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How to talk to your parents about Anime.
PostPosted: Fri Sep 02, 2005 7:10 am
by Wise Dragon
Ok everyone Im sure im sure Im not the only one with this problem. Does this sound familliar? "your how old and your still watching cartoons". I thought Id start a thread where we could discuss how to talk to them.
Ready. Set. GOO!!
PostPosted: Fri Sep 02, 2005 7:51 am
by Rev. Doc
I know that Steve Racer from here at CAA did a panel at the Animazement convention in Durham, NC on this exact subject. I'll PM him and ask if maybe he will look in and share from his vast wisdom.
PostPosted: Fri Sep 02, 2005 8:38 am
by uc pseudonym
Well, my parents never really objected in that manner, so it wasn't an issue for me. I say that only because every parent is different. Some of them oppose anime on moral grounds, others merely think it is childish. How they feel highly changes how you should talk to them about it.
Most likely, an explanation that in Japan animation is used for all genres and age levels would be simplist.
PostPosted: Fri Sep 02, 2005 9:30 am
by Mithrandir
I know my parents were skeptical, but my mother is a pastor, and some of her teens are into anime. She asked me a bunch of questions, and I finally sat her down and made her (and my father) watch Kiki's and Castle of Cagliostro. Now the down side is, they don't understand there can be a single cartoon. They think all cartoons are weekly as LEAST. Anyway, once they saw that some of these are great for adults, then everything was alright.
I'm not suggessting that all parents will react this way, but mine did. HIH!
PostPosted: Fri Sep 02, 2005 9:36 am
by Scribs
IF they are comlaining about cartoons being childish, set um down and show em Grave of the Fireflys that should shut them up.
JK, I am in no way condoning disrespectfulness towards parents. Try to explain and be content with their judgement. Though showing them Someing like Grave of the Fireflys might make them see that anime isnt all childish. Just be respectful.
PostPosted: Fri Sep 02, 2005 9:42 am
by termyt
Most people whose parent's just think cartoons are childish probably won't have too much trouble. A lot in my family look at me sideways, but it doesn't bother me. I've explained anime reaches all genres and ages, so they at least understand that on an intellectual level, but if they aren't interested in it then there is little you can do to change their minds.
On the other hand, if they have moral objections, then I think it benefits you more to try to change their opinions. The "all genres and ages" argument is a good place to start here, as well. There is a lot of sex and violence in anime, but no more so than in the US entertainment industry. Show them anime that is typical of what you like to watch (hopefully it's clean - but it's not right to push anime with the clean stuff so your parents think it's OK and then watch stuff you know they would disapprove of). If they resist watching any of it, gently remind them that they are setting a bad example by standing by a moral objection when they refuse to examine all sides of the argument.
PostPosted: Fri Sep 02, 2005 10:03 am
by kazekami
My mom has always said your never to old to watch carttons. However, her objection to anime was because of sterotypes that anime all is sex and violence. And I don't know what else is going through her head. I tricked her into watching Vampire hunter D. Which is violent. But she likes Vampires. But then my friend and i recently got her to watch Mellienium Actress and Voices from a Distant Star. She really liked all 3 films. She said they were a bit weird but she liked them. My next goal is to get her to watch Spirited Away. I know what kinds of films my mom likes and I'd like to share anime of this type with her. My dad on the otherhand will not watch anime at all. He told my sister and i when we first started getting really into it that it was terrible stuff and it was all over TV when he was in okinawa and he didn't understand why we were watching it.
PostPosted: Fri Sep 02, 2005 10:14 am
by Sammy Boy
My parents are into the Hayao Miyazaki stuff, but as long as any anime title does not have sex and nudity in it, they seem to enjoy watching it with me.
So ... I dunno .. I've never had to talk to them about anime. We just watch it together.
PostPosted: Fri Sep 02, 2005 11:25 am
by dragonshimmer
I never got into anime until I started college, and my parents only recently (within the last few years) found out about my interest in it. They poke fun at me because they don't particularly understand it very much, but fortunately, they're not familiar with the stereotype that people seem to have of all anime being porn and violence. I guess that's one good thing about growing up in the middle of cotton and peanut fields. They do think I'm entirely too old to be watching cartoons, but they're entirely too set in their ways and too up in age to want to give it a try. For the most part, it's not something they bring up. When they walk into my apartment and see all of my anime stuff, they just kind of act like it's not there.
