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'dear abby' ...
PostPosted: Fri Jan 14, 2005 9:56 am
by soul alive
i usually read 'Dear Abby' for amusement purposes, and am more often than not indifferent to what the questions/answers are, but i was a bit horrified by the one today (
read on:
HUSBAND'S GENDER CONFUSION TRIGGERS WIFE'S SELF-DOUBT
DEAR ABBY: I am ashamed to admit this, but after 20 years of marriage, my husband told me that he was meant to have a woman's body. My self-confidence is destroyed. Our children are suffering in every aspect of their lives. I cannot grasp my husband's revelation, as I love him still. I also accept that this is something I cannot change, but ever since we separated, the men I have dated have all turned out to be gay.
Is it me? Am I cursed? Or do I curse others? -- DEVASTATED IN DETROIT
DEAR DEVASTATED: This has nothing to do with you, and there are no curses involved. Your husband was born the wrong gender, and it's nobody's "fault."
Counseling can help you come to grips with this issue. Since your husband is considering gender reassignment, it follows that he is seeing a therapist. You need help, too. I recommend that you ask his therapist to refer you to a psychologist or psychiatrist who is knowledgeable about transgender issues.
(if this even looks like it's going to be a problematic thread, i won't be bothered if it's locked)
PostPosted: Fri Jan 14, 2005 10:23 am
by Cap'n Nick
I've noticed similar sentiment in most other sections of my local newspaper, even the comics. There seems to be an implicit prohibition against expressing opposition to "alternative" sexuality.
Abby's advice seems sound, though. The wife shouldn't blame herself, and a psychologist could help both of them sort out their feelings.
PostPosted: Fri Jan 14, 2005 10:28 am
by soul alive
yeah, it's more and more often the theme... the second paragraph of advice was fine, but the first one was what got me all bothered...
PostPosted: Fri Jan 14, 2005 10:33 am
by ShiroiHikari
that's so depressing. true, the wife shouldn't blame herself, but...eh. people are just SO blind.
btw, I'll leave this open so long as it doesn't turn into some kind of debate.
PostPosted: Fri Jan 14, 2005 12:01 pm
by uc pseudonym
I read that too. Odd, finding a topic about it. Personally, I just shrugged, as I didn't expect anything else. The column is occasionally amusing, but most of the time the people are just whining and "Abby" just tells them to get counciling.
PostPosted: Fri Jan 14, 2005 12:33 pm
by Cap'n Nick
PERSON: I'm depressed.
ABBY: Get counseling.
PERSON: I've got a bladder infection.
ABBY: Get counseling.
PERSON: My counselor is abusing me.
ABBY: Get counseling.
PostPosted: Fri Jan 14, 2005 12:52 pm
by Godly Paladin
Dear Abby and columns like it aren't to be taken lightly, in my mind. They are responsible in part for the loss of morals and integrity, the rank immorality, and the rejection of God in this country because of the way they dish out incredibly incorrect advice day after day.
PostPosted: Fri Jan 14, 2005 12:59 pm
by agasfas
Abby, this is the first time I have ever heard of her. Who exactly is she, a famous counselor? Another Dr. Phil? I hope not...
Kind of suck her husband turned out to be Gay. But I really hate when people say "we're born that way." There is no sciencific fact that supports that. Just something we feed ourselves to say it's okay. It's all in the mind and what we feed ourselves. My guess is this guy got bored of his marriage and life to where he started to question things to the point where he believed he was gay. Perhaps thinking, what it's like to live a more exciting life, why am I bored of my marriage etc... My guess it's probably that, trying to do something out of ordinary to spice up his life. Or perhaps he let the media tell him who he is. Regardless, Abby needs to give different advice. She tries to comfort the ex-wife but doesn't... instead she takes the blame off both shoulders and wants counciling to do anwser the rest... My advice is perhaps Abby needs more counseling on how to counsel and give advice.
PostPosted: Fri Jan 14, 2005 1:31 pm
by Hitokiri
DEAR DEVASTATED: This has nothing to do with you, and there are no curses involved. Your husband was born the wrong gender, and it's nobody's "fault."
The part where she says "your husband was bornt he wrong gender through red flags at me. It kinda shows suggests God makes mistakes and is imperfect because someone was born the wrong gender...wich by all means is false.
PostPosted: Fri Jan 14, 2005 1:35 pm
by Mangafanatic
This setiments is running rampant in our society. Instead of getting couseling to help you overcome homosexuality (which is a "no-no" in the psychology word from what I hear from friends in the field), you send your wife to a psychiatrist so that she'll accept it! What's the world coming too!!!!
PostPosted: Fri Jan 14, 2005 2:08 pm
by Fsiphskilm
abby ne
PostPosted: Fri Jan 14, 2005 6:12 pm
by White Raven
Hitokiri wrote:The part where she says "your husband was bornt he wrong gender through red flags at me. It kinda shows suggests God makes mistakes and is imperfect because someone was born the wrong gender...wich by all means is false.
I agree with you. God does not make mistakes period. It is just the way society excuses problems like this one. I seen a show on tv that said some men have it in their geans to be unfaithful to their wife’s.
I could say more but I might start ranting.
PostPosted: Sun Jan 16, 2005 8:49 pm
by SonicRose
They also refuse to acknowledge that not only are you not born gay, but that people who are Gay can CHANGE (Thank you Lord for that!) He can change the hearts of others! I personally know someone who is bisexual, when I told her there were ones that had come to Christ (And she lied to me telling me she was "christian reform", she is quite firmly an atheist right now thank you) and Repented of their ways and changed, she called them all "Liars" and refused to even accept any counter arguements.
Another guy I know wants to change (He needs prayers - name Marcus) and he knows that homosexuality is wrong.
Also we have a set of IDENTICAL TWINS in the family, one is straight the other is gay - so forget the myth ofa Gay Gene.
(the 'Scientist" who did that "Experiment" was himself, homosexual, and never did repeat the experiment which true scientific tests must be repeatable)
PostPosted: Tue Jan 18, 2005 2:49 pm
by BigZam
heh heh i read a funny dear abby today it goes as follows
Dear Abby,
I don't have a problem I was just wondering why so many weird people write you.
-Baffled in Woodlands, Texas
Dear Baffled: I don't know. Why did you?
obviously someone who has nothin better to do.