Has anyone here ever experienced "Social Anxiety?"

[mizuhara_fan]

During my middle-high school days, I have often had the fear of people. Now don't get me wrong on that, I had friends, but I had the fear of what they thought of me every second. Everything that I did, I thought about if I looked nice that day, if I my hair was combed right, or if what I said made sense to them. It was that constant worry of the "small-stuff" that most people call "Social Anxiety Disorder."

In fact, even casually walking in the sidewalk in a busy street can be nerve-wrecking. You wonder if every car passing by you is looking at you and judging the way you look or how you act by the side of the street. When you talk to someone you don't know, the instant you let out the tone of your voice, you freak out and jumble up your words out of fear. You later "replay" every detail of that interaction in your head and worry about future interactions with that person.

Not to mention the worst part of S.A.D. is that you're absolutely never yourself in public.

In these situations, your whole body is shaking and trembling at things most people wouldn't even think about. It feels like you're talking in front of a crowd, except the fear is constantly seeing other people notice you and irrationally placing these thoughts in your head. This is probably the reason why I never went out much.

Thankfully I've recovered a lot since then. I no longer think about the little things that I interact with each day and worry, but it's still there to a lesser degree. It took time and medication for me to actually calm down and move through life without worry about other people's thoughts, but it really did affect the way I acted during those years.

Is there anyone here that can relate to such experiences?

[Photosoph]

I don't know if mine is at such a degree, but I think I might have S.A.D. I might be under the 'people pleaser' category, if there's one, and so often I wonder what people think of me and it often causes me much anxiety. Even when writing an email I usually go over it to correct things in case it causes any offence, however slight the chance may be, and I find talking on the phone really hard. Does this count?

[ShiroiHikari]

I think I do have SAD to some degree. I get anxious on the phone(90% of the time, I don't answer it) and for some reason I can barely even talk to people I know over the phone. I'm -very- anxious with new people...I worry about how my hair or clothes look and worry if people think I'm stupid or ugly or fat. I'm afraid if I talk too much I'll sound stupid, or if I don't talk enough I'll come off as rude.

I'm scared to death to go job hunting because I can't handle the interviews. I've started to develop physical problems now too, like getting sick if I get too nervous -_-;

also, I don't know if this is SAD or something else, but I can't handle small spaces with lots of people in them anymore.

...I feel like I've said too much. o_o

[mizuhara_fan]

Yes, answering the phone was killer for me also. Especially for people that I met for the first over the phone, I only hear their voice and have to rely on making myself sound "normal" over the phone. I hesitate to even pick up a phone unless it's for somebody that's close to me. That's why I usually refer other people to contact me by e-mail since that's what I feel comfortable with.

I guess the "people pleaser" aspect goes into understanding S.A.D. If you don't please some people, you'll worry about the relationships with them in the future. Though it can also be a neurological issue involving the way our neurotransmitters function (the slower they operate in our body, the more anxious we become.)

It's too bad there's no concrete explanation for the causes of SAD.

[Rogie]

All that you've said entirely applies to me, and I seem to be getting worse lately. I'm becoming overly paranoid and think that people are always talking about me. More often than not, I feel like others couldn't care less about me, about what I have to say, and that they just don't like me.

So, yeah, it really is rough, although I've never been diagnosed. But it helps to let it out, since this is the first time I've ever actually mentioned these feelings to someone. Prayer is definitely needed for those of us with these kinds of problems.

[Mave]

If given the right amount of pressure (or emotional abuse), I think just about anyone can suffer anxieties you speak of. I only mention the latter because recently one of my friend's deteriorating social skills is largely due to the intimidation and abuse of her evil professor.

Half of the time, I stay away from ppl because I've gotten very fed up about everything and couldn't care less of what ppl think of me ("Screw everyone" attitude).

And yet......I've recently suffered great bouts of anxieties, thanks to my stressful work environment. So I think I can understand your pain. http://66.92.1.159/showthread.php?t=19653

Good news is, healing comes from God's love. I regain most of my confidence after being reassured of His love and His ways. Whenever I felt ppl disliked me for goodness know whatever reason, my negative thoughts were neutralized by God's confidence in me and how He lavishes His love and protection on me. With God by my side, I no longer worry excessively about what ppl think of me.

