CAA: Christian Anime Alliance

I never thought I wouyld actually be posting this on CAA since it was a few weeks ago and Im over it now.

But I still feel it inside >.>

A few weeks ago I was actually thinking of suicide. ( funny how it feels to look back at it now...)
And alot of things were bringing me down, I was putting on a act for my friends but I knew that my close friends could see right through me.

I dont know why, but I forgot the reason why I felt this way... It was weird, It was a week after this when I stepped on mt friends foot and made her cry.

I felt like crap. All those feelings of wourthlessness came back. I couldent speak to anyone that day...I was in a shell.

I thought she hated my guts <,<
And I felt baaaad.

Theres a quote from one of my favorite books Enders Shadow, Sister Carlota (SP?) is talking to one of the scientists that created Bean and the conversation falls on suicide.

She says somethign along the lines of " Even when faced with the option of suicide, I know that people still feel the love of Christ in their hearts"

More or less like that. That passage though, hit me like a bullet.
I finnaly realised what Ive been missing this entire time.

God.

Purely undeniable Jesus Christ's love.

So I just gave all my troubles and burdens to God and holy crap I felt lighter. And I talked alot about this to my friend and they helped me through.

Oh and the girl? She forgave me and were dating and running the Christian Club at school.

Thanks guys for reading those few people who prayed for me ( You know who you guys are )

*hugs Locke* Dude, I'm so glad stuff is looking up. I'll continue to pray.

Oh my gosh! I'm so glad you didn't kill yourself! I would have been SO sad! Needless to say, I'm relieved that all of this has somewhat blown over and you see just how imporant your life is to Christ.

We love you, Locke!

We love you, Locke!

Yes we do... you're one of my very favorite online people. *hugattack*

Gee guys >.> I think im going to cry <,<

I think I lost a bit of my sense of humor but I'll hang around CAA till I get it back lol

Wow, im glad you didn't kill yourself. I love how Christ pulls us out of the pits of dispare we fall into. I've recently been seeing just how important He is in my life as well, it seems my life falls apart when im not focused on Him.

teh kennith receives a hug from ryan *hug*

I would have hit you with the handle of a Katana if you killed yourself!
Sorry You had to go through crap like that >_>

Wow, I'm so glad you didn't kill yourself! Sometimes seemingly small things can trigger real feelings of despair. I'm glad God hugged you and held you by means of the Ender's book. Orson Scott Card is a very devout Mormon and he frequently weaves the love of God and the possibility of redemption into the themes of his books.

Calm your mind and Think on God.

If you don't have time well...How will you ever have time if you don't take time...

I will pray for you. *hugs* glad thigs are going better

that's very impressive...*claps* I'm glad that you managed to get through that, it's not easy I know. Card's books have inspired me in difficult times too