think its kind of attention seeking. Just my 2 cents.

PostPosted: Sat Oct 22, 2005 12:51 am
by Eriana
~Natsumi Lam~ wrote:i say if you have a problem with them.... dont post on them.

~NL~


Agreed.

PostPosted: Sat Oct 22, 2005 9:45 am
by Yojimbo
Thank you for making this thread Zilch! This has been knawing at me for sheesh like a year... If you're actually not going to be getting on CAA for oh let's say AT LEAST 6 months and I mean no contact here at all then a goodbye thread is fitting. But if you're just going be gone for a month comeon that is pointless it's just a cry for attention. Especially when someone has to make it so melodramatic and sad... It honestly makes me want to shove my fist down my throat. What's worse is when these people come back who say they're never coming back like two months later like nothing even happened. Unless you're going to the Gobi Desert you're going to have internet access so unless it's an issue of staying away by personal choice you're probably going to be able to get on CAA. Anyway....enough of that.

PostPosted: Sat Oct 22, 2005 10:43 am
by Nate
Scribs and Jimbo pretty much summed up my feelings on the matter. When my dad died, I left CAA for about three days or so (I had anticipated a week), but rather than put up a goodbye thread, I merely PMd the people I knew would be concerned. I think that email or PMs would be better for temporary absences. However, I also believe a thread like Volt's was a good leaving thread, because he doesn't plan to come back, and he hasn't replied to it. I find that commendable.

I doubt I'll ever leave CAA for good, but if I did, I would probably post in my livejournal instead of making a thread on CAA. The link to my LJ is in my sig, so people who cared could click on that and see what's going on, and it wouldn't be wasting space in the forums.

PostPosted: Sat Oct 22, 2005 10:55 am
by Roy Mustang
I guess if people feel that they just asking for attention in threads like that. Then maybe we need to do away with the pray board, since that like asking for attention to have them pray for them.


Wingzero22

PostPosted: Sat Oct 22, 2005 11:03 am
by uc pseudonym
I am of two minds about this. In one sense, yes, there are far too many goodbye threads, and many of them are for rather minor things. I also don't see a purpose in making a goodbye thread if you will still have access to the internet.

But on the other hand, I've used them in the past and I'd be willing to defend their use. If I am gone for an extended period of time without telling people, I tend to get numerous private messages complaining that I'm not answering. Also, I have a few obligations that will obviously be neglected when I am gone (not to mention moderating), and like people to know the reason that nothing has been done.

However, I try to limit my threads as much as possible. For short absences that will effect only a few obligations, I only post in the relevant threads.

PostPosted: Sat Oct 22, 2005 11:17 am
by Scribs
I guess if people feel that they just asking for attention in threads like that. Then maybe we need to do away with the pray board, since that like asking for attention to have them pray for them.


well, asking for prayer is considerably different from making a goodbye thread. Asking for prayer has a purpose other than just wanting attention, it is a request for prayer. A goodbye thread for somone who isnt leaving, or who is coming back in a very short ammount of time serves no purpose besides an announcement (unless they are asking for prayer allong with it in which case it is actually a prayer thread and I would have no problem with it.)

PostPosted: Sat Oct 22, 2005 11:20 am
by Eriana
Hmm...Not so sure.

PostPosted: Sat Oct 22, 2005 11:21 am
by Eriana
uc pseudonym wrote:I am of two minds about this. In one sense, yes, there are far too many goodbye threads, and many of them are for rather minor things. I also don't see a purpose in making a goodbye thread if you will still have access to the internet.

But on the other hand, I've used them in the past and I'd be willing to defend their use. If I am gone for an extended period of time without telling people, I tend to get numerous private messages complaining that I'm not answering. Also, I have a few obligations that will obviously be neglected when I am gone (not to mention moderating), and like people to know the reason that nothing has been done.

However, I try to limit my threads as much as possible. For short absences that will effect only a few obligations, I only post in the relevant threads.


I agree with you there.

PostPosted: Sat Oct 22, 2005 11:31 am
by Roy Mustang
Scribs wrote:well, asking for prayer is considerably different from making a goodbye thread. Asking for prayer has a purpose other than just wanting attention, it is a request for prayer. A goodbye thread for somone who isnt leaving, or who is coming back in a very short ammount of time serves no purpose besides an announcement (unless they are asking for prayer allong with it in which case it is actually a prayer thread and I would have no problem with it.)


I can understand that some people do think the goodbye threads that have people say they are not coming back and do come back are annoying.

But to me, if someone looks at it as, they are just drawing attention to their self. Aren't we all by posting here in the first place? Every post, thread does draw attention in a way, people look at them and reply to them, which is good thing. Yes, there is good attention and bad attention, but I just don't understand why people get so uptight if someone is getting attention.

The best thing to do with good bye threads is,

A. don't reading them, if they bug you.

B. if you do read them, just take them as a gain of salt and don't worry too much about it.

Wingzero22

PostPosted: Sat Oct 22, 2005 11:35 am
by Eriana
That's good advice Wingzero.
Maybe the reason people get so irritated about good-bye threads is because they want some attention too? I have no idea, I'm still trying to figure this one out the best I can.

PostPosted: Sat Oct 22, 2005 12:05 pm
by starfire
I left once for about a year. I never made a goodbye thread, but did accidentaly make two "I'm back threads". *cringes* When I came back on, I remember thinking, oh, where did this or that person go? Confusing.O.O

I don't really find them annoying. As others have said, if you don't like them, don't read them. They can be useful. It's good to know if a friend isn't going to be on.

It's funny to me that in forums, you can actually make friends, at least that you notice when they're gone.

PostPosted: Sat Oct 22, 2005 12:42 pm
by Eriana
starfire wrote:I left once for about a year. I never made a goodbye thread, but did accidentaly make two "I'm back threads". *cringes* When I came back on, I remember thinking, oh, where did this or that person go? Confusing.O.O

I don't really find them annoying. As others have said, if you don't like them, don't read them. They can be useful. It's good to know if a friend isn't going to be on.

It's funny to me that in forums, you can actually make friends, at least that you notice when they're gone.


Agreed.
I would notice immediately if one of my friends was not there. The relavence in making a "good-bye thread" is in someways pointless, and in other ways if you wanted to announce it as a public hearing then it's fine. Your sick of it? Simple, don't read the thread. You want to offer guidance or prayer? Read it. There will always be sides to things that we have to decide for ourselves, is it really that important? It's totally on that person's head to decide whether or not he/she will do something about it. I think the reason people even ever post threads like that is to inform everyone in case they have any questions. I don't know, this is only my opinion...