[That Dude]

I've never had anything like that real bad but I hate calling people on the phone...I even get nervouse calling good friends. I also just don't like being in large crowds. I don't get anxious but I do just start getting very negative and it usually just seems like my day just goes downhill from there. I think that I'm kind of the opposite of the people pleaser though...I do have my fare share of people pleaser problems but more of what I deal with is wanting to be around people but not bending to their standards and looking like a people pleaser, and coming off kind of standoffish or moody.

[mizuhara_fan]

Having gotten through my extreme issues with SAD in the past, I can only extend my advice through how I got out of it. A while ago I started taking "Omega-3" supplements (known sometimes as Fish Oil.) These can be found in the vitamin section of any pharmacy and are completely safe to take (it's basically the natural oils that we get from eating fish.) It's suppose to be good for our heart, but according to the studies out there, it also is suppose to stimulate the "serotonin" levels of our brain and makes us less "anxious."

I've noticed a great deal of difference after taking two capsules (usually 2 grams) a day for about a month. I became more calm in public and soon started to develop a way of "ignoring" my self-conciousness. Even with socializing, I felt more calm and became more myself in most stressful situations. Though sometimes I still hesitate when picking up the phone, but's I'm practicing.

But like I mentioned before, even with what I am doing, I still have issues with SAD from time to time. It depends greatly on the person whether or not Fish Oil is the right method of treating such a complicated issue. Though it is something worth trying that than taking anti-depressants (as those can really mess you up in the long run.)

That's why prayer should absolutely go beyond medication and it needs be done daily. Only God's love can really heal our anxieties and His help will set us free. I will definately add all of you to my prayers. No matter how severe the cases here, it is always better to be "out" of stress as it does hinder our life and our life with God...

[JediSonic]

To directly answer the question posed in this thread's topic, I'd say most people do experience it to some degree. I'm sure i have

[Photosoph]

Strange. I'm taking samon oil capsules at the moment; they seem to be helping me in general, not just with any SAD.

[mizuhara_fan]

[quote="Photosoph"]Strange. I'm taking samon oil capsules at the moment]

How many capsules do you take in a day? Do you take it consistently or every other day? The way it might affect SAD depends on the person and how often he\she takes it. Usually I feel a "relaxing" effect when taking two capsules each day. And it can depend on what brand you take as potancy also matters.

Though I also took Vitamin B, which also works great for stress\anxiety.

[mitsuki lover]

D subbing for Mituski Lover:
Mituski Lover told me that his particuliar social anxiety arose from being beat up by bullies all the time.
That isn't right,but it has made him nervous around strangers and especially when he is in strange places.

[TrigunX89]

Yes, I definately know how it is. Sadly, I act totally different depending on who I'm around. And I'm never completely comfortable with anyone. I'm quiet, and people think I'm wierd or don't like them because of it. And I do find myself worrying about what everyone thinks of me a whole lot. I often don't like myself because of it...

[holysoldier5000]

Hey, this is a philosophy I took to get over my S.A.D. Laughter is medicine for the soul, right? Well if I am in front of a crowd and I do something stupid, like trip, then what do they do? They Laugh! I could either look at two ways: 1. They are all laughing at me and I feel like an idiot (go hide , sulking in corner.) ...OR... 2. They are all laughing at me and I feel like an idiot, but laughter is good for them, so lets expand on the accident and make it even funnier so they will laugh more. Ultimately I can turn an embarrassing situation in my favor because I have the on-lookers rolling in the isles. Once they are dying from laughter at the situation is not as embarrassing because we all are having fun with something that was ridiculous in the first place.

Example: I have a tendency some times to stutter when I am tired. Do I get embarrassed that I can’t say the right words? No. I make the mispronounced word even worse by saying it several times with different endings, and ultimately a bunch of funny noises ending with me spiting out my tong. “Hippopotamise, Hippopitamose, Happadopadose, Hiyatotomus, Hip, hy, ho, a forget it. â€

[Alice]

I totally prefer to email people or write to them rather than talking in person to them. It is much easier!! Sometimes I don't like to be around people (even to the point of not wanting to leave the house for errands), but sometimes I'm cool with it going away a lot. It all depends.

