CAA: Christian Anime Alliance

My parents are divorcing. What do I do now?

Since we moved to New York things have not been smooth. I hoped so much things would get better. But maybe it's best this way. Whatever you do, put no blame on my mother.

Shao Feng-Li wrote:My parents are divorcing. What do I do now?

Since we moved to New York things have not been smooth. I hoped so much things would get better. But maybe it's best this way. Whatever you do, put no blame on my mother.

I'm sorry to hear that. All I can do is pray for you and your family/

If i was you, i would pray to god and leave this sisuation in his hands! I will pray for you! -_-

I just want to die. Crawl in a little hole and never come out. Or wake up out of this nightmare. I don't want my dad to leave. I love him.

If this is God's will then all you can do is pray to him. I will pray for you and your family to heal and have strangth in God

Remember I have a sister and two brothers... This is just the kind fo thing that happens to everyone else. You'd never think it would happen to you.

Wow. I'm so saddened to hear this is happening to you! There are many people here who have been there, so you have people around who can cry with you. I know there's nothing I can say that will make the pain go away, but we're here if you need to cry, or vent or whatever.

I'll pray for you, definitely. I think you should make sure you talk about it with your parents and let them know how you feel, but whatever happens remember God loves and has plans for you and your family.

They know how I feel. I made that certain.

ill definatly pray for you and i am here if you need someone to talk to

This is horrible. I can't imagine what you're going through right now but God does. I'll pray that you and the rest of the family will draw closer to Him in this time of need. May He give you comfort and strength that no one else in this world can provide.

I'm really sorry to hear this. *hugs Shao*

Divorce is truly an awful thing...my parents divorced when I was about 12. I'll pray for you.

Prayers for you and your family~ T.T

That's so terrible... it is very true that the ones who suffer in this kind of situation most are the children. ;__; I'll make it a point to pray for you tonight.

My parents divorced when I was very young; so I don't quite remember it. Then my dad never came around until I was in about middle school. The truth is that sometimes these things really hurt. Just remember that just because they desided to split up that doesn't mean they love you any less. I'll be praying for your parents and for you as well. I really hope things work out. Take care.

i am truelly and whole heartedly sorry!!!! When my parents told me that they were getting a divorce/// it distroyed me inside... it too me a long time to recover... i got physically sick because that and many other reasons going on that year.... fortunatly they got back together.... but even this day i feel shredded inside because of it. So, i will pray for you and your family!!!!! I truely am sorry!!!!


All i can say that got me through it with my sanity was praying.... only God can take that pain. It takes a while but God can do it.


My prayers are with you [i am even praying now!!]
Your sister in Christ!,
~Natsumi Lam~

I am sorry you have to go through this. I've been through it myself. You will survive and you will feel like crawling out of the hole again.

My advice? As always, learn from the experience. We become better people when we learn from the tragedies in our lives.

Most importantly, be the best Godly daughter you can be. Be there for both of your parents and with your siblings to listen to them, share with them, and cry with them. Try hard to avoid allowing either parent to use you as a weapon against the other. But don't drive yourself crazy trying to be "the good daughter," either.

I really do feel for you. I wish you didn’t have to go through this. Please take care of yourself and don’t lock yourself in your room no matter how much you want to.

Peace.

Divorce has always been a mystery to me. If two people love each other, how could they suddenly stop? How many people regret their decision after it is too late?

I have had a lot of time to think about these questions, because my parents divorced when I was 12.

It certainly isn't God's will, so don't blame Him (honestly, who would follow a God that would will such a thing?). The important thing for you to do now is to be able to forgive your parents for hurting you and allowing their marriage to fail. I can't tell you to move on, because I know that that is virtually impossible. Just remember that only God is always faithful. Turn to Him, and don't let your parent's actions destroy your faith in Him or destoy your faith in marriage as a Godly insitution.

I will be praying for you.

cbwing0 wrote:Divorce has always been a mystery to me. If two people love each other, how could they suddenly stop? How many people regret their decision after it is too late?

I have had a lot of time to think about these questions, because my parents divorced when I was 12.

It certainly isn't God's will, so don't blame Him (honestly, who would follow a God that would will such a thing?). The important thing for you to do now is to be able to forgive your parents for hurting you and allowing their marriage to fail. I can't tell you to move on, because I know that that is virtually impossible. Just remember that only God is always faithful. Turn to Him, and don't let your parent's actions destroy your faith in Him or destoy your faith in marriage as a Godly insitution.

I will be praying for you.

Love is not simple. There is a transition that must take place from the love of attraction (all attraction - physical, mental, and spiritual) to the love of a lifetime. They are different in nature and the transition can be difficult and unexpected for many. Perhaps married members maybe able to speak on how a marriage lasts and how it can fail.

God does not like divorce, that much is true. However, if God was not a part of the union when it began, He may not find fault when it ends.

termyt wrote:Love is not simple. There is a transition that must take place from the love of attraction (all attraction - physical, mental, and spiritual) to the love of a lifetime. They are different in nature and the transition can be difficult and unexpected for many. Perhaps married members maybe able to speak on how a marriage lasts and how it can fail.

