CAA: Christian Anime Alliance

There's this girl I know at school. She is also into anime. taht's how we became friends. Over the course of our friendship I began to develope a crush. All of my friends made fun of me(well, a lot of them) for liking her and said stuff like, "she's really ugly, she's on drugs, etc." I just told them to shut up and that I like her for the person she is inside and that I think it's shallow to like a girl just because she's "hot" or shun someone away just because they're "ugly". I thinks that's just wrong. Anyway, that was near the beginning of the school year and some months have passed. I find that I no longer really have the same feelings for her that I used to. I hate to sound judgemental, but she's so errr... different and she takes anime so serious to the point that it's kinda' creepy. I mean, a few days ago se was telling me that if she didn't wear her hair down, that the shadow people would come and take her away. She's always telling me stories like this (won't go into details) and she's so dead-serious about it all that I think she might really mean it. I can even say I'm guilty of making fun of her about it when I'm with my friends. I don't want to be a jerk, so I'd like to stop that. It's just that I know that crushes come and go (esp. at my age) and I have little remorse of letting this one go. It's just that I don't want to hurt her feelings. She already has a boyfriend and I think she's way better off with him than me. Anyway, how should I just tell her that I'd just like to be a casual friend in a manner tha's to-the-point, but not blatant that it's hurtful. Feel free to pm me about or just post it here. thanks in advance.

yes. Crushes do come and go. It's happened a lot to me. But still be her friend! Even if she is sounds serious, i feel that shes probably joking

Sound's like she enjoys deadpan humor. Just be Christ-like to her, a good friend.

Lol I can be really deadpan when I'm sarcastic and sometimes people can't tell if I'm joking or not. If someone knows me pretty well though, they know I'm usually being sarcastic.

It's good that you have your priorities straight when it comes to girls. That's something to be admired

For me I really enjoy anime, but I'm not obsessive about it. I know a few who are. In their mind it's not okay to watch an episode here and there, no, it has to be the whole series that day. I can't do that. I like anime, but I like to get outside and enjoy what life has to offer.

Anyways, I can some what agree, hanging out with people who only think about anime gets a bit boring. It doesn't create much depth in a relationship (bf/gf) or friendship. Now about telling her. First off she has a boyfriend. It's not like your committed to her as a boyfriend. From reading your story it doesn't seem like y'all are "best friends," but rather more along the lines of acquaintances. You see her at school and talk, but outside of that nothing much. Am I right?

If that's the case, dont read too much into the problem. Talk to her from time to time if you see her in class or in the halls, but don't stress yourself beyond that. Evenutally, things are bound get distant. My only advice is not to lead her on or go way out of your way to talk to her. One because she has a boyfriend, and secondly it would only bring y'all closer to each other.

Overall, continue to be nice and talk to her from time to time-casual conversation. Just don't spend a majority of your day around her. Beyond that, don't worry about what happens. In life we meet a lot of people, work is the perfect example. I talk to fellow co-workers everyday, joke and stuff, but aside from that nothing really. As long as you don't lead her on, then it should pan out okay.

Edit: But seriously, it's not right to joke behind her back. It doesn't matter if you think she's odd or weird. Word travels in ways you wouldn't know-- gosip. Sometimes people find out and it really hurts their feelings. You don't have to be her close friend, but it's just not right to poke fun at her. Just because your other friends find it funny to make fun of her doesn't mean you have to. Be mature and say what's right... something like, "alright guys, grow up- that isn't cool." Words can really hurt. Whether she hears them or not. Plus it doesn't help your character.