If I'm doing something fun away from home, like shopping, I can put my mind off things and even be funny sometimes, and forget to worry whether people are looking at me or not. I might feel funny, but I try to avoid thinking about it, and not make too much eye contact. This might not be a great solution, but it sort of works.

And feeling anxious around people doesn't count with my family. I'm okay with them, unless there's something going on to make me feel worried about them.

The weird thing is that I really like people! But I find it easier to write than talk. I get tongue-tied!

[Wise Dragon]

I dout think that I have it as bad as a lot of other people but most of the time I am extermely shy and I find it very hard to talk to people. I had it so bad that if I were walking down a hallway and there were a group of people there talking or something, I would turn around and try to find another route. Sometimes the detour could take much longer than what I wanted. My problem was that I had no self confidece to come in contact with anyone, because ever since I was In elementary I was made fun of because of the way I look. When I got older I looked decent, but I still could not talk to many people, much less ever trying to ask a girl out. Then I started taking Martial Arts and I developed a sense of self confidence. Not because I could beat up people, but It really gave me a good boost of confidence that I can stand up for myself and there was no need to be affraid. I still cant ask out a girl but hey Im gettin there.

[oro!]

The probelm with me is not that I am not bold - I am! It's just that people seem to think I am too smart or weird for them. Then they go back into their little cliques and ignore me! Urgh! I hate that so much.

[Madeline]

I have a little of that. Sometimes when I am bored, I will make up conversations to have with people I know. I'm not necessarily worried about what other people think of me...unless I am convinced they view me as weak or lazy. Then I will most definitely freak out.

[haru_bay_nay]

I totally can relate to anyone who has this problem. Every morning when I get ready for school, I have to tell myself over and over again that worrying won't solve anything. I just can't help it. I have next-to-no confidence in just about anything. Take the mall, for instance. I love going there, but I hate it, too. I spend around an hour just deciding what to wear or if I should wear my hair up, down, or in-between. I avoid looking into strangers' eyes. I have to force myself not to stare at my feet when I walk. I understand what you all meant about not wanting to talk on, or even answer the phone. I also make excuses to miss every dance or big party that anyone invites me to.

I hate everything about me. Only one person has ever even noticed that, and helped me a lot, but my self-esteem is still very low. My crazy (and seemingly bold) attitude makes people think that I'm always sure of what I do and say, but nothing could be further from the truth. I often replay events and conversations in my head to think of what I should have said. I've tried praying some, too, but so far, no improvement. Can anything besides fish oil help?

[Jeikobu]

I understand what you're saying, mizuhara_fan. I don't know if it's to the extent with me as it is with you, but I've always been shy and it seems I've had trouble making good friends. Over the years I think I've definitely become alot less shy and all, but I'm still not the most out-going person you'll find. And I do think it's important what people, or more in particular my friends, think of me. I really want to make good friends, but I haven't had much luck in the past. Part of it is I haven't gotten out of the house and participated in things enough. But when I have gone to schools, I've had no luck. Until just recently, my only friends were my family. Thankfully an anime club I've gone to a couple times has helped change that, but I wonder what people will end up really being close friends that care to be my friends and that will stand by me and stay in touch with me. Always hard to know I guess, but I often pay it thought.

[Photosoph]

How many capsules do you take in a day? Do you take it consistently or every other day? The way it might affect SAD depends on the person and how often he\she takes it. Usually I feel a "relaxing" effect when taking two capsules each day. And it can depend on what brand you take as potancy also matters.

Though I also took Vitamin B, which also works great for stress\anxiety.

Hmm... I just take one a day. Sorry it took me so long to reply too. Oh well. Weirdly enough... I also take B12 tablets. O_O
Apparently the samon oil is the best type of fish oil... though I don't notice any large calming effect on it, I do know it helps me not to feel so horrid when I get tired.

