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Anti-Social: good or bad

PostPosted: Mon Aug 08, 2005 9:43 am
by ~Natsumi Lam~
Even though i was a cheerleader, pres of a couple clubs in HS, and active in church leadership... on my personal time or in day-to-day life i am very anti-social. I find that a large amount of anime/gamers are the same...

I would rather stay home, pray alone, read, watch tv, draw and basically be away from other....


Do you find being anti-social an issue?

And, am i the only one or do you share in it?

<~Natsumi Lam~>

PostPosted: Mon Aug 08, 2005 10:41 am
by Mr. Rogers
i think we all need to be with people sometimes, but there's nothing wrong with wanting to be alone too. Me personally, I love being with others but I also love to have time alone to myself. I like to just be alone and think, pray, just enjoy the silence, walk around by myself, read, draw, take a walk with my camera or whatever.

PostPosted: Mon Aug 08, 2005 11:19 am
by agasfas
I have my feelings of being anti-social too. Usually around groups of people I dont' know or when I feel like a 3rd wheel- which is quite often. My friends have a tendency of wanting to bring other people to hang out, and then I kind of end up as the chauffeur-driving everyone around and such. Well it seems like it.

But I can be social in small group of people I know. I wouldn't necessarily find "anti-socialism" a problem unless you make an extreme effort to be anti-social. For some, being more independent is in their nature. God makes us all different for a reason and there's nothing wrong with it.

I too like to stay home and just relax, watch tv or just browse the net. But we need to get out occasionally too. Like me, I go on random pointless drives, or just shoot hoops with a few friends. As long as I have a few good friends, I don't need to be part of a huge "click" or anything.

PostPosted: Mon Aug 08, 2005 12:41 pm
by Ingemar
Antisocialism is ultimately bad, and this is coming from one who is independent *points at self.* I enjoy downtime, but I realize that too much time alone can warp you. Just watch the movie Cast Away.

Plus, I think God meant men to be together (for the pedantic among us, I mean "man" as mankind, rather than one sex).

PostPosted: Mon Aug 08, 2005 12:59 pm
by dragonshimmer
If you're talking about being anti-social and it's relativity to myself...then no, I don't find it to be an issue. I'm perfectly happy with staying home by myself sometimes, locked away from the rest of the world.

Now. If I think about how it affects people who care about me...then yes, I think it is an issue, because they generally want to hang out a lot, and sometimes I'd much rather just stay to myself. It's nothing personal to them, but I like a lot of downtime. However, it's hard for someone who isn't like this to understand, and I can most definitely see how it would be a little hurtful to them for me to choose to sit at home with a book or game rather than to hang out with them quite often.

PostPosted: Mon Aug 08, 2005 1:56 pm
by Yokuo
Wanting alone time is cool, but I feel it necessary to hang out with other people sometimes too. Alot of times, I'd rather stay home. There's nothing wrong with it.

Basically, just do as you want, but don't go to the extreme (hanging out too much or being alone too much).

PostPosted: Mon Aug 08, 2005 2:14 pm
by Shao Feng-Li
I love being home alone and I love being at the mall with my family and friends. I think it just kind of works out on it's own.

'Cept now I have my own room and a Game Boy and and RPG game for it... Maybe to much alone time!

PostPosted: Mon Aug 08, 2005 2:19 pm
by Shadowchild
Soemtimes I feel better to be anti-social. Some people just annoy me. With me I feel better when I am just not around other people. My mom gets all over me about it though so she will kick me off the comp alot or send me to someone that I dont even like's house.

PostPosted: Mon Aug 08, 2005 4:51 pm
by mitsuki lover
I was never popular growing up which is why I pefer being off by myself and being alone with my cat to being around people. :shady:

PostPosted: Mon Aug 08, 2005 6:50 pm
by Scribs
better than being an ultra people person.

