But I still feel it inside >.>
A few weeks ago I was actually thinking of suicide. ( funny how it feels to look back at it now...)
And alot of things were bringing me down, I was putting on a act for my friends but I knew that my close friends could see right through me.
I dont know why, but I forgot the reason why I felt this way... It was weird, It was a week after this when I stepped on mt friends foot and made her cry.
I felt like crap. All those feelings of wourthlessness came back. I couldent speak to anyone that day...I was in a shell.
I thought she hated my guts <,<
And I felt baaaad.
Theres a quote from one of my favorite books Enders Shadow, Sister Carlota (SP?) is talking to one of the scientists that created Bean and the conversation falls on suicide.
She says somethign along the lines of " Even when faced with the option of suicide, I know that people still feel the love of Christ in their hearts"
More or less like that. That passage though, hit me like a bullet.
I finnaly realised what Ive been missing this entire time.
God.
Purely undeniable Jesus Christ's love.
So I just gave all my troubles and burdens to God and holy crap I felt lighter. And I talked alot about this to my friend and they helped me through.
Oh and the girl? She forgave me and were dating and running the Christian Club at school.
Thanks guys for reading those few people who prayed for me ( You know who you guys are
)