Hey haru_bay_nay, I don't know if I mentioned this before... *checks* nope I didn't... what may help is to find some good scripture verses that deal with fear, since anxiety is, I guess, a type of fear. I've been just saying these to myself before I go to sleep each night. If I feel really scared/anxious, it seems to help. Although you may not notice immediate effect or anything, it's like as you keep repeating these to yourself over time (eg if you speak them to yourself every morning, it may take a couple of months) they seem to work better. I'm not sure if that will/does work for everyone, but I've been saying "He will keep in perfect peace whose mind is stayed on him" and "Fear not, for I am with you says the Lord" for... hm... well, a long time; and now if I'm feeling anxious when I go to bed, as I say them they help to calm me down.
So, to some up all of the above (I'm not sure how clear it was), repeating scripture verses that deal with anxiety may help straightaway, or if they don't, as you keep repeating them they may start to really speak to you and help you to know them as true (not just know them as true, but... I dunno... like a deeper knowing -like you really really realise they're true), so that you know them in a way that helps you to calm down. Something like that.
I also try to remember similar circumstances as the one I'm worried about that have worked out despite fear -for example, maybe if I'm really worried because I haven't finishing an assignment on time, I remember that once I was just as worried about not finishing my homework on time, but when it came to class time the teacher forgot to check our homework. ( that was so cool...) This helps me to remember (even though it may happen in a different way), that just like in the situation I've reminded myself of, what I'm worried about will turn out okay. Also even if you look at things that didn't turn out so well, most of the time: a) they were never as bad as you worried that they would be, or b) it turned out okay in the end, no matter what it was like.
Hope that helps with the anxiety part.
I also feel kinda down about myself. I'm not sure if this will help or not, but I know sometimes I have to tell myself the good things about myself. I know I used to often wonder about being proud if I did that... but I know it's important to say: you're good at drawing, your family likes you, God loves you, etc and remind myself of the truth. Maybe it's just re-enforcing the truth that I used to deny that helps; reminding myself I don't have to be afraid, reminding myself that I do have great worth (supported by scripture like: "I am fearfully and wonderfully made") etc. Perhaps it's something that won't be instant change for me -but it's better than feeling the way I do.

I'm also a perfectionist, which prob doesn't help. Is anyone else here a perfectionist?

*Looks up at above post* *double takes* Sheesh! I didn't realise it would be so long!

[Alice]

The scriptures spoken aloud are certainly powerful. God's word is more powerful than people realize.

Just a note about "He will keep in perfect peace whose mind is stayed on him." When I was younger, I thought that meant, "think about God all the time, and you'll be calm." But that sounded harder than just being nervous! Then I read a respected theologican who said the word in this case, "stayed" meant originally "rested," sort of like a firm, knowing assurance. In other words, it's like you're resting your mind on God, trusting Him. This helped me.

Another thing: People say, you have to treat yourself like a friend, not an enemy. I think that's right, although not always easy. (For instance, would you tell a friend they're stupid, dumb, can't do anything right? Not a real friend. But, ahem, some of us are tempted to do this to ourselves when we do something *ahem* stupid.)

[Silvanis]

I have. Now I have gone to therapy, so it's mostly over now.

[haru_bay_nay]

Yeah...I'll try to repeat those in my head when I feel that way. For what you said, Alice, I don't think I could ever treat myself the way I treat my friends...But that is a good way to put it.

Photosoph, I've tried those other things you mentioned, and I felt the same way(that complimenting myself made me too proud). As For your mention of perfectionism, yes, I forgot to mention that I am the biggest perfectionist ever(along with the biggest procrastinator! The two don't mix well. ). I feel pressured to do every little thing just right all the time. That probably has a lot to do with my other problems...

Silvanis, therapy seems like an extreme measure to some people, but when I was little, I often thought of how nice it would be to tell someone all of my problems and worries, who wouldn't tell them to anyone else. Of course, this was before I was saved, so I don't really need that anymore. Also, there's the misconception that all people who need therapy are crazy or instable...

I think most people consider me bold and outgoing most of the time, but I'm not at all, especially when I first meet someone, or at big social events. Is anyone else like this?

[Photosoph]

Man, I do procrastinate as well. Oh yes... having a week-long homework assignment that you stay up late on Thursday night to get finished before Friday morning instead of doing a little bit each day... The memories. ^_^"

Yeah I think I may be like that too. Well, it depends who I'm around; with some people I'm a little more quiet... with others I'm more outgoing. With my friends I like to laugh and try to be funny, although since I've lost a little confidence that needs to be regained, I'm more quiet with my friends now than I used to be.

I agree with all of those who've said that prayer is really important; so I guess I'll just keep talking to the Lord about these things. ^_^ Other than that, I'll just try to take each day as it comes.