PostPosted: Fri Sep 02, 2005 7:25 pm
by ~Natsumi Lam~
I guess... my situation is a lot different....
I was 18 when i first started watching anime. My parents didnt pay attention. All they said one time was " hey some of the older parents in the church are skeptical about pokemon , is it Pocket Demons". They just said that in passing. I like drawing far more than watching so i dont think they even cared.
As far as cartoons at 22. They are just glad i stopped watching sponge bob last week. Oh wait i still watch it.
~NL~
PostPosted: Fri Sep 02, 2005 8:01 pm
by Yumie
Well, my parents trust Osaka and I rather extensively (they have never once pulled a volume of manga off our shelves to make sure it was "appropriate", they've let us know their standards in the past and know that we know what they expect of us), and due to that we try not to do anything that would violate that trust. We are selective in the manga and anime that we read and watch. And we tell them that. Even when one of my VERY conservative aunts picked up a volume of Fruits Basket, flipped through it backwards, and told Osaka in my fathers presence that it was trash and needed to be burned (and she was quite serious), my dad still didn't question us extensively. We talked about it in the car on the way back a little bit, and he was convinced when Osaka said that if he wanted he could read them and she would be fine with that. Thankfully I think our parents know that we have to learn to let the Holy Spirit inside us convict us. So they're OK with it. Osaka and I have never done anything to violate their trust before, and they know that we'll be careful not to do it now either!
So that covers the moral side. Then on the side of it being cartoons, we've explained all the jazz about it being a medium of entertainment and how it has just as much potential to be excellent as any other medium, so yeah, it's all good!
PostPosted: Fri Sep 02, 2005 8:31 pm
by Mangafanatic
As Yumie mentioned, we've been through this mill before. It's not a fun one.
I have only ever once in my life bought something I thought my parents wouldn't want me having and that was--- *gasp!* SAILOR MOON VOLUME 7!!!! Really, that's it. I was twelve, and my parents told me they wanted me to get rid of it. I did so, and since then, there's been no hiding.
Personally, I think that's step number one. Hide NOTHING. Orignally, my manga got stashed under my bed, not because it was something bad, but because I just didn't want them disapproving of my rather unusal hobby. But when I turn fifteen or so, I was over being a closet fan. I put it up on a shelf where every person who wanted to doubt my choices was free to walk in and read whatever they wanted. If you haven't done this, let me encourage you to do so. MAKE EVERYTHING PUBLIC! Avoid even the suspicion of evil.
Next, find some anime that you watch and enjoy and respectfully ask your parents to watch it. If they say no, just make sure you tell them "Hey Mom/Dad, this is important to me. As my parents, I desire your approval in everything I do. For that reason, I would like for you to atleast consent to my interest in this subject." If you approach it like that, asking the "blessing" of your parents as it were, I think they'll be impressed that you're showing that kind of maturity.
Next, dispell all the steriotypes. Give them the timeless bit about "anime being a medium for story telling. Like TV or books, you can tell good or bad stories with the use of that medium. I chose to watch the ones I feel are praiseworthy, and fitting for a Christian to be involved with."
And lastly-- *sigh* come to the realization that they may never "like" anime. Everytime a new volume of anime comes in the mail from blockbuster, my dad says "I see we got a new
anime movie in the mail." In a way, it bothers me, because I would rather I didn't get the vibe that he considered it second class, but, on the other hand, I realize that anime is something that's completely removed from his generation. I can't EXPECT him to like it. For that reason, I'm just thankful for the freedom my folks give me to love something they don't really understand or appreciate in the way I do.
There's my few tips. Sorry they're not that impressive, but that's all I've figured out so far. Maybe, one day in the future, I'll write a more complete post when I succeed in converting my parents to otakus. . . But it might be a while.