After thinking carefully about it, I'm feeling inclined to agree with that; and that's probably why it's so very important to not rush into marriage, but instead give it lots and lots of time and prayer.

(Not to get off topic or anything; just thought I'd mention that.)

It certainly isn't God's will, so don't blame Him

Oh it most certainly is God's will. Nothing happens unless God ordains it. I know that one of the biggest causes was the my dad commited audultry and lied. What he lied about I know now. And there's more to it, but I really don't want to know. I don't understand why but they won't get back together. I believe my dad is truly sorry and the pastor has remained his friend, but Dad won't be attending church every Sunday anymore. He's even thoguht about going back to California because he can make so much more money and support us. But we'd never see him again unless soemone takes a plane ride. THere's also a Nestle water plant in Main. Since he's worked with the Nestle company before so he'd probrably make more money there. Dad basicly left his computer in my hands to care for and before this year is up he will give me the car since I'll be 16 in December. Idon't hold any grudge against him either. I know that he's only human and it's our nature to want to sin. I'm grateful that I haven't commited those sins. But my Dad won't be sleeping in this house tonight, so he won't say good bye in the morning before he goes to work.

Well I haven't given up hope, gone off the deep and/or committed suicide, so I must be doing fine.

Sis do you realy have to tell everyone?......this is the 2 suckyest thing that ever happend -.- only i cant cry i only creid once cuz i know my mom need support but still....

termyt wrote:There is a transition that must take place from the love of attraction (all attraction - physical, mental, and spiritual) to the love of a lifetime. They are different in nature and the transition can be difficult and unexpected for many.

I'm not so sure about that. Marriage is an expression of a commitment to spend one's life with another person, so it would be odd if one would get married without the presence of committed love. That is why the choice of whom to marry must not be a hasty decision, or one made in the wrong spirit. An honest evaluation of both partners is necessary. Granted, there is a change between the "honeymoon period" and the time when two people actually begin to work out the simple details of living together all of the time, but the key in both cases is commitment. As I see it love is merely tested rather than changed during this time.

termyt wrote: God does not like divorce, that much is true.

"does not like," may not be quite strong enough: "I hate divorce.' says the Lord God in Israel, 'and I hate a man's covering himself with violence as well as with his garment,' says the Lord Almighty" (Malachi 2:16).

termyt wrote:However, if God was not a part of the union when it began, He may not find fault when it ends.

Whether or not it is God's will for two people to come together initially, those that marry have an obligation not to break faith with one another. Marriage is a promise to another person, and keeping one's word is a very serious matter with God. Furthermore, who we marry is not as important as our own ability to love and remain committed. We must hold to our words and commitments, especially when what is a stake is the heart of another person (not to mention one's own heart and those of the children that would be crushed by a divorce).

Note: this post would have been up about 20 minutes ago, but I got sidetracked . Anyway, this was posted after I began...

Shao Feng-Li wrote:Oh it most certainly is God's will. Nothing happens unless God ordains it.

Rather than reiterate what I have previously said, I will direct you to my remarks on this subject in another thread:

http://www.christiananime.net/showpost.php?p=490807&postcount=43

That's my take on the issue.

cbwing0 wrote:Rather than reiterate what I have previously said, I will direct you to my remarks on this subject in another thread:
http://www.christiananime.net/showpost.php?p=490807&postcount=43

That's my take on the issue.

And I was just about to say how God's Permissive Will is a little bit different from His Personal Will, but cbwing beat me to it.

To put it plainly the bible clearly says that things have been for ordained. That we were only saved through His good pleasure and were chosen before the begining of the world. Then again, I believe it's siad that God left Adam to do what he wanted and what did Adam do?

God ordaines the good and the bad. Out of God's divine forknowledge and plan He let's man have what man wants and that is Sin... But that in no way makes God the author of sin. I'm not saying I know everyinthg on the subject but I do kow that what I know is proven to be true and you, sir, are mislead. But enough of the subject (even hough they are somewhat related) there are more important things at hand.

Becky, it's not good to bare a burden alone. That's what these sisters and brothers are for. They have our backs, even though our differences.

I don't disagree with you, cbwing0. In a perfect world, we would all carefully consider the engaements and contracts we enter into and we would not make agreements we could not keep. Clearly, though, this is not always the case.

Nor is this the topic of this thread. A tragedy has befallen members of our community through no fault of their own and they could use our support.

Shao Fengl-Li wrote:I'm not saying I know everyinthg on the subject but I do kow that what I know is proven to be true and you, sir, are mislead. But enough of the subject (even hough they are somewhat related) there are more important things at hand.

Due to your situation I will refrain from responding further, except to say that I am not the one who is mistaken in this matter. If it makes you feel better to think that your parents' divorce was inevitable, then very well. Think that all you like.

Thank you cbwing0. If it intersts you, we can finish this conversation through PM. I'd be most willing, but not here. And I have a few documents and scriptures that have my back.

In that case, expect a PM from me sometime in the near future. I look forward to discussing this in greater depth .

The same here.