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A Mom and A Dad...

PostPosted: Wed Sep 14, 2005 7:55 pm
by ~Natsumi Lam~
--->I am wondering, when a child grows up without a mom or a dad... are things left wanting in life [spiritual, mental, physical ..etc] or is everything intact? And, does God make up for those gaps?

-->The reason i ask is that I love studying psychology and family health. Also, i want to know whether the non christian world is full of crap or has some truth in its theories.

-->Also, the non christian world thinks that a child can be raised with two dads or two moms. WHat are your thoughts?

My family:
My 5 aunts and uncles all grew up with a mom and a really really bad bad dad,,, who was never there but when he was ... he was really bad. Thus, all my aunts and uncles kinda turned out messed up. But two let God into their lives and they changed!!! God's awsome!!!

~Natsumi Lam~

PostPosted: Wed Sep 14, 2005 8:04 pm
by Mr. SmartyPants
hmmmm, that is quite hard

There could possibly be no definate answer, for every child will have a different reaction to such things. There could be MANY other different factors to why a child A would go one direction and Child B would go another. (especially if they weren't related, I.E. Siblings)

PostPosted: Wed Sep 14, 2005 8:11 pm
by ~Natsumi Lam~
Mr. SmartyPants wrote:hmmmm, that is quite hard

There could possibly be no definate answer, for every child will have a different reaction to such things. There could be MANY other different factors to why a child A would go one direction and Child B would go another. (especially if they weren't related, I.E. Siblings)



i mean personally...

for me... i have had both. But my best friend didnt, and she had a real hard time with trusting guys [that was her side effect]. My other friend got married at 14 [that was her side effect] and she doesnt trust men. My husband... had both .. but it was like his mom and dad werent there neways... so he raised himself as a result he has some weird issues about love [that was his side effect]. my father .. only hda a mom... he was very very independent [that was his side effect].

I dont want anyone to say anything they feel is hurtful to them. Only what you want to share. GOOD OR BAD!! I just wanted little things you see in your life that is a result of one, two, none parents.



~Natsumi Lam~

PostPosted: Wed Sep 14, 2005 8:14 pm
by Mr. SmartyPants
hmmm, well my parents argue on occasion.... my family isn't very... nuclear... the last time we had a FAMILY meal would be at a resturant like a week ago, and before THAT a month or two ago...

I usually eat dinner alone or with one or two other family members... different ones at times

But I havent really experienced any of that

PostPosted: Wed Sep 14, 2005 8:21 pm
by Ashley
I think having both parents around is the ideal model, and--if all goes well--you get a good grasp on what marriage should be like. Even in a marriage wrought with strife, usually if they're still together the children still pick up on what NOT to do/how NOT to treat your mate. However, I don't think it's impossible to learn these things without a parent; we have, after all, the Holy Spirit, the greatest teacher we'll ever need. I've heard of many men who have become great fathers and did not even have one to model such behavior for them.

PostPosted: Wed Sep 14, 2005 10:53 pm
by Alice
Nothing is impossible with God.

But, I think basically the family structure is necessary for a kid to grow up "normal" at all. I mean, you have to have some love, and some role models to follow! Those could be found outside the family, but I think that's harder. I'm not sure many people care about kids these days, which is a crying shame because kids need to be protected and taught how to live right.

EDIT: And taught that they're valuable and that God loves them. It's harder to believe in God's love without being loved by humans, too.

PostPosted: Thu Sep 15, 2005 1:10 am
by agasfas
Today in psychology class we watched a video about that stuff. Basicly what it was about were a few kids who had no parents or parents who treated them really bad. On average these kids were way under weight and much shorter.

Then after the children were put into a loving home (some re-united with real parents), the kids grew in height on average 8inches in one year (normal kids usually grow 2inches a year) and gained much more weight. They basically caught up. I can probably believe that a lack of love in a childs life can really do a lot of damage... but with the power of God and love, people can change for the better. Nothing is impossible. But yes, I think Love plays a huge part in a childs development, whether it's from real parents, people who adopt or just having friends that care.