PostPosted: Mon Aug 08, 2005 7:11 pm
by HisaishiFan
Hmm, I'm not sure that I'm anti-social, but I do prefer cultivating relationships with people that have that inner - um - spark, maybe? I don't know what to call it. I guess it would be with people that catch my spirit on fire. Doesn't matter how old or young they are, men or women, educated or not. I tend to love being around people who others might see as unique or eccentric or dorky or artistic or geeky or simple (that is in the plain way). These are all good things to me! But I to work to be careful not to judge people who seem to be a bit more in the mainstream - you can never really know someone's inner heart and God really wants us to see people the way He sees them.

PostPosted: Mon Aug 08, 2005 7:58 pm
by Ren_sama
I used to be quite anti-social. But I found it to be kind of lonely for me. Perhaps it was just my personality; I can't stand being alone.
But being anti-social isn't necissarily a bad thing. ^^ I enjoy doing all the things you listed by myself too. Sometimes people can be discouraging too...

...hm, I wonder if that make any sense....o_O

PostPosted: Mon Aug 08, 2005 11:20 pm
by Icarus
A long time ago, I decided that I am frienly, but not social. I may not seek out conversation, but if you come up to me, I won't glare at and and tell you to leave...

Except for Rachel. J/k.

I spend a lot of my time either mentally or physically secluded.

PostPosted: Tue Aug 09, 2005 9:03 am
by Syaoran
I give you one good point.....It give you the quiet time to think about how you will do a problem.

PostPosted: Tue Aug 09, 2005 9:06 am
by FadedOne
lol....yeah I totally know what anti-social is like. I dont dislike people(usually ;) ) but sometimes they're hard to deal with. I find that I struggle to figure out how to talk to people when the ice isn't broken or we don't have a common topic to ramble about until there's a comfort level and ability to share more.

Also, I guess i'm spoiled. For a time there I had a couple close friends who really seemed to understand me. which is....rare. Now time and life have decided to make them hard to catch so we have to struggle to keep up, and yeah....it's kind of hard to go from being really understood for once, to being an odd person that amuses people. (not that i'm complaining, i'm just deifnitely noticing that i'm less used to being misunderstood and it's kinda of frustrating sometimes to not connect with people...)

so yeah....rambling. basically, i totally relate to being anti-social. granted all of that ends in a week. *dies*

PostPosted: Tue Aug 09, 2005 9:09 am
by The Last Bard
I hope it's not a be a bad thing...I'm not anti-social in the sense that if someone starts talking to be I'll put my hands in my pockets and run off.
I will almost NEVER start the conversation, but if they start it...I'll talk for as long as they'd like to.
But I choose to be anti-social. Like those before me, a lot of people annoy me. No one is into the things that I'm into, they're loud and swear, they all think anime is stupid, they don't really care about anyone out of there own little circles.
Those kind of people just annoy me, and why should I spend my time trying to get in there little circle?
And besides, I'd rather spend my time improving my drawing skills or something like that.
It's just the way I am, I guess.

But on the internet...It's kind of a dif. story, if you know what I'm sayin'

Later,
Aaron

PostPosted: Tue Aug 09, 2005 10:02 am
by Sonic_13
Hmm, I have many POTENTIAL friends, but they are people I generally disagree with. By obtaining their trust I would have to get into their ways of life, which would be drugs and sex. If you dont believe me, the town I live in is very very small, the people who live around here are evil! I prefer not befriending them, even if it means being alone all the time.

For the record I've never really had problems with people not liking me. Which I also find strange, since I am such a weird person. Looks? Athletics? Humor? Who knows what people want =/

PostPosted: Tue Aug 09, 2005 12:34 pm
by kazekami
I am pretty anti social. I like to play 1 player games. I love to read and do research. However I do get lonely. When i was at school I at least had interaction with people at school. And I would hang out with my friends once in a while. I only have 6 friends i know irl. The rest are people I met online. I enjoy haveing intelligent conversaions with people as well as just being plain silly. I need some social interaction. At the moment I have basically an hour of church on sundays and my familly. But when I'm home I'm mostly in my room with my cat. Playing games, reading, on the computer, or watching something.