PostPosted: Fri Sep 02, 2005 8:38 pm
by Linksquest
Yea. My parents were not so against because of specific reasons, but, truthfully out of not knowing what it was at all. Two months ago my father asked me if "anime" was a show on TV. I was all- "
".
I think It's really hard because a lot of the "popular" anime out there would have at least one thing in it that my parents wouldn't like. Ranma 1/2 for example has ecchie (SP), which i really am not to proud of either. Although Azu Manga Daioh is amazingly funny, some of the jokes are crude and their is bad language.
I don't think my parents are as concerned about the language bit of it as much, as i am now 18 and am mature enough to handle that sort of language, LOL, though i really don't like hearing cuss words no matter what the circumstance! ^^.
While we are on the topic, does anyone know a good anime that would be, "Parent-safe" to watch with them. Like, i don't want them to get into it and then there be a random cut-scene of innapropriatness!
Any suggestions?
PostPosted: Fri Sep 02, 2005 9:44 pm
by Mangafanatic
Linksquest wrote:Any suggestions?
Last exile should be parent safe. I can think of nothing particularly objectionable in it.
PostPosted: Fri Sep 02, 2005 9:52 pm
by Arnobius
My parents can't stop me from watching it since I'm an adult, but they're convinced I'm watching pornography and are strongly disapproving. I've always tried to be open, but they decided that since they saw a page of hentai fan art of Sailor Moon, they were convinced this is what anime was. So eventually we came to a truce over it. They won't hassle me so long as I don't try to share it.
PostPosted: Fri Sep 02, 2005 10:07 pm
by Steeltemplar
Since I'm 24, even though I still live with my parents, they are really barely coginiscent of what I do. They are aware that I watch anime and read manga a lot. But I think only vaguely so. Every time I say the word "manga" to them, I have to re-explain to them what the term means. Shows you that they are really apathetic about it. lol.
I think it is a combination of me being 24 and them trusting me a good deal.
PostPosted: Fri Sep 02, 2005 10:09 pm
by kazekami
Heh my parents can't stop me either since I'm an adult. I got into anime and manga at University. Relaized I had watched quite a few as a kid without knowing it. My parents were horrified. My mom keeps saying "You've really changed, you used to be intrested in England now your not." 0_o SHe doesn't realize I can be intrested in English literture and Anime.
PostPosted: Fri Sep 02, 2005 10:22 pm
by Lochaber Axe
Last Exile is good, but I would probably pick another series as bait and then catch them with this. There are some aspects shown that could be mis-intrepreted. Just don't do like I did, and have the first anime you buy be Rah-Xephon. The language gave me some looks.
Also remember, once you turn 18, they tend to trust you if you earned it. Like i have my manga and anime out right next to my computer and though some of the series are somewhat "meh"... they don't storm in here and watch them to see if they are appropriate. If you earned it, then they will give you your space.
Edit: Remember too, that there will be some titles you will probably never show your parents. I wish i could show them my Gunslinger Girl dvds but... they wouldn't be able to get past the violence by little girls. We all have our tolerances, and it is best to estimate theirs.
PostPosted: Fri Sep 02, 2005 10:43 pm
by Linksquest
Mangafanatic wrote:Last exile should be parent safe. I can think of nothing particularly objectionable in it.
I am already watching last exile!
Such an awsome show! ill think about that one mangafanatic, thankz!
PostPosted: Sat Sep 03, 2005 11:25 am
by uc pseudonym
Linksquest wrote:Two months ago my father asked me if "anime" was a show on TV. I was all- "
".
Heh. I have been actually asked, "Who's Anna Mae?"
Linksquest wrote:While we are on the topic, does anyone know a good anime that would be, "Parent-safe" to watch with them. Like, i don't want them to get into it and then there be a random cut-scene of innapropriatness!
Any suggestions?
I think it, again, depends on your parents. If they truly don't want any portrayal of anything sinful, you have a problem (and may want to hide your Bible under the bed). But most parents will accept some things as entertainment suitable for mature persons. For example, take a parent who feels Westerns are okay but strongly objects to any sexual content. Show him a Western anime without sexual conten. It is good to talk about anime as a broad medium, but better to show it.