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When people hurt you...

PostPosted: Sun Sep 25, 2005 4:58 am
by ~Natsumi Lam~
When people make you so upset you dont know what to do or say..... how do you walk it off?

Sometimes you can read your bible, pray and so on ... but what if you are way past the nice stage and reading and praying are not helping.....[yes i know the verse about the bible not being void]

~NL~

PostPosted: Sun Sep 25, 2005 5:51 am
by steelbeliever
phew...good question...i have anger management problems that i deal with all the time and let me tell you...it's not easy when someone is being a jerk to you...often when i'm mad i can't sit still long enough to read so i go and play some basketball with my brother or play hockey with my friends or something...something to beat out my anger until i can think about the situation clearly...i have acted rashly because of my anger before...it wasn't pretty...i always pray but someitmes to get rid of immediate anger i have to move around to get rid of pent up energy, y'know?

PostPosted: Sun Sep 25, 2005 6:00 am
by ~Natsumi Lam~
steelbeliever wrote:phew...good question...i have anger management problems that i deal with all the time and let me tell you...it's not easy when someone is being a jerk to you...often when i'm mad i can't sit still long enough to read so i go and play some basketball with my brother or play hockey with my friends or something...something to beat out my anger until i can think about the situation clearly...i have acted rashly because of my anger before...it wasn't pretty...i always pray but someitmes to get rid of immediate anger i have to move around to get rid of pent up energy, y'know?



yea i know what you mean,, i think i got a violent problem i need to find an outlit before it gets out of hand... i cant go anywhere because my car is being worked on...

~NL~

PostPosted: Sun Sep 25, 2005 9:55 am
by dragonshimmer
Hmm...I'm TYPICALLY the kind of person that even though I might get REALLY upset, I just seperate myself from the person causing stress for a day or so and I'm fine. I generally don't hold grudges, and only once have I lost a friendship because someone hurt me so badly I just couldn't recover. I regret that, though, because the end of the friendship hurt her as well.

The Bible states that we shouldn't go to bed angry or anxious...and I really think there's a reason for that ^^;;

Trying to talk to the person who caused you hurt ASAP after it happens is probably a really good idea. I've learned that since then. I think it's really important to try to talk to people and work things out, then just hug each other and forigive.

If you're so upset that that's not even possible (and I still suggest it anyway), then talk to someone about it to relieve stress. I've found talking about something REALLY makes me feel better. In fact, talking helps me feel better about things that I'd stew for a long, long time about if I didn't talk about it.

I also get out and drive and spend time with God. It helps me to clear my thoughts n_n

PostPosted: Sun Sep 25, 2005 10:28 am
by starfire
I used to get angry all the time. When someone is being a jerk to you it's easy to come up with a sarcastic remark to hurt them hurt back. But I really try not to do that now. I've realized that losing control of your anger only leads to doing or saying things that you later regret. Anger in itself is not bad. Even Jesus felt anger at the Temple. It's how we choose to deal with it that makes a difference. If we channel the anger into something constructive it can be a useful emotion. But if we let it take control of us it will only lead to destruction. Learning to control your emotions is never easy, and its a continuing process, but prayer and meditation(on scripture) really helped me.

PostPosted: Sun Sep 25, 2005 10:38 am
by Starfire1
I just let it go and not dignify the person who is trying to hurt me with a response. Then I find somewhere quiet and collect my thoughts and pray it out. That always helps me.

PostPosted: Sun Sep 25, 2005 1:29 pm
by Eriana
I've been here before. The main thing that I did was talk to someone close to me and see what they say, and then I stay away from the person who hurt me as much as possible until I feel my heart is ready to face him/her again. I also realized that I must forgive this person that hurt me because I want to be friends again. I never try to shoot back a snotty remark because I realize it doesn't do any good, I don't cry either because that feeds the person's will to do more to torture because they see its working. Instead of shooting back something nasty, compliment them, usually that leaves them stuck on what to say back. Prove to be Godly, just because someone else has hurt you, don't return the favor of hurting them. Besides if we don't learn to forgive others for hurting us, the Heavenly Father will not forgive us. the biggest thing is prayer and having spiritual help from your friends, have them pray for you and seek God very closely, when people hurt you, I realized it is best to cling to God in those times and He will carry you to safety.

PostPosted: Sun Sep 25, 2005 2:42 pm
by Michael
I try to do what the Bible says to do, and that's go to them and tell them they offended you.

PostPosted: Sun Sep 25, 2005 6:24 pm
by RoyalWing
I have a really bad way of being angry/depressed at things, I think. And it just happened recently so I'll tell what I do. But it's good that it doesn't happen often.