I'm not athletic, I don't like the sunny weather, I don't enjoy clothes shopping, I'm weird.

PostPosted: Tue Aug 09, 2005 1:24 pm
by Shao Feng-Li
We all need to be like Elijah and live in a cave. Now that's alone.

PostPosted: Tue Aug 09, 2005 2:58 pm
by Arbre
Shao Feng-Li wrote:We all need to be like Elijah and live in a cave. Now that's alone.

xD

But he wasn't really alone. He had God. :)




The word "anti-social" I think has lost some of its original meanings because it's used so often and so loosely.

Anti is "against"... not "I don't love it all the time."

To be totally against socializing is bad. It's unhealthy and it's not making the most of the life that God has given. Paul was constantly encouraging the early saints to be there for each other and encourage and build each other up and pray for each other. Also, to get involved in the community of believers, especially, that others would be able to see their love for each other.


Time away from people *is* necessary, though. Jesus spent time alone whenever he could.

To truly meditate and pray and read and seek for understanding, sometimes a good long period of seclusion is absolutely necessary.

Everyone's balance is gonna be a little different but ignoring either time with (and for) people or time with (and for) yourself to recharge and refocus doesn't work.

PostPosted: Tue Aug 09, 2005 3:02 pm
by Shao Feng-Li
But he wasn't really alone. He had God.

I know. I was kidding. ^^ Cool post Arbre.

PostPosted: Tue Aug 09, 2005 5:06 pm
by Debitt
Anti-social is, in the end, more bad than good. Being introverted, however, enjoying quiet alone time by yourself (which I think is what most people here seem to be describing. >>; technically anti-social is having a violent disregard for the rules and a lack of remorse) is perfectly fine. I myself spend more time upstairs writing or watching some anime or reading than I do out with friends and such. And even then, everything in moderation. God meant for us to be with people, and I think most of the time it'd harm us more than help us to completely cut ourselves off from the rest of the world.

PostPosted: Tue Aug 09, 2005 5:31 pm
by ZiP
Anti-Social can be good, and bad.

If you're being anti-social with people much more... immersed in the world than you are, you're going to come off better in the end.

I for example, am doing that very thing now. A good friend of mine, is having his girlfriend (probably one of her friends also) over, as well as (I suspect), his cousin (who is a guy), they're going to watch a movie. His cousin is perverted.

I can't stand being around him, and no one does anything to shut him up. He won't listen to me, and my friend doesn't seem to care about how perved the kid is, so I just declined going.

That, I believe, is an example of a good time to be anti-social.

BUT, when you have a chance to be with true, christian acting kids, you should do it! God wants us to fellowship with other believers, not stay home and watch TV.

I guess it all depends on the case, but I believe, that when you can be with people who are going to be a good influence on you, you should.

Hope I helped,
Marty J.

PostPosted: Tue Aug 09, 2005 6:56 pm
by HisaishiFan
kazekami wrote:I'm not athletic, I don't like the sunny weather, I don't enjoy clothes shopping, I'm weird.


Okay - agreed about wonderfuly lousy weather. I love rainy, drizzly weather. And thunderstorms. But no clothes shopping? We've got to get you shopping, girl! (Maybe a nice anti-social store like Hot Topic? Just kidding!)

Thanks!!!!!

PostPosted: Wed Aug 10, 2005 2:04 pm
by ~Natsumi Lam~
I want to thank everyone very much for their input! It means a lot to me! I will take into consideration whatyou all have to say!!! Thanks so much again and i hope God truely blesses you guys!


~Natsumi Lam~

PostPosted: Wed Aug 10, 2005 3:00 pm
by Yokuo
No problem :D

PostPosted: Wed Aug 10, 2005 10:53 pm
by Professor K
Being anti-social is fine. Look, if you don't like being around people, then don't be around them, its that simple. I myself hate being around people who are social just for the sake of being social.