Attraction: Guys vs. Girls

[JediSonic]

I've heard that while guys are drawn to girls they find physically attractive, girls are more concerned with the emotional factor (ie, want someone to love them). How true have you all found this to be, and does it apply primarily to lust (meaning inordinate sexual desire in this case) or also to healthy/pure relationships/marraiges/thoughts?

The question i have for girls then would be, how important is physical attraction in finding a guy?

[Felix]

Hmm...this thread reeks of deja vu.
First off. Initial reaction to meeting a girl in person is "Oh she's cute." Or "Well she's ok." My mind proccesses either of those thoughts before I can blink.
But... for instance, 3 of my best online friends aren't much at like the "model girl" or anything, and yet they're some of the most awesomest people ever and I don't need to worry about physical qualities. Some girls that I find attractive...well their personality makes the, unattractive and that, in turn cancels out any attractiveness I first found in them. On the other side, getting to know the person inside a girl's God-given body is a great way to develop a relationship...then God'll blow any physical boundries out of the water. You will be able to see a girl who you maybe at first thought was just ok, as a beautiful creation of God, whether or not they look anything like your image of an attractive girl. Because an attractive girl is an attractive girl, not just what her body looks like. And who sets the boundaries for what makes a girl's body attractive anyway?
That was way off topic to the original question, but oh well.

[Alice]

In my experience, guys *are* influenced primarily by looks, at least at first. But that doesn't mean that's how they'll decide who they have a relationship with. It's just something I've noticed as being the first thing a guy notices.

I think emotional stuff is more important to women. But certainly women aren't immune to being physically attracted to guys.

Hopefully no one makes relationship calls on JUST looks, whatever their gender.

[Joshua Christopher]

I'm only attracted to girls with sideburns.

[Kisa]

guys are visual/physical and girls emotional.....

[JediSonic]

Hmm...this thread reeks of deja vu.

If there's already been a thread addressing the same question as this one, I'd love to have the link and apologize for the redundancy. ]
In my experience, guys *are* influenced primarily by looks, at least at first. But that doesn't mean that's how they'll decide who they have a relationship with. It's just something I've noticed as being the first thing a guy notices.

I think emotional stuff is more important to women. But certainly women aren't immune to being physically attracted to guys.

Hopefully no one makes relationship calls on JUST looks, whatever their gender.
[/quote]

I know from experience as a guy that the first thing we are attracted to is looks (physical beauty and/or "hotness"). Obviously, I wouldnt base a relationship off them but they are important in most guys' minds. So should I take it that in general if a girl is attracted to a guy it's not primarily because of looks?

[Stephen]

guys are visual/physical and girls emotional.....

Heh. Not always. I think people hate to admit it...but looks are always the first thing people notice. Now, noticing...and focusing are two different things. I might notice that a girl is attractive...but If I care about her...that quickly switches over to how stable she is emotionaly. From my expierence...somtimes a girl can be the most attractive thing on the planet...but have the emotional and mental stability of a bowl of potatoes. Thus, at least to me....I think mental and emotional maturity and stability are more important then physical looks. Remember people, an out of shape person can get in shape...a nutcase is usualy a nutcase for life.

[Debitt]

Naturally I notice looks first because most people don't necessarily wear their entire character on their sleeve.

When speaking in terms of romantic attraction however, I usually say "I look for personality. Looks are just an added bonus."

[dragonshimmer]

I'm wondering in what context this question needs to be taken. I think we ALL at least NOTICE if someone of the opposite sex is attractive or not.

Personally, I used to notice if someone was and go from there and use that to get to know someone to decide if I might want to date them. In other words, it would be like "Oh, he's cute. I should get to know him to see what he's like." I'd like to note that all of my relationships that started that way failed miserably. That doesn't need to apply to anyone else, I just find in interesting that those scenarios have bombed for me.

But since I've gotten older (and maybe a little wiser) I've found that has nothing to do with whether or not I want to get to know someone better. More and more lately, I'm finding that the emotional factor is what draws me to someone initially, and THEN I see them as one of the most attractive guys I know, a handsome creation of God. This is especially true in my current relationship.

[Felix]

If there's already been a thread addressing the same question as this one, I'd love to have the link and apologize for the redundancy.

Oh no, I don't think there's a thread onthe same question before, I was just noticing all the different threads being put out at the moment about different attractions and such with guys and girls. ^^;

[Alice]

I know from experience as a guy that the first thing we are attracted to is looks (physical beauty and/or "hotness"). Obviously, I wouldnt base a relationship off them but they are important in most guys' minds. So should I take it that in general if a girl is attracted to a guy it's not primarily because of looks?

I'm not sure. I don't think I can speak for most girls. Physical attractiveness is important to me, especially in anime characters.

But in real guys, and in guys I REALLY like, that's not the main thing. At all.

[~Natsumi Lam~]

well to me physical attraction is important. Part of the reason i chose who i was going to date is this...