I try to seperate myself from people, and if they come close I tell them nicely that I'm not in a good mood and they should stay away. Then I just brood and sulk by myself. That's when I'm just a little bit. When I am really mad I go somewhere where I am very sure no one is, and then I brood and sulk and swear at myself etc. :sweat:

PostPosted: Sun Sep 25, 2005 7:48 pm
by Eriana
Michael wrote:I try to do what the Bible says to do, and that's go to them and tell them they offended you.


I do that at my house and get "Yeah sure." and "Well boohoo." ^^;;;
My brothers and I fight often. Not something I am proud of.

PostPosted: Mon Sep 26, 2005 4:21 pm
by V8Tsunami
If I've had a bad day at work I usually take my frustration out on the parking lot gravel. Far from ideal but a good stomp on the throttle is nice little stress-reliever. If I'm at home and stressed I just like to kick back and listen to some Initial D music or watch something car-related. When it's really bad my mind keeps circling around a particular item, and won't stop until I've slept. After I wake up I'm usually ok.

PostPosted: Mon Sep 26, 2005 4:59 pm
by Mangafanatic
I generally pray that God will give me freedom from all the anger. I was once very deeply emotionally hurt by two people in my church. It's taken a year of fervent prayer that God would let me forgive to truly move on and learn to love those people.

Another thing I just thought I'd throw in, there really isn't a point when a person is "past" just praying and reading their Bible. There's nothing on Earth more powerful than that. I know that sounds so preachy-- but that's the truth. As humans we can tell ourselves "I WILL FORGIVE THIS PERSON!" or "I WILL NOT BLOW UP AT PEOPLE ANYMORE!!" But the truth is that we don't have that power on our own. In ourselves, we'll screw up everytime. Without having the love of Christ just overflowing in us, we can't really love people. Without his freedom, we can't let go ot hurt or frustration. When we try to make ourselves be good without it being a direct out pouring of the spirit, we're just gonna get really--REALLY-- frustrated.

PostPosted: Mon Sep 26, 2005 5:07 pm
by Eriana
I am hard to deal with when I'm mad, I admit this freely. Plus my nature has always been fire temper with spunkiness mixed in. ^^;;;
When I was a little girl I used to tackle my brother, and he was way tallet than me, but since I was so mad I would literally tackle him and knock him down. And then of course beating people with my fists (done that since I was little) but thankfully that's cooled down a lot. ^^;;;
I'm not exactly a, fun person to be around when I'm mad. ^^;;;

PostPosted: Mon Sep 26, 2005 6:31 pm
by Mi-Ru-Me
I use to be the person who released anger by punching people and I was in th priciples daily people just wouldnt leave me alone then after a while slowly started to not get angry as often bu then it just started to build up till I would finnaly blow up and someone not good when that person is your grandma. (and I dont know why but when they started praying and sayiing stuff about demons and my grandma called me a demon I was really mad and left...I guss I look scary when Im angry) yet I have been working hard and started to mellow out. I mean some people have told me I actually l;ook like a really calm guy. I mean wow.

PostPosted: Mon Sep 26, 2005 10:09 pm
by Yumie
I've never felt EXTREMELY hurt by someone except once that I can remember when I was informed that two people in my youth group were talking about me when I left the room (this was when I was like thirteen and now I don't have any problems with these two people.) I was angry about it for a while, but I don't know, I got over it. I didn't really pray about it or do anything, I guess it just stuck for a little bit then finally rolled off my shoulders or something. And there's always the hurt you will feel when somebody doesn't accept you the way you wish they would, but I don't find that's too difficult to deal with, I just try to move on. I always feel a little mad and betrayed but I get over it without too much trouble. Other than that, I usually get along with people pretty well and if I have a problem with them I don't say anything, so even people I can't stand usually like me to some decent extent because they have no clue that I can't stand them. Funny story: When I was at camp I was informed that some of the staff girls were getting into major fights and spreading nasty rumors about just about everybody (yeah I know, those girls really reflected Jesus right? Yep, 'cause that's what they're there to do *rolls eyes.*) So anyways, I asked the girl who told me, "Who exactly are they spreading rumors about?" And she answered "Everybody." And I said, "What are they saying about me?" And she said, "Oh, no, they're not spreading anything about you. I mean, what could they possibly say about you? You're like Jesus' sister or something." That made me laugh. I guess basically I hide problems I have with people well enough that they think I must be Jesus' sister :lol:. If only they really knew me. . . anyways, I'm not sure if having such a keen ability to hide my dislike of some people is actually a good thing, but I don't get too hurt too often and I guess that's basically the point. (Now I'm just rambling. Sorry! :sweat: )

PostPosted: Tue Sep 27, 2005 8:14 am
by shooraijin
So, like, if you're Jesus' sister, what does that make Osaka? ;) ;)