1. Christian
2. Good moral Character
3. Martial artist
4. Azn or of foreign decent


so it is kinda important to me about looks because i really only like azns. But the first three must be fulfilled.

~NL~

[Heart of Sword]

I'm rather dense, so I probably couldn't tell a prince from the guy next door. In all honesty, no matter what anyone else says, as long as he's a Christian and is good to me and good to animals, and has a sense of humor, it doesn't matter.

However bishonen are usually different. XD

I've noticed that this kind of thread has been around a lot lately. Is it almost valentine's day or something?

[Alice]

I'm rather dense, so I probably couldn't tell a prince from the guy next door. In all honesty, no matter what anyone else says, as long as he's a Christian and is good to me and good to animals, and has a sense of humor, it doesn't matter.

I've noticed that this kind of thread has been around a lot lately. Is it almost valentine's day or something?

You rock, Heart of Sword. It's true there have been a lot of threads like this lately (and they often end up the same way -- shameless flirting). But hopefully people learn something from them, at least. xD;

[Heart of Sword]

Well if it's valentine's day then I need a valentine.

HEY, WILL ANYONE HERE BE MY VALENTINE???

Kidding...

[mitsuki lover]

I'm pretty much attracted to any girl who has the Girl Next Door type of sexual
appeal to her.I.e. girls like Yuki Saiko,Kagome,Mituski Sanada and Rara,Winry,
Haruka,etc.

[Alice]

Well if it's valentine's day then I need a valentine.

HEY, WILL ANYONE HERE BE MY VALENTINE???

Kidding...

Not You Too~!

I will not be your Valentine. I will, however, eat your Valentines. Mm, fiber.

[Heart of Sword]

You can have my valentines

[Alice]

You can have my valentines

Crunchin'

....I guess we can tell where Mitsuki Lover stands.

[dareiq s'an]

with me and my girlfriend it was love at first sight...would that cualify me as a physicaly atracted person?

[chibiphonebooth]

well guys..hm.

physical: i really like tall, thin guys with long hair and glasses. yes im wierd. O.o but i love guys like that. SO MUCH.

personalitywise: i absolutly ADORE guys who make me laugh. ADORE ADORRRREE them. XD and they hafta be nice, and sweet, and actually care about me and know i actually exist. >.>
and they should love god. and um... be freindly. and outgoing. XD

[agasfas]

I doubt you can just say that only guys look towards physical attraction... In school I remember girls gossiping about how hot or cute this one guy was (sometimes a teacher), knowing nothing about them.

In all honesty, I don't think all physcial attraction is based off of lust. Everyone has their standards of what they find attractive... I think it's only natural to be attracted to the person you are with.

I think that whether we want to admit it or not, that guy and girls are similar in respects that not all guys are serious about relationships, nor are all girls... then on the flip-side there are a number of guys who are serious in looking for a relationship and do value morals and look for emotional compatibility, as there are girls who do as well.

I guess my point is that there are people from both genders who take notice to physical attraction, and there are people from both sides that look towards other things like emotional aspects.

[Joshua Christopher]

There are entire threads devoted to pretty Jrockers and pretty anime boys.

So, of course only guys care about looks. : P

[Alice]

I doubt you can just say that only guys look towards physical attraction... In school I remember girls gossiping about how hot or cute this one guy was (sometimes a teacher), knowing nothing about them.

In all honesty, I don't think all physcial attraction is based off of lust. Everyone has their standards of what they find attractive... I think it's only natural to be attracted to the person you are with.

I think that whether we want to admit it or not, that guy and girls are similar in respects that not all guys are serious about relationships, nor are all girls... then on the flip-side there are a number of guys who are serious in looking for a relationship and do value morals and look for emotional compatibility, as there are girls who do as well.

I guess my point is that there are people from both genders who take notice to physical attraction, and there are people from both sides that look towards other things like emotional aspects.

This is certainly a well-balanced opinion.

[JediSonic]

It's absolutely true that not all physical attraction is based off of lust. Lust is simply a distortion of the healthy attraction God put in place as a basic part of human nature.

[shooraijin]

"Based off" != "synonymous with"

[Mithrandir]

For clarity's sake... You may want to extract the geek from that (or at least subtitle it). I'm not sure everyone knows that != means "is not equal to."

[JediSonic]

lol

What's your point, Shooraijin? I just agreeing with agasfas; maybe I didnt word my post very well?

[Mithrandir]

It's absolutely true that not all physical attraction is based off of lust. Lust is simply a distortion of the healthy attraction God put in place as a basic part of human nature.

This is likely off-topic, but I heard it said (from a very wise person) that all sin is mearly a distortion of something good.

[RefractedAhav]

...a nutcase is usualy a nutcase for life.

:dizzy: I guess I'm going to be single for life then.

"Based off" != "synonymous with"

Ich spreche